Chapter 4 – The Decision

Steve sighed.

"I need some time to get my head around all of this, Dad," he said, "I don't think that I can go straight out and search for him."

"I understand, Son," Mark replied, reaching out and resting a hand on his son's arm, "What are you going to do now?"

Looking at his watch Steve replied, "I'm giving evidence in court today and then back to the precinct to catch up on some paperwork."

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Steve almost ran down the court house steps to reach his car, Cheryl following in his wake. Wrenching open the car door he jumped in, slammed the door behind him, and sat waiting for Cheryl. A few seconds later his partner got in, in a manner slightly less resembling a hurricane. Closing the door behind her she turned in her seat and said, "Okay Sloan, what was all that about back there?"

"All what?"

"All what!!" Cheryl was incredulous, "I have never seen such an experienced cop like you perform so badly on the witness stand. It was only because the evidence that we had was overwhelming that we got a conviction. Quite frankly, Steve, you were lucky to get away with the ass chewing that you got."

By this time Steve's anger had started  to dissipate as the sting of the judges words began to fade and his innate honesty forced him to admit the truth in them.

"Just chalk it up to a bad day," Steve replied, pulling the car out into traffic as he spoke.  

Quickly fastening her seat belt Cheryl looked across and said, "I know you, Steve, there is WAY more to this than a bad day, but you obviously aren't ready to tell me. No problem, I can wait."

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"Mark!" Amanda exclaimed, "What is the matter with you?"

It was a week later and for seven days Jesse and Amanda had watched their normally efficient friend lose files, drop equipment and generally seem like he was on another planet.

Mark looked up and smiled tiredly, "I'm sorry guys, I have got something on my mind."

"Would that be the same something that's bothering Steve?" Jesse queried, "He hasn't been with us this week either."

"Can we do anything to help?" Amanda wanted to know.

Mark looked at Amanda and enlightenment spread across his face.

"You are exactly the person we need!" he exclaimed, "I have to talk to Steve first, but if he agrees, would you both come to lunch this Saturday?"

Jesse and Amanda readily said yes and, with that, had to be content.

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Steve had obviously agreed to whatever Mark had suggested for there was no retraction of the lunch invitation and, at the agreed time, both Amanda and Jesse were sat on the deck at the beach house sipping a long, cold drink.

"Mark, what is going on?" Jesse couldn't take the strain anymore.

Before Mark could answer Steve stepped out onto the deck and spoke,

"I need your help."

"Anything, Buddy, you know that." Jesse said, leaving Amanda to nod in silent agreement.

"I need you both to read this first," Steve said, handing a photocopy of Amy's letter to them, "then we can talk."

In silence Jesse and Amanda read the pages in front of them. Jesse, being the faster reader, finished first and opened his mouth to bombard Steve with questions. Mark held a finger up to his mouth warning him to keep silent for a while longer. It took Amanda another minute to finish and when she looked up she had tears in her eyes.

"Oh Steve," she said, rising to her feet, moving towards her friend and enveloping him in a hug that said far more than words ever could.

Eventually releasing Steve, Amanda sat back down and she said softly, "Do you want to tell us about it?"

Sitting down in the only empty seat Steve told his story again. When he had finished Jesse had joined Amanda with tears in his eyes.

"Wow," Jesse breathed, "how are you feeling?"

"I honestly don't know, Jess." Steve replied, "A week ago the biggest problem in my life was working out the rotas at Bob's. Now, I have to get my head around the fact that I am a father and have been for over two decades. I just wish I knew what sort of life he has had, if he's been happy."

Fully aware that this one fact, as much as the shock of the news itself, was weighing heavily on his son's mind, Mark spoke.

"Amanda, tell us what being fostered was like for you."

"I have the best parents I could possibly wish for," she began, "I was a little rebellious at the beginning, but Mom and Dad just kept letting me know that they loved me and eventually, that became enough."

"You were old enough to know what was happening." Steve said, "but what happens if you are adopted as a baby?"

"Well, many of the children that I work with were adopted as babies and they all seem really happy. Their adoptive families have all been honest with them, letting them know from a very early age that they were specially chosen. It really has worked well." she laid a gentle hand on Steve's arm, "I am sure that your son has had a wonderful life and is very happy."

"What can I do to find him?" Steve wanted to know.

He had spent much of the last week thinking about what he wanted to do.  He finally decided that if he were in his son's position he would be hoping that his father would want to know him. Amanda was just about to explain the procedure to Steve when Mark spoke.

"There is something that we haven't thought about."

Everyone's eyes turned towards him.

"Apart from Amy," Mark began, "there are three other people who were aware of your son's birth."

"Her parents and her aunt!" Steve exclaimed.

"I think that it's time you visited the other set of grandparents," Mark concluded.