Date and Time: Late Evening, let's call it 10 years ago...
We both reached for it at the same time, what are the odds of that in a place like this? "Sex-Files: Case Re-Opened."
He grabbed it and said, "I've seen this before, I don't really think it's your type of flick."
Huh.
"Really? Since you know me so well, though we've never met, how about telling me what my type actually is?"
He smiled, reached over, and pulled out another tape, holding it up and saying, "Try this--the car chase alone is worth the price of the rent," then handed it to me.
"Car chase in a porn film? Sounds kinda high-brow to me." I looked at him a little closer, and I have to say, there was something familiar about him. That might just be a creepy thing to realize.
I guess he picked up on my familiarity/potentially creeped-out vibe, cause he spoke, "C'mon, don't you recognize me? I'm Fox Mulder, I live upstairs from you, our mailbox doors are on the same row."
"Oh--right, of course. So, uh, that doesn't really answer how you'd know what kind of porn I'd watch. Besides, don't you know about the six feet rule?"
"I'm sorry, what's that?"
"The six feet rule. You never stand closer than six feet from someone when looking to rent porn. It's just not done--it's like your personal space zone expands in a place like this. Much cleaner and safer that way!"
"Should I take three steps back then?" He raised his eyebrows at me, mocking, or daring, or something.
"I think it's too late for that now. It's cool."
Can I even say that a guy shopping for porn has a killer smile and just really great eyes, hair, whatever? Usually the guys who slime their way into this place don't even register on the charm and poise meter, and often have little or no hair to describe. Why is he here?
He spoke again, 'Why are you here? You really don't fit the standard profile, adult bookstore-wise, though I know this isn't your first time. I've seen you drop videos in the return box."
"Oh, well, I guess I've seen all the other movies. But let's call this research. Question: Does a porn film exist that has a fully-realized plot? Plus, it's really fun to compare people. You know, real v. fake, is she a natural blonde, does the size of his nose match the size of his--heart? Things like this."
"You're a woman of science, then. And I just rent porn because I find it romantic. C'mon, we're in the same boat. It's okay to admit that."
I had to laugh. "All right, I think I can admit it. But I am a woman of science, sort of. I'll have you know that an article I wrote was recently accepted for publication by Omni magazine!"
"You mean the UFO people? Don' t tell me you actually believe in that stuff?," he looked at me questioningly, almost daring me to say yes.
Feeling a little vulnerable suddenly, though one might expect that all along, having this conversation with an almost-stranger in a store devoted to the private and seamy aspects of life, "I don't know whether I do or not. I just know that we don't have all the answers to all the questions out there, and I am not even sure all the right questions are being asked, you know?"
Fox Mulder replied, "I know exactly what you mean. Listen, we could share this video, if you like. I mean, would you care to watch it with me? We could, uh, compare research, if you'd like."
"Compare research, eh? Maybe you could show me an etching or two, while we're at it?"
"Sorry, no etchings. I do have a few monographs you might want to take a look at," he spoke with a challenge in his voice.
So I went for it. We share a mailbox row, right? "Lead the way, Fox, is it?"
"Call me Mulder," he replied as we headed for the counter.
The cashier spoke, "Will this be all, Mr. Hale?"
Mr. Hale? I raised an eyebrow as Mulder spoke, "We live in a world of endless opportunities, my friend, with more questions than you or I will ever begin to find the answers for..."
Then, together, we left.
We both reached for it at the same time, what are the odds of that in a place like this? "Sex-Files: Case Re-Opened."
He grabbed it and said, "I've seen this before, I don't really think it's your type of flick."
Huh.
"Really? Since you know me so well, though we've never met, how about telling me what my type actually is?"
He smiled, reached over, and pulled out another tape, holding it up and saying, "Try this--the car chase alone is worth the price of the rent," then handed it to me.
"Car chase in a porn film? Sounds kinda high-brow to me." I looked at him a little closer, and I have to say, there was something familiar about him. That might just be a creepy thing to realize.
I guess he picked up on my familiarity/potentially creeped-out vibe, cause he spoke, "C'mon, don't you recognize me? I'm Fox Mulder, I live upstairs from you, our mailbox doors are on the same row."
"Oh--right, of course. So, uh, that doesn't really answer how you'd know what kind of porn I'd watch. Besides, don't you know about the six feet rule?"
"I'm sorry, what's that?"
"The six feet rule. You never stand closer than six feet from someone when looking to rent porn. It's just not done--it's like your personal space zone expands in a place like this. Much cleaner and safer that way!"
"Should I take three steps back then?" He raised his eyebrows at me, mocking, or daring, or something.
"I think it's too late for that now. It's cool."
Can I even say that a guy shopping for porn has a killer smile and just really great eyes, hair, whatever? Usually the guys who slime their way into this place don't even register on the charm and poise meter, and often have little or no hair to describe. Why is he here?
He spoke again, 'Why are you here? You really don't fit the standard profile, adult bookstore-wise, though I know this isn't your first time. I've seen you drop videos in the return box."
"Oh, well, I guess I've seen all the other movies. But let's call this research. Question: Does a porn film exist that has a fully-realized plot? Plus, it's really fun to compare people. You know, real v. fake, is she a natural blonde, does the size of his nose match the size of his--heart? Things like this."
"You're a woman of science, then. And I just rent porn because I find it romantic. C'mon, we're in the same boat. It's okay to admit that."
I had to laugh. "All right, I think I can admit it. But I am a woman of science, sort of. I'll have you know that an article I wrote was recently accepted for publication by Omni magazine!"
"You mean the UFO people? Don' t tell me you actually believe in that stuff?," he looked at me questioningly, almost daring me to say yes.
Feeling a little vulnerable suddenly, though one might expect that all along, having this conversation with an almost-stranger in a store devoted to the private and seamy aspects of life, "I don't know whether I do or not. I just know that we don't have all the answers to all the questions out there, and I am not even sure all the right questions are being asked, you know?"
Fox Mulder replied, "I know exactly what you mean. Listen, we could share this video, if you like. I mean, would you care to watch it with me? We could, uh, compare research, if you'd like."
"Compare research, eh? Maybe you could show me an etching or two, while we're at it?"
"Sorry, no etchings. I do have a few monographs you might want to take a look at," he spoke with a challenge in his voice.
So I went for it. We share a mailbox row, right? "Lead the way, Fox, is it?"
"Call me Mulder," he replied as we headed for the counter.
The cashier spoke, "Will this be all, Mr. Hale?"
Mr. Hale? I raised an eyebrow as Mulder spoke, "We live in a world of endless opportunities, my friend, with more questions than you or I will ever begin to find the answers for..."
Then, together, we left.