Mojo Majora

"Here's our new schedules!" Hermione said to them excitedly at breakfast, and she passed Ron and Harry a sheet of parchment.

Harry studied it carefully. "Not bad, for a Monday," he said. "Double Defense Against The Dark Arts, Transfiguration, and Potions in the morning, and in the afternoon we've got Care of Magical Creatures, Herbology, and Charms."

"I do hope Snape has gotten a bit kinder since last year's fiasco," Hermione said.

"Professor Snape, Hermione," Harry corrected her in a brilliant imitation of Dumbledore's voice. "And he's probably still a nasty old git."

"Harry, he cares about you!" Hermione said. "Can't you tell? He went right to the Order when you didn't show up from the forest last year! He gave Umbridge fake Veritaserum, so you wouldn't spill the beans on all of us!"

"Well he could act a little nicer, though." Harry grumbled. "Every year, Snape has acted like a big, giant…"

"Unless it's the morning sun causing my ears to burn," an icy voice whispered in Harry's ear, "I do believe I hear people talking about me."

Harry looked up at the looming figure of Professor Severus Snape. "Good morning, Professor Snape," Harry said coldly.

Snape's eyes glittered. "What were these insults being said about me, I wonder? 'Nasty old git' was it? And a 'big, giant' something… that's twenty points from Gryffindor… for EACH insult."

Hatred filled Harry's face.

Snape smiled icily. "Carry on." and he was gone.

When he was safely out of earshot, Harry threw his hands up and said, "YOU SEE?!"

"Well, you're not supposed to insult teachers as a general school rule." Hermione told him. "So you deserve those 20 points off."

Harry glowered at her, but said nothing as he consumed the rest of his breakfast. After a few minutes, Ginny spoke from his left.

"You know, Harry, you could try talking out your differences with Snape…"

"Hah." Harry spat. "No way. Nothing with him, ever again."

Ginny looked hurt, and Harry felt an immediate pang of guilt. How could she ever feel for him if he was going to talk to her like that?

"Sorry…Ginny, I'm sorry." he said.

"'s okay." she said quietly.

Just then, the bell rang to begin the morning classes.

The Gryffindor students were gathered in the Defense Against The Dark Arts classroom, which was Sans Professor Powers at the moment.

"I hope he teaches us stuff like you taught us in D.A. last year," Neville Longbottom whispered to Harry. "I'm kind of rusty on Summoning charms and the Leg Locker curse."

"I'm sure he will." Harry said. "I have a good feeling about him."

Just then, the door swung open, and Professor Powers entered the room.

"Good morning everyone!" He said, bowing. "Welcome, to Defense Against The Dark Arts, sure to become the GROOVIEST class you'll have this year! Heh heh heh, yes… In this class, we'll learn about evil squares like You-Know-Who, we'll study curses and hexes, and, more importantly, how to defend against them, baby."

Hermione raised her hand.

"Yes, go ahead," Powers said.

"Er, are you aware of what we're up to in terms of studies?" she asked.

He cocked his head at her. "What's your name?"

She blushed. "Hermione. Hermione Granger."

He smiled. "Well, Miss Granger… shall we shag now, or shag later?"

Hermione blushed the same shade of scarlet as the Hogwarts Express.

"It's a joke!" Powers explained. "I'm just trying to get a laugh out of you! You know, for sh*ts and giggles!" He chuckled. "No, but seriously, I know exactly where you left off. Professor Dumbledore has told me all about Mister Harry Potter, there, in the back, and how he educated you all. And to Harry, let me just say: You've got some serious Mojo, man."

Harry slid down in his chair. "Um.. thank you."

"Now, let's begin, shall we?" Powers swished his wand in the air, and words were written on the chalkboard.

Defense Against the Dark Arts: Lesson 1

How To Block Strong Curses and Hexes

"This may seem like a major task," Powers said, "But it's really very simple. You just gotta have Mojo, yeah! Let me demonstrate how to do it. Mr. Longbottom… shall we?"

Neville winced. He wasn't used to being called up to do things in front of the class.

"Oh, come on, man, it's all right! You're not going to get hurt!" Powers encouraged him. Reluctantly, Neville joined him at the front of the room.

"This is for demonstration purposes, only." Powers informed the class. He turned jauntily to Neville. "I'm gonna make you angry, man." He raised his wand and shouted, "Infuriate!" Neville's features immediately contorted into unmistakable rage. He looked at Professor Powers in contempt, ready to kill him in a moment's notice. Nobody had ever seen Neville look this angry, and the class shifted uneasily.

"Don't be frightened," Powers told the class, noticing their uneasiness. "Just for the task. Nobody'll get hurt while Danger Powers is around. Yeah! Just had to make him mad so he can do what I want him to do." Despite this, Harry felt an immense sense of foreboding.

Powers turned to Neville. "You want to kill me, don't you?"

"Yes I do!" Neville snarled, and he lunged, but Powers held up his wand.

"Ah ah aah… not yet. Mr. Longbottom, I want you to perform the Cruciatus Curse on me."

Despite his rage, Neville took a step back.

"Go on, it's okay." Powers said.

Neville didn't hesitate again. He whipped his wand out, and with every intention of causing Powers unbearable pain, he roared "Crucio!!!"

A jet of brilliant, smoking red light burst forth from Neville's wand, but at the exact same time, Powers cried, "Mojo majora!" and was enveloped in a brilliant dome of yellow light. The Cruciatus Curse hit this barrier and bounced to the site, smashing a statue in the corner. The class gasped. Powers immediately turned on Neville and said, "Soothe!" Neville gave a deep breath, the anger left him at once, and he became very frightened as he realized what he had just done.

"Give him a round of applause, everyone!" Powers said. There was scattered clapping. "Mister Longbottom was very brave today, and for that, I give Gryffindor House twenty points! Go on, Neville, take a bow!"

Neville blushed, gave a slight jerk forward, and returned to his seat.

Harry raised his hand eagerly.

"Yes?" Powers said.

"Can this spell block Avada Kedavra?"

Powers' smile disappeared. "No… I'm afraid it can't. I'm sorry, but Avada Kedavra is unblockable."

The bell rang.

"Well, I'd just like to say that I very much looking forward to teaching you all this year!" Powers said in closing. "Especially if we've got brave ones like Mr. Longbottom. So until next class… Keep mojulating! Yeah, Baby!"