Missing Mojo

The next afternoon, they had a single Defense Against The Dark Arts lesson, and they were once again gathered in Professor Powers' classroom.

"Welcome back, class," Powers said. "Yesterday I showed you how having mojo can help block curses. So today we'll be testing YOUR mojo! I want you to form a line, and one by one, I'll see how mojulated you each are!"

Hermione was first.

"Are you my twin sister, baby?" Powers asked with a grin.

Neville followed.

"How come you don't have a girlfriend yet?"

Ginny was next.

"Ooh, you're SHAGADELIC, baby!"

Harry was after her.

"Hmm… let's see…" Powers prodded Harry carefully with his wand, and frowned. "This is heavy, man."

"What?" Harry asked.

"Well, in terms of Mojo, my friend… I'm afraid you have but a pinch."

Harry felt himself going red. Everybody else laughed, half making fun, half out of sympathy.

"Is there anything I can do about it?" Harry asked, mortified. How was he ever going to get Ginny to fall for him if he had no Mojo?

"Well, you gotta work up to your potential Mojo."

"How do I do that?"

"Well anybody with good Mojo can help you."

"But how…?"

The bell rang just then, and Powers immediately proceeded to dismiss the class.

Ginny stayed behind, because she had dropped her books on the floor, and after everyone else had left, she tugged on Harry's sleeve, and whispered in his ear, "I'll help you." and left.

Harry was stunned into silence the rest of the day.

Meanwhile, in the realm of the Dark Lord…

"Wormtail!!!"

"Y-y-yes sir?"

"Have we had any luck figuring out when the Society of Wizarding Fanfiction Authors is going to meet?"

Wormtail gulped. "N-no sir. They seem to have shrouded the whole affair in somewhat of an Invisiblity Cloak."

Voldemort's eyes narrowed. "Wormtail… come here."

Wormtail went trembling to his master.

"Did you just use a simile in front of me?"

"Y-y-y-es sir…"

"And do you know what the punishment is?"

Wormtail began to snivel.

Voldemort leaned back in his chair and smiled. "Now, let's see… let me pick out a good one… Ah yes! My partner Wormtail is just like a shriveled slug!"

In a flash of blue light, Wormtail transformed into a slimy, wrinkled, gelatinous mass. Voldemort put a time delay of resolution of an hour on him, and then turned to the Death Eaters who were standing by his side.

"We have to get into that conference," he said sternly. "My favorite author is going to be there, and I must get his autograph."

The Death Eaters looked at each other, and then Lucius Malfoy said, "My Lord, are you sure we've got our priorities straight?"

At the very sound of this question, Voldemort cast the Cruicatus Curse on Malfoy. "NEVER QUESTION MY PRIORITIES, SCUM!" He roared.

"My apologies, my apologies!" Lucius cried when the curse was lifted. "You are merciful, my lord!"

"Flattery will get you nowhere, you little sh*t. Now get out my sight."

"Yes master!"

Voldemort turned. "You two! Go do whatever you have to to find out when this conference is. If I don't meet Father Hulk I'm holding you two responsible."

"Yes my Lord."