The Story Finally Sees Some Action

Tommy raised his wand, and…. and…. and…!!! He conjured his autograph book! (Foghorn) (HA HA!)

"May I have your autograph, Father Hulk?"

Father Hulk seemed suspicious. "Why couldn't you wait until after the meeting?"

Tommy searched the air for words.. "Ummm… I have A.D.D."

"What?"

"A.D.D. I'd have forgotten by the time… Oh, hello Mrs. Norris!" Tommy bent down to pick up the cat. "Who's a good kitty? Yes you are! Yes you are!"

Father Hulk cleared his throat. "You were saying, Enigma?"

Tommy looked up. "Huh? Oh yeah, the autograph. Well, It'll only take a minute, so I was hoping you could do it now."

Father Hulk sighed. "Very well, let me get a quill…"

While Father Hulk's back was turned, two Death Eaters Apparated behind Tommy. One of them tapped him on the shoulder.

"What is it?" Voldemort hissed. "This is not a good time."

"Well, I just wanted to let you know that we came up with a brilliant plan." said Wormtail.

"What is it then?"

Lucius Malfoy spoke. "We realized that you can kill Harry Potter while you're here, as well as get that autograph!"

Voldemort looked at them like a cat looks at a mouse before killing it. "You came up with that just now? That's been my plan this whole time, you nincompoops! Get out of my sight!"

Lucius and Wormtail Disapparated just as Father Hulk turned back around. "Okay, here we go… to Tommy… Enigma, from… Father Hulk. There! Now can I PLEASE go back to the meeting?"

"Of course, of course! Thank you again!"

Voldemort smiled evily as Hulk went back inside. The night of the judging, he would have his revenge against Potter, and he'd secure ALL the autographs of the SWFA! Ah ha ha ha ha ha! Eee hee hee! ……..Wait, why am I laughing? I'm just the narrator… Hmm, weird. Okay, moving on…

The night of the judging came at last! It was to take place after a magnificent feast in the Great Hall.

"So what kind of story did you write?" Ron asked Harry as they ate.

"It's a surprise." said Harry.

"Did you write about me?" Ginny asked romantically.

"Maybe. Maybe not."

"Grr…"

Finally, the tables were cleared, and the raised area was cleared for the ceremony. Ivan Nuglybut took the podium.

"We will now judge the fanfiction written by the students at Hogwarts!"

Massive applause. Nobody noticed Voldemort and all his Death Eaters over in the corner, thanks to the new, improved Invisibility Quilt. But they clapped anyway.

They began in alphabetical order. There were stories about Dragonball Z, stories based on novels, and TV shows… there were lots of Anime stories… etc etc… Hermione wrote a story called Logic Problems: The novel. Here's a short excerpt.

"Who wants pizza?" Mr. Smith asked his children.

"Oh, me! Me! Me!"

"What would you like on it?" he asked.

The first child said, "I want pepperoni but no mushrooms."

The second child said, "I want mushrooms but no pepperoni."

The third child said, "I want mushrooms and pepperoni."

Mr. Smith scratched his head. "Gee, this is a tough one. Well, let's draw a pie chart and figure out how to divide this up." His brow furrowed. "This is a toughie." He began to sweat. "Okay, I've got it!"

Finally, it was time for Harry's story.

"This is a story," he began, "Where I kick Vol--… You know who's ass! I beat the crap out of him, and I kill him!"

Voldemort's blood began to boil… ooh, he could feel that avada kedavra itching to get out of his wand… he would kill him…

"Here we go." Harry continued. "There once was a scumbag called You Know Who…"

Professor Powers was listening to the story with interest, and just as he pulled out a hip flask to drink from, Voldemort and the Death Eaters threw off the Invisibility Quilt and charged forward, knocking Professor Powers aside, and shattering the hip flask.

"NOOOO!" He cried. "My Mojo!!!"

Voldemort strode right at Harry. "Time to die, little boy. AVADA KEDAVRA!"

"Mojo Majora!" Harry cried the same instant. The green light didn't kill him, but it knocked him back, and his wand flew across the floor. The students and staff were backed against the wall in utter horror.

"Let's see you try that again, fool," Voldemort sneered. He raised his wand again, but then a stunning spell hit him right in the back. Harry gasped to see Professor Powers coming forward, his wand raised.

"Harry, you run on." he said. "I'll take him. This time, it's personal."

Powers and Voldemort dueled all across the room. Powers jumped over statues and backflipped over tables, while Voldemort kept trying to curse him.

"You can't win," Powers said coldly. "If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine."

"Actually," said Nearly Headless Nick, who came in out of nowhere, "Once you die you are so weak that it's pathetic."

"Oh…" Powers scratched his head. "Right then. Then I must win!"

The duel continued and it looked like Powers was going to lose! (Oh no!)

Suddenly a voice echoed in from somewhere. "Fire the laser!"

Down from the astronomy tower came a brilliant red beam that struck Voldemort and surged through his icy cold veins and caused him to become powder and blow away on the wind. And then, just as in Zelda when you destroy the "ring leader" of a gang of enemies, the Death Eaters too vanished.

Professor Powers stood there, catching his breath, and then Dr. Evil walked in.

"Hey," Powers said, "I owe you one!"

Dr. Evil shrugged. "Actually I was aiming for you. But oh well."

The whole great hall applauded, and then the judging resumed. At long last, Ginny read her story.

(From the ending)

…and they finished their seven years at Hogwarts in each other's arms, and when they graduate, the girl will propose to Harry, and wrap her arms around him and kiss him. And they will live happily ever after to the end of their days. NOTE: This WILL be a true story."

She caught Harry's eye when she said this, and Harry winked at her. Ginny simply smiled.