A/N I haven't said a thank you for a while, so thank you all for your
lovely reviews!! They really help. I try and up date as quick as possible,
but there's a lot of competition for the computer in our house!
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Chapter 6
Dazed and Confused
"And for God's sake, while we're in there, let me do all the talking," said Xander as they entered the doctor's office.
Spike just looked at Xander and arched one eyebrow. They walked towards the receptionist's area, Spike feeling a little evil, tucked his arm in Xander's and smiled a sickly sweet adoring smile at Xander. Xander tried to pull away, several other couples were waiting for appointments, one or two of the women frowned at what they considered to be Xander's coldness towards his "wife".
"Go and sit down darling, I will talk to the receptionist," said Xander almost choking on the words.
Spike sat down next to a heavily pregnant woman and her husband, he smiled at them. They nodded and smiled back.
"So how far along are you?" asked the woman.
"About four and a half months," said Spike.
Xander turned around at the sound of Spike's voice; he hurriedly joined Spike in the next seat.
"You'll have to excuse my wife, her deep voice, her appearance, she used to be part of an English girls soccer team, they handed out the steroids like candy, and you can see the results," said Xander.
The woman's husband eyed Spike up and down.
"She looks all woman to me," he said
"Thank you, my husband is so ashamed of me, he only brings me out in public for my doctor's appointments," said Spike.
The pregnant woman and her husband frowned at Xander; twin looks of disgust on their faces. Spike was enjoying Xander's humiliation, watching him turn a bright red from embarrassment. Pay back time thought Spike; teach the whelp to take the piss out of him earlier.
"Some people just don't know how to treat a woman, especially in your condition," said the man.
"I know, he makes me stay home all day, while he's at that sweaty construction site, I just don't know how I bear it," said Spike.
"You're usually asleep all day hun," said Xander.
"See how he treats me, I'm having his baby and all he can do is put me down, didn't seem to mind my appearance when he was helping me make it," said Spike.
The man got up out of his seat.
"Looks like your husband needs a lesson in how to treat you," he said balling his fist.
The receptionist looked up.
"Mr & Mrs Lovejoy, the doctor will see you now," she said.
"Good luck little darlin' you're gonna need it," said the man sitting back down in his seat.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Spike you really are an utter bastard," said Xander as they walked up the corridor and stood out side the doctor's office.
"Just having a little fun with you that's all, don't get your bleedin' knickers in a twist," Spike grinned.
Xander raised a fist to Spike.
" You wouldn't hit a pregnant person, now would you Harris?" asked Spike.
The other couple from the reception entered the corridor, they glared at Xander and he quickly lowered his fist and put his hand behind his back. Spike knocked on the door to the doctor's office.
"Come in," said a voice from within.
"Just be careful what you say, don't fancy being a special on the six o'clock news," warned Xander.
"Don't worry poofta, I will be good, well as good as I am capable of," said Spike grinning wickedly.
They entered the doctor's office.
"Hello Mr Lovejoy, Mrs Lovejoy, do take a seat, Mrs Lovejoy if you could take that gown and get changed behind the screen please," said the doctor.
"Is this your first child?" asked the doctor.
"Yeah and my last," said Xander firmly.
Spike reappeared from behind the screen, wearing the short hospital gown. He was desperately trying to pull down the edges.
"Pink looks good on you darling," said Xander, feeling a little revenge of his own coming on.
He looked at Spike open mouthed as his gaze settled on his chest area; he'd belatedly noticed that one of Spike's fake breasts was askew. He made wild gestures behind the docs back, but Spike just frowned at him in puzzlement. Xander sighed and got up, he rearranged Spike's breasts just as the doctor turned around. The doctor looked at them frowning.
"Hmmm, my colleague warned me about you two, told me about your last visit here," said the doc.
Spike grinned at the fond memories that came flooding back, thinking about his encounter with Buffy on the examination room couch.
"Good times," said Spike.
Xander just looked at Spike in confusion.
"What?" he asked Spike.
Xander never got his answer.
"Just hop up on the table and we can have a look at what's going on in there," said the doc.
Spike grabbed the sheet off the back of the chair and arranged himself on the couch, he covered his lower region while the doctor was busy switching on the ultrasound. A fine sheen of sweat broke out on Xander's forehead, as he watched the doctor squeeze the gel all over Spike's stomach.
"You're very muscular, do you work out?" asked the doctor.
"Something like that," said Spike.
The doctor ran the instrument over Spike's abs.
"Good heartbeat, look the baby's moving around," said the doctor.
Spike looked at the little monitor, watching his and Buffy's baby, he could see it's little heart fluttering, he felt the tears well up and spill down his cheeks. He looked at Xander, surprised to see a suspicious wetness on his face.
"Xander?" asked Spike.
Xander quickly wiped his face.
"Must be dusty in here, my allergies are playing up again," said Xander gruffly.
"So do you want to know the sex of the baby?" asked the doctor.
"Yes," said Xander.
"No," said Spike firmly, he and Buffy hadn't come to a decision about that, and it was more than his unlife was worth to go behind her back.
"Wait a minute, there must be something wrong with this damn machine, I am only picking up the baby's heartbeat," said the Doctor.
He gave it a couple of hard bangs.
"Well that'll help," said Spike sarcastically, he shifted about uncomfortable on the hard couch.
Spike's sheet slipped below his hips. The doctor gaped at "him" open mouthed.
"What's going on here? What kind of sick game are you two playing? You, you're a man," spluttered the doctor.
"Time to split Spike, I think," said Xander.
He pulled Spike up from his lying down position.
"What about my dress?" asked Spike.
"In the words of your country men ,sod it!" Xander replied.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"They've been in there a long while, I hope everything is okay," said Buffy absentmindedly chewing on a nail.
"I'm sure they're fine," said Giles soothingly.
"Look here they are now," said Buffy.
"What on earth is Spike wearing, I thought the dress was bad enough," said Giles.
Both occupants of the car watched as Spike and Xander ran towards them, Buffy opened her door and Spike jumped in beside her, while Xander quickly got in the front passenger seat.
"Drive old man," ordered Spike.
Giles desperately tried to get some speed out of his old citron , and it chugged away into the night.
"So what happened in there?" asked Giles.
"Spike, he gave the game away, trust him to go commando," said Xander.
"You mean he started a fight?" asked Giles.
Buffy blushed.
"No, Xander means Spike isn't in the habit of wearing underwear," Buffy explained.
"Well I think the doc, might have noticed either way, I'm not called the big bad for nothing" said Spike
"Oh please, don't even go there," said Xander.
"I like the no underwear Spike, it's so much easier when we have sex," said Buffy.
"Why do I feel like Anya has a twin," asked Xander in despair.
"Blame Willow, I know I do," said Giles smiling at Xander.
Buffy looked at Spike, he was half lying across her lap.
"So everything is okay then?" She asked him.
"Father and baby are doing well, the baby is beautiful Buffy, I really envy you," said Spike.
Buffy heaved a sigh of relief. She looked at Spike sadly.
"I really miss carrying our child, it was my way of carrying a piece of you with me, and while he or she was there, I never felt alone," she said, tears starting to well up in her eyes.
"Hey pet, you never have to feel alone, I will never leave you, you know that right?" he asked her earnestly.
She stroked his cheek, suddenly smiling at his appearance. She pulled the black wig off him.
"That's better, you looked like Cher or Mortitia Adams in that," she smiled
"Thanks William," she said.
"What for?" he asked.
"For loving me, for being our child's father, and for being the wonderful man, I know you can be," she said.
Spike leaned forward and caught Buffy's lips in a tender kiss.
"Thank God we are nearly home, I think, I'm gonna be sick," Said Xander.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"So how did it go?" asked Joyce.
"Like a breeze," said Xander sarcastically as he plopped down on the sofa.
"What's with the change of outfit Spike, the other dress not go with your combat boots?" asked Oz.
"That's it all have your fun and games at my expense," snarled Spike.
Spike stormed off upstairs to change.
"Your grandchild is fine mom," said Buffy.
"How's my daughter doing?" asked Joyce.
"She's doing ok too, I guess," said Buffy.
Spike joined them downstairs a few minutes later.
"That's better, couldn't wait to get that bra off, sorry about your dress Joyce, we kinda had to leave in a hurry," apologised Spike.
"Never mind, as long as every one's okay, that's all that matters," Joyce replied.
"Anya didn't have any luck summoning Halfrek," said Willow.
Xander looked to where his girl was curled up in the chair, snoring gently.
"Guess I'd better get her home, it's been a long evening," said Xander fondly.
"So who's up for patrolling tonight?" asked Giles looking at the occupants of the room.
"Wouldn't mind a piece of that," said Spike.
"Oh no, Mister you're not going anywhere, but home in your condition," said Buffy firmly.
"Oh bugger, I forgot," said Spike.
"Look, I'll see Spike back to the crypt and go patrolling myself tonight, kinda been missing it," said Buffy.
"I'm big enough and bad enough to see myself home thank you," said Spike indignantly.
Buffy pulled him up off the sofa by his leather duster.
"No arguments, I'm not letting anything thing happen to you two," said Buffy.
"You're the boss," said Spike.
"And don't you forget it!" She said manoeuvring Spike out of the house.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Do you really have to go out tonight pet?" asked Spike.
"Now don't start with the puppy dog eyes Spike, you know I'm dying for a good slay," said Buffy.
She walked over to the weapons chest and extracted a cross bow and Mr Pointy. She made a few stabbing motions with it.
"Well why didn't you say love, wouldn't want you feeling neglected," he purred.
"I said SLAY, Spike not LAY," said Buffy.
Spike continued to advance on her, looking every inch the predator, even with the swollen belly.
"Spike, I know what you are trying to do it won't work," she said warningly.
"How do you know, I haven't done anything yet," he grinned.
Spike took the weapons out of her hands and placed them back in the chest. She sighed in defeat and put her arms around his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair.
"Maybe I do have half an hour to spare," she said in between kisses.
"Well we have to make sure everything is still in working order," he said looking down.
"Feels like everything is working just fine to me," she said pressing herself closer to him.
TBC
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Chapter 6
Dazed and Confused
"And for God's sake, while we're in there, let me do all the talking," said Xander as they entered the doctor's office.
Spike just looked at Xander and arched one eyebrow. They walked towards the receptionist's area, Spike feeling a little evil, tucked his arm in Xander's and smiled a sickly sweet adoring smile at Xander. Xander tried to pull away, several other couples were waiting for appointments, one or two of the women frowned at what they considered to be Xander's coldness towards his "wife".
"Go and sit down darling, I will talk to the receptionist," said Xander almost choking on the words.
Spike sat down next to a heavily pregnant woman and her husband, he smiled at them. They nodded and smiled back.
"So how far along are you?" asked the woman.
"About four and a half months," said Spike.
Xander turned around at the sound of Spike's voice; he hurriedly joined Spike in the next seat.
"You'll have to excuse my wife, her deep voice, her appearance, she used to be part of an English girls soccer team, they handed out the steroids like candy, and you can see the results," said Xander.
The woman's husband eyed Spike up and down.
"She looks all woman to me," he said
"Thank you, my husband is so ashamed of me, he only brings me out in public for my doctor's appointments," said Spike.
The pregnant woman and her husband frowned at Xander; twin looks of disgust on their faces. Spike was enjoying Xander's humiliation, watching him turn a bright red from embarrassment. Pay back time thought Spike; teach the whelp to take the piss out of him earlier.
"Some people just don't know how to treat a woman, especially in your condition," said the man.
"I know, he makes me stay home all day, while he's at that sweaty construction site, I just don't know how I bear it," said Spike.
"You're usually asleep all day hun," said Xander.
"See how he treats me, I'm having his baby and all he can do is put me down, didn't seem to mind my appearance when he was helping me make it," said Spike.
The man got up out of his seat.
"Looks like your husband needs a lesson in how to treat you," he said balling his fist.
The receptionist looked up.
"Mr & Mrs Lovejoy, the doctor will see you now," she said.
"Good luck little darlin' you're gonna need it," said the man sitting back down in his seat.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Spike you really are an utter bastard," said Xander as they walked up the corridor and stood out side the doctor's office.
"Just having a little fun with you that's all, don't get your bleedin' knickers in a twist," Spike grinned.
Xander raised a fist to Spike.
" You wouldn't hit a pregnant person, now would you Harris?" asked Spike.
The other couple from the reception entered the corridor, they glared at Xander and he quickly lowered his fist and put his hand behind his back. Spike knocked on the door to the doctor's office.
"Come in," said a voice from within.
"Just be careful what you say, don't fancy being a special on the six o'clock news," warned Xander.
"Don't worry poofta, I will be good, well as good as I am capable of," said Spike grinning wickedly.
They entered the doctor's office.
"Hello Mr Lovejoy, Mrs Lovejoy, do take a seat, Mrs Lovejoy if you could take that gown and get changed behind the screen please," said the doctor.
"Is this your first child?" asked the doctor.
"Yeah and my last," said Xander firmly.
Spike reappeared from behind the screen, wearing the short hospital gown. He was desperately trying to pull down the edges.
"Pink looks good on you darling," said Xander, feeling a little revenge of his own coming on.
He looked at Spike open mouthed as his gaze settled on his chest area; he'd belatedly noticed that one of Spike's fake breasts was askew. He made wild gestures behind the docs back, but Spike just frowned at him in puzzlement. Xander sighed and got up, he rearranged Spike's breasts just as the doctor turned around. The doctor looked at them frowning.
"Hmmm, my colleague warned me about you two, told me about your last visit here," said the doc.
Spike grinned at the fond memories that came flooding back, thinking about his encounter with Buffy on the examination room couch.
"Good times," said Spike.
Xander just looked at Spike in confusion.
"What?" he asked Spike.
Xander never got his answer.
"Just hop up on the table and we can have a look at what's going on in there," said the doc.
Spike grabbed the sheet off the back of the chair and arranged himself on the couch, he covered his lower region while the doctor was busy switching on the ultrasound. A fine sheen of sweat broke out on Xander's forehead, as he watched the doctor squeeze the gel all over Spike's stomach.
"You're very muscular, do you work out?" asked the doctor.
"Something like that," said Spike.
The doctor ran the instrument over Spike's abs.
"Good heartbeat, look the baby's moving around," said the doctor.
Spike looked at the little monitor, watching his and Buffy's baby, he could see it's little heart fluttering, he felt the tears well up and spill down his cheeks. He looked at Xander, surprised to see a suspicious wetness on his face.
"Xander?" asked Spike.
Xander quickly wiped his face.
"Must be dusty in here, my allergies are playing up again," said Xander gruffly.
"So do you want to know the sex of the baby?" asked the doctor.
"Yes," said Xander.
"No," said Spike firmly, he and Buffy hadn't come to a decision about that, and it was more than his unlife was worth to go behind her back.
"Wait a minute, there must be something wrong with this damn machine, I am only picking up the baby's heartbeat," said the Doctor.
He gave it a couple of hard bangs.
"Well that'll help," said Spike sarcastically, he shifted about uncomfortable on the hard couch.
Spike's sheet slipped below his hips. The doctor gaped at "him" open mouthed.
"What's going on here? What kind of sick game are you two playing? You, you're a man," spluttered the doctor.
"Time to split Spike, I think," said Xander.
He pulled Spike up from his lying down position.
"What about my dress?" asked Spike.
"In the words of your country men ,sod it!" Xander replied.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"They've been in there a long while, I hope everything is okay," said Buffy absentmindedly chewing on a nail.
"I'm sure they're fine," said Giles soothingly.
"Look here they are now," said Buffy.
"What on earth is Spike wearing, I thought the dress was bad enough," said Giles.
Both occupants of the car watched as Spike and Xander ran towards them, Buffy opened her door and Spike jumped in beside her, while Xander quickly got in the front passenger seat.
"Drive old man," ordered Spike.
Giles desperately tried to get some speed out of his old citron , and it chugged away into the night.
"So what happened in there?" asked Giles.
"Spike, he gave the game away, trust him to go commando," said Xander.
"You mean he started a fight?" asked Giles.
Buffy blushed.
"No, Xander means Spike isn't in the habit of wearing underwear," Buffy explained.
"Well I think the doc, might have noticed either way, I'm not called the big bad for nothing" said Spike
"Oh please, don't even go there," said Xander.
"I like the no underwear Spike, it's so much easier when we have sex," said Buffy.
"Why do I feel like Anya has a twin," asked Xander in despair.
"Blame Willow, I know I do," said Giles smiling at Xander.
Buffy looked at Spike, he was half lying across her lap.
"So everything is okay then?" She asked him.
"Father and baby are doing well, the baby is beautiful Buffy, I really envy you," said Spike.
Buffy heaved a sigh of relief. She looked at Spike sadly.
"I really miss carrying our child, it was my way of carrying a piece of you with me, and while he or she was there, I never felt alone," she said, tears starting to well up in her eyes.
"Hey pet, you never have to feel alone, I will never leave you, you know that right?" he asked her earnestly.
She stroked his cheek, suddenly smiling at his appearance. She pulled the black wig off him.
"That's better, you looked like Cher or Mortitia Adams in that," she smiled
"Thanks William," she said.
"What for?" he asked.
"For loving me, for being our child's father, and for being the wonderful man, I know you can be," she said.
Spike leaned forward and caught Buffy's lips in a tender kiss.
"Thank God we are nearly home, I think, I'm gonna be sick," Said Xander.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"So how did it go?" asked Joyce.
"Like a breeze," said Xander sarcastically as he plopped down on the sofa.
"What's with the change of outfit Spike, the other dress not go with your combat boots?" asked Oz.
"That's it all have your fun and games at my expense," snarled Spike.
Spike stormed off upstairs to change.
"Your grandchild is fine mom," said Buffy.
"How's my daughter doing?" asked Joyce.
"She's doing ok too, I guess," said Buffy.
Spike joined them downstairs a few minutes later.
"That's better, couldn't wait to get that bra off, sorry about your dress Joyce, we kinda had to leave in a hurry," apologised Spike.
"Never mind, as long as every one's okay, that's all that matters," Joyce replied.
"Anya didn't have any luck summoning Halfrek," said Willow.
Xander looked to where his girl was curled up in the chair, snoring gently.
"Guess I'd better get her home, it's been a long evening," said Xander fondly.
"So who's up for patrolling tonight?" asked Giles looking at the occupants of the room.
"Wouldn't mind a piece of that," said Spike.
"Oh no, Mister you're not going anywhere, but home in your condition," said Buffy firmly.
"Oh bugger, I forgot," said Spike.
"Look, I'll see Spike back to the crypt and go patrolling myself tonight, kinda been missing it," said Buffy.
"I'm big enough and bad enough to see myself home thank you," said Spike indignantly.
Buffy pulled him up off the sofa by his leather duster.
"No arguments, I'm not letting anything thing happen to you two," said Buffy.
"You're the boss," said Spike.
"And don't you forget it!" She said manoeuvring Spike out of the house.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Do you really have to go out tonight pet?" asked Spike.
"Now don't start with the puppy dog eyes Spike, you know I'm dying for a good slay," said Buffy.
She walked over to the weapons chest and extracted a cross bow and Mr Pointy. She made a few stabbing motions with it.
"Well why didn't you say love, wouldn't want you feeling neglected," he purred.
"I said SLAY, Spike not LAY," said Buffy.
Spike continued to advance on her, looking every inch the predator, even with the swollen belly.
"Spike, I know what you are trying to do it won't work," she said warningly.
"How do you know, I haven't done anything yet," he grinned.
Spike took the weapons out of her hands and placed them back in the chest. She sighed in defeat and put her arms around his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair.
"Maybe I do have half an hour to spare," she said in between kisses.
"Well we have to make sure everything is still in working order," he said looking down.
"Feels like everything is working just fine to me," she said pressing herself closer to him.
TBC