Do As I Say, Not as I Do
Chapter 7
"Well that was a little different," said Buffy, as she lay on the bed, propped up on one elbow.
"You can say that again, why didn't you tell me, being pregnant made you feel extra horney?" asked Spike
"I wasn't talking about that, I was talking about making love to a pregnant man," she smiled.
"Yeah, guess you could say it was kinda of a world's first," said Spike.
Buffy sat up in the bed; she leaned over and kissed her husband.
"Well William, hate to love you and leave you, but my slayer duties call, and I intend to get as much in as possible over the next seven days," said Buffy.
She got off the bed and quickly dressed, she looked over at Spike.
"Now stop with the pout, it won't work on me this time, be a good boy until I get back, there's plenty of blood in the fridge" said Buffy.
She gave him another quick kiss and disappeared up the ladder.
"Silly bint, she's dafter than I thought, if she thinks I am gonna stay put until she gets back," said Spike.
He sat up in bed, looking around for the shapeless sweat pants, he'd loaned from Giles.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"So you remembered where you work then Spike?" asked Willie.
"Fancy yourself a bit of a comedian to do you?" Spike replied
"What do you expect, you're only two hours late for work," said Willie.
"Well that couldn't be helped, got a problem with that?" asked Spike.
Spike slipped on his game face for good measure.
"No that's good Spike, barrels need changing," said Willie nervously.
"Sorry mate, can't do any heavy manual labour," said Spike.
Willie looked at Spike, confused.
"What's going on with your stomach?" asked Willie.
Spike pulled his shirt down self-consciously.
"Had a bit of a feeding frenzy, might have overdone it on the blood," said Spike.
"Human?" asked Willie.
"Wouldn't you like to know," grinned Spike wickedly.
Both Spike and Willie looked up as sounds could be heard coming from the alley outside, seconds later the doorman came sailing through the entrance, crashing to the floor unconscious, closely followed by a furious looking Buffy. She marched up to Spike and glared at him, her hands firmly on her hips.
"Slayer! Nice to see you, but could you make it a short visit, your presence tends to make the customers a little nervous," Said Willie.
"Don't worry, Spike and I won't be staying long," said Buffy, her eyes never leaving Spike's for a second.
"Now hang on slayer," said Willie.
Buffy interrupted the sweaty little man.
"In fact, don't expect him in for the rest of the week, he's taking a sickie," Said Buffy firmly.
She looked at Spike.
"Get your coat, we're leaving," said Buffy.
"What if I refuse?" asked Spike cockily.
Buffy got her stake out of her pocket.
"Wanna start an argument with Mr Pointy?" she asked.
"You're not gonna do anything to me," said Spike smugly.
Spike turned his back on her and started to remove empty glasses from a nearby table. Buffy put away the stake and walked up behind him, she spun him round and lifted him off the ground and flung him over her shoulder. His weight was not much more than a feather to her slayers strength.
"He'll be away for the rest of the week," said Buffy to Willie.
Loud raucous laughing rang through the bar, as the demons all laughed at the sight of Spike being marched off by his missus.
"She has really got you whipped Spike," shouted one.
"The slayer and her pet vampire," called another.
Once they had exited the bar, Buffy put Spike back down.
"Bleedin' hell Buffy what was that for? I am going to get the piss taken out of me something rotten, next time I show my face there," said Spike.
"You've said it yourself, Willie's bar can get dangerous, I followed you here, I knew if I left you alone, you'd be up to no good, besides, you've done it to me twice," said Buffy.
"I needed to make some money, if you haven't already noticed, we're not exactly living on Park Avenue," said Spike.
"And you're pregnant, if you haven't noticed," she replied.
"How could I forget, and who do I have to thank for that little miracle?" he asked.
"I was just trying to earn us some extra money too," said Buffy, clapping her hand over her mouth as she realised what she'd said.
Damn that truth demon she thought, no wonder they were considered such dangerous little critters, and judging by the look on Spikes face, it had just caused World War 3.
"So that's how you met that Hallie, through a job, doing what? Dare I ask," said Spike.
"I was only working at the college crèche, at least I wasn't serving blood and alcohol to dangerous demons," said Buffy defensively.
"It's not the same thing, I have to keep this job, in a few days you get the baby back, but I still have to provide for us after that," said Spike.
"I didn't think about it like that," she said.
"You never do, I'm sleeping at your mum's tonight, if you want me, you know where to find me," said Spike striding off angrily into the night.
"Spike," she called after him.
"Slayer," a voice said from behind.
Buffy turned, damn vampires, they do pick their moments she thought angrily, she sighed and turned.
"Ok, as a special favour to you, let's make this quick," she said.
The vampire lunged at her like a bull; she easily deflected his punches and planted the stake in his chest before he even knew what hit him, she looked around for her absent husband, but she could already sense that he was long gone.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Xander and Anya had just left; Joyce closed the front door and walked back into the lounge.
"Well Rupert alone at last, what shall we do?" asked Joyce.
Giles patted the empty space next to him, on the sofa.
"Come here and I'll show you," he smiled.
Joyce smiled back and started to walk over to him, her progress halted by the loud banging on the front door. Giles sighed and rolled his eyes.
"Do we never get a break?" asked Giles.
"I guess not," sighed Joyce, going to answer the door.
She opened it, to reveal a very sorry looking son-in-law.
"Spike! What are you doing here?" asked Joyce in confusion.
"Could you put me up for the night mum?" he asked.
"Don't tell me, you and Buffy have had a falling out?" asked Joyce, opening the door wider to let him in.
"Maybe," he answered sheepishly.
Spike looked at Giles.
"Still here then old mate? Hope I wasn't interrupting anything," asked Spike raising an eyebrow.
"Chance would be a fine thing," muttered Giles.
"Can I get you anything Spike?" asked Joyce.
"A mug of your famous hot chocolate and maybe some mini marshmallows?" asked Spike hopefully.
Joyce disappeared into the kitchen.
"I was hoping to catch up with you Spike, it's about what happened at the doctor's this evening, in light of what occurred I think it's best you and Buffy get another doctor, one used to dealing with unusual couples like yourselves," said Giles
"What do you mean?" asked Spike.
"I know an excellent doctor, she's half demon herself, so there wouldn't be any awkward questions," Giles replied.
"Yeah maybe you're right Rupes, that was a bit of a close one this evening, but if you could have seen the look on the doctor's face," said Spike laughing.
Giles tried to keep a straight face, but lost the battle, he chuckled at the word picture Spike had painted. Joyce came back in with the tray.
"What's so funny?" she asked secretly pleased to see her two favourite guys getting along so well.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Buffy wandered aimlessly among the tombstones. The slaying hadn't been as much fun as she'd thought, all she seemed to do these days was have arguments with Spike. Buffy was still feeling a little guilty over the vengeance demon thing, Spike could be as pig headed as most guys, but she knew he didn't deserve what had happened to him.
Now she'd had time to think about it, he must have been pretty humiliated by her high-handed behaviour at Willie's bar, especially in front of all those demons. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but no so much now, especially as she'd had time to think about it.
Buffy turned the corner, quickly hurrying home to their crypt, eager to apologise for earlier. She opened the door and was greeted by darkness and silence.
"Spike?" she called out.
No answer. Buffy walked into the room and lit a couple of candles. The upper chamber was empty, so she descended the ladder, thinking he must have gone to bed. She switched on a lamp, the soft glow revealed the bed, perfectly made, but empty. Buffy felt the anger start to boil up with in her. Fine if he wanted to be like that she wasn't going to go chasing after him, she got undressed for bed and got into it. She tossed and turned for several minutes, she sat up and thumped the pillows in frustration. She had to know Spike was safe, she got out of bed again and went to her jacket and took out her cell phone and dialled her mom's number.
"Hi mom, is Spike there?" she asked.
"Yes honey, he arrived here a couple of hours ago, do you want to talk to him?" asked her mom.
"No, just wanted to make sure he was ok, bye talk to you tomorrow," said Buffy.
She slipped the phone back in her jacket and got into her very big empty bed. There was no husband and no baby, a lone tear trickled down her face, she had never felt so alone in her whole life. She closed her eyes wishing for sleep to come. Her eyes flew open as she felt the left side of the bed depress.
"Spike, you came back, that was quick," she said in surprise.
"You know us Vamps, speedy little buggers when we want to be," he replied.
"I thought you were staying the night at mom's," said Buffy.
"Well I was, but the baby and I missed you," he smiled sadly at her.
"I missed you both too," said Buffy.
He looked at her seriously.
"Sorry about the job thing, it was my pride talking, if you really want the crèche job, go for it," said Spike.
Buffy sat up in the bed and hugged him.
"Sorry about the vengeance demon thingy, that was just my big mouth doing too much talking as usual," said Buffy tearfully.
"That's okay pet, I shall be a lot more understanding from now on, I came back because I couldn't bear the idea of spending one night away from you," he said.
"Yeah we've been together nearly eleven months now, it's been quite a ride," she said.
"Yes you've been quite a ride," said Spike mischievously.
Buffy elbowed him in the ribs.
"Hey watch out for the baby," said Spike.
"Oh that was no where near it," said Buffy.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Buffy smiled at Willow and Oz as they met in the corridor outside Walsh's class.
"Ready for another lesson in life from the evil bitch monster from hell?" asked Willow.
"Yeah maybe we need psyche help, for taking her class in the first place," said Buffy.
"You guys, she's not so bad, give her a chance," said oz.
"And you didn't hear how unsympathetic she was to you, when you decided to go A.W.O.L," said Buffy.
"Point taken," said Oz.
They entered the lecture room, and sat together. Professor Walsh entered a few minutes later, followed by a new teaching assistant, he looked vaguely familiar to Buffy, and realisation dawned on her that it was Riley's friends Forrest Gates. They had only spoken a few times; she had always got the distinct impression that Forrest wasn't too fond of her. His gaze was cold and analytical as it skimmed over the room.
The lesson passed without incidence, the students quickly shuffled out of class. Professor Walsh and Forrest were the only occupants of the room.
"I want Buffy Lovejoy observed at all times, she is carrying hostile 17's child, it could be of great importance to the mission, a link to the demon world, and a chance to breed a race of super beings for the government military programme, the genetic possibilities are endless." said Walsh emotionlessly.
"Yes ma'am, but are you sure she's pregnant? She didn't look so much so to me" said Forrest.
"Just have her watched, okay," said Professor Walsh as she gathered up her papers and exited the room.
TBC
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Thanks for the reviews; sorry if that chapter was maybe a little dark, I have had a bit of a dark week! Don't worry I may sometimes put Buffy & Spike through the mill, but I love both the characters and like to see them happy in the end. Amazingly enough I already know how the story is gonna end which is a first for me! So I have to work in plot etc, i.e. Angel's earlier warnings of danger.
Chapter 7
"Well that was a little different," said Buffy, as she lay on the bed, propped up on one elbow.
"You can say that again, why didn't you tell me, being pregnant made you feel extra horney?" asked Spike
"I wasn't talking about that, I was talking about making love to a pregnant man," she smiled.
"Yeah, guess you could say it was kinda of a world's first," said Spike.
Buffy sat up in the bed; she leaned over and kissed her husband.
"Well William, hate to love you and leave you, but my slayer duties call, and I intend to get as much in as possible over the next seven days," said Buffy.
She got off the bed and quickly dressed, she looked over at Spike.
"Now stop with the pout, it won't work on me this time, be a good boy until I get back, there's plenty of blood in the fridge" said Buffy.
She gave him another quick kiss and disappeared up the ladder.
"Silly bint, she's dafter than I thought, if she thinks I am gonna stay put until she gets back," said Spike.
He sat up in bed, looking around for the shapeless sweat pants, he'd loaned from Giles.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"So you remembered where you work then Spike?" asked Willie.
"Fancy yourself a bit of a comedian to do you?" Spike replied
"What do you expect, you're only two hours late for work," said Willie.
"Well that couldn't be helped, got a problem with that?" asked Spike.
Spike slipped on his game face for good measure.
"No that's good Spike, barrels need changing," said Willie nervously.
"Sorry mate, can't do any heavy manual labour," said Spike.
Willie looked at Spike, confused.
"What's going on with your stomach?" asked Willie.
Spike pulled his shirt down self-consciously.
"Had a bit of a feeding frenzy, might have overdone it on the blood," said Spike.
"Human?" asked Willie.
"Wouldn't you like to know," grinned Spike wickedly.
Both Spike and Willie looked up as sounds could be heard coming from the alley outside, seconds later the doorman came sailing through the entrance, crashing to the floor unconscious, closely followed by a furious looking Buffy. She marched up to Spike and glared at him, her hands firmly on her hips.
"Slayer! Nice to see you, but could you make it a short visit, your presence tends to make the customers a little nervous," Said Willie.
"Don't worry, Spike and I won't be staying long," said Buffy, her eyes never leaving Spike's for a second.
"Now hang on slayer," said Willie.
Buffy interrupted the sweaty little man.
"In fact, don't expect him in for the rest of the week, he's taking a sickie," Said Buffy firmly.
She looked at Spike.
"Get your coat, we're leaving," said Buffy.
"What if I refuse?" asked Spike cockily.
Buffy got her stake out of her pocket.
"Wanna start an argument with Mr Pointy?" she asked.
"You're not gonna do anything to me," said Spike smugly.
Spike turned his back on her and started to remove empty glasses from a nearby table. Buffy put away the stake and walked up behind him, she spun him round and lifted him off the ground and flung him over her shoulder. His weight was not much more than a feather to her slayers strength.
"He'll be away for the rest of the week," said Buffy to Willie.
Loud raucous laughing rang through the bar, as the demons all laughed at the sight of Spike being marched off by his missus.
"She has really got you whipped Spike," shouted one.
"The slayer and her pet vampire," called another.
Once they had exited the bar, Buffy put Spike back down.
"Bleedin' hell Buffy what was that for? I am going to get the piss taken out of me something rotten, next time I show my face there," said Spike.
"You've said it yourself, Willie's bar can get dangerous, I followed you here, I knew if I left you alone, you'd be up to no good, besides, you've done it to me twice," said Buffy.
"I needed to make some money, if you haven't already noticed, we're not exactly living on Park Avenue," said Spike.
"And you're pregnant, if you haven't noticed," she replied.
"How could I forget, and who do I have to thank for that little miracle?" he asked.
"I was just trying to earn us some extra money too," said Buffy, clapping her hand over her mouth as she realised what she'd said.
Damn that truth demon she thought, no wonder they were considered such dangerous little critters, and judging by the look on Spikes face, it had just caused World War 3.
"So that's how you met that Hallie, through a job, doing what? Dare I ask," said Spike.
"I was only working at the college crèche, at least I wasn't serving blood and alcohol to dangerous demons," said Buffy defensively.
"It's not the same thing, I have to keep this job, in a few days you get the baby back, but I still have to provide for us after that," said Spike.
"I didn't think about it like that," she said.
"You never do, I'm sleeping at your mum's tonight, if you want me, you know where to find me," said Spike striding off angrily into the night.
"Spike," she called after him.
"Slayer," a voice said from behind.
Buffy turned, damn vampires, they do pick their moments she thought angrily, she sighed and turned.
"Ok, as a special favour to you, let's make this quick," she said.
The vampire lunged at her like a bull; she easily deflected his punches and planted the stake in his chest before he even knew what hit him, she looked around for her absent husband, but she could already sense that he was long gone.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Xander and Anya had just left; Joyce closed the front door and walked back into the lounge.
"Well Rupert alone at last, what shall we do?" asked Joyce.
Giles patted the empty space next to him, on the sofa.
"Come here and I'll show you," he smiled.
Joyce smiled back and started to walk over to him, her progress halted by the loud banging on the front door. Giles sighed and rolled his eyes.
"Do we never get a break?" asked Giles.
"I guess not," sighed Joyce, going to answer the door.
She opened it, to reveal a very sorry looking son-in-law.
"Spike! What are you doing here?" asked Joyce in confusion.
"Could you put me up for the night mum?" he asked.
"Don't tell me, you and Buffy have had a falling out?" asked Joyce, opening the door wider to let him in.
"Maybe," he answered sheepishly.
Spike looked at Giles.
"Still here then old mate? Hope I wasn't interrupting anything," asked Spike raising an eyebrow.
"Chance would be a fine thing," muttered Giles.
"Can I get you anything Spike?" asked Joyce.
"A mug of your famous hot chocolate and maybe some mini marshmallows?" asked Spike hopefully.
Joyce disappeared into the kitchen.
"I was hoping to catch up with you Spike, it's about what happened at the doctor's this evening, in light of what occurred I think it's best you and Buffy get another doctor, one used to dealing with unusual couples like yourselves," said Giles
"What do you mean?" asked Spike.
"I know an excellent doctor, she's half demon herself, so there wouldn't be any awkward questions," Giles replied.
"Yeah maybe you're right Rupes, that was a bit of a close one this evening, but if you could have seen the look on the doctor's face," said Spike laughing.
Giles tried to keep a straight face, but lost the battle, he chuckled at the word picture Spike had painted. Joyce came back in with the tray.
"What's so funny?" she asked secretly pleased to see her two favourite guys getting along so well.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Buffy wandered aimlessly among the tombstones. The slaying hadn't been as much fun as she'd thought, all she seemed to do these days was have arguments with Spike. Buffy was still feeling a little guilty over the vengeance demon thing, Spike could be as pig headed as most guys, but she knew he didn't deserve what had happened to him.
Now she'd had time to think about it, he must have been pretty humiliated by her high-handed behaviour at Willie's bar, especially in front of all those demons. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but no so much now, especially as she'd had time to think about it.
Buffy turned the corner, quickly hurrying home to their crypt, eager to apologise for earlier. She opened the door and was greeted by darkness and silence.
"Spike?" she called out.
No answer. Buffy walked into the room and lit a couple of candles. The upper chamber was empty, so she descended the ladder, thinking he must have gone to bed. She switched on a lamp, the soft glow revealed the bed, perfectly made, but empty. Buffy felt the anger start to boil up with in her. Fine if he wanted to be like that she wasn't going to go chasing after him, she got undressed for bed and got into it. She tossed and turned for several minutes, she sat up and thumped the pillows in frustration. She had to know Spike was safe, she got out of bed again and went to her jacket and took out her cell phone and dialled her mom's number.
"Hi mom, is Spike there?" she asked.
"Yes honey, he arrived here a couple of hours ago, do you want to talk to him?" asked her mom.
"No, just wanted to make sure he was ok, bye talk to you tomorrow," said Buffy.
She slipped the phone back in her jacket and got into her very big empty bed. There was no husband and no baby, a lone tear trickled down her face, she had never felt so alone in her whole life. She closed her eyes wishing for sleep to come. Her eyes flew open as she felt the left side of the bed depress.
"Spike, you came back, that was quick," she said in surprise.
"You know us Vamps, speedy little buggers when we want to be," he replied.
"I thought you were staying the night at mom's," said Buffy.
"Well I was, but the baby and I missed you," he smiled sadly at her.
"I missed you both too," said Buffy.
He looked at her seriously.
"Sorry about the job thing, it was my pride talking, if you really want the crèche job, go for it," said Spike.
Buffy sat up in the bed and hugged him.
"Sorry about the vengeance demon thingy, that was just my big mouth doing too much talking as usual," said Buffy tearfully.
"That's okay pet, I shall be a lot more understanding from now on, I came back because I couldn't bear the idea of spending one night away from you," he said.
"Yeah we've been together nearly eleven months now, it's been quite a ride," she said.
"Yes you've been quite a ride," said Spike mischievously.
Buffy elbowed him in the ribs.
"Hey watch out for the baby," said Spike.
"Oh that was no where near it," said Buffy.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Buffy smiled at Willow and Oz as they met in the corridor outside Walsh's class.
"Ready for another lesson in life from the evil bitch monster from hell?" asked Willow.
"Yeah maybe we need psyche help, for taking her class in the first place," said Buffy.
"You guys, she's not so bad, give her a chance," said oz.
"And you didn't hear how unsympathetic she was to you, when you decided to go A.W.O.L," said Buffy.
"Point taken," said Oz.
They entered the lecture room, and sat together. Professor Walsh entered a few minutes later, followed by a new teaching assistant, he looked vaguely familiar to Buffy, and realisation dawned on her that it was Riley's friends Forrest Gates. They had only spoken a few times; she had always got the distinct impression that Forrest wasn't too fond of her. His gaze was cold and analytical as it skimmed over the room.
The lesson passed without incidence, the students quickly shuffled out of class. Professor Walsh and Forrest were the only occupants of the room.
"I want Buffy Lovejoy observed at all times, she is carrying hostile 17's child, it could be of great importance to the mission, a link to the demon world, and a chance to breed a race of super beings for the government military programme, the genetic possibilities are endless." said Walsh emotionlessly.
"Yes ma'am, but are you sure she's pregnant? She didn't look so much so to me" said Forrest.
"Just have her watched, okay," said Professor Walsh as she gathered up her papers and exited the room.
TBC
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Thanks for the reviews; sorry if that chapter was maybe a little dark, I have had a bit of a dark week! Don't worry I may sometimes put Buffy & Spike through the mill, but I love both the characters and like to see them happy in the end. Amazingly enough I already know how the story is gonna end which is a first for me! So I have to work in plot etc, i.e. Angel's earlier warnings of danger.