Chapter Five

Axes, privies, and mutant elephants

As soon as they were away, the dwarf erupted from his chains, grinning like a drugged Warg. Screaming, "In the name of Durin!" at the top of his lungs, he raced off, to the utter dismay of those around him.

Vikki had seen the whole scene from atop the second floor; she was clutching to Legolas' arm, laughing uncontrollably, not noticing the sour look on the elf's face. Faramir seemed to think it at least a little funny and was trying his hardest not to smirk. His brother, he knew, would tell him all about it later. He watched in interest as the dwarf began to ransack a nearby room, finding his ax, and waving it wildly about his head, began to chase the two policemen and the small skinny man around the base of the fountain. The tall grey-haired human in black merely clutched his megaphone and stood on the fountain's rim, watching for a good time to flee.

Mike and Nicky just shook their heads. Suddenly Nick grinned. Reaching into his backpack he drew out two swords, each from his personal collection, and handed one to Mike.

"You know, Nick," Mike observed, "I like the way you think."

Just then Jamie and Boromir came running up the stairs, panting. The man had found his sword though he'd had to wrestle it away from some little urchin in the process. He glowered at the other human, who he knew from the look on her face, had seen the whole thing. Seeing the look on Boromir's face, however, Legolas drew Vikki aside to calm her down. He had bent over slightly to repremand the teen when she grabbed onto the back of his head and kissed him passionately. The elf's eyes went wide and after a moment, pulling himself away from her embrace, found that she was giggling incoherently. Before he could get another word out, the girl fainted, a smile on her lips.

"Oh, that was very well done." Eomer smirked, coming up the stairs with the others behind him. "It is a good thing, I think, that you do not repremand people often."

The elf's scowl soon came to match that of Boromir's. Glancing at the new arrivals, he noticed something.

"Where is the other human? The one with the dark hair?"

"Aragorn?" Arwen asked. "Um, I don't know . . . he was right behind me!" she sounded worried.

Suddenly the clomp of boots were heard and the man in question came up the stairs. Aragorn looked toward the young highschoolers.

"I think you should see this."

With that the young ones followed the Ranger down the steps and towards the group's very familiar table. There, by the two soda machines sat the four hobbits. The stampede of students had trampled the machines, knocking one over. Some of the freshmen had then proceeded to pry it open, grabbing as many free sodas as they could carry. Moments later, when the hobbits had broken free of the bathroom, the four had chanced upon the find. They were now beheld by the humans in dismay, seeing as how they were all too sick to walk or even stand.

"I didn't know where you wanted to put them." Aragorn admitted. "I also did not think it wise to carry them up the stairs, seeing as how during the journey they would most likely vomit."

Mike shuddered at the thought of hobbit puke.

"Let's just bring them back to the bathroom very slowly. It's the only relatively safe place for th- oh my God . . ."

Mike was staring in shock at something in the direction of the courtyard.

"What? What is – holy crap! It's an olephaunt!" Jamie cried.

Sure enough, there in the parking lot were two olephaunts, loaded to the brim with orcs. The dean had long since passed out, falling into the fountain and had not even seen the creatures. Aragorn's eyes had gone wide.

"Quickly! Grab the halflings and get upstairs!"

The others immediately consented, Mike grabbing Merry, Jamie hoisting Frodo up into her arms, Nicky grabbing Pippen and Aragorn picking up a very frightened Sam. Together they leapt up the stairs, running as fast as they could to the bathroom.

The others were already crowded around in that alcove. They had all seen the olephaunts, Legolas had even tried to take a shot at them, but the beasts were out of range. Vikki had not recovered yet, to the elf's dismay, and so was being held in his arms as she slumbered. Eomer had shooed the women into the small privy along with the dwarf who he had captured while the others were getting the hobbits. Gimli had run full speed into a wall, apparently too drunk to notice the structure was there. He now rested, leaning against a wall, drooling.

Upon the arrival of the halflings, they, too, were put away with the women. Eowyn was threatening that she would come out freely or knock the door down. Boromir was about to shove Jamie inside along with Vikki, when she ducked out of his grip and ran down the hall. She knew where Gimli's other axes were hidden. Legolas laid Vikki in the bathroom, taking up guard on the olephaunts while Aragorn chased down the girl.

At first he didn't know where she went, but soon found her rummaging around in an old closet. Standing up she held four hand axes of varying lengths.

"Gimli's." she spoke at the look on his face. Aragorn was about to run back when she grabbed his arm.

"I'm not hiding in the bathroom, and I seriously doubt Eowyn is going to either. Vikki, if she wakes up, will never agree to it and I don't know about Arwen. Just promise me I don't have to hide in there."

Aragorn considered it. This was highly irregular! She looked determined, though, and she seemed to have a point about Eowyn.

"Alright." the two shook, now racing back to their friends.

Vikki was just waking up as the two reached the room, finding her and Eowyn screaming at Boromir to let them out of the bathroom.

"Let me out you stupid (unprintable curses) of Gondor!"

Eowyn and others had no clue what half the words meant but they got the idea. Boromir's face was a mask of confusion; the young man couldn't decide whether to frown or to laugh at the hysterical antics those inside the privies were performing. Upon Jamie and Aragorn's arrival the frown triumphed, the young man about to shoo the girl inside. Just then a group of renegade orcs leapt down on the group, two of them, killed instantly by Aragorn's blade, flung up against the door of the girl's bathroom, barring the others inside.

Vikki banged on the door and with the help of the others opened it a crack. The girl opened it just in time to see an orc sneak up from behind Legolas and attack him.The orcs converged in the elf, looking to conquer him by sheer numbers.

"Legolas!!!" she screamed, trying her hardest to open the door. Picking up her purse, which was far heavier then it should have been, she succeeded in whacking one of the orcs unconscious as it ran by. This done, she continued to try and free those trapped.

Meanwhile, Jamie had no idea what to do but had watched far too many Robin Hood movies not to have an idea of how to throw things. Picking up one of Gimli's smaller axes, the girl flung it so hard at one of the orcs that it split the creature's skull on impact. She was so surprised at her success that she did not see two other orcs come up behind her, grab her around the waist, and take her up to the roof where one of the olephaunts was waiting.

"HEEELLLPP!!! BOROMIR! ARAGORN!! HELP!" she cried insanely, the creatures flinging her up into the lofts of the olephaunts canopy. Boromir had heard the girl's plea and, rushing up to the roof, he stretched out a hand to pull her away. Jamie clutched to that hand, watched in horror as the fingers brushed hers and fell away . . .

It was the middle of the night Jamie and Vikki woke up with a start, sweating heavily, screaming. The two were shaking, Vikki having thrown back her sleeping bag, Jami having pushed the covers off her bed. Suddenly a light was thrown on and Jamie's parents were upstairs comforting the two. The girls were just blubbering, mumbling incoherently, whining and clutching the adults in front of them.

After they'd each had some icecream and a glass of water the two adults left them alone upstairs, walking back to their own beds to get some sleep. The two girls lay silently in their beds, staring up at the ceiling. They had but a few hours until they had to get up, they found out, since according to their parents today was a school day. Vikki sat up in her sleeping bag.

"Jamie." she began. The other girl sat up. Both looked frightened. "What day is it?"

The girl in bed quickly closed the door and flipped the light back on. Checking her watch she found that today was a Monday. Neither had any recollection of the past few days. All they could remember was the dreams, which at the time had seemed so real.

"Vik," Jamie began. "What were you screaming about?"

The girl sat back down on the floor.

"I dreamt all the Lord of the Rings characters came to our school and-"

The girl stopped at the look on her friend's face.

"What? What is is? Stop looking at me like that; I'm freaked out enough as it is."

Jamie was shaking.

"Were there olephaunts in this dream? Two attacking the school?"

"And hobbits and a dwarf getting drunk of Coca-cola?" Vikki continued catching on.

The two girls talked long into the morning.