Disclaimer: X-Men: Evolution, and all characters, logos, and such belong to Marvel Comics, and probably a few other nameless companies. The Blues Brothers Belongs to their respectable Owners.
*****
[Seated on the floor is Pyro, Perparing to burn a can of vasseline doused in gasoline. Behind him, Jean is helping Scott go over his lines, while Kitty and Lance bicker quietly. Somewhere, someone is playing an Evanescene CD. Fiora walks in, looking less wolfish but equally angry.]
Fiora: People! Places! Come on, we don't have all---AHHH!
[She dances back, her pant leg on fire after stepping to close to Pyro's fire.]
Fiora: DON'T JUST STAND THERE! PUT IT OUT, PUT IT OUT!
[Nobody moves, as she keeps dancing around, swatting at the fire. Slowly, they go back to what they were doing, while Fiora dances away, probably in search of water. Gambit walks in, wearing the suit.]
Gambit: Where's de director?
Jean: Who?
Gambit: De wolf girl. Fiona or somt'in'.
Jean: Oh, you mean the bitchy wolf girl, Fiora.
[Kitty suddenly storms off past then]
Pyro: Bitchy wolf girl's off putting out her leg
[Lance runs past them, calling for Kitty]
Gambit: Comment?
Scott: You don't wanna know
[Gambit sits down and begins to rehearse his lines. A while later, Fiora enters, with the help of Bobby, who has apparently incased her leg in a block of ice.]
Pyro: Ya want me to melt that for ya, mate?
Fiora: No, I want you to get on the Camera. Gambit, Scott, Places! Comeone People, lets go! WILL SOMEONE KILL THAT MUSIC!
[Evanescence music dies.]
Fiora: Action!
*****
[Scene is inside a police car, where Gambit and Scott both sit. Scott is driving, Gambit sits next to him. Neither have seat belts.]
Scott: This isn't very safe...
Gambit: get over it, Cyke.
[Scott glares]
Gambit: W'at de hell is dis?
Scott: [confused] What?
Gambit: De car! Dis stupid car! Where de Cat'llac? [Scott looks confused] De Caddy! Where's de Caddy!
Scott: What's a caddy? er... I mean The what?
Gambit: De ol' Cad'llac we used ta have! De...Dis is corny!
Fiora: [off Camera] Just Say it!
Gambit: [sighs] De X Mobile
Scott: I er...traded it.
Gambit: Ya traded de X Mobile for dis?
Scott: No. For a microphone...Who would trade a car for a microphone?
Gambit: Apparently ya would, mon ami. [clears throat] A microphone? Gambit can see dat, but what de hell is dis?
Scott: "Dis" was a bargain. I picked it up at the Mount Prospect City Police auction last spring. It's an old Mount Prospect Police Car. They were practically giving them away.
Gambit: well, t'ank you, Cyke. De day Gambit gets outta prision, his own brot'er picks him up in a Police car!
[Gambit pulls out the car's Cigarette lighter, Lights a cigarette, then throws the lighter out the window. Ahead, a fog horn warning is issues, as they come to a stop behind a line of cars waiting for a raising draw brige.]
Scott: You don't like it?
Gambit: De car or bein' your brot'er?
Scott: I don't like playing YOUR brother either
Gambit: Remy never said 'e didn't like bein' your brot'er. I'm hurt...
Pyro: [Off Camera] Look mate, ya went and made Gambit cry!
Jean: [Off Camera] How can you tell? He's wearing those ugly sunglasses...
Fiora: [Off Camera] STICK TO THE SCRIPT!
Scott: like I said, Stick up her a[Fiora is heard growling] I mean, You don't like it?
Gambit: Non, I don't
Pyro: [Off Camera] He used a pronoun! Gambit used a pronoun! I'm so proud
Magneto: [off camera] [sarcastically] Aren't we all
Fiora: [Off Camera] Pyro, can it!
Pyro:[Off Camera] Yes ma'am. Wait, aren't ya gonna tell Magneto to 'can it'?
Gambit: Dun t'ink chere wants to tick of de all powerful mutie, Johnny
[Magneto is heard snickering]
Fiora: [Off Camera] No, I really don't. I'd like to live to see this fan-fiction finished.
Gambit: Don't t'ink dats gonna happen...
Scott: [coughs] can we do this yet?
Fiora: Yes! Magento sir, you ready? Great! Ready, set, Go!
[Scott hits the gas, driving around the line of cars and up the draw bridge. A 'Whoam'-ing sound is heard, as Magneto uses his "all powerful"...powers...and makes to car jump over the drawbridge and land smoothly on the other side. Scott calmly keeps driving on.]
Gambit: Car has a lot o' pick-up...
Scott: It's got a cop motor of four hundred and forty cubic inch plant, it's got cop tires, cop suspension, cop shocks, it was a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas. Whaddya say? Is it the new X Mobile or what?
Gambit: Fix de cigarette lighter
*****
[Scene changes to the outside of a beaten down orphanage. Scott pulls to a stop]
Gambit: What are we doin' 'ere?
Scott: You Promised you'd visit the Penguin the day you got out...
Gambit: So what, Gambit lied to her.
Scott: You can't lie to a nun. We gotta go in and visit the Penguin.
Gambit: Merde
*****
[Scene changes to Gambit and Scott inside a beaten-down building. To their left is a hallway and a staircase leading downstairs. before them is a staircase leading upwards, with a door at the top.]
[Gambit and Scott stand in the open doorway, before starting up the stairs, leaving the door open. A quarter of the way up, the door creaks and slams shut by itself. Gambit and Scott both stop, look at the door, and then at each other, both visibly shaken, before continuing up the stairs.]
[They come to the door at the top, and Scott reaches up to knock, but before he does...]
Female Voice: Who is it?
Scott: Gambit and Scott
Female Voice: Come in.
[and so they do, leaving the door open behind them, and walking up to a desk. Camera pans to Storm, dressed as a giant penguin...actually, a nun; and a mean looking on at that. The door shuts by itself, causing Gambit and Scott to jump, and look at it, at each other, and then at Storm the Nun]
Storm the Nun: [sickly sweet voice] Hello, boys. Nice to see you. Please, have a seat.
[Scott and Gambit walk to the back of the office, by the door, and sit in too-small writing desks.]
Storm the Nun: Oh no boys, come over here in front of me. I want to see you...How the hell am I supposed to see their faces if they have those huge ugly sunglasses on?
Fiora: [Off Camera] Stupid worthless good for nothing mutants can't even [a 'Whoam'-ing sound is heard, along with Fiora screaming and the sound of her body hitting the wall.]
Magneto: [off Camera] Care to repeat that?
Fiora: [off camera] No Magneto sir, I'm sorry, I didn't mean [another thud as Fiora hits the ground]
[Storm the Nun ignores them, while Gambit and Scott fight back laughter. Pyro's insanish laughter is also heard]
Storm the Nun: Oh no boys, come over here in front of me. I want to see your faces.
[Scott and Gambit scoot their too-small writing desks loudly towards Storm the Nun's desk.]
Storm the Nun: The county took a tax assessment of this property last month. They want five thousand dollars.
Gambit: For dis peice of shit? On'y cost t'ree hundred fer de entire set, inc'udin' de cameras and lighin' and-
Fiora: [off Camera] Gambit, Shut Up!
[Gambit charges up a playing card and throws it at Fiora. Swearing is heard.]
Scott: Doesn't the Church have to pay that?
Storm the Nun: They would if they were interested in keeping the place, but they aren't. The Arch Bishop wants to sell this building outright to the board of Education.
Scott: What's gonna happen to you?
Storm the Nun: I'll be sent to the missions...
Gambit: Fo'get it! Five grand? no problem! we'll 'ave it for ya by mornining. Comeon Cyke, Let's go.
Storm: [stands up quickly, showing that the costume makes her look suprisingly fat] No! No! I will not take your filthy stolen money!
Gambit: Den I guess your really up de shit creek
[Storm hit's Gambit's hand with a ruler, he jerks it back and shakes it]
Storm: What did you say?
Gambit: Remy offered t' help you. You refused to take ou' money, den Remy said ``I guess you're really up de shit creek''.
[Storm hit's Gambit's hand again]
Scott: Christ, Rem', take it easy man!
Storm: Scott!
[Storm hits Scott over the head with ruler, and both boys swear. Storm hits them again and again, as they swear again and again.]
Scott: AH! You fat Penguin!
[Storm breaks the ruler over Scott's head, and grabs a sword as Gambit and Scott both swear, and starts beating them with that. Both boys fight to get out of their desks and to the door. They reach the door, which is magically open, with Gambit still trapped in the too-small writing desk. Still swearing, Both Scott and Gambit fall down the stairs. Camera pans to the door at the top of the stairs, where Storm stands looking godly-powerful, like Magneto does.]
Storm: You are such a disappointing pair. I prayed so hard for you. It saddens and hurts me that the two young men whom I raised to believe in the ten commandments have returned to me as two thieves, with filthy mouths and bad attitudes. Get out! And don't come back until you've redeemed yourselves.
[She disappears back into her office and the door mysteriously closes]
Gambit: [rubbing head] Did she 'ave to hit dat hard?
Fiora: [Groans off Camera] AND WE WERE STICKING TO THE SCRIPT SO WELL!
Scott: [Ignoring Fiora] I think that's gonna leave a mark.
[Wolverine appears in the hallway next to them, wearing dark sunglasses and a black suit.]
Wolverine: Boys, ye gotta learn not to talk to a nun that way. Gambit! Scott!
Gambit & Scott: Logan!
Gambit: Dun care how t' talk t' a nun, just care about how t' talk to Stormy so she dun hit 'em.
[Broken ruler peices fly down and hit Gambit on the head]
Wolverine: First of all, don't wall her 'Stormy'. Can I but you boys a drink?
Fiora: CUT!
*****
Gambit: Alcohol? We Get Alcohol?
Fiora: Next Scene
[Fiora is looking worse for wear. She still has ice clinging to her leg, a bad burn is now visable on her bear leg. Scorch marks from Remy's card are evident, and there is a dent in the wall where Magneto threw her]
Scott: But, aren't we too young to be drinking?
Gambit: [Glares] You'll shut up if you know whats good for ya, Cyke.
*****
So, what did you guys think? ^^
To Todd Fan: Thanks for the Review! Gald you like it ^^ Hope ya like this one two. By the by, Teacher Training? It's laugh my ass off funny! I LOVE it! ^^
Love & Insanity,
Fiora-da-Insane
Fiora_da_insane@hotmail.com
*****
[Seated on the floor is Pyro, Perparing to burn a can of vasseline doused in gasoline. Behind him, Jean is helping Scott go over his lines, while Kitty and Lance bicker quietly. Somewhere, someone is playing an Evanescene CD. Fiora walks in, looking less wolfish but equally angry.]
Fiora: People! Places! Come on, we don't have all---AHHH!
[She dances back, her pant leg on fire after stepping to close to Pyro's fire.]
Fiora: DON'T JUST STAND THERE! PUT IT OUT, PUT IT OUT!
[Nobody moves, as she keeps dancing around, swatting at the fire. Slowly, they go back to what they were doing, while Fiora dances away, probably in search of water. Gambit walks in, wearing the suit.]
Gambit: Where's de director?
Jean: Who?
Gambit: De wolf girl. Fiona or somt'in'.
Jean: Oh, you mean the bitchy wolf girl, Fiora.
[Kitty suddenly storms off past then]
Pyro: Bitchy wolf girl's off putting out her leg
[Lance runs past them, calling for Kitty]
Gambit: Comment?
Scott: You don't wanna know
[Gambit sits down and begins to rehearse his lines. A while later, Fiora enters, with the help of Bobby, who has apparently incased her leg in a block of ice.]
Pyro: Ya want me to melt that for ya, mate?
Fiora: No, I want you to get on the Camera. Gambit, Scott, Places! Comeone People, lets go! WILL SOMEONE KILL THAT MUSIC!
[Evanescence music dies.]
Fiora: Action!
*****
[Scene is inside a police car, where Gambit and Scott both sit. Scott is driving, Gambit sits next to him. Neither have seat belts.]
Scott: This isn't very safe...
Gambit: get over it, Cyke.
[Scott glares]
Gambit: W'at de hell is dis?
Scott: [confused] What?
Gambit: De car! Dis stupid car! Where de Cat'llac? [Scott looks confused] De Caddy! Where's de Caddy!
Scott: What's a caddy? er... I mean The what?
Gambit: De ol' Cad'llac we used ta have! De...Dis is corny!
Fiora: [off Camera] Just Say it!
Gambit: [sighs] De X Mobile
Scott: I er...traded it.
Gambit: Ya traded de X Mobile for dis?
Scott: No. For a microphone...Who would trade a car for a microphone?
Gambit: Apparently ya would, mon ami. [clears throat] A microphone? Gambit can see dat, but what de hell is dis?
Scott: "Dis" was a bargain. I picked it up at the Mount Prospect City Police auction last spring. It's an old Mount Prospect Police Car. They were practically giving them away.
Gambit: well, t'ank you, Cyke. De day Gambit gets outta prision, his own brot'er picks him up in a Police car!
[Gambit pulls out the car's Cigarette lighter, Lights a cigarette, then throws the lighter out the window. Ahead, a fog horn warning is issues, as they come to a stop behind a line of cars waiting for a raising draw brige.]
Scott: You don't like it?
Gambit: De car or bein' your brot'er?
Scott: I don't like playing YOUR brother either
Gambit: Remy never said 'e didn't like bein' your brot'er. I'm hurt...
Pyro: [Off Camera] Look mate, ya went and made Gambit cry!
Jean: [Off Camera] How can you tell? He's wearing those ugly sunglasses...
Fiora: [Off Camera] STICK TO THE SCRIPT!
Scott: like I said, Stick up her a[Fiora is heard growling] I mean, You don't like it?
Gambit: Non, I don't
Pyro: [Off Camera] He used a pronoun! Gambit used a pronoun! I'm so proud
Magneto: [off camera] [sarcastically] Aren't we all
Fiora: [Off Camera] Pyro, can it!
Pyro:[Off Camera] Yes ma'am. Wait, aren't ya gonna tell Magneto to 'can it'?
Gambit: Dun t'ink chere wants to tick of de all powerful mutie, Johnny
[Magneto is heard snickering]
Fiora: [Off Camera] No, I really don't. I'd like to live to see this fan-fiction finished.
Gambit: Don't t'ink dats gonna happen...
Scott: [coughs] can we do this yet?
Fiora: Yes! Magento sir, you ready? Great! Ready, set, Go!
[Scott hits the gas, driving around the line of cars and up the draw bridge. A 'Whoam'-ing sound is heard, as Magneto uses his "all powerful"...powers...and makes to car jump over the drawbridge and land smoothly on the other side. Scott calmly keeps driving on.]
Gambit: Car has a lot o' pick-up...
Scott: It's got a cop motor of four hundred and forty cubic inch plant, it's got cop tires, cop suspension, cop shocks, it was a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas. Whaddya say? Is it the new X Mobile or what?
Gambit: Fix de cigarette lighter
*****
[Scene changes to the outside of a beaten down orphanage. Scott pulls to a stop]
Gambit: What are we doin' 'ere?
Scott: You Promised you'd visit the Penguin the day you got out...
Gambit: So what, Gambit lied to her.
Scott: You can't lie to a nun. We gotta go in and visit the Penguin.
Gambit: Merde
*****
[Scene changes to Gambit and Scott inside a beaten-down building. To their left is a hallway and a staircase leading downstairs. before them is a staircase leading upwards, with a door at the top.]
[Gambit and Scott stand in the open doorway, before starting up the stairs, leaving the door open. A quarter of the way up, the door creaks and slams shut by itself. Gambit and Scott both stop, look at the door, and then at each other, both visibly shaken, before continuing up the stairs.]
[They come to the door at the top, and Scott reaches up to knock, but before he does...]
Female Voice: Who is it?
Scott: Gambit and Scott
Female Voice: Come in.
[and so they do, leaving the door open behind them, and walking up to a desk. Camera pans to Storm, dressed as a giant penguin...actually, a nun; and a mean looking on at that. The door shuts by itself, causing Gambit and Scott to jump, and look at it, at each other, and then at Storm the Nun]
Storm the Nun: [sickly sweet voice] Hello, boys. Nice to see you. Please, have a seat.
[Scott and Gambit walk to the back of the office, by the door, and sit in too-small writing desks.]
Storm the Nun: Oh no boys, come over here in front of me. I want to see you...How the hell am I supposed to see their faces if they have those huge ugly sunglasses on?
Fiora: [Off Camera] Stupid worthless good for nothing mutants can't even [a 'Whoam'-ing sound is heard, along with Fiora screaming and the sound of her body hitting the wall.]
Magneto: [off Camera] Care to repeat that?
Fiora: [off camera] No Magneto sir, I'm sorry, I didn't mean [another thud as Fiora hits the ground]
[Storm the Nun ignores them, while Gambit and Scott fight back laughter. Pyro's insanish laughter is also heard]
Storm the Nun: Oh no boys, come over here in front of me. I want to see your faces.
[Scott and Gambit scoot their too-small writing desks loudly towards Storm the Nun's desk.]
Storm the Nun: The county took a tax assessment of this property last month. They want five thousand dollars.
Gambit: For dis peice of shit? On'y cost t'ree hundred fer de entire set, inc'udin' de cameras and lighin' and-
Fiora: [off Camera] Gambit, Shut Up!
[Gambit charges up a playing card and throws it at Fiora. Swearing is heard.]
Scott: Doesn't the Church have to pay that?
Storm the Nun: They would if they were interested in keeping the place, but they aren't. The Arch Bishop wants to sell this building outright to the board of Education.
Scott: What's gonna happen to you?
Storm the Nun: I'll be sent to the missions...
Gambit: Fo'get it! Five grand? no problem! we'll 'ave it for ya by mornining. Comeon Cyke, Let's go.
Storm: [stands up quickly, showing that the costume makes her look suprisingly fat] No! No! I will not take your filthy stolen money!
Gambit: Den I guess your really up de shit creek
[Storm hit's Gambit's hand with a ruler, he jerks it back and shakes it]
Storm: What did you say?
Gambit: Remy offered t' help you. You refused to take ou' money, den Remy said ``I guess you're really up de shit creek''.
[Storm hit's Gambit's hand again]
Scott: Christ, Rem', take it easy man!
Storm: Scott!
[Storm hits Scott over the head with ruler, and both boys swear. Storm hits them again and again, as they swear again and again.]
Scott: AH! You fat Penguin!
[Storm breaks the ruler over Scott's head, and grabs a sword as Gambit and Scott both swear, and starts beating them with that. Both boys fight to get out of their desks and to the door. They reach the door, which is magically open, with Gambit still trapped in the too-small writing desk. Still swearing, Both Scott and Gambit fall down the stairs. Camera pans to the door at the top of the stairs, where Storm stands looking godly-powerful, like Magneto does.]
Storm: You are such a disappointing pair. I prayed so hard for you. It saddens and hurts me that the two young men whom I raised to believe in the ten commandments have returned to me as two thieves, with filthy mouths and bad attitudes. Get out! And don't come back until you've redeemed yourselves.
[She disappears back into her office and the door mysteriously closes]
Gambit: [rubbing head] Did she 'ave to hit dat hard?
Fiora: [Groans off Camera] AND WE WERE STICKING TO THE SCRIPT SO WELL!
Scott: [Ignoring Fiora] I think that's gonna leave a mark.
[Wolverine appears in the hallway next to them, wearing dark sunglasses and a black suit.]
Wolverine: Boys, ye gotta learn not to talk to a nun that way. Gambit! Scott!
Gambit & Scott: Logan!
Gambit: Dun care how t' talk t' a nun, just care about how t' talk to Stormy so she dun hit 'em.
[Broken ruler peices fly down and hit Gambit on the head]
Wolverine: First of all, don't wall her 'Stormy'. Can I but you boys a drink?
Fiora: CUT!
*****
Gambit: Alcohol? We Get Alcohol?
Fiora: Next Scene
[Fiora is looking worse for wear. She still has ice clinging to her leg, a bad burn is now visable on her bear leg. Scorch marks from Remy's card are evident, and there is a dent in the wall where Magneto threw her]
Scott: But, aren't we too young to be drinking?
Gambit: [Glares] You'll shut up if you know whats good for ya, Cyke.
*****
So, what did you guys think? ^^
To Todd Fan: Thanks for the Review! Gald you like it ^^ Hope ya like this one two. By the by, Teacher Training? It's laugh my ass off funny! I LOVE it! ^^
Love & Insanity,
Fiora-da-Insane
Fiora_da_insane@hotmail.com