Meanwhile, at the Sendai Hill Shrine, Lita was standing outside, using her most coaxing tone of voice. "But Rei, I'm your friend!" she pleaded. A vase went flying through the air, whacking her in the head.
"No!" came Rei's hysterical voice from inside, "You're out to get me! I know it! Everyone without huge, fake mustaches is out to get me!" Another vase was hurled at Lita, who ducked this time.
Crouching behind a shrub, Lita reached into her pocket and pulled out a fake mustache she kept there for emergencies. She put it on and carefully poked her head inside the shrine. There stood Rei, wild-eyed, holding an incense burner over her head, ready to throw.
"Come on Rei..." Lita said coaxingly, "Give me the incense burner..."
(White Wave Dancer: You just put that in there to annoy me, didn't you?
CryingChild: Yes. Yes I did. Now stop interrupting the fic!
White Wave Dancer: NEVER!)
Rei peered at Lita suspiciously. After much consideration, she decided that Lita's mustache was huge enough and fake enough to grant her entry. Slowly, she lowered the burner. A look of calm came onto her face and she sat down. She was every bit her normal self now, and anyone walking in now would notice nothing unusual. (Except Lita's mustache, of course.)
"Now," Rei began, "what seems to be the trouble?"
Lita looked at her, bewildered. She walked over to Rei, licked her thumb and rubbed it on her forehead.
"Hey!" Rei's face scrunched up. "What's this all about?"
"I thought you might be covering a Black Moon emblem with foundation. Listen, something is very wrong here. Some of the- " she coughed, "OTHER Senshi are acting very strange. And there's an angry mob following me."
"An angry mob? Are you sure they don't just want an autograph?"
"Not unless they expect me to sign it with torches and pitchforks."
"Hmm..." Rei turned away and looked contemplative. "Tell me, Lita... were any of them wearing huge, fake mustaches?"
Lita paused long enough to allow her brain to leap out of her ear and run away. "No... not that I know of."
"Ah-HA!" the former crazed look crept into Rei's eyes. Lita cringed. "I knew it! They're all in it together! All of them! Even the Black Moon! No one in the Black Moon wears huge, fake mustaches! Well, except that one guy, but... I knew it!" She grabbed Lita by the shoulders. "Lita, right now you're the only man I can trust!"
"What?! Man?! I mean uh... because of the mustache?"
"Yes! Listen, we've got to stop them! Let's go!" she started out the door.
"Wait! Where are we going?"
"To stop them! Haven't you been listening?" she ran.
"Stop who? What? Stop! Wait! Wear a sweater! Look both ways before crossing the streeeeeeeeeeeeet!" Panting, she ran after Rei.
* * *
Meanwhile meanwhile, there was... Wait, what Senshi am I up to? Oh yeah, Bunny. So, Bunny was walking to the house of her boyfriend, Chibaba Mamu, and...
(Wave: Whoa! WHOA! You forgot his name again, didn't you?
CC: No I didn't! It's Chibi Mamamu!
Wave: Chiba Mamoru!
CC: Chica Mommy-moo!
Wave: CHIBA MAMORU!
CC: Chibi Mamories!
Wave: THAT MEANS SMALL BREASTS!!!
CC: Whoa, suddenly it's the Misery Senshi Neo-Zero Double Blitzkrieg Debacle!
Wave: And what did I tell you about obscure references!?!
CC: Use them as often as possible?
Wave: Oh yeah. Carry on...)
So anyway, Bunny was walking over to DARIAN'S house, when she was visited by the insanity fairy, and-
(Wave: Okay, that does it. I mean, "Insanity Fairy?!" Can you say "Plot Contrivance?" I knew you could.
CC: For the last time, stop interrupting my fic! *Sobs* This is my first Sailor Moon fic and you're RUINING it!
Wave: Not until you find a less-stupid premise for Bunny to go insane on.
CC: Fine!)
"Oh, pretty!" Bunny said, gazing upwards at the piano being lifted over her head.
(Wave: I hate you.)
"Gee, Billy-Bob, it surrre is a nice day to be liftin' this piano up to the tenth floor using a flimsy piece of twine!"
"I agree, Willy-Bob!"
(Wave: ...And what kind of Japanese names are those?!?!)
"Say, watch out, Billy-Bob-San, there appears to be someone walking beneath our piano!"
"You don't say?" Billy-Bob-San looked down at Bunny. From his angle, he was able to see directly down her shirt, and Billy-Bob-San's brain was awash with hormones. His palms began to sweat, and the rope slipped out of his hand. The grand piano fell ten stories onto Bunny, who, being animated, was not killed.
Darian, who'd witnessed the spectacle from his house ran up to Bunny, lying semi-conscious on the sidewalk.
"Buns! Are you okay?" He asked, panicked.
"Ooh, such pretty colors." Bunny said. Darien relaxed a little, being used to that sort of thing coming out of Bunny's mouth.
"Are you okay?" he asked, still a little worried. "Can I get you anything?"
Bunny looked at him oddly for a minute. "Maybe some anchovies and syrup." She said, "And don't skimp, I'm eating for two now!"
Darien's eyes bugged out. "What?! Are you sick or something?"
"I'm not sick, silly, I'm pregnant! Silly Darien!"
"But... you're not supposed to be pregnant for another thousand years!"
"Silly, silly Darien!"
"Buns, you simply CAN'T be pregnant with our baby yet!"
"Oh, silly Darien, it's not YOUR baby!"
"WHAT!??!"
(Wave: So Bunny thinks she's pregnant? Geez, you really are running out of ideas.
CC: SILENCE!)
Meanwhile, Michuru was just regaining consciousness in the hospital. Haruka, Hotaru and Chibi Chibi were walking into her room, just as her eyes opened. The first thing she saw was Haruka's face, and it cheered her to know that Haruka had been by her side. However, something was dreadfully wrong with Haruka's expression. It registered... shock. And a hint of nausea. What could possibly be wrong?
"What's the matter?"
"NOTHING! Nothing. You look good, GOOD. Whoo boy, totally normal-looking, that's you!"
Then the world exploded. The end.
(White Wave Dancer: You're just ending it now?! Like THAT!? What about Rei going after-
CryingChild: Blown up.
White Wave Dancer: What about Mercur-
CryingChild: Blown up. So was Richard Nixon/Michuru.
White Wave Dancer: Why!?
CryingChild: Wave, I started this parody to make you laugh. I finished it so that it could FINALLY END THE BORING HELL IT'S PUT ME THROUGH. I've taken care of both now. And now I'm off to fight crime. Skiya!)
"No!" came Rei's hysterical voice from inside, "You're out to get me! I know it! Everyone without huge, fake mustaches is out to get me!" Another vase was hurled at Lita, who ducked this time.
Crouching behind a shrub, Lita reached into her pocket and pulled out a fake mustache she kept there for emergencies. She put it on and carefully poked her head inside the shrine. There stood Rei, wild-eyed, holding an incense burner over her head, ready to throw.
"Come on Rei..." Lita said coaxingly, "Give me the incense burner..."
(White Wave Dancer: You just put that in there to annoy me, didn't you?
CryingChild: Yes. Yes I did. Now stop interrupting the fic!
White Wave Dancer: NEVER!)
Rei peered at Lita suspiciously. After much consideration, she decided that Lita's mustache was huge enough and fake enough to grant her entry. Slowly, she lowered the burner. A look of calm came onto her face and she sat down. She was every bit her normal self now, and anyone walking in now would notice nothing unusual. (Except Lita's mustache, of course.)
"Now," Rei began, "what seems to be the trouble?"
Lita looked at her, bewildered. She walked over to Rei, licked her thumb and rubbed it on her forehead.
"Hey!" Rei's face scrunched up. "What's this all about?"
"I thought you might be covering a Black Moon emblem with foundation. Listen, something is very wrong here. Some of the- " she coughed, "OTHER Senshi are acting very strange. And there's an angry mob following me."
"An angry mob? Are you sure they don't just want an autograph?"
"Not unless they expect me to sign it with torches and pitchforks."
"Hmm..." Rei turned away and looked contemplative. "Tell me, Lita... were any of them wearing huge, fake mustaches?"
Lita paused long enough to allow her brain to leap out of her ear and run away. "No... not that I know of."
"Ah-HA!" the former crazed look crept into Rei's eyes. Lita cringed. "I knew it! They're all in it together! All of them! Even the Black Moon! No one in the Black Moon wears huge, fake mustaches! Well, except that one guy, but... I knew it!" She grabbed Lita by the shoulders. "Lita, right now you're the only man I can trust!"
"What?! Man?! I mean uh... because of the mustache?"
"Yes! Listen, we've got to stop them! Let's go!" she started out the door.
"Wait! Where are we going?"
"To stop them! Haven't you been listening?" she ran.
"Stop who? What? Stop! Wait! Wear a sweater! Look both ways before crossing the streeeeeeeeeeeeet!" Panting, she ran after Rei.
* * *
Meanwhile meanwhile, there was... Wait, what Senshi am I up to? Oh yeah, Bunny. So, Bunny was walking to the house of her boyfriend, Chibaba Mamu, and...
(Wave: Whoa! WHOA! You forgot his name again, didn't you?
CC: No I didn't! It's Chibi Mamamu!
Wave: Chiba Mamoru!
CC: Chica Mommy-moo!
Wave: CHIBA MAMORU!
CC: Chibi Mamories!
Wave: THAT MEANS SMALL BREASTS!!!
CC: Whoa, suddenly it's the Misery Senshi Neo-Zero Double Blitzkrieg Debacle!
Wave: And what did I tell you about obscure references!?!
CC: Use them as often as possible?
Wave: Oh yeah. Carry on...)
So anyway, Bunny was walking over to DARIAN'S house, when she was visited by the insanity fairy, and-
(Wave: Okay, that does it. I mean, "Insanity Fairy?!" Can you say "Plot Contrivance?" I knew you could.
CC: For the last time, stop interrupting my fic! *Sobs* This is my first Sailor Moon fic and you're RUINING it!
Wave: Not until you find a less-stupid premise for Bunny to go insane on.
CC: Fine!)
"Oh, pretty!" Bunny said, gazing upwards at the piano being lifted over her head.
(Wave: I hate you.)
"Gee, Billy-Bob, it surrre is a nice day to be liftin' this piano up to the tenth floor using a flimsy piece of twine!"
"I agree, Willy-Bob!"
(Wave: ...And what kind of Japanese names are those?!?!)
"Say, watch out, Billy-Bob-San, there appears to be someone walking beneath our piano!"
"You don't say?" Billy-Bob-San looked down at Bunny. From his angle, he was able to see directly down her shirt, and Billy-Bob-San's brain was awash with hormones. His palms began to sweat, and the rope slipped out of his hand. The grand piano fell ten stories onto Bunny, who, being animated, was not killed.
Darian, who'd witnessed the spectacle from his house ran up to Bunny, lying semi-conscious on the sidewalk.
"Buns! Are you okay?" He asked, panicked.
"Ooh, such pretty colors." Bunny said. Darien relaxed a little, being used to that sort of thing coming out of Bunny's mouth.
"Are you okay?" he asked, still a little worried. "Can I get you anything?"
Bunny looked at him oddly for a minute. "Maybe some anchovies and syrup." She said, "And don't skimp, I'm eating for two now!"
Darien's eyes bugged out. "What?! Are you sick or something?"
"I'm not sick, silly, I'm pregnant! Silly Darien!"
"But... you're not supposed to be pregnant for another thousand years!"
"Silly, silly Darien!"
"Buns, you simply CAN'T be pregnant with our baby yet!"
"Oh, silly Darien, it's not YOUR baby!"
"WHAT!??!"
(Wave: So Bunny thinks she's pregnant? Geez, you really are running out of ideas.
CC: SILENCE!)
Meanwhile, Michuru was just regaining consciousness in the hospital. Haruka, Hotaru and Chibi Chibi were walking into her room, just as her eyes opened. The first thing she saw was Haruka's face, and it cheered her to know that Haruka had been by her side. However, something was dreadfully wrong with Haruka's expression. It registered... shock. And a hint of nausea. What could possibly be wrong?
"What's the matter?"
"NOTHING! Nothing. You look good, GOOD. Whoo boy, totally normal-looking, that's you!"
Then the world exploded. The end.
(White Wave Dancer: You're just ending it now?! Like THAT!? What about Rei going after-
CryingChild: Blown up.
White Wave Dancer: What about Mercur-
CryingChild: Blown up. So was Richard Nixon/Michuru.
White Wave Dancer: Why!?
CryingChild: Wave, I started this parody to make you laugh. I finished it so that it could FINALLY END THE BORING HELL IT'S PUT ME THROUGH. I've taken care of both now. And now I'm off to fight crime. Skiya!)