Disclaimer: X-Men: Evolution, and all characters, logos, and such belong to Marvel Comics, and probably a few other nameless companies. The Blues Brothers Belongs to their respectable Owners.
*****
[Gambit, Fiora, Scott, Wolverine, Hank, Pyro, Amara, and Kurt sit in a circle around a table, each holding cards in their hands. In the center of the table is a stack of cards, and before everyone except Fiora is two or four cards.]
Scott: [glares around the table, even though no one can tell due to the glasses] Uh...Fiora, do you have an eight?
Fiora: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
[everyone stares]
Pyro: How many times do we gotta tell ya, It's "Go Fish."
Fiora: [bangs head on table] I'll never get the hang of this.
Wolverine: Don't matter, the viewers are here. [motions toward a handful of random people standing around.]
Fiora: [jumps up] Oh! Hi! hehe, Okay then, everyone, get in your places!
Gambit: aww, but Remy was winning...
Hank: I suppose winning and cheating are synonyms to you?
Gambit: Gambit wasn't cheatin'!
Fiora [slaps head] Riight Gambit. Places People, comeon! And let's Try to stick with the script this time!
Amara: [Whispering] I think you're right, Scott, She's gotta stick up her-
Kurt: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO SING?!?
Fiora: [covers his mouth] Shut it, you're revealing the plot!
*****
[Scene is inside a run-down kitchen, where Wolverine, Scott, and Gambit sit around a table with a bottle of Burbon in the center. Each had a shot glass of the alcohol in front of him.]
Wolverine: Boys, things are bad. They're gonna sell this place to the board of education and I'll be out on the street. That money's gotta be in the Cook County Assessors office within eleven days.
Gambit: Dey wouldn't turn an ol' badger out, would dey?
[Wolverine Growls]
Fiora: [Off Camera] Gambit, Logan, SCRIPT please!
Wolverine: [Sigh] Shit. What's one more old mutant to the board of education?
Scott: Wolverine, you and the penguin are the the only family we got. And you're the only one that was ever good to us. Singing Elmore James tunes and blowing the harp for us down here. Whatever that ment.
Gambit: Dunno w'at dat met either, homee. Wolverine?
Wolveine: Nope
Fiora: [Off Camera] Does the word SCRIPT ring a bell?
Gambit: Non
Scott: Nope
Wolverine: Can't help ya, squirt.
Fiora: [off camera] They're all out to kill me...
Pyro: [off camera] Right luv
Wolverine: [galnces at script and downs his Burbon, then pours himself more] Well the sister was right, you boys could use a little churching up. Slide on down to the Triple Rock and catch Reverend Wanger. You boys listen to what he's got to say.
Gambit: Wolvie, Remy don' wanna listen t' no jive ass preacher talking to him abou' heaven and hell. An' by 'him' I mean me...
Wolverine: Gumbo, ya get wise! [points at him with an extended claw] Ya get to church!
*****
[scene changes to the "X mobile"- ]
Gambit: [coughCorny[cough]
[-*Ahem* Pulling in front of a large white church that has "Triple Rock Church" written on it. As the X Mobile is parked, we see various mutants and mutant families walking into the chruch. Scene switches to Scott and Gambit standing in the back of a mutant-filled church. Camera turns to an AFROED Beast standing in front of a podium.]
Beast: And now, this weeks sermon is from our beloved; the Reverend Kurt Wanger.
[Scott and Gambit exchange glances as Kurt stands up from a chair behind Beast, and walks up to the Podium, wearing red robe things. Behind him we see random mutants with Guitars, a drum set, and other musical instruments.]
Reverend Wanger: And now people. [Cheering] And now people. [Cheering] Ven I voke up zis morning, [Cheering] I heard a disturbing sound. [Cheering] I said, ven I voke up zis morning [Cheering] I heard a disturbing sound. [Cheering] Vat I heard was the jingle-jangle of a zousand lost souls. [Cheering, Gambit checks his watch] And I'm talking about ze souls of all the men and vomen, [Cheering] departed from zis life. [Cheering] Wait a minute, [Cheering] the Lord sayz [Cheering] the soulz of us here on earth is [Cheering] secret of divine life [Cheering] zey'll not find [Cheering] Because it's too late... [Cheering] too late YEAH [Cheering] too late for zem to ever zee again [Cheering] ze light zey once chose not to follow [Cheering] don't be lost when the time comes [Cheering] For the day of the Lord cometh [Cheering] out of deep in the night [Cheering] YEEEAAAHHH!
[Cheering]
[band starts playing, and Kurt & the choir start singing, along with all the mutants in the church, although the singing can't be heard over the band, and neither can Fiora's yelling for the band to quite down. Random mutants get up and start dancing, then sit down as a hoard of girls wearing their sunday best start dancing around, amoung them Tabitha, Kitty, Rouge, and Pietro in a dress. They sit down, and the men get up and dance, amoung them Magneto, Sabertooth, Toad, and Pietro in a suit.]
[Gambit starts to shake, as if he's about to go into a sezier]
Scott: Gambit? Remy? Are you all right?
[a ray of sunlight shines through a window behing Reverend Wanger, and hits Gambit, encompusing him in a blue glow.]
Gambit: Dis is corny...de Band! [Louder] De Band!
Reverend Wanger: Ja, it is. Er..I mean do you see ze light?
Gambit: [Louder] De Band!
Reverend Wanger: Do you see the light?
Scott: [confused] what light?
Reverend Wanger: HAVE you seen the LIGHT!?!
Gambit: Oui, Oui! Jesus H. god damned bastard Christ, I have seen de light!
[Gambit Does a Cartwheel, then Backflips down the Isle to join his fellow mutants in dancing at the front of the room, while the band continues to play and everone sings. He than does a Cartwheel and backflips back to Scott, finishing with a Cartwheel, then grabbing Scott's shoulders and shaking him]
Gambit: De Band, Scotty, De Band!
Scott: De Band? er....The band? [realizes] the band. The band? The band!
Reverend Wanger: Praise God!
Scott: And God bless the Unted States of America!
Reverend Wanger: [singing] Amen. Amen.
[Scott dances down the isle and joins the mutants in the front dancing, then dances back to Gambit and the two dance next to each other.]
[Pietro dancing]
[Todd jumping up and touching the roof]
[Magneto and Sabertooth dancing together]
[Evan Break dancing]
[Scott and Gambit Dancing]
[Xavier standing up and dancing ]
[Kurt Moonwalking]
[Pyro and Fiora Waltzing]
[Tabitha dancing in a circle]
[Kitty running away from Lance]
[Wanda, dresses in blue, doing backflips]
[Singing stops, music stops, Pyro and Fiora scamper back to their places, Xavier collapses into his wheel chair]
Fiora: CUT!
*****
Gambit: Dat was corny
Pyro: I'd have to agree with ya, mate.
Evan: But it was fun, man!
Kurt: [hoarsly] vater...please...
[Jean randomly appears, grabs Scott, and drags him away]
Fiora: ...right...uh...Until Next Time, remember; Men in Wheelchairs can't dance.
[Everyone stares at her]
Fiora: What? Oh yeah, please review
[Everyone continues to stare]
*****
Love & Insanity,
Fiora-da-insane
*****
[Gambit, Fiora, Scott, Wolverine, Hank, Pyro, Amara, and Kurt sit in a circle around a table, each holding cards in their hands. In the center of the table is a stack of cards, and before everyone except Fiora is two or four cards.]
Scott: [glares around the table, even though no one can tell due to the glasses] Uh...Fiora, do you have an eight?
Fiora: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
[everyone stares]
Pyro: How many times do we gotta tell ya, It's "Go Fish."
Fiora: [bangs head on table] I'll never get the hang of this.
Wolverine: Don't matter, the viewers are here. [motions toward a handful of random people standing around.]
Fiora: [jumps up] Oh! Hi! hehe, Okay then, everyone, get in your places!
Gambit: aww, but Remy was winning...
Hank: I suppose winning and cheating are synonyms to you?
Gambit: Gambit wasn't cheatin'!
Fiora [slaps head] Riight Gambit. Places People, comeon! And let's Try to stick with the script this time!
Amara: [Whispering] I think you're right, Scott, She's gotta stick up her-
Kurt: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO SING?!?
Fiora: [covers his mouth] Shut it, you're revealing the plot!
*****
[Scene is inside a run-down kitchen, where Wolverine, Scott, and Gambit sit around a table with a bottle of Burbon in the center. Each had a shot glass of the alcohol in front of him.]
Wolverine: Boys, things are bad. They're gonna sell this place to the board of education and I'll be out on the street. That money's gotta be in the Cook County Assessors office within eleven days.
Gambit: Dey wouldn't turn an ol' badger out, would dey?
[Wolverine Growls]
Fiora: [Off Camera] Gambit, Logan, SCRIPT please!
Wolverine: [Sigh] Shit. What's one more old mutant to the board of education?
Scott: Wolverine, you and the penguin are the the only family we got. And you're the only one that was ever good to us. Singing Elmore James tunes and blowing the harp for us down here. Whatever that ment.
Gambit: Dunno w'at dat met either, homee. Wolverine?
Wolveine: Nope
Fiora: [Off Camera] Does the word SCRIPT ring a bell?
Gambit: Non
Scott: Nope
Wolverine: Can't help ya, squirt.
Fiora: [off camera] They're all out to kill me...
Pyro: [off camera] Right luv
Wolverine: [galnces at script and downs his Burbon, then pours himself more] Well the sister was right, you boys could use a little churching up. Slide on down to the Triple Rock and catch Reverend Wanger. You boys listen to what he's got to say.
Gambit: Wolvie, Remy don' wanna listen t' no jive ass preacher talking to him abou' heaven and hell. An' by 'him' I mean me...
Wolverine: Gumbo, ya get wise! [points at him with an extended claw] Ya get to church!
*****
[scene changes to the "X mobile"- ]
Gambit: [coughCorny[cough]
[-*Ahem* Pulling in front of a large white church that has "Triple Rock Church" written on it. As the X Mobile is parked, we see various mutants and mutant families walking into the chruch. Scene switches to Scott and Gambit standing in the back of a mutant-filled church. Camera turns to an AFROED Beast standing in front of a podium.]
Beast: And now, this weeks sermon is from our beloved; the Reverend Kurt Wanger.
[Scott and Gambit exchange glances as Kurt stands up from a chair behind Beast, and walks up to the Podium, wearing red robe things. Behind him we see random mutants with Guitars, a drum set, and other musical instruments.]
Reverend Wanger: And now people. [Cheering] And now people. [Cheering] Ven I voke up zis morning, [Cheering] I heard a disturbing sound. [Cheering] I said, ven I voke up zis morning [Cheering] I heard a disturbing sound. [Cheering] Vat I heard was the jingle-jangle of a zousand lost souls. [Cheering, Gambit checks his watch] And I'm talking about ze souls of all the men and vomen, [Cheering] departed from zis life. [Cheering] Wait a minute, [Cheering] the Lord sayz [Cheering] the soulz of us here on earth is [Cheering] secret of divine life [Cheering] zey'll not find [Cheering] Because it's too late... [Cheering] too late YEAH [Cheering] too late for zem to ever zee again [Cheering] ze light zey once chose not to follow [Cheering] don't be lost when the time comes [Cheering] For the day of the Lord cometh [Cheering] out of deep in the night [Cheering] YEEEAAAHHH!
[Cheering]
[band starts playing, and Kurt & the choir start singing, along with all the mutants in the church, although the singing can't be heard over the band, and neither can Fiora's yelling for the band to quite down. Random mutants get up and start dancing, then sit down as a hoard of girls wearing their sunday best start dancing around, amoung them Tabitha, Kitty, Rouge, and Pietro in a dress. They sit down, and the men get up and dance, amoung them Magneto, Sabertooth, Toad, and Pietro in a suit.]
[Gambit starts to shake, as if he's about to go into a sezier]
Scott: Gambit? Remy? Are you all right?
[a ray of sunlight shines through a window behing Reverend Wanger, and hits Gambit, encompusing him in a blue glow.]
Gambit: Dis is corny...de Band! [Louder] De Band!
Reverend Wanger: Ja, it is. Er..I mean do you see ze light?
Gambit: [Louder] De Band!
Reverend Wanger: Do you see the light?
Scott: [confused] what light?
Reverend Wanger: HAVE you seen the LIGHT!?!
Gambit: Oui, Oui! Jesus H. god damned bastard Christ, I have seen de light!
[Gambit Does a Cartwheel, then Backflips down the Isle to join his fellow mutants in dancing at the front of the room, while the band continues to play and everone sings. He than does a Cartwheel and backflips back to Scott, finishing with a Cartwheel, then grabbing Scott's shoulders and shaking him]
Gambit: De Band, Scotty, De Band!
Scott: De Band? er....The band? [realizes] the band. The band? The band!
Reverend Wanger: Praise God!
Scott: And God bless the Unted States of America!
Reverend Wanger: [singing] Amen. Amen.
[Scott dances down the isle and joins the mutants in the front dancing, then dances back to Gambit and the two dance next to each other.]
[Pietro dancing]
[Todd jumping up and touching the roof]
[Magneto and Sabertooth dancing together]
[Evan Break dancing]
[Scott and Gambit Dancing]
[Xavier standing up and dancing ]
[Kurt Moonwalking]
[Pyro and Fiora Waltzing]
[Tabitha dancing in a circle]
[Kitty running away from Lance]
[Wanda, dresses in blue, doing backflips]
[Singing stops, music stops, Pyro and Fiora scamper back to their places, Xavier collapses into his wheel chair]
Fiora: CUT!
*****
Gambit: Dat was corny
Pyro: I'd have to agree with ya, mate.
Evan: But it was fun, man!
Kurt: [hoarsly] vater...please...
[Jean randomly appears, grabs Scott, and drags him away]
Fiora: ...right...uh...Until Next Time, remember; Men in Wheelchairs can't dance.
[Everyone stares at her]
Fiora: What? Oh yeah, please review
[Everyone continues to stare]
*****
Love & Insanity,
Fiora-da-insane