Standard Disclaimers apply
*****
[Unsurprisingly, random characters from X-men: Evolution are gathered around. Forge is working on a CD player, Jean and Scott are going over lines, Gambit's flirting with Jubilation and Rouge, both of which keep brushing him off, although Jubes is blushing and giggling. Kurt is collapsed in a chair next to Pyro, who is playing with fire. Fiora walks in, looking very tried and very pissed off.]
Fiora: PEOPLE! LISTEN UP!
Gambit: Dun see no people here, chere, just us mutants.
[Fiora's eye twitches, but before she can do anything, Jean-Luc appears from nowhere and slaps him upside the head]
Gambit: Merde! Papa, what was dat for?
Jean-Luc: Bein' a smart ass.
Fiora: Thank you Mr. Lebeau. Anyway, as I was saying, I want to get through this as quickly as possible today, and I want us to stick to the script! This isn't an easy scene, so don't make it any harder than it has to be. All right? Good. PLACES! And Forge, can you take the camera's today?
Forge: Sure!
Fiora: Thanks you. Okay, ACTION!
*****
[Scene is in the X mobile, Scott's driving. It's night. They still have on their suits, black sunglasses, and black hats, along with their broken watches. "Soothe Me" plays in the background]
(Maybe I should wander
Through these streets a little longer)
Gambit: We put de band back toget'er, do a few gigs, we get some bread, Bang! Five t'ousand bucks.
Jean-Luc: [off stage] Bread? Haven't heard dat term ina long time!
(Hey New York City
Won't you welcome me back home? )
Scott: Yeah, well, getting the band back together might not be that easy.
Gambit: What're you talkin' 'bout?
(And darling I love you
But I swear that I'll be gone
By the time you figure out what you want )
Scott: They split, they all took straight jobs.
Gambit: Yeah, so? Ya know where dey are. Ya said you were gonna keep in touch with dem
(Maybe I should wander
Through my solitude a little longer )
Scott: I got a coupla leads, a few phone numbers, but I mean, how many of them visited; or even wrote you, huh?
Gambit: dere not de kinda guys who write letters. You were outside, Remy was inside, you were s'posed to keep in touch with de band. Remy kept asking you if we were gonna play again.
(Turn your head now sailor
Well I used to be so much stronger
How in the hell did I get here?
In this city so alone )
Scott: [turns the radio off] Well what was I gonna do? Take away you're only hope? Take away the very thing that kept you going in there? I took the liberty of bullshitting you, okay?
Gambit: Ya lied to Remy...
Scott: It wasn't lies, it was just bullshit.
Gambit: Never t'ought I'd hear ya say Bullshit twice in de same day
Kurt: [off stage] ja, let alone within one hour
[Fiora is heard growling off camera]
[Scott drives through a yellow traffic light, and a police car is seen pulling out from a donut shop]
Scott: Shit!
Gambit: Should I get ya a change of pants, mon ami?
Scott: Very funny
Fiora:[off camera] GAMBIT, SAY YOUR LINE!
Gambit: All right, What? What are ya shitin' 'bout?
[random giggling off camera]
Gambit: What?
Scott: Rollers.
Gambit: Non.
Scott: Yeah.
Gambit: Shit.
[Evan Daniels (Spyke) is seen directing Scott to pull over, which he does. Evan and his partner, Ray Crisp (Bezerker), both exit the car. Ray stays next to the vehicle, while Evan walks up to the X Mobile, with the drivers side window down, and shines a flashlight in, letting it rest on Gambit's face, shining into his eyes through the side of the sun glasses. Gambit's lip twitches, as if resisting the urge to say something. Evan switches the flashlight off, and stares at Scott.]
Scott: [innocently] What? What did I do?
Officer Daniels: You failed to stop at a red signal.
Scott: The light was yellow sir.
Officer Daniels: May I see your license please?
[Scott gives it to him, and Officer Daniels takes it to the squad car]
Gambit: Goddamnit!
Scott: Man I haven't been pulled over in six months. [pause] I bet those cops have got SCMODS.
Gambit: SCMODS?
Scott: State. County. Municipal. Offender. Data. System.
[Scene switches to the SCMODS screen, which reads:
(X, Scott
Illinois License: 8263-1655-2187
Currently Under Suspension
Warrant Outstanding: PARKG-116
Moving Violations: 56
Arrest Driver....Impound Vehicle)]
Officer Crisp: Mmm-hmm
[The two officers return to Gambit and Scott's car]
Officer Daniels: Scott, we show your license currently under suspension. Step out of the car please.
[Scott looks as if he's going to get out, but then glances over at Gambit, and starts the car and drives off. Officer Crisp and Officer Daniels jump into the squad car and follow]
*****
Gambit: First ya trade de Cad'llac for a microphone, den you lie to Remy about de band, now you're gonna put Remy right back in da joint.
Scott: They're not gonna catch us. We're on a mission from God.
Gambit: [Growls] Scott
Officer Crisp: [into CB] We are in high speed pursuit northbound on Cropland Avenue. Black and white 1974 Dodge sedan with Illinois plates. Request assistance.
[Scott turns into a parking lot. Officers pursue.]
Scott: It would be all right if we could just get back on the expressway.
[Camera shows a TOYS'R'US store, the X-Mobile drives past, follows closely by Officer Daniels car, and a back-up car. They swerve through the full parking lot.]
Gambit: Dis don't look like no expressway to me!
Scott: Don't yell at me.
Gambit: What de hell do ya wan' me to do, motorhead?
Scott: Well try not to be so negative all the time, why don't you offer some constructive criticism.
Gambit: You got us inta dis parking lot, pal, so you get us out.
Scott: You want outta this parking lot? Okay.
[camera shifts to the Inside of the TOYS'R'Us store, where we see Sabertooth dressed as a female cashier.]
Sabertooth: Will there be anything else?
[camera shows Magneto holding up a Kurmet the frog doll (Shopping for his kids?) ]
Magneto: Yes, do you have a Miss Piggy?
[Scott crashes the car into the store, and drives through racks of toys, sending customers scampering. Officer Daniels then crashes his car through the wall next to Scott's hole, knocking down his own. The back up car follows. The drive out of TOYS'R'US and into the mall]
Gambit: Hanson Burgers.
Scott: Yeah. Lots of space in this mall.
[Backup cops crashes through a garden shop]
Gambit: Disco dancing hair cuts. What de hell is a Disco dancing hair cut?
Scott: I don't wanna know [Swerves into a Clothing store]
Scott: Baby clothes.
Gambit: dis place has got everyt'ing.
[Scott crashes into an Oldsmobile dealership]
Scott: New Oldsmobiles are in early this year.
[Scott pulls out, and drives through the mall with the back up behind them, and Officers Daniels and Crisp pulling up the rear. Gambit rolls down his window, and tosses a charged card at the Backup. The Camera switches to the Back-up Officers, who we now see are Jean Grey Driving and Pyro in the passenger seat.]
Jean: Oh Shit!
[The card blows up the tire, and sends the backup squad car on it's roof, causing it to spin around, with Jean and Pyro covering their eyes.]
Scott: Gambit! Jean's in there!
Gambit: De'll be fine.
Scott: How do you know?
Gambit: Gambit's psychic
Scott: Psychic my ass. I swear, if you hurt her...
Gambit: Can it and drive
[Just when The backup car is about to stop spinning, Officer Daniels hits the back, and sends it spinning again.]
Pyro: Damnit! They broke my Flame-thrower!
Jean: Why do you have your flame-thrower ?
Pyro: Cuz ya never know when your gonna need to burn something
[Evan crashes the car into a shelf in JC Penny, stopping it. Scott and Gambit drive out of the mall and back onto the road, happy as clams]
Officer Crisp: I'm gonna catch that sucker, if it's the last thing I ever do!
Peter Gunn song plays
Forge: CUT!
*****
[Fiora sits asleep in her directors chair, and Kurt is perched next to her on a table.]
Kurt: Ve here at the "X-Brothers" would like to thank our reviewers, by replying to their reviews! [Pull out a peice of paper] First of all is VladimirsAngel! I, Personally, would like to thank for the water, I really needed it. Thanks for the compliment on my Preaching! I've always wanted to be a preist...
Jean: And we're really glad you think it's funny, although Kitty running away from Lance is not funny. They are having serious problems with their relationship, and I'm sure they wouldn't-
[Kitty and Lance walk in, holding hands]
Jean: Or I could be wrong...
[Jean walks off, probably to nose into their personal life...]
Forge: [Grabs the peice of paper from Kurt] Next is Laureate. IN answer to you queastion, Yes, I have soon the light! The Holy Spirit HAS Seized my soul and made me dance!
Gambit: Ya sure dat wasn't de drugs?
[Forge glares, while Todd swipes the paper from him.]
Todd: Yo, next up is...i_luv_elfie_bois? You one of her [jerks thumb at Fiora] readers at LEPBS? [shrugs] anyway, you'll start mettin' the band members soon, though I dunno how Fiora's gonna get them to agree...Anyway, thanks for ya review!
*****
Love & Insanity,
Fiora-da-insane
Fiora_da_insane@hotmail.com
*****
[Unsurprisingly, random characters from X-men: Evolution are gathered around. Forge is working on a CD player, Jean and Scott are going over lines, Gambit's flirting with Jubilation and Rouge, both of which keep brushing him off, although Jubes is blushing and giggling. Kurt is collapsed in a chair next to Pyro, who is playing with fire. Fiora walks in, looking very tried and very pissed off.]
Fiora: PEOPLE! LISTEN UP!
Gambit: Dun see no people here, chere, just us mutants.
[Fiora's eye twitches, but before she can do anything, Jean-Luc appears from nowhere and slaps him upside the head]
Gambit: Merde! Papa, what was dat for?
Jean-Luc: Bein' a smart ass.
Fiora: Thank you Mr. Lebeau. Anyway, as I was saying, I want to get through this as quickly as possible today, and I want us to stick to the script! This isn't an easy scene, so don't make it any harder than it has to be. All right? Good. PLACES! And Forge, can you take the camera's today?
Forge: Sure!
Fiora: Thanks you. Okay, ACTION!
*****
[Scene is in the X mobile, Scott's driving. It's night. They still have on their suits, black sunglasses, and black hats, along with their broken watches. "Soothe Me" plays in the background]
(Maybe I should wander
Through these streets a little longer)
Gambit: We put de band back toget'er, do a few gigs, we get some bread, Bang! Five t'ousand bucks.
Jean-Luc: [off stage] Bread? Haven't heard dat term ina long time!
(Hey New York City
Won't you welcome me back home? )
Scott: Yeah, well, getting the band back together might not be that easy.
Gambit: What're you talkin' 'bout?
(And darling I love you
But I swear that I'll be gone
By the time you figure out what you want )
Scott: They split, they all took straight jobs.
Gambit: Yeah, so? Ya know where dey are. Ya said you were gonna keep in touch with dem
(Maybe I should wander
Through my solitude a little longer )
Scott: I got a coupla leads, a few phone numbers, but I mean, how many of them visited; or even wrote you, huh?
Gambit: dere not de kinda guys who write letters. You were outside, Remy was inside, you were s'posed to keep in touch with de band. Remy kept asking you if we were gonna play again.
(Turn your head now sailor
Well I used to be so much stronger
How in the hell did I get here?
In this city so alone )
Scott: [turns the radio off] Well what was I gonna do? Take away you're only hope? Take away the very thing that kept you going in there? I took the liberty of bullshitting you, okay?
Gambit: Ya lied to Remy...
Scott: It wasn't lies, it was just bullshit.
Gambit: Never t'ought I'd hear ya say Bullshit twice in de same day
Kurt: [off stage] ja, let alone within one hour
[Fiora is heard growling off camera]
[Scott drives through a yellow traffic light, and a police car is seen pulling out from a donut shop]
Scott: Shit!
Gambit: Should I get ya a change of pants, mon ami?
Scott: Very funny
Fiora:[off camera] GAMBIT, SAY YOUR LINE!
Gambit: All right, What? What are ya shitin' 'bout?
[random giggling off camera]
Gambit: What?
Scott: Rollers.
Gambit: Non.
Scott: Yeah.
Gambit: Shit.
[Evan Daniels (Spyke) is seen directing Scott to pull over, which he does. Evan and his partner, Ray Crisp (Bezerker), both exit the car. Ray stays next to the vehicle, while Evan walks up to the X Mobile, with the drivers side window down, and shines a flashlight in, letting it rest on Gambit's face, shining into his eyes through the side of the sun glasses. Gambit's lip twitches, as if resisting the urge to say something. Evan switches the flashlight off, and stares at Scott.]
Scott: [innocently] What? What did I do?
Officer Daniels: You failed to stop at a red signal.
Scott: The light was yellow sir.
Officer Daniels: May I see your license please?
[Scott gives it to him, and Officer Daniels takes it to the squad car]
Gambit: Goddamnit!
Scott: Man I haven't been pulled over in six months. [pause] I bet those cops have got SCMODS.
Gambit: SCMODS?
Scott: State. County. Municipal. Offender. Data. System.
[Scene switches to the SCMODS screen, which reads:
(X, Scott
Illinois License: 8263-1655-2187
Currently Under Suspension
Warrant Outstanding: PARKG-116
Moving Violations: 56
Arrest Driver....Impound Vehicle)]
Officer Crisp: Mmm-hmm
[The two officers return to Gambit and Scott's car]
Officer Daniels: Scott, we show your license currently under suspension. Step out of the car please.
[Scott looks as if he's going to get out, but then glances over at Gambit, and starts the car and drives off. Officer Crisp and Officer Daniels jump into the squad car and follow]
*****
Gambit: First ya trade de Cad'llac for a microphone, den you lie to Remy about de band, now you're gonna put Remy right back in da joint.
Scott: They're not gonna catch us. We're on a mission from God.
Gambit: [Growls] Scott
Officer Crisp: [into CB] We are in high speed pursuit northbound on Cropland Avenue. Black and white 1974 Dodge sedan with Illinois plates. Request assistance.
[Scott turns into a parking lot. Officers pursue.]
Scott: It would be all right if we could just get back on the expressway.
[Camera shows a TOYS'R'US store, the X-Mobile drives past, follows closely by Officer Daniels car, and a back-up car. They swerve through the full parking lot.]
Gambit: Dis don't look like no expressway to me!
Scott: Don't yell at me.
Gambit: What de hell do ya wan' me to do, motorhead?
Scott: Well try not to be so negative all the time, why don't you offer some constructive criticism.
Gambit: You got us inta dis parking lot, pal, so you get us out.
Scott: You want outta this parking lot? Okay.
[camera shifts to the Inside of the TOYS'R'Us store, where we see Sabertooth dressed as a female cashier.]
Sabertooth: Will there be anything else?
[camera shows Magneto holding up a Kurmet the frog doll (Shopping for his kids?) ]
Magneto: Yes, do you have a Miss Piggy?
[Scott crashes the car into the store, and drives through racks of toys, sending customers scampering. Officer Daniels then crashes his car through the wall next to Scott's hole, knocking down his own. The back up car follows. The drive out of TOYS'R'US and into the mall]
Gambit: Hanson Burgers.
Scott: Yeah. Lots of space in this mall.
[Backup cops crashes through a garden shop]
Gambit: Disco dancing hair cuts. What de hell is a Disco dancing hair cut?
Scott: I don't wanna know [Swerves into a Clothing store]
Scott: Baby clothes.
Gambit: dis place has got everyt'ing.
[Scott crashes into an Oldsmobile dealership]
Scott: New Oldsmobiles are in early this year.
[Scott pulls out, and drives through the mall with the back up behind them, and Officers Daniels and Crisp pulling up the rear. Gambit rolls down his window, and tosses a charged card at the Backup. The Camera switches to the Back-up Officers, who we now see are Jean Grey Driving and Pyro in the passenger seat.]
Jean: Oh Shit!
[The card blows up the tire, and sends the backup squad car on it's roof, causing it to spin around, with Jean and Pyro covering their eyes.]
Scott: Gambit! Jean's in there!
Gambit: De'll be fine.
Scott: How do you know?
Gambit: Gambit's psychic
Scott: Psychic my ass. I swear, if you hurt her...
Gambit: Can it and drive
[Just when The backup car is about to stop spinning, Officer Daniels hits the back, and sends it spinning again.]
Pyro: Damnit! They broke my Flame-thrower!
Jean: Why do you have your flame-thrower ?
Pyro: Cuz ya never know when your gonna need to burn something
[Evan crashes the car into a shelf in JC Penny, stopping it. Scott and Gambit drive out of the mall and back onto the road, happy as clams]
Officer Crisp: I'm gonna catch that sucker, if it's the last thing I ever do!
Peter Gunn song plays
Forge: CUT!
*****
[Fiora sits asleep in her directors chair, and Kurt is perched next to her on a table.]
Kurt: Ve here at the "X-Brothers" would like to thank our reviewers, by replying to their reviews! [Pull out a peice of paper] First of all is VladimirsAngel! I, Personally, would like to thank for the water, I really needed it. Thanks for the compliment on my Preaching! I've always wanted to be a preist...
Jean: And we're really glad you think it's funny, although Kitty running away from Lance is not funny. They are having serious problems with their relationship, and I'm sure they wouldn't-
[Kitty and Lance walk in, holding hands]
Jean: Or I could be wrong...
[Jean walks off, probably to nose into their personal life...]
Forge: [Grabs the peice of paper from Kurt] Next is Laureate. IN answer to you queastion, Yes, I have soon the light! The Holy Spirit HAS Seized my soul and made me dance!
Gambit: Ya sure dat wasn't de drugs?
[Forge glares, while Todd swipes the paper from him.]
Todd: Yo, next up is...i_luv_elfie_bois? You one of her [jerks thumb at Fiora] readers at LEPBS? [shrugs] anyway, you'll start mettin' the band members soon, though I dunno how Fiora's gonna get them to agree...Anyway, thanks for ya review!
*****
Love & Insanity,
Fiora-da-insane
Fiora_da_insane@hotmail.com