Title: James and the Giant Orange
Authors: eMu & Chikin
Summary: James and the Giant Peach…meets Hogwarts.
Disclaimers: Usual plus Roald Dahl. Yet again.
Author's Notes: Whoo! Cuz he's awesome!
BOOM!!!
"Oh merciful Jesus!"
"Cow Pattie!"
"Moo."
"Quiet table!"
"Black, Pettigrew, Lupin, Po-"
"It wasn't us…this time." Peter shouted.
"Oh? This class has been here for one month, and every time there's been an explosion this month, and mind you there aren't usually multiple explosions in one month, it's been you four!" McGonagall shouted, losing her temper.
"Well, it wasn't us this time. You were looking right at us." Remus noted.
"True…did anyone see who blew up the…what blew up?" McGonagall asked the class. Lily Evans raised her hand, then pointed outside. McGonagall looked out the window.
"Oh merciful Jesus!"
SKIPPY SKIPPY
"And that's why we don't have a teacher for Herbology right now." James explained.
"And that is also why Guy Incognito was expelled from Hogwarts." Remus added. "And until they get a new teacher for Herbology, we're going to the Great Hall. I hear Dumbledore's doing something with us during our Herbology spots."
"C'mon, Dumbledore's the headmaster. He's gotta have something better to do with his time." Sirius noted. At that point the four boys reached the Great Hall, where they saw Dumbledore, and all the other kids in their year.
"As you may have noticed the schedules have been changed so that all the years have Herbology together, and with the seven years, this totals one well needed break for the teachers a day. Oh, here are the Gryffindors. You can sit in the front with the Slytherins, those houses are friends, right?" Dumbledore said.
"I…choose not to comment." Sirius said, sitting down next to the Slytherins. Someone threw something in his hair. He was about to pounce, but Remus touched his shoulder.
"The headmaster is sitting in front of you. Think. Please." Remus implored.
"But they threw a spit ball in my hair!" Sirius whined.
"It's not a spitball, it's a rubber." Peter noted.
"Why would anyone have the rubber to throw? Why would they have a rubber in school?" James asked.
"I know. You can't erase ink." Remus noted.
"Excuse me class, I was just saying how we need to fill the time Herbology had with something, so each of the years are going to put on a play, and we're going to have an awards night get-up for the best of the plays." Dumbledore announced.
"Ooo…" A bunch of girls chorused.
"We have text books. Can't we just read them?" A Ravenclaw asked.
"Boo!" A bunch of Gryffindors shouted, throwing rubbers at the Ravenclaw.
"Where are all of these rubbers coming from?" Natasha asked.
"Anyway, we need to vote on which play we're going to do. We thought it'd be cute for you first years to do a musical of some kind."
"Boo!"
"Shut up Sirius."
"Anyway, your options are the Little Mermaid, My Little Ponies, James and the Giant Peach and the Rocky Horror Picture Show."
"How did that last one get in?" Snape asked. "We're eleven you know."
"So you've seen it? Shame, you're too young for that." Dumbledore scolded. "Alright, raise your hands if you want to do the Little Mermaid."
Peter tentatively raised his hand, but Sirius smacked it down.
"Okay, seven. Now for My Little Ponies. Alright. One. James and the Giant Peach, ooo. Okay, that wins. Right, I'll be the director-"
"Sir, no offense, but…um…you are the headmaster. Don't you have something else to do? Something more worthwhile?" Lily asked.
"Actually I spend most of the day golfing in my office, I'm not really sure what it is I'm supposed to be doing. But it's very relaxing. Okay, there are some scripts over there, read through and you can audition…later. Have fun! Work on the scripts for the rest of class, I guess."
Dumbledore handed out scripts. Peter, James, Remus and Sirius tossed them, then worked on catapulting odd things at the Slytherins for the rest of the period.
Authors: eMu & Chikin
Summary: James and the Giant Peach…meets Hogwarts.
Disclaimers: Usual plus Roald Dahl. Yet again.
Author's Notes: Whoo! Cuz he's awesome!
BOOM!!!
"Oh merciful Jesus!"
"Cow Pattie!"
"Moo."
"Quiet table!"
"Black, Pettigrew, Lupin, Po-"
"It wasn't us…this time." Peter shouted.
"Oh? This class has been here for one month, and every time there's been an explosion this month, and mind you there aren't usually multiple explosions in one month, it's been you four!" McGonagall shouted, losing her temper.
"Well, it wasn't us this time. You were looking right at us." Remus noted.
"True…did anyone see who blew up the…what blew up?" McGonagall asked the class. Lily Evans raised her hand, then pointed outside. McGonagall looked out the window.
"Oh merciful Jesus!"
SKIPPY SKIPPY
"And that's why we don't have a teacher for Herbology right now." James explained.
"And that is also why Guy Incognito was expelled from Hogwarts." Remus added. "And until they get a new teacher for Herbology, we're going to the Great Hall. I hear Dumbledore's doing something with us during our Herbology spots."
"C'mon, Dumbledore's the headmaster. He's gotta have something better to do with his time." Sirius noted. At that point the four boys reached the Great Hall, where they saw Dumbledore, and all the other kids in their year.
"As you may have noticed the schedules have been changed so that all the years have Herbology together, and with the seven years, this totals one well needed break for the teachers a day. Oh, here are the Gryffindors. You can sit in the front with the Slytherins, those houses are friends, right?" Dumbledore said.
"I…choose not to comment." Sirius said, sitting down next to the Slytherins. Someone threw something in his hair. He was about to pounce, but Remus touched his shoulder.
"The headmaster is sitting in front of you. Think. Please." Remus implored.
"But they threw a spit ball in my hair!" Sirius whined.
"It's not a spitball, it's a rubber." Peter noted.
"Why would anyone have the rubber to throw? Why would they have a rubber in school?" James asked.
"I know. You can't erase ink." Remus noted.
"Excuse me class, I was just saying how we need to fill the time Herbology had with something, so each of the years are going to put on a play, and we're going to have an awards night get-up for the best of the plays." Dumbledore announced.
"Ooo…" A bunch of girls chorused.
"We have text books. Can't we just read them?" A Ravenclaw asked.
"Boo!" A bunch of Gryffindors shouted, throwing rubbers at the Ravenclaw.
"Where are all of these rubbers coming from?" Natasha asked.
"Anyway, we need to vote on which play we're going to do. We thought it'd be cute for you first years to do a musical of some kind."
"Boo!"
"Shut up Sirius."
"Anyway, your options are the Little Mermaid, My Little Ponies, James and the Giant Peach and the Rocky Horror Picture Show."
"How did that last one get in?" Snape asked. "We're eleven you know."
"So you've seen it? Shame, you're too young for that." Dumbledore scolded. "Alright, raise your hands if you want to do the Little Mermaid."
Peter tentatively raised his hand, but Sirius smacked it down.
"Okay, seven. Now for My Little Ponies. Alright. One. James and the Giant Peach, ooo. Okay, that wins. Right, I'll be the director-"
"Sir, no offense, but…um…you are the headmaster. Don't you have something else to do? Something more worthwhile?" Lily asked.
"Actually I spend most of the day golfing in my office, I'm not really sure what it is I'm supposed to be doing. But it's very relaxing. Okay, there are some scripts over there, read through and you can audition…later. Have fun! Work on the scripts for the rest of class, I guess."
Dumbledore handed out scripts. Peter, James, Remus and Sirius tossed them, then worked on catapulting odd things at the Slytherins for the rest of the period.