Days passed and grew into weeks and Abby stayed in the hotel, occasionally
sneaking back to Eric's rented apartment when he was out to take back her
stuff, bit by bit. She called Carter daily, but the phone calls provided no
comfort for her as she created a false world to tell him about A world
where she was still at Eric's and Maggie was doing ok and they were now
getting on really well and Nathalie had grown attached to her grandmother.
She hated lying to him but every time she picked up the phone and heard his
voice, she found herself telling him a story about how she and Maggie spent
all day together doing some other family bonding activity. Then she would
replace the phone, feel the enthusiasm and cheerful spark drop from her
voice and cry with loneliness and regret.
* * *
It'd been a fortnight since she had last seen anybody she loved and cared about apart from her daughter. She had grown bored of the same surroundings and the lack of decent conversation. She gradually came to hate the routine of her life in which she did no cleaning, saw no other people and lived in a world of regret and lies. She put Nathalie to bed and sat on the edge of the balcony. The stars were out in the fresh evening sky and the rumble of traffic behind her provided a regular rhythm to her troubled thoughts. She gazed down at the empty hotel pool below her. Anybody would be crazy to use it at this time of year. She gazed down at the still waters when she suddenly saw it be disrupted by a splash and the ripples that spread from it. She looked up at the sky to see if it was raining but then felt a drop trickle down her face. Oh, right, it was just her tears again. She got up and went to bed.
* * *
"Hello Abby, I've missed you so much," Maggie smiled as Abby entered the hospital room.
"Hey Mom," she greeted and sat by her bed. "I'm sorry,"
"No it's ok, we should talk about this," Maggie shook her head. "If we can just talk about it calmly and clear things up, everything will be ok."
"Erm.ok," Abby agreed, feeling uncomfortable and nervous. She had never really openly discussed this without her shield of shouting and anger. A hand was put on her shoulder. It rubbed her shoulder and someone sat beside her.
"Don't worry baby," smiled Carter. He held her hand. "I'm here. You can do this." Abby nodded and turned back to Maggie, but Maggie was gone. She was now in the familiar setting of her bedroom back home. She turned; Carter was lying next to her.
"Great to be home, isn't it, honey?" he stroked her cheek. Abby smiled and nodded, sinking into the sheets next to him. His hand found hers and he sat up over her. He smiled, but his face quickly became a frown.
"Why did you lie to me Abby?" he asked suddenly. "I care about you. Do you know how much I love you? I can't let you tear me apart like this." Then Maggie appeared.
"Abby, you left me alone and I wanted you to be here with me when I died," she told her. "But I guess it's too late for that."
"Yeah, Abby," Eric joined her. "You're wrecking our happy family. You don't know how worried I was." She looked up, worried and confused into Carter's angry eyes. He shook his head in disgust and then everything was black.
* * *
She woke up, shaking and breathing fast. She waited a while in the suffocating silence as her eyes grew adjusted to the dim light. The bedclothes were ruffled and thrown wildly about the bed from when she had thrashed about in her sleep. She gathered up the duvet and sat on the cold stone floor of the balcony, wrapped in the duvet. So lonely, so afraid, she rocked herself, trying to find a comfort that wasn't there. She couldn't live like this.
* * *
It'd been a fortnight since she had last seen anybody she loved and cared about apart from her daughter. She had grown bored of the same surroundings and the lack of decent conversation. She gradually came to hate the routine of her life in which she did no cleaning, saw no other people and lived in a world of regret and lies. She put Nathalie to bed and sat on the edge of the balcony. The stars were out in the fresh evening sky and the rumble of traffic behind her provided a regular rhythm to her troubled thoughts. She gazed down at the empty hotel pool below her. Anybody would be crazy to use it at this time of year. She gazed down at the still waters when she suddenly saw it be disrupted by a splash and the ripples that spread from it. She looked up at the sky to see if it was raining but then felt a drop trickle down her face. Oh, right, it was just her tears again. She got up and went to bed.
* * *
"Hello Abby, I've missed you so much," Maggie smiled as Abby entered the hospital room.
"Hey Mom," she greeted and sat by her bed. "I'm sorry,"
"No it's ok, we should talk about this," Maggie shook her head. "If we can just talk about it calmly and clear things up, everything will be ok."
"Erm.ok," Abby agreed, feeling uncomfortable and nervous. She had never really openly discussed this without her shield of shouting and anger. A hand was put on her shoulder. It rubbed her shoulder and someone sat beside her.
"Don't worry baby," smiled Carter. He held her hand. "I'm here. You can do this." Abby nodded and turned back to Maggie, but Maggie was gone. She was now in the familiar setting of her bedroom back home. She turned; Carter was lying next to her.
"Great to be home, isn't it, honey?" he stroked her cheek. Abby smiled and nodded, sinking into the sheets next to him. His hand found hers and he sat up over her. He smiled, but his face quickly became a frown.
"Why did you lie to me Abby?" he asked suddenly. "I care about you. Do you know how much I love you? I can't let you tear me apart like this." Then Maggie appeared.
"Abby, you left me alone and I wanted you to be here with me when I died," she told her. "But I guess it's too late for that."
"Yeah, Abby," Eric joined her. "You're wrecking our happy family. You don't know how worried I was." She looked up, worried and confused into Carter's angry eyes. He shook his head in disgust and then everything was black.
* * *
She woke up, shaking and breathing fast. She waited a while in the suffocating silence as her eyes grew adjusted to the dim light. The bedclothes were ruffled and thrown wildly about the bed from when she had thrashed about in her sleep. She gathered up the duvet and sat on the cold stone floor of the balcony, wrapped in the duvet. So lonely, so afraid, she rocked herself, trying to find a comfort that wasn't there. She couldn't live like this.