"That was a very good run through class. Try it again, only this time betterer…" Dumbledore advised.
"I swear to God I think he's stoned." Snape whispered to no one in particular.
"Well, those are the first actual directing cues he's given us." Narcissa noted.
"Plie one two! And hop, hop! One two three, one two three! I need you to feel this! Bend those knees Lucius!" Crabbe ordered.
"Sod off!" Lucius growled. "I can't move my arms, this is the best dancing you're getting." As Lucius was playing the worm, his arms had been temporarily duct taped to his sides. All he could really do was wiggle.
"Twirl, no graceful you beasts! I can't work with these ruffians!" Crabbe shouted, throwing down his script.
"How come he's talking smart? I always got the impression cabbage was more intelligent than him…" Peter muttered. James just shrugged.
"Jezzebel? Where is that little slut! Jezzebel!" Narcissa stormed off, her costume clutched in one hand. "There you are! I am not wearing this!"
"But you need to. Or else you'll be naked on stage." Jezzebel answered. Narcissa stared at her in shock for a minute, a series of clicks emerging from her throat. "Are you alright?"
"I can't move when I wear this monstrosity! Even the beach ball can move!" Narcissa yelled.
"It's not a monstrosity. It's card board and foldable foam and glue. And glittery. And googly stuffs." Jezzebel said sweetly.
"Help! Help!" Peter yelped. Goyle and Avery were rolling him around onstage, suspiciously close to the window leading to the lake.
"Away from the window, you'll ruin the costume! Thorw him out the window when he's not wearing the costume!" Jezzebel shouted.
"Jezzebel, hey! I'm more important than he is!" Narcissa squeaked indignantly.
"Suck it in Pettigrew! You're going to break the molding! And try to land on your feet! Out of water preferably!" Jezzebel shouted.
Remus started throwing plastic daggers from the pirate props at Goyle and Avery. "Oi! Stop that! We can't push him out with you doing that!" Goyle grunted.
"Sure we can." Avery snapped.
"Help!" Peter squeaked. "Please! I don't want to die! I'm only eleven!"
"I'm going to regret this." Sirius muttered. He walked over to Avery and Goyle and screamed "BOLLOCKS!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!"
The ensuing zap shocked the three of them into convulsions whilst Peter wiggled, still stuck in the window.
"Wow, they're having seizures." Natasha noted.
"Thanks Sirius!" Peter said.
"Gargk!! Wel-Akl-come!" Sirius gargled.
"Somebody should help them before they swallow their tongues." Lily noted.
"Tongs!" Jezzebel said, pulling them out of the prop bin.
LATER…
"Once again, rehearsals are being delayed by the presence of principal cast members in the hospital wing. Are we ever going to have all of our pirates here at once?" Dumbledore asked.
"Maybe if Lupin would keep out of the infirmary." Romulus grunted.
"Hey, I'm here today!" Remus snapped. Then a stage light fell from the ceiling three feet from him. He stared at it in shock. "Didn't think we had stage hands…"
"That's what the Hufflepuffs are doing." Dumbledore said brightly.
"Oh God, we're going to die." Peter muttered.
"I gots the pirates!" Jezzebel said, wheeling Avery and Goyle in on their wheelchairs. "See, he's even got an eye patch!"
"That's because his eyeball exploded Jezzebel." Lucius snapped.
"It's growing back."
"Where's Sirius?" Remus asked.
"He's in the infirmary, Madam Pomfrey wouldn't let me take him. So I shouted look over there and grabbed these two. There were too many wires attached to Sirius."
Remus made a somewhat unintelligible squeak.
"JEZZEBEL SAMSA, WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!!!" Madam Pomfrey screamed.
"Standing…"
"Wow, I'm amazed she figured that out." Narcissa muttered sarcastically.
"Hello Poppy, very nice day, isn't it?" Dumbledore greeted. Pomfrey looked very much like she was going to explode.
"Aren't you supposed to stay in the hospital wing? With the patients?" James asked.
"Not when my patients are kidnapped!" Pomfrey shouted, wheeling Avery and Goyle away.
"I swear to God I think he's stoned." Snape whispered to no one in particular.
"Well, those are the first actual directing cues he's given us." Narcissa noted.
"Plie one two! And hop, hop! One two three, one two three! I need you to feel this! Bend those knees Lucius!" Crabbe ordered.
"Sod off!" Lucius growled. "I can't move my arms, this is the best dancing you're getting." As Lucius was playing the worm, his arms had been temporarily duct taped to his sides. All he could really do was wiggle.
"Twirl, no graceful you beasts! I can't work with these ruffians!" Crabbe shouted, throwing down his script.
"How come he's talking smart? I always got the impression cabbage was more intelligent than him…" Peter muttered. James just shrugged.
"Jezzebel? Where is that little slut! Jezzebel!" Narcissa stormed off, her costume clutched in one hand. "There you are! I am not wearing this!"
"But you need to. Or else you'll be naked on stage." Jezzebel answered. Narcissa stared at her in shock for a minute, a series of clicks emerging from her throat. "Are you alright?"
"I can't move when I wear this monstrosity! Even the beach ball can move!" Narcissa yelled.
"It's not a monstrosity. It's card board and foldable foam and glue. And glittery. And googly stuffs." Jezzebel said sweetly.
"Help! Help!" Peter yelped. Goyle and Avery were rolling him around onstage, suspiciously close to the window leading to the lake.
"Away from the window, you'll ruin the costume! Thorw him out the window when he's not wearing the costume!" Jezzebel shouted.
"Jezzebel, hey! I'm more important than he is!" Narcissa squeaked indignantly.
"Suck it in Pettigrew! You're going to break the molding! And try to land on your feet! Out of water preferably!" Jezzebel shouted.
Remus started throwing plastic daggers from the pirate props at Goyle and Avery. "Oi! Stop that! We can't push him out with you doing that!" Goyle grunted.
"Sure we can." Avery snapped.
"Help!" Peter squeaked. "Please! I don't want to die! I'm only eleven!"
"I'm going to regret this." Sirius muttered. He walked over to Avery and Goyle and screamed "BOLLOCKS!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!"
The ensuing zap shocked the three of them into convulsions whilst Peter wiggled, still stuck in the window.
"Wow, they're having seizures." Natasha noted.
"Thanks Sirius!" Peter said.
"Gargk!! Wel-Akl-come!" Sirius gargled.
"Somebody should help them before they swallow their tongues." Lily noted.
"Tongs!" Jezzebel said, pulling them out of the prop bin.
LATER…
"Once again, rehearsals are being delayed by the presence of principal cast members in the hospital wing. Are we ever going to have all of our pirates here at once?" Dumbledore asked.
"Maybe if Lupin would keep out of the infirmary." Romulus grunted.
"Hey, I'm here today!" Remus snapped. Then a stage light fell from the ceiling three feet from him. He stared at it in shock. "Didn't think we had stage hands…"
"That's what the Hufflepuffs are doing." Dumbledore said brightly.
"Oh God, we're going to die." Peter muttered.
"I gots the pirates!" Jezzebel said, wheeling Avery and Goyle in on their wheelchairs. "See, he's even got an eye patch!"
"That's because his eyeball exploded Jezzebel." Lucius snapped.
"It's growing back."
"Where's Sirius?" Remus asked.
"He's in the infirmary, Madam Pomfrey wouldn't let me take him. So I shouted look over there and grabbed these two. There were too many wires attached to Sirius."
Remus made a somewhat unintelligible squeak.
"JEZZEBEL SAMSA, WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!!!" Madam Pomfrey screamed.
"Standing…"
"Wow, I'm amazed she figured that out." Narcissa muttered sarcastically.
"Hello Poppy, very nice day, isn't it?" Dumbledore greeted. Pomfrey looked very much like she was going to explode.
"Aren't you supposed to stay in the hospital wing? With the patients?" James asked.
"Not when my patients are kidnapped!" Pomfrey shouted, wheeling Avery and Goyle away.