Disclaimer: I don't own Labyrinth, or Dr. Strangelove, the Marx Brothers or the Muppet Show, yada yada yada.
Dedication: To Jim for listening.
Author's note: A feeble attempt to insinuate myself in here, but it's what I feel works best.
**********************************************************************************
It was a voice no one had heard before. It was female and level, amongst all the tempest.
Sarah cried out to the voice, looking around for a body to attach it to. She cried, "Then *explain* yourself. EXPLAAAAAIN!"
During her cry, the audio onstage had gone down. A large curtain fell. And a small woman appeared to Sarah's right, and walked out onstage.
"I suggest you do as Sarah demands,"said the Goblin King, turning to her. "I'm sure you know my reputation, and further, that I could make you quite uncomfortable."
Behind them, the Doctor began to shake.
The woman looked at Jareth, then at Sarah.
"My name is Jaden Rage, and I'm here to protect you."
"Young lady," said Jareth, incredulously, "do you *really* believe I need protecting?"
"Jareth," Rage started. "I don't think you understand the gravity of what you're doing."
"Gravity?" asked Sarah. "What do you mean?"
"Labyrinth is like a *religion* to these people, whether you like how they have interpreted it or not. And believe me, I understand. I personally believe that Labyrinth has been just as misinterpreted as the Bible. But if you, *you* tell them that they're wrong, you're going to shatter them. If you shatter a belief structure in a human, the results are almost always unpredictable. Now that's *one* human---"
They listened to the din of the crowd for a moment.
"Jareth," Rage continued. "Imagine if a group of your goblins got a bad idea in them. They are not immune to mob mentality, are they?"
"No, no they're not," he said pensively, coming to understanding.
"The bad vibes in the place would be enough negative magick to null and void anything you might do to protect yourself."
"So what do we do?" Sarah said.
"You can't retract the statement," Rage started, "but you *can* shift the focus."
"To where?" Jareth asked.
"To me," replied Rage, with anxious hesitation.
Jareth, for the first time, looked at Rage with genuine concern. As did Sarah.
"But if these people could crush *me*--" he said.
"You're a *human*, Jaden. You'll never survive." Sarah didn't like the idea one bit.
"I think I managed to cool off some of the bad vibes by openly mocking you guys."
"Wait. . .that was *your* doing?" Jareth said.
"I think I see," Sarah piped in, "Jaden had to undermine us in order to psychologically lessen the effect of what we were saying."
"Precisely," Rage replied.
"So you're planning--" said Jareth.
"--to give the speech the Doctor was going to give," Sarah finished.
"Because, to the fans, I have no established link with either of you. Therefore, the blame is effectively shifted from the authority to a false prophet. *And* because the Doctor's accent is a little hard to swallow."
"Hard to swallow?" the moustache called out. "You could swallow a Redwood with greater ease."
Rage threw a look to the Doctor.
"He'd be a little difficult to believe in his present condition anyway."
Sarah and Jareth turned around to see the doctor doing a rather offensive salute. Link was all but tackling him.
"Leenk!" the doctor cried. "Let *go* of my *arm* Leenk!"
And so, we ignore the doctor for the rest of the fanfic.
"I can't let you do this, Jaden," said Sarah.
"With all due respect, you have opened the flesh, and now you have to let it clot."
"Jareth!" she yelled. "*Please* don't let her!"
Jareth returned to Sarah. "I'm sorry, Sarah, but I have responsibilities to the both of us."
She looked confused for a brief moment. "What responsibility?" She paused. "Wait a minute.
Rage turned to her. And listened to the most brilliant idea.
Rage always admired Sarah's intelligence.
Dedication: To Jim for listening.
Author's note: A feeble attempt to insinuate myself in here, but it's what I feel works best.
**********************************************************************************
It was a voice no one had heard before. It was female and level, amongst all the tempest.
Sarah cried out to the voice, looking around for a body to attach it to. She cried, "Then *explain* yourself. EXPLAAAAAIN!"
During her cry, the audio onstage had gone down. A large curtain fell. And a small woman appeared to Sarah's right, and walked out onstage.
"I suggest you do as Sarah demands,"said the Goblin King, turning to her. "I'm sure you know my reputation, and further, that I could make you quite uncomfortable."
Behind them, the Doctor began to shake.
The woman looked at Jareth, then at Sarah.
"My name is Jaden Rage, and I'm here to protect you."
"Young lady," said Jareth, incredulously, "do you *really* believe I need protecting?"
"Jareth," Rage started. "I don't think you understand the gravity of what you're doing."
"Gravity?" asked Sarah. "What do you mean?"
"Labyrinth is like a *religion* to these people, whether you like how they have interpreted it or not. And believe me, I understand. I personally believe that Labyrinth has been just as misinterpreted as the Bible. But if you, *you* tell them that they're wrong, you're going to shatter them. If you shatter a belief structure in a human, the results are almost always unpredictable. Now that's *one* human---"
They listened to the din of the crowd for a moment.
"Jareth," Rage continued. "Imagine if a group of your goblins got a bad idea in them. They are not immune to mob mentality, are they?"
"No, no they're not," he said pensively, coming to understanding.
"The bad vibes in the place would be enough negative magick to null and void anything you might do to protect yourself."
"So what do we do?" Sarah said.
"You can't retract the statement," Rage started, "but you *can* shift the focus."
"To where?" Jareth asked.
"To me," replied Rage, with anxious hesitation.
Jareth, for the first time, looked at Rage with genuine concern. As did Sarah.
"But if these people could crush *me*--" he said.
"You're a *human*, Jaden. You'll never survive." Sarah didn't like the idea one bit.
"I think I managed to cool off some of the bad vibes by openly mocking you guys."
"Wait. . .that was *your* doing?" Jareth said.
"I think I see," Sarah piped in, "Jaden had to undermine us in order to psychologically lessen the effect of what we were saying."
"Precisely," Rage replied.
"So you're planning--" said Jareth.
"--to give the speech the Doctor was going to give," Sarah finished.
"Because, to the fans, I have no established link with either of you. Therefore, the blame is effectively shifted from the authority to a false prophet. *And* because the Doctor's accent is a little hard to swallow."
"Hard to swallow?" the moustache called out. "You could swallow a Redwood with greater ease."
Rage threw a look to the Doctor.
"He'd be a little difficult to believe in his present condition anyway."
Sarah and Jareth turned around to see the doctor doing a rather offensive salute. Link was all but tackling him.
"Leenk!" the doctor cried. "Let *go* of my *arm* Leenk!"
And so, we ignore the doctor for the rest of the fanfic.
"I can't let you do this, Jaden," said Sarah.
"With all due respect, you have opened the flesh, and now you have to let it clot."
"Jareth!" she yelled. "*Please* don't let her!"
Jareth returned to Sarah. "I'm sorry, Sarah, but I have responsibilities to the both of us."
She looked confused for a brief moment. "What responsibility?" She paused. "Wait a minute.
Rage turned to her. And listened to the most brilliant idea.
Rage always admired Sarah's intelligence.