A/N: I have always wanted to write an entire episode of 'Friends' in
Central Perk. It would be a dream come true to even see it on TV.
Although it is fun to see one like this, it can be hard to write because
you are dealing with one remote location. I hope that I have satisfied
people with my rendition of an entire episode in Central Perk. I also had
to make sure that there was no way possible for the gang to leave Central
Perk. This is for anybody who loves JnR, RnP, and CnM. I hope no one will
be disappointed. This is a one chapter deal, so this is it. As always,
Read and review.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or Central Perk. Although
I would like to own Joey and have him be shirtless all the time.
****************************************************************************
***
Rain had start to fall. The droplets hit the pavement, creating puddles around the entrance to Central Perk. It was normal to have rain at this time of the year. In fact, it was the wettest July in New York history. As the rain fell, lightening and thunder danced in the sky. Creating a natural light show for anyone standing outside, or watching from inside.
All six of them had gathered in Central Perk for their usual chat. Sitting in the same spot that was always vacated when they went to the coffeehouse. No one else was there but the six of them and Gunther. Gunther had been cleaning up the place for business tommorrow.
"Hey Rachel. Do you mind closing up the place tonight? I know you haven't done it in a long time, but I have to get home to my mother. She's really sick." Gunther said, pulling Rachel aside from the group.
"Sure Gunther." Rachel said, taking the keys from him. Gunther grabbed his coat from the back and left.
Rachel sat back down on the couch. She sat next to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe. Ross sat in the sofa chair, and Joey sat in the chair by the table.
"I just found out today that you can't steal those little plastic rings that stores put the hankerchiefs on." Phoebe said.
"Why would you steal them anyway?" Monica asked.
"Well, I was gonna use them as cookie cutters." Phoebe said.
"I could've given you some. I have all kinds of shapes. I have hearts, clovers, dinosaurs--"
"Why do you have to upstage my cookie cutters?" Phoebe said, taking a sip of her coffee.
"You have dinosaur cookie cutters?" Ross said.
"Yeah. I took them from mom and dad's place." Monica said.
"I didn't know you had dinosaur cookie cutters."
"Yes you did. Remember I made those dinosaur cookies for you to bring in for career day at Ben's school?"
"Oh. Right. And you never found out that the cookies were just for me and not for career day?" Ross said, grabbing his cup of coffee. Monica shot him a look. "Well, now you know." Ross took a sip of his coffee
"I can't wait for tommorow." Joey said.
"Cause today was just as good." Chandler said.
"No. I'm auditioning for this role in the new Jack Nicholson movie. I could be playing Jack Nicholson's son at this time next year." Joey said
"Or you could be the son that ate the prize from the cereal box today." Rachel said, picking at her nails.
"Hey, those toys are small and mix in very well with the cereal." Joey said.
"The toy was black in a sea of Cheerios." Rachel said.
"Yeah well...at least I didn't try to take pictures of the woman that lives across from us."
"What's wrong with you man? She is so hot." Chandler said. Monica gave him a look. "Not as steaming hot as you."
"Joey, I was taking pictures of her to show to Ralph Lauren; She would be a good model for our new collection." Rachel said, aggravated.
"Oh. I'm sorry. I thought maybe you were becoming a lesbian." Joey said.
"That would make two of my ex-wives." Ross said.
"I am not a lesbian!" Rachel said, disgusted. "And you should be talking Mr.I-Bought-Teen-Beat-To-Check-Out-The-New-Pictures-Of-Justin- Timberlake."
Joey stood up and gasped.
"That's right. I saw the magazine, peeking out from in between your issue of Playboy." Rachel said standing up.
"That Teen Beat was stuck inside that Playboy."
"Yeah okay, Mr. Jack McFarland."
Joey and Rachel gave each other evil looks.
The other four were trying to sneak out of the coffeehouse as the argument continued. It seemed that Joey and Rachel have been fighting often. The things they fought about were the littlest of things. Rachel's privacy, The arrangement of the furniture, even where the cereal boxes go. Once they started fighting, nothing could stop them. The only thing the other four could do was leave the room anytime they fought.
As Chandler was about to open the door, a huge snap was heard outside. Lightening had struck the electric pole outside, and it came toppling down onto the ground, into the puddles by the entrance of Central Perk. Luckily, the electrical pole was for another block and didn't affect the lights inside.
"I think my life long search for irony is finally over." Phoebe said.
Joey and Rachel looked over to where the other four were leaving.
"See? Look what you made them do." Rachel said, gesturing towards the other four.
"What I did? You started all of this." Joey said.
"How did I start this?"
The two of them started arguing at the same time and their words became inaudible.
Monica went over to the two of them, grabbed them by the ear.
"I can't take you two fighting anymore. Look at what you are doing to each other." Phoebe said.
Joey and Rachel looked at each other.
"Now, say you're sorry, or I'll make you sorry." Monica said.
"Sorry." Joey and Rachel said.
"Good." Monica let go of their ears.
Phoebe walked away from the two of them.
"Great now my ear hurts." Rachel said
"Oh I suppose that's my fault." Joey said.
"No, but now that you mention it, it might be."
Joey and Rachel started arguing again.
Monica came over and grabbed their ears again. She dragged them over to the supply closet by the sofa chair, and put them in there.
"Now you two are gonna think about what you did. And don't come out until everything is sorted." Monica said, slamming the door shut.
Monica wiped her hands together. She turned around and saw that Ross and Phoebe were gone. "Where did Ross and Phoebe go?" Monica asked Chandler.
"They went to see if we could exit through the back door." Chandler said.
"You know ever since I found out I was pregnant, I've had such maternal instincts. Like just now, I told them to think about what they did.''
"Right after you were charged with child abuse."
"You better watch out, mister, or I'll yank something more precious than an ear." Chandler gave Monica a horrified look. "Your pride."
"Oh okay." Chandler said, wiping his forehead.
Ross and Phoebe went to the back of the store. The shelves were stacked with boxes of coffee and assorted condiments. Sugar, brown sugar, and some stirrers. The back of the store was dark. The only source of light was a bulb that had a metal string attached.
"Man no wonder Rachel hated this place." Ross said, looking around.
"Yeah. I mean, stealing coffee, stirrers, sugar, and coming home smelling from coffee. Yeah she didn't have it so bad." Phoebe said.
"Well, she had to deal with Teri."
"Yeah that bastard didn't like me either. But I got a hit song out of him."
"What song would that be?"
"Old Man Who Needed A Cane After I Kicked Him In The Shin."
"Oh." Ross said, taking a few steps closer to the back exit. He went to open it and found out the door was blocked by something. Ross tried to push with his side. He tried several times. Eventually, Ross took a few steps back and charged at the door with full force. He hit the door and fell to the ground in pain.
"Ross, are you okay?" Phoebe asked, kneeling down to his side.
"No. I could use some ice." Ross said, holding his right arm.
"I'll go get some." Phoebe said. She went to go get ice. As she walked, she felt the ground give way beneath her. She fell about 5 feet under ground.
"OH my god! Pheebs?! Are you okay?!" Ross crawled to the hole, yelling down at Phoebe.
"Oh just dandy! I feel down a few feet landing on marshmallows! Yeah Ross, I'm fine!"
"Okay, I'll get some help."
"No Ross. I really did land on marshmallows!" Phoebe said, yelling up to him. "Wow, I didn't even know this place existed down here. If this is hell, I like it." Phoebe started to walk around the newly found space. She searched for a light switch. She found one near a door, and turned it on. The light filled the space. Phoebe gasped. Phoebe went back to the hole she fell down. "Ross! Come down here!" Phoebe yelled up.
"Great. Another injury to add to my list." Ross said, climbing his way down.
Joey and Rachel were on opposite ends of the closet. Rachel was closer to the door, leaning on a metal shelf of different chemicals. Joey sat on the hard cement floor, leaning against a big sink. They hadn't spoken in 10 minutes. What was going on, they couldn't even comprehend. Even sitting in silence was something they never did before.
"This is an awkward silence." Joey said, sitting Indian style on the floor.
"Well, you know who made us stay in here in the first place." Rachel said, switching feet and looking at the floor.
"Oh okay, here we go again."
"I was gonna say Monica. Why do you have such a guilty conscience?"
"I'm sorry, I'm not quite sure what you mean by that."
"Oh god. Here we go again, I have to explain everything to you."
"You don't explain everything to me."
"I had to explain to you that joke in Playboy."
"Well, I'm sorry, I wasted your time with your busy day of primping yourself."
"Well, excuse me for trying to look nice."
"You don't need all that make up to look nice."
"Well, you don't---I don't?"
"No, you don't."
Another long silence ensued the room. All conversations seemed to end the same way. No real resolution. No reason for fighting. Just bickering.
"I can't believe we are stuck in here." Monica said, coming back from the payphones.
"What did 911 say?" Chandler asked.
"They said that we have to wait here until the rain stops. And then I said 'Well what happens if this place becomes flooded and a pregnant woman inside escapes the flooded place and comes down to sue your ass?'"
"What'd they say?"
"They said that I'd have to wait."
"Well, I guess we have lots of time to kill."
"What can we do all this time?"
Chandler and Monica thought for a few moments.
"Let's drink and eat everything in sight!" Chandler said.
"Okay!" Monica said, enthusiastically.
Phoebe took Ross to a room. When Ross walked in, he saw a set up just like the bar that existed before Central Perk. The pool table, with the colorful cone lights. The jukebox, with songs that were never changed. The old shelf that contained the liqour. Everything looked the same, just underground.
"Wow. It's just like before Central Perk." Ross said.
"Now I wish I worked here." Phoebe said, walking towards the center of the room.
"I know. Everything looks the same. I thought maybe things were auctioned off."
"I thought maybe the things were pawned. And the money that Chris made, he would use it to make a new place. A place where we can all hang out. With comfy furniture and the smell of a natural aroma that fills the place. And maybe the place, would have a living room feel to it."
"Phoebe, we know that place." Ross said.
"Really? Where is it?" Phoebe said, all excited.
Ross rolled his eyes.
"I remember the night we almost did it on the pool table." Phoebe said, gesturing over at the pool table.
"I know. Me too." Ross said, his eyes meeting Phoebe's.
There was a silence for a few moments.
"Say, I think there is some liquor this time." Ross said, going over to the shelf with the liquor on it.
"Oh yea! I wanna get drunk!" Phoebe said.
Ross took out some liquor and passed some to Phoebe.
Chandler and Monica were laughing really hard. They were sitting behind the counter.
"HAHAHAA!!! I can't believe you thought Richard was a tree." Monica said.
"Yeah!! I know!" Chandler said in a Monica way
"I KNOW!!" Monica said.
"I think we had lots of caffeine. How much did you have?" Chandler asked.
"About 20.55 cups" Monica said, drinking some more coffee.
"Is there such a number?" Chandler said, rather posh like.
"It is when you can't see your own feet."
"I can't see my hands." Chandler said.
"Oh well. It's not a real number!" Monica said, laughing out loud.
"Hey lets play a game. If you can see certain parts of my body, you drink more coffee. If I can see certain parts of your body, I do the same."
"Okay!"
"Okay. Can you see my nose?" Chandler asked.
"Um...yeah." Monica said, taking some coffee. "Can you see my boobs?"
"Definitely." Chandler said, drinking some coffee. "Can you see my lips?"
Monica leaned over and kissed Chandler. "Yes I can." Monica said almost touching his lips.
"Can you--" Chandler started to say.
"Don't you know when to be quiet?" Monica said, kissing Chandler.
Phoebe and Ross have had quite a few drinks by now. They were laughing and having a good time.
"So Carol and Susan did on your couch once?" Phoebe asked, shooting pool.
"Yep. I had to clean the couch more than once. I didn't want Ben questioning me." Ross said, holding the pool stick up.
Phoebe misses the pocket and Ross goes.
"So where else have they done it?" Phoebe said.
"Why do you wanna know?"
"So that I can keep a tally on where I need to do it next."
"Okay. I know that they did it at each others workplace, a supermarket, a cattle farm, Starbucks."
"Have they...done it on a pool table?" Phoebe questioned, putting more chalk on her pool stick.
Ross went to hit the ball on the table and ended up flinging it off the table.
"No, I don't think so."
"I just can't help getting excited over pool tables." Phoebe said, getting ready to shoot her ball.
"Yeah me neither." Ross said, staring at Phoebe.
Phoebe hit the ball in the pocket. She went over to Ross' side to hit the next ball. Phoebe was prepping to take the shot. Ross couldn't help but stare at her. He had wanted to be with her on the night they made out on the pool table. The same exact one that is before them.
Phoebe was about to take the shot on the last ball on the table when Ross grabbed the stick and threw it across the room. He turned Phoebe around in one swift motion and started kissing her. She was shocked at first, but then returned his kisses. Ross laid Phoebe down on the pool table. This time they were gonna finish what they started.
Rachel sat on a paint bucket, and Joey sat on the floor still. Joey had gotten bored and decided to read the label on the different chemicals in the closet.
'Look at him.' Rachel thought. 'He's just sitting there, reading those labels. Does he care more about reading what's in..." Rachel stares at the label he is reading. She couldn't pronounce the name. 'Oh whatever. Still, how immature is he to just sit there and not talk about this?'
"Do you just plan on sitting there and not talk about this?" Joey said, still looking at and holding the bottle.
"I thought maybe that you wanted to talk about it first." Rachel said.
"I guess I have to do everything." Joey said, putting the bottle down.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Well.." Joey stood up. "I always take out the trash. I always sweep and clean the floor. And I always, always, always clean the toliet bowl."
"Well, it's gross." Rachel said, stadning up.
"And do you think it's pleasurable for me?"
"No. Maybe I'll start doing that stuff more often."
"No. You don't need to do that."
"What? I'll just sit around and be lazy? I want to do something."
"Well, what would you like to do?"
"I could...dust off the TV."
"Stevie never needs dusting."
"Stevie is a frigging inanimate object and needs to be cleaned."
"You're hurting his feelings. I guess you plan on upsetting Rosita too."
"What? Am I getting in the way with your 'relationship' with Rosita? I mean, have you gone to second base already with her?"
"Are you calling Rosita a slut?"
"I might be."
"Well, I would never stoop that low and make fun of your boyfriends."
"Oh. You mean that you didn't like some of my boyfriends?"
"Yeah! Paolo was easily confused for a chimp. Ross...well I ain't saying much, but I wouldn't get mad at you for trying to achieve things in your career. Josh, well from what I hear, he was blander than Monica's marinara sauce. And Tag, talk about lowering your standards." Joey said, going over to the sink and washing the chemicals off his hand.
"Oh really? That's what you think about my boyfriends? Well, I can't really make a list because we'd be in here for 5 billion years!"
"Too far Rachel." Joey swung around from the sink and got some water on Rachel.
"You splashed me!" Rachel said.
"Oh no. You're getting wet. Here's some more." Joey grabbing a spray nozzle by the sink, and spraying her.
Rachel opened the paint bucket she sat on and started splashing Joey with the paint.
The paint and water fest continued for a few more minutes. A completely soaked Rachel then picked the bucket up and splashed some more paint on Joey. Joey had paint all in his hair and some on his clothes.
Rachel put the bucket down and charged at Joey. She grabbed his shirt in the front. Joey let go of the spray nozzle, grabbed Rachel's wrists and pushed her against the wall. Both of them were breathing heavily. They stared at each other with such intensity.
'He looks so good all intense and covered in paint. I wish I was a wall.' Rachel thought.
'She looks so innocent and all wet.' Joey thought.
Joey let go of Rachel's wrists and kissed her. His hands reached her face and paint got all over her. Rachel returned the kiss with just as much intensity as he had before. Each of them became covered in paint as the rolled on the floor. Kissing, something that seemed to be the solution to their problem.
THE NEXT MORNING.....
By early morning, the pole had been cleared out of the door way.
Chandler and Monica woke up on the couch, full clothed.
"Uh. I have such a massive headache." Monica said, sitting up with her hand on her head.
"Hey...Where's Phoebe and Ross?" Chandler asked.
"Where were they last night?"
"Well, I asked them to see if the back door opens, and then they never came back."
"Those bastards must've left us here!"
Chandler and Monica got up and ran towards the back of the store. Chandler felt the ground give way beneath him. Monica fell too, and landed on top of Chandler.
"Oh my god!" Chandler said, as Monica laid on his arm.
Chandler and Monica got up and went into the room that was lit up. Ross and Phoebe laid on the pool table, full clothed, in each others clothes. Ross wearing Phoebe's long velvet, purple dress. Phoebe in Ross' gray pants and light blue buttoned shirt.
"Oh my God!" Monica said, seeing Phoebe and Ross in each others clothing.
"Took the words right out of my mouth." Chandler said.
Ross and Phoebe woke up, Ross looked over and saw Chandler and Monica. He fell off the pool table. Phoebe got off of it.
"What the hell is going on here?!" Ross asked.
"We should be asking you that question." Chandler said, gesturing at Ross and Phoebe.
"Well...we sort of...last night." Phoebe said.
"We figured that. But why, WHY are you in each others clothing?" Chandler asked.
"Have you not met Phoebe?" Monica asked Chandler.
"Where's Joey and Rachel?" Ross asked.
Joey and Rachel lay on the floor, wrapped in an old throw rug that used to lay on the floor. Rachel rested her head on Joey's chest, his arm wrapped around Rachel. They were still covered in paint and water.
"Hey." Joey said,quietly, waking up.
"Hey." Rachel said, still half asleep.
Joey lifted Rachel's chin up and kissed her. She responded with a light kiss.
"Last night...was amazing." Rachel said.
"Yeah." Joey said. "You won't give me grief, like those other guys, right?"
"No. And I'll apologize to Rosita when we get home."
"There won't be time to apologize to her." Joey said, kissing Rachel again.
"Hmm-mm" Rachel said, through kissing Joey.
"We should get dressed." Joey said.
"Yeah." Rachel said.
Both of them stood up at the same time, holding the rug around each other. Rachel and Joey faced each other. They started to kiss again.
"We really should get dressed." Joey said through kissing Rachel.
"Okay. Just...one more..minute." Rachel said.
After the minute was up, Joey and Rachel went looking for their clothes. Their clothes had been flung upon the shelves and all over the room.
"I guess we wanted it that much." Rachel said, dragging Joey and looking for her clothes.
"I still want it." Joey said, kissing Rachel.
"What happened to one minute?"
"One minute is extra long in my closet." Joey said, kissing Rachel again.
"That's not the only thing that is extra long." Rachel said, kissing Joey.
At that moment, Monica opened the door widely. Ross and Phoebe were still in each others clothes and Chandler stood next to Monica. Joey and Rachel looked over at all four of them.
"Oh my God!" Phoebe and Ross said.
"Oh my God!" Joey and Rachel said, looking at Ross and Phoebe.
"I think that caffeine is getting to me." Chandler said.
"I know!" Monica said.
"We can't find our clothing." Joey said.
"That doesn't seem to be a problem with the two of you. And it looks like you two are getting along now. I mean, you bonded pretty well." Chandler said.
"Can we go home? I feel...queasy." Monica said, feeling like she's going to throw up.
Ross and Phoebe left Central Perk wearing each other's clothing. Chandler ended up carrying Monica home, and Joey and Rachel walked home wrapped in the old throw rug.
The rain had fallen the night before, and now the sun has come out. The six friends walked home with their lives changed. Thanks to one fateful night at Central Perk. **************************************************************************** ** A/N: I know its a little lame. I hope you enjoyed my one chapter fic. I'd like some reviews on it. I will be getting back to AHATO in a day or so. So for now, I'll wait for reviews and watch some more of Shirtless Joey! Yours Truly. Read and Review!
Rain had start to fall. The droplets hit the pavement, creating puddles around the entrance to Central Perk. It was normal to have rain at this time of the year. In fact, it was the wettest July in New York history. As the rain fell, lightening and thunder danced in the sky. Creating a natural light show for anyone standing outside, or watching from inside.
All six of them had gathered in Central Perk for their usual chat. Sitting in the same spot that was always vacated when they went to the coffeehouse. No one else was there but the six of them and Gunther. Gunther had been cleaning up the place for business tommorrow.
"Hey Rachel. Do you mind closing up the place tonight? I know you haven't done it in a long time, but I have to get home to my mother. She's really sick." Gunther said, pulling Rachel aside from the group.
"Sure Gunther." Rachel said, taking the keys from him. Gunther grabbed his coat from the back and left.
Rachel sat back down on the couch. She sat next to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe. Ross sat in the sofa chair, and Joey sat in the chair by the table.
"I just found out today that you can't steal those little plastic rings that stores put the hankerchiefs on." Phoebe said.
"Why would you steal them anyway?" Monica asked.
"Well, I was gonna use them as cookie cutters." Phoebe said.
"I could've given you some. I have all kinds of shapes. I have hearts, clovers, dinosaurs--"
"Why do you have to upstage my cookie cutters?" Phoebe said, taking a sip of her coffee.
"You have dinosaur cookie cutters?" Ross said.
"Yeah. I took them from mom and dad's place." Monica said.
"I didn't know you had dinosaur cookie cutters."
"Yes you did. Remember I made those dinosaur cookies for you to bring in for career day at Ben's school?"
"Oh. Right. And you never found out that the cookies were just for me and not for career day?" Ross said, grabbing his cup of coffee. Monica shot him a look. "Well, now you know." Ross took a sip of his coffee
"I can't wait for tommorow." Joey said.
"Cause today was just as good." Chandler said.
"No. I'm auditioning for this role in the new Jack Nicholson movie. I could be playing Jack Nicholson's son at this time next year." Joey said
"Or you could be the son that ate the prize from the cereal box today." Rachel said, picking at her nails.
"Hey, those toys are small and mix in very well with the cereal." Joey said.
"The toy was black in a sea of Cheerios." Rachel said.
"Yeah well...at least I didn't try to take pictures of the woman that lives across from us."
"What's wrong with you man? She is so hot." Chandler said. Monica gave him a look. "Not as steaming hot as you."
"Joey, I was taking pictures of her to show to Ralph Lauren; She would be a good model for our new collection." Rachel said, aggravated.
"Oh. I'm sorry. I thought maybe you were becoming a lesbian." Joey said.
"That would make two of my ex-wives." Ross said.
"I am not a lesbian!" Rachel said, disgusted. "And you should be talking Mr.I-Bought-Teen-Beat-To-Check-Out-The-New-Pictures-Of-Justin- Timberlake."
Joey stood up and gasped.
"That's right. I saw the magazine, peeking out from in between your issue of Playboy." Rachel said standing up.
"That Teen Beat was stuck inside that Playboy."
"Yeah okay, Mr. Jack McFarland."
Joey and Rachel gave each other evil looks.
The other four were trying to sneak out of the coffeehouse as the argument continued. It seemed that Joey and Rachel have been fighting often. The things they fought about were the littlest of things. Rachel's privacy, The arrangement of the furniture, even where the cereal boxes go. Once they started fighting, nothing could stop them. The only thing the other four could do was leave the room anytime they fought.
As Chandler was about to open the door, a huge snap was heard outside. Lightening had struck the electric pole outside, and it came toppling down onto the ground, into the puddles by the entrance of Central Perk. Luckily, the electrical pole was for another block and didn't affect the lights inside.
"I think my life long search for irony is finally over." Phoebe said.
Joey and Rachel looked over to where the other four were leaving.
"See? Look what you made them do." Rachel said, gesturing towards the other four.
"What I did? You started all of this." Joey said.
"How did I start this?"
The two of them started arguing at the same time and their words became inaudible.
Monica went over to the two of them, grabbed them by the ear.
"I can't take you two fighting anymore. Look at what you are doing to each other." Phoebe said.
Joey and Rachel looked at each other.
"Now, say you're sorry, or I'll make you sorry." Monica said.
"Sorry." Joey and Rachel said.
"Good." Monica let go of their ears.
Phoebe walked away from the two of them.
"Great now my ear hurts." Rachel said
"Oh I suppose that's my fault." Joey said.
"No, but now that you mention it, it might be."
Joey and Rachel started arguing again.
Monica came over and grabbed their ears again. She dragged them over to the supply closet by the sofa chair, and put them in there.
"Now you two are gonna think about what you did. And don't come out until everything is sorted." Monica said, slamming the door shut.
Monica wiped her hands together. She turned around and saw that Ross and Phoebe were gone. "Where did Ross and Phoebe go?" Monica asked Chandler.
"They went to see if we could exit through the back door." Chandler said.
"You know ever since I found out I was pregnant, I've had such maternal instincts. Like just now, I told them to think about what they did.''
"Right after you were charged with child abuse."
"You better watch out, mister, or I'll yank something more precious than an ear." Chandler gave Monica a horrified look. "Your pride."
"Oh okay." Chandler said, wiping his forehead.
Ross and Phoebe went to the back of the store. The shelves were stacked with boxes of coffee and assorted condiments. Sugar, brown sugar, and some stirrers. The back of the store was dark. The only source of light was a bulb that had a metal string attached.
"Man no wonder Rachel hated this place." Ross said, looking around.
"Yeah. I mean, stealing coffee, stirrers, sugar, and coming home smelling from coffee. Yeah she didn't have it so bad." Phoebe said.
"Well, she had to deal with Teri."
"Yeah that bastard didn't like me either. But I got a hit song out of him."
"What song would that be?"
"Old Man Who Needed A Cane After I Kicked Him In The Shin."
"Oh." Ross said, taking a few steps closer to the back exit. He went to open it and found out the door was blocked by something. Ross tried to push with his side. He tried several times. Eventually, Ross took a few steps back and charged at the door with full force. He hit the door and fell to the ground in pain.
"Ross, are you okay?" Phoebe asked, kneeling down to his side.
"No. I could use some ice." Ross said, holding his right arm.
"I'll go get some." Phoebe said. She went to go get ice. As she walked, she felt the ground give way beneath her. She fell about 5 feet under ground.
"OH my god! Pheebs?! Are you okay?!" Ross crawled to the hole, yelling down at Phoebe.
"Oh just dandy! I feel down a few feet landing on marshmallows! Yeah Ross, I'm fine!"
"Okay, I'll get some help."
"No Ross. I really did land on marshmallows!" Phoebe said, yelling up to him. "Wow, I didn't even know this place existed down here. If this is hell, I like it." Phoebe started to walk around the newly found space. She searched for a light switch. She found one near a door, and turned it on. The light filled the space. Phoebe gasped. Phoebe went back to the hole she fell down. "Ross! Come down here!" Phoebe yelled up.
"Great. Another injury to add to my list." Ross said, climbing his way down.
Joey and Rachel were on opposite ends of the closet. Rachel was closer to the door, leaning on a metal shelf of different chemicals. Joey sat on the hard cement floor, leaning against a big sink. They hadn't spoken in 10 minutes. What was going on, they couldn't even comprehend. Even sitting in silence was something they never did before.
"This is an awkward silence." Joey said, sitting Indian style on the floor.
"Well, you know who made us stay in here in the first place." Rachel said, switching feet and looking at the floor.
"Oh okay, here we go again."
"I was gonna say Monica. Why do you have such a guilty conscience?"
"I'm sorry, I'm not quite sure what you mean by that."
"Oh god. Here we go again, I have to explain everything to you."
"You don't explain everything to me."
"I had to explain to you that joke in Playboy."
"Well, I'm sorry, I wasted your time with your busy day of primping yourself."
"Well, excuse me for trying to look nice."
"You don't need all that make up to look nice."
"Well, you don't---I don't?"
"No, you don't."
Another long silence ensued the room. All conversations seemed to end the same way. No real resolution. No reason for fighting. Just bickering.
"I can't believe we are stuck in here." Monica said, coming back from the payphones.
"What did 911 say?" Chandler asked.
"They said that we have to wait here until the rain stops. And then I said 'Well what happens if this place becomes flooded and a pregnant woman inside escapes the flooded place and comes down to sue your ass?'"
"What'd they say?"
"They said that I'd have to wait."
"Well, I guess we have lots of time to kill."
"What can we do all this time?"
Chandler and Monica thought for a few moments.
"Let's drink and eat everything in sight!" Chandler said.
"Okay!" Monica said, enthusiastically.
Phoebe took Ross to a room. When Ross walked in, he saw a set up just like the bar that existed before Central Perk. The pool table, with the colorful cone lights. The jukebox, with songs that were never changed. The old shelf that contained the liqour. Everything looked the same, just underground.
"Wow. It's just like before Central Perk." Ross said.
"Now I wish I worked here." Phoebe said, walking towards the center of the room.
"I know. Everything looks the same. I thought maybe things were auctioned off."
"I thought maybe the things were pawned. And the money that Chris made, he would use it to make a new place. A place where we can all hang out. With comfy furniture and the smell of a natural aroma that fills the place. And maybe the place, would have a living room feel to it."
"Phoebe, we know that place." Ross said.
"Really? Where is it?" Phoebe said, all excited.
Ross rolled his eyes.
"I remember the night we almost did it on the pool table." Phoebe said, gesturing over at the pool table.
"I know. Me too." Ross said, his eyes meeting Phoebe's.
There was a silence for a few moments.
"Say, I think there is some liquor this time." Ross said, going over to the shelf with the liquor on it.
"Oh yea! I wanna get drunk!" Phoebe said.
Ross took out some liquor and passed some to Phoebe.
Chandler and Monica were laughing really hard. They were sitting behind the counter.
"HAHAHAA!!! I can't believe you thought Richard was a tree." Monica said.
"Yeah!! I know!" Chandler said in a Monica way
"I KNOW!!" Monica said.
"I think we had lots of caffeine. How much did you have?" Chandler asked.
"About 20.55 cups" Monica said, drinking some more coffee.
"Is there such a number?" Chandler said, rather posh like.
"It is when you can't see your own feet."
"I can't see my hands." Chandler said.
"Oh well. It's not a real number!" Monica said, laughing out loud.
"Hey lets play a game. If you can see certain parts of my body, you drink more coffee. If I can see certain parts of your body, I do the same."
"Okay!"
"Okay. Can you see my nose?" Chandler asked.
"Um...yeah." Monica said, taking some coffee. "Can you see my boobs?"
"Definitely." Chandler said, drinking some coffee. "Can you see my lips?"
Monica leaned over and kissed Chandler. "Yes I can." Monica said almost touching his lips.
"Can you--" Chandler started to say.
"Don't you know when to be quiet?" Monica said, kissing Chandler.
Phoebe and Ross have had quite a few drinks by now. They were laughing and having a good time.
"So Carol and Susan did on your couch once?" Phoebe asked, shooting pool.
"Yep. I had to clean the couch more than once. I didn't want Ben questioning me." Ross said, holding the pool stick up.
Phoebe misses the pocket and Ross goes.
"So where else have they done it?" Phoebe said.
"Why do you wanna know?"
"So that I can keep a tally on where I need to do it next."
"Okay. I know that they did it at each others workplace, a supermarket, a cattle farm, Starbucks."
"Have they...done it on a pool table?" Phoebe questioned, putting more chalk on her pool stick.
Ross went to hit the ball on the table and ended up flinging it off the table.
"No, I don't think so."
"I just can't help getting excited over pool tables." Phoebe said, getting ready to shoot her ball.
"Yeah me neither." Ross said, staring at Phoebe.
Phoebe hit the ball in the pocket. She went over to Ross' side to hit the next ball. Phoebe was prepping to take the shot. Ross couldn't help but stare at her. He had wanted to be with her on the night they made out on the pool table. The same exact one that is before them.
Phoebe was about to take the shot on the last ball on the table when Ross grabbed the stick and threw it across the room. He turned Phoebe around in one swift motion and started kissing her. She was shocked at first, but then returned his kisses. Ross laid Phoebe down on the pool table. This time they were gonna finish what they started.
Rachel sat on a paint bucket, and Joey sat on the floor still. Joey had gotten bored and decided to read the label on the different chemicals in the closet.
'Look at him.' Rachel thought. 'He's just sitting there, reading those labels. Does he care more about reading what's in..." Rachel stares at the label he is reading. She couldn't pronounce the name. 'Oh whatever. Still, how immature is he to just sit there and not talk about this?'
"Do you just plan on sitting there and not talk about this?" Joey said, still looking at and holding the bottle.
"I thought maybe that you wanted to talk about it first." Rachel said.
"I guess I have to do everything." Joey said, putting the bottle down.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Well.." Joey stood up. "I always take out the trash. I always sweep and clean the floor. And I always, always, always clean the toliet bowl."
"Well, it's gross." Rachel said, stadning up.
"And do you think it's pleasurable for me?"
"No. Maybe I'll start doing that stuff more often."
"No. You don't need to do that."
"What? I'll just sit around and be lazy? I want to do something."
"Well, what would you like to do?"
"I could...dust off the TV."
"Stevie never needs dusting."
"Stevie is a frigging inanimate object and needs to be cleaned."
"You're hurting his feelings. I guess you plan on upsetting Rosita too."
"What? Am I getting in the way with your 'relationship' with Rosita? I mean, have you gone to second base already with her?"
"Are you calling Rosita a slut?"
"I might be."
"Well, I would never stoop that low and make fun of your boyfriends."
"Oh. You mean that you didn't like some of my boyfriends?"
"Yeah! Paolo was easily confused for a chimp. Ross...well I ain't saying much, but I wouldn't get mad at you for trying to achieve things in your career. Josh, well from what I hear, he was blander than Monica's marinara sauce. And Tag, talk about lowering your standards." Joey said, going over to the sink and washing the chemicals off his hand.
"Oh really? That's what you think about my boyfriends? Well, I can't really make a list because we'd be in here for 5 billion years!"
"Too far Rachel." Joey swung around from the sink and got some water on Rachel.
"You splashed me!" Rachel said.
"Oh no. You're getting wet. Here's some more." Joey grabbing a spray nozzle by the sink, and spraying her.
Rachel opened the paint bucket she sat on and started splashing Joey with the paint.
The paint and water fest continued for a few more minutes. A completely soaked Rachel then picked the bucket up and splashed some more paint on Joey. Joey had paint all in his hair and some on his clothes.
Rachel put the bucket down and charged at Joey. She grabbed his shirt in the front. Joey let go of the spray nozzle, grabbed Rachel's wrists and pushed her against the wall. Both of them were breathing heavily. They stared at each other with such intensity.
'He looks so good all intense and covered in paint. I wish I was a wall.' Rachel thought.
'She looks so innocent and all wet.' Joey thought.
Joey let go of Rachel's wrists and kissed her. His hands reached her face and paint got all over her. Rachel returned the kiss with just as much intensity as he had before. Each of them became covered in paint as the rolled on the floor. Kissing, something that seemed to be the solution to their problem.
THE NEXT MORNING.....
By early morning, the pole had been cleared out of the door way.
Chandler and Monica woke up on the couch, full clothed.
"Uh. I have such a massive headache." Monica said, sitting up with her hand on her head.
"Hey...Where's Phoebe and Ross?" Chandler asked.
"Where were they last night?"
"Well, I asked them to see if the back door opens, and then they never came back."
"Those bastards must've left us here!"
Chandler and Monica got up and ran towards the back of the store. Chandler felt the ground give way beneath him. Monica fell too, and landed on top of Chandler.
"Oh my god!" Chandler said, as Monica laid on his arm.
Chandler and Monica got up and went into the room that was lit up. Ross and Phoebe laid on the pool table, full clothed, in each others clothes. Ross wearing Phoebe's long velvet, purple dress. Phoebe in Ross' gray pants and light blue buttoned shirt.
"Oh my God!" Monica said, seeing Phoebe and Ross in each others clothing.
"Took the words right out of my mouth." Chandler said.
Ross and Phoebe woke up, Ross looked over and saw Chandler and Monica. He fell off the pool table. Phoebe got off of it.
"What the hell is going on here?!" Ross asked.
"We should be asking you that question." Chandler said, gesturing at Ross and Phoebe.
"Well...we sort of...last night." Phoebe said.
"We figured that. But why, WHY are you in each others clothing?" Chandler asked.
"Have you not met Phoebe?" Monica asked Chandler.
"Where's Joey and Rachel?" Ross asked.
Joey and Rachel lay on the floor, wrapped in an old throw rug that used to lay on the floor. Rachel rested her head on Joey's chest, his arm wrapped around Rachel. They were still covered in paint and water.
"Hey." Joey said,quietly, waking up.
"Hey." Rachel said, still half asleep.
Joey lifted Rachel's chin up and kissed her. She responded with a light kiss.
"Last night...was amazing." Rachel said.
"Yeah." Joey said. "You won't give me grief, like those other guys, right?"
"No. And I'll apologize to Rosita when we get home."
"There won't be time to apologize to her." Joey said, kissing Rachel again.
"Hmm-mm" Rachel said, through kissing Joey.
"We should get dressed." Joey said.
"Yeah." Rachel said.
Both of them stood up at the same time, holding the rug around each other. Rachel and Joey faced each other. They started to kiss again.
"We really should get dressed." Joey said through kissing Rachel.
"Okay. Just...one more..minute." Rachel said.
After the minute was up, Joey and Rachel went looking for their clothes. Their clothes had been flung upon the shelves and all over the room.
"I guess we wanted it that much." Rachel said, dragging Joey and looking for her clothes.
"I still want it." Joey said, kissing Rachel.
"What happened to one minute?"
"One minute is extra long in my closet." Joey said, kissing Rachel again.
"That's not the only thing that is extra long." Rachel said, kissing Joey.
At that moment, Monica opened the door widely. Ross and Phoebe were still in each others clothes and Chandler stood next to Monica. Joey and Rachel looked over at all four of them.
"Oh my God!" Phoebe and Ross said.
"Oh my God!" Joey and Rachel said, looking at Ross and Phoebe.
"I think that caffeine is getting to me." Chandler said.
"I know!" Monica said.
"We can't find our clothing." Joey said.
"That doesn't seem to be a problem with the two of you. And it looks like you two are getting along now. I mean, you bonded pretty well." Chandler said.
"Can we go home? I feel...queasy." Monica said, feeling like she's going to throw up.
Ross and Phoebe left Central Perk wearing each other's clothing. Chandler ended up carrying Monica home, and Joey and Rachel walked home wrapped in the old throw rug.
The rain had fallen the night before, and now the sun has come out. The six friends walked home with their lives changed. Thanks to one fateful night at Central Perk. **************************************************************************** ** A/N: I know its a little lame. I hope you enjoyed my one chapter fic. I'd like some reviews on it. I will be getting back to AHATO in a day or so. So for now, I'll wait for reviews and watch some more of Shirtless Joey! Yours Truly. Read and Review!