The Proposal
A year and a half earlier…
Jag stood on the rooftop of the docking bay, his eyes on the rising sun. A feeling of serenity settled over him as he enjoyed one of the few moments of silence he had on this crowded base. There always seemed to be someone wanting to talk to him or needing him to do something…he just needed an hour or so to himself and his thoughts. Nowadays, his thoughts were full of one particular woman. Flying with Jaina was a blessing and a curse. A blessing because he could protect her and a curse because should anything happen to her, he'd be there to see it—and it would haunt his nightmares for the rest of his life.
When he'd been younger, he'd seen the love between his parents, but couldn't really see himself in the same position with a woman. Growing up with the Chiss, Jag had learned to put a damper on his more human emotions and icy was one of more popular adjectives to describe him. It wasn't until Jaina Solo had flown into his life, did he understand the look that would come on his father's face whenever his mother walked into the room. Romantic was hardly a word one would apply to Jagged Fel but his mother always said that it took the right woman to change a man. He didn't realize how empty his life had been before Jaina, but he knew how empty it would be without her. It seemed to Jag that there was only one way to remedy the situation, but that didn't prevent the knot from forming in his stomach.
As if on cue, he could hear Jaina's familiar footsteps coming up behind him. He turned his head to throw her a smile and the smile he got in return was brighter than the sun rising. She went to his side and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He put his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him.
"What are you doing up so early?"
"The same question can be applied to you."
"Will I ever get a straight answer from you?" Jaina said, shaking her head.
"Who knows."
She laughed and the sound warmed his heart. Jaina didn't laugh enough, and he only hoped that since the war with the Vong was over, he'd hear it more often—which meant she'd have to be around him more often.
"You should be getting more rest now that you have the chance to," he said.
"Same can be applied to you," she mocked. "I've got some things on my mind."
"Like what?"
She looked up at him, a serious light in her eyes. It seemed to him that she was strengthening herself for something and was a little afraid of what she had in store for him.
"You. Us," Jaina said. "Are you going back to the Chiss, Jag?"
"Depends."
"On what?"
"Whether or not I'll have a place to stay here."
Jaina stiffened. "I'm sure my uncle or my mother will be able to find a place for you."
"What about you?"
"What about me."
Letting out an exasperated breath, Jag pulled her into his arms. She stayed tense for a moment before relaxing against him.
"Sorry. Force of habit," she said, her voice muffled as she buried her face in his chest.
"I suppose I'll have to get used to it," he sighed. "After already suffering through months of this, I somehow doubt that it will change anytime soon. You do like being…" His voice faded off as he searched for the right world.
"Mysterious?" she supplied.
"Not quite," he said, amused. "Difficult is the word I'm looking for."
"And you love it."
"I am a masochist."
"So you'll stay," she said happily, beaming another smile at him.
He took a deep breath. It was now or…later. "I'll have to stay if we're married."
Jag could not find the strength to look at her, focusing on a spot on the low wall behind her, even when the silence stretched on for longer than he could stand. Neither of them said anything for a time but Jag found hope in the fact that Jaina hadn't pulled out of his embrace. Finally, she reached up and grabbed the collar of his uniform, forcing him to look at her. Tears flooded her eyes, but she was smiling.
"I love you, you Imperial pompous, arrogant fighter jockey, and if you call that a proposal, then yes, I will marry you."
He grinned so widely that he was afraid his face would split. Letting out a whoop that was very un-Jaglike, he lifted her in his arms and they laughed joyfully, the sound drawing the stares of those walking below them. It had been a long time since any of them had heard the innocent sound of exuberant laughter and it was a welcome sound. Among those walking about was Jacen and he recognized the two figures entwined on the rooftops. A crooked smile replaced his somber expression and he had to fight the impulse to run to his mother and tell her before Jaina could. Amused at himself, Jacen walked on, his hands in his pockets.
* * *
War had taught them all that time was precious and so they wasted no time in preparing for the wedding. Jaina and Jag's wedding would not reach the splendor of Han and Leia's, but neither of them had wanted a big ceremony to begin with. Using old smuggler connections, Han managed to get the more luxurious supplies they would need, while General Wedge Antilles, as a favor to his nephew, used his rank to obtain supplies on base that normally wouldn't be open to them. Jag sent two of his pilots home in order to tell his parents of his impending nuptials with the hope that they would be able to attend. Leia was in her element, organizing the ceremony and reception with Threepio at her heels. Jaina's stress level was at a new high as she searched for a suitable gown to wear, wishing that she hadn't cursed all the dresses her mother made her wear, thinking that she was being punished for it now. Jacen was the only calm in the storm, his sure hand guiding his ruffled family members when they came to him for help.
Two weeks before the scheduled date, Jag was sitting at the same place where he'd asked Jaina to marry him, a datapad in his hand. On its screen was a rough sketch that Jag had been working on since he'd decided to ask Jaina to be his wife. He preferred to act rather than speak, and this little project said it all. He'd poured his heart into it and as he looked at it, he wondered if it was adequate. A set of footsteps caught his attention, but its heavy tread was fortunately not Jaina's. Jag turned and saw her brother coming towards him.
"You like it up here," Jacen remarked.
"It's quiet. Were you looking for me?"
"No. I was looking for some quiet."
"You found it."
Jacen sat next to him, throwing a curious glance at the datapad Jag had surreptitiously put away from his view. Jag caught the look and sighed, picking the datapad back up and handing it to Jacen. The younger man's eyebrows arched in surprise as he got a good look at the sketch. The design on the wide band was difficult to describe, but it made Jacen think of a star going nova, of beams of light stretching out into infinity. It wasn't that lines were carved onto the surface, but more like the metal was pounded in certain places to give that impression. Jacen was sure that the ring would never look the same under the light.
"This is Jaina's wedding ring," Jacen stated.
"Yes."
"You did this?"
"I did."
"I didn't know you were an artist, Jag."
"It's just something I do in my free time."
"Does Jaina know you can do this?"
"No."
"It's…it's perfect."
Jacen felt the equivalent of Jag releasing a breath in the Force though his countenance was studiously blank. However, a sparkle of pride did gleam in his green eyes.
"You think she'll like it?"
"She'll love it. Is it being made?"
Jag tensed. "Not quite. I wasn't sure if I was going to have this made or get her something that she chooses herself."
"I might be able to help you. I think one of the engineers in the bay is a metalworker…"
"I can do this."
Jacen blinked. "You're kidding."
Jag shrugged. "There wasn't much to do at home when I wasn't flying. But I do need your help with something."
"No problem."
"It's going to take me a while to do this, but Jaina will wonder where I am if I disappear for days at a time…especially so close before the wedding. Do you think you could cover my tracks?"
"Consider it done."
Jag smiled. "Thank you, Jacen."
"What are brothers for?"
The two men exchanged a warm glance, both having lost brothers to war, both happy to gain another.
"Well, you better get a move on with that ring," Jacen said, looking down at the design. "I'm no metalworker, but I don't think that's going to be easy. What metal are you going to use?"
"I was going to take some metal from her X-Wing and my fighter."
Jacen shook his head, impressed. "Who would have thought you were such a romantic."
Before Jag could respond, Jacen turned around quickly, hiding the datapad from view from Jaina who appeared at the rooftop access hatch. Jacen handed it to Jag smoothly and turned around to block him as Jag pocketed it. Had Jaina been her usual self, she would have noticed something awry, but since she was bleary eyed and hungry, she was just happy to see that neither of them wanted anything from her. After fielding questions from everyone from her mother to Lowie, she just wanted to sit with Jag and be coddled.
"What are you two doing up here?" Jaina asked.
"Hiding from the craziness down there," Jacen replied as he eyed his sister's rather dazed look. "But I think it found us anyway."
Jaina made a face at him as Jag put an arm around her waist. "Funny, Jace. If you had to put a wedding together in a month, you'd get a little crazy too."
"Who says I haven't?"
Jag carefully steered Jaina around her brother. "Let's get something to eat. I have this feeling that you haven't eaten since dinner last night."
"No time."
"I'll go take care of things," Jag said. "You stay up here with Jacen and rest."
She kissed him and it was a testament to her exhaustion that she didn't protest. "Thank you."
Jag smiled at her, threw Jacen a look, and left. Jacen put an arm around her sister and she rested her head on his shoulder.
"What are you two up to?" she asked.
"We were just talking. He's a good man, Jaina."
She managed a small smile. "He is. I'm lucky to have found him and I'm glad that you like him."
They lapsed into silence and Jacen would have just enjoyed the quiet time had he not felt the small ripple in the Force coming from his sister. He frowned and looked down at her. She must have been taking lessons from Jag because her expression was neutral, but he knew better. There was something in her eyes…
"What's wrong?" he asked, frowning.
She sighed and closed her eyes, a line forming between her eyebrows as her face tightened. When she opened them again, they were shiny with emotions.
"I just wish that we were all here for my wedding day," she said, her voice heavy.
Unbidden, the memory of Anakin's last few hours of life flashed through Jacen's mind and he had to fight for control. He'd said his goodbyes to his brother, but the wound would always be there, the empty space in his life that Anakin used to fill. He took a deep breath. A dozen words of consolation were on the tip of his tongue, but he knew they weren't what Jaina needed to hear.
"So do I," he said simply.