The Black Years
I was punished when they escaped.
We all were - but I was in charge of the group that fell apart. We were the young ones, the new ones, and Regulus Black was among them, and even as I lay shuddering on the ground from the afteraffects of the curses, of the pain, I was more frightened when I heard him scream. I was more frightened of what his brother could do if he thought me at fault, if he saw Regulus' pale face.
There were only two women in the Fold, and one of them, the one whose name I did not know, pulled me to my feet when the Dark Lord and his three Inner Circle rings were gone. The other I knew by reputation - the woman engaged to Lucius Malfoy, we all knew who she was - but this woman was dark-haired instead of golden-haired, and her hand pulling me up was cold but not indifferent. She studied me, and in the few seconds that her eyes swept mine I felt a cold chill run down my spine and I knew I was being examined. I felt myself stiffen.
I should have been surprised when she introduced herself as Narcissa Black's sister, should have been amazed that there could be such a difference.
"We'll be after the Potters again, I assume," I said quietly, trying to still my shaking limbs.
"Do not assume things of the Dark Lord," she said almost casually, "but yes, when the time comes, we will, and you will not fail him again."
"Never," I responded like lightning. I was still trying to figure out which of the three rings she was in, which he would place her in. She seemed to be more of a judge than a Circle member, though, and so I would have to try my best to look loyal but sharp, and not pathetically loyal, not letting on that I knew what she was doing - but then, she knew that I knew. I had a feeling that she knew everything that went on within the circle.
"I suggest you not let any of the Circle hear you say that," and now she sounded coldly amused. "They might take it as more of a promise than I do, and they don't take well to promises being broken. You will fail him again, Severus. You will fail him, and you will scream for it. But I do not think he will kill you."
"I know that if he kills me, I will have given him sufficient reason." Snape forced his voice to do what he wished it to - and indeed, it did not tremble, nor did it betray his anger at her almost-mocking eyes. But neither did it sound swift and loyal. Perhaps it was convincing enough, though, because the chuckle that he thought was on her lips died at his words.
"Have you ever wished you had not joined the Fold, Severus?"
"Yes," Severus said - and he knew, somehow, that this was the answer she was looking for. Of course he had. And so had she. If he said anything different, he would be lying and she would know it.
She raised a cool eyebrow, obviously impressed with his nerve and insight. "And would you ever consider treason a significant option, in dire circumstances?"
"Treason?" He controlled his face perfectly, smoothed it and made it look confused. "As you know very well, I took an oath when I received the Mark on my arm. I would die before betraying the Dark Lord."
And he found, to his surprise, that for the moment, it was the truth, although perhaps it would not always be.
"Very well," she said, and this time her voice conveyed real emotion - she was impressed, very much so, and surprised, but not displeased. "Well, I have no doubt that you belong in the First Ring of the Circles, Severus. You will Apparate when the Mark burns, not to this spot, but to the place that this Portkey will take you in twenty minutes." She pressed a smoky marble into his black-gloved hand. "For now, you will wait here alone. The Dark Lord and the Heads of each Circle - yes, the Circles have Heads, Severus, don't be foolish - will Apparate here soon, and will speak to you for approximately fifteen minutes. The Dark Lord will activate your Portkey then so that you will know where to go. Do you understand me?"
"Yes," he said, feeling slightly faint. She had said alone - and as he looked around, he realized that all the rest were gone. Unnerved, he wondered when they had all Disapparated.
"Welcome to the Inner Fold, Severus," she said with a very cold smile, and vanished with a very quiet pop.
I was punished when they escaped.
We all were - but I was in charge of the group that fell apart. We were the young ones, the new ones, and Regulus Black was among them, and even as I lay shuddering on the ground from the afteraffects of the curses, of the pain, I was more frightened when I heard him scream. I was more frightened of what his brother could do if he thought me at fault, if he saw Regulus' pale face.
There were only two women in the Fold, and one of them, the one whose name I did not know, pulled me to my feet when the Dark Lord and his three Inner Circle rings were gone. The other I knew by reputation - the woman engaged to Lucius Malfoy, we all knew who she was - but this woman was dark-haired instead of golden-haired, and her hand pulling me up was cold but not indifferent. She studied me, and in the few seconds that her eyes swept mine I felt a cold chill run down my spine and I knew I was being examined. I felt myself stiffen.
I should have been surprised when she introduced herself as Narcissa Black's sister, should have been amazed that there could be such a difference.
"We'll be after the Potters again, I assume," I said quietly, trying to still my shaking limbs.
"Do not assume things of the Dark Lord," she said almost casually, "but yes, when the time comes, we will, and you will not fail him again."
"Never," I responded like lightning. I was still trying to figure out which of the three rings she was in, which he would place her in. She seemed to be more of a judge than a Circle member, though, and so I would have to try my best to look loyal but sharp, and not pathetically loyal, not letting on that I knew what she was doing - but then, she knew that I knew. I had a feeling that she knew everything that went on within the circle.
"I suggest you not let any of the Circle hear you say that," and now she sounded coldly amused. "They might take it as more of a promise than I do, and they don't take well to promises being broken. You will fail him again, Severus. You will fail him, and you will scream for it. But I do not think he will kill you."
"I know that if he kills me, I will have given him sufficient reason." Snape forced his voice to do what he wished it to - and indeed, it did not tremble, nor did it betray his anger at her almost-mocking eyes. But neither did it sound swift and loyal. Perhaps it was convincing enough, though, because the chuckle that he thought was on her lips died at his words.
"Have you ever wished you had not joined the Fold, Severus?"
"Yes," Severus said - and he knew, somehow, that this was the answer she was looking for. Of course he had. And so had she. If he said anything different, he would be lying and she would know it.
She raised a cool eyebrow, obviously impressed with his nerve and insight. "And would you ever consider treason a significant option, in dire circumstances?"
"Treason?" He controlled his face perfectly, smoothed it and made it look confused. "As you know very well, I took an oath when I received the Mark on my arm. I would die before betraying the Dark Lord."
And he found, to his surprise, that for the moment, it was the truth, although perhaps it would not always be.
"Very well," she said, and this time her voice conveyed real emotion - she was impressed, very much so, and surprised, but not displeased. "Well, I have no doubt that you belong in the First Ring of the Circles, Severus. You will Apparate when the Mark burns, not to this spot, but to the place that this Portkey will take you in twenty minutes." She pressed a smoky marble into his black-gloved hand. "For now, you will wait here alone. The Dark Lord and the Heads of each Circle - yes, the Circles have Heads, Severus, don't be foolish - will Apparate here soon, and will speak to you for approximately fifteen minutes. The Dark Lord will activate your Portkey then so that you will know where to go. Do you understand me?"
"Yes," he said, feeling slightly faint. She had said alone - and as he looked around, he realized that all the rest were gone. Unnerved, he wondered when they had all Disapparated.
"Welcome to the Inner Fold, Severus," she said with a very cold smile, and vanished with a very quiet pop.