DISCLAIMERS: As every one knows, I don't own jack diddily shnit. but. I
know who does. J.K. Rowling does! AHA! Okie pokie here's the deal. I have
dibs on the original fic plot, so I would really appreciate it if nobody
stole it cause.IT'S MINE YOU HEAR ALL MINE AHA(rubs hands together
greedily). Also, the 5ft bamboo stick named ARP is property of my cousin
and fellow Harry Potter junky/Otaku/fic author, Wingfright, so refrain from
stealing that, also. This fic contains HARSH LANGUAGE, OLD PEOPLE VIOLENCE,
and. X-TREME PINEAPPLE ACTION! AHA! Also. I warn you that my punctuation
skillz suck major ass, so DON'T JUDGE ME! AHA! If you have any
questions/comments/whatever e-mail me. and stuff. I'll try to update as
much as I possibly can. May your lives be filled with tangy pineapple
goodness! AHA! ~GoGo Pineapple~
~PART 1: IN THE HOME~
" The Magical Happy Rainbow Valley Assisted Living Home for the Ailing Magical Community. hmmm," thought Harry to himself looking around the very bright waiting room of the establishment.
"I can't hardly believe I've reached the point in my life where I would be forced to live in one of these places. Hermione said it's 'just like living in an apartment, accept with constant monitering and supervision'. At least I'll get to be near Ron and Hermione again. Thank Merlin!"
Harry took another gander around the horribly cheerful, pastel waiting room. The walls were a faded baby pink with pictures of flower arrangements tacked on them. They contrasted badly with the stained, powder blue carpeting that covered the floor. A few stratigicly placed tables and chairs littered the room. On the table nearest to Harry sat an outdated issue of 'Witch Weekly' with an all to familiar face on the cover.
"Holy Jeebus! It's my old Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Gilderoy Lockhart! Gee wiz this magazine must be about 80 years old, I reckon!"
Harry looked at his former teachers face with great dislike. Lockhart replied by winking and flashing his pearly whites at him. Harry dropped the magazine, purely disgusted with it. He started to stomp on Gilderoy's putrid face when he heard an insanely, sugar sweet voice say.
"Uhhh. excuse me. Mr. Potter."
Harry looked up to see a peppy looking, fake beach blonde woman with a big chest.
"You are Mr. Harry Potter, aren't you?"
"Uhhggghh. yeah. I guess I am." Harry managed to say, casting his gaze upwards toward her face.
"Oh good! My name is Nurse Candi, Candi with an 'i', by the way. I've to take you on a tour of the 'home' before I dump you off in your room, kay!" she said with a smile.
"Umm. that's great, but I'm supposed to be waiting for my two friends, Ron and Hermione. They promised to take me on a tour. a 3 hour tour."
Just as soon as Harry snapped out of his 'Gilligan moment', he heard a loud squeeking sound, much like the squeeking of old, rusty wheels. The mystry of the squeeking was soon solved when he saw Hermione pushing an overweigt, sleeping Ron in an ancient wheelchair.
"Oh Harry, how splendid it is to see you. Ron dear. oh Ron. RON!" Hermione yelled at her sleeping husband. Ron was suddenly jolted awake by her screams.
"Ahhh! Oh My Jeebus, where the Hell am I?!" He swivled his head around violently, looking every which way until he spotted Harry grining at him fondly. "Hiya Harry, how are you old chap?"
"Oh Harry, you'll have to excuse him. he goes delirious like that sometimes," said Hermione, sighingand shaking her frizzy gray haired head, "what ever are we going to do with you, Ron? Sometimes I wonder why I even married you!"
"Super duper! Now Mr. and Mrs. Weasley can join us!" chirped Nurse Candi, clapping gleefully, "Shall we get going then?" Harry stood up and reached for his aluminum plated, wheeled walker. "Okie dokie. Let's go!"
END OF PART 1
COMING UP NEXT IN PART 2
Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Nurse Candi make their way through the nursing home. One of them is beaten with a 5 ft. bamboo stick named ARP, but, who will it be and. WHY? Find out which Hogwarts professor is locked in a 'Pysco Ward'. and WHY? And. who is Harry's new roommate, and WHY would these two seniors be put in a room together? Learn all this and MORE in the next part of. THE MAGICAL HAPPY RAINBOW VALLEY ASSISTED LIVING HOME FOR THE AILING MAGICAL COMMUNITY!!!
~PART 1: IN THE HOME~
" The Magical Happy Rainbow Valley Assisted Living Home for the Ailing Magical Community. hmmm," thought Harry to himself looking around the very bright waiting room of the establishment.
"I can't hardly believe I've reached the point in my life where I would be forced to live in one of these places. Hermione said it's 'just like living in an apartment, accept with constant monitering and supervision'. At least I'll get to be near Ron and Hermione again. Thank Merlin!"
Harry took another gander around the horribly cheerful, pastel waiting room. The walls were a faded baby pink with pictures of flower arrangements tacked on them. They contrasted badly with the stained, powder blue carpeting that covered the floor. A few stratigicly placed tables and chairs littered the room. On the table nearest to Harry sat an outdated issue of 'Witch Weekly' with an all to familiar face on the cover.
"Holy Jeebus! It's my old Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Gilderoy Lockhart! Gee wiz this magazine must be about 80 years old, I reckon!"
Harry looked at his former teachers face with great dislike. Lockhart replied by winking and flashing his pearly whites at him. Harry dropped the magazine, purely disgusted with it. He started to stomp on Gilderoy's putrid face when he heard an insanely, sugar sweet voice say.
"Uhhh. excuse me. Mr. Potter."
Harry looked up to see a peppy looking, fake beach blonde woman with a big chest.
"You are Mr. Harry Potter, aren't you?"
"Uhhggghh. yeah. I guess I am." Harry managed to say, casting his gaze upwards toward her face.
"Oh good! My name is Nurse Candi, Candi with an 'i', by the way. I've to take you on a tour of the 'home' before I dump you off in your room, kay!" she said with a smile.
"Umm. that's great, but I'm supposed to be waiting for my two friends, Ron and Hermione. They promised to take me on a tour. a 3 hour tour."
Just as soon as Harry snapped out of his 'Gilligan moment', he heard a loud squeeking sound, much like the squeeking of old, rusty wheels. The mystry of the squeeking was soon solved when he saw Hermione pushing an overweigt, sleeping Ron in an ancient wheelchair.
"Oh Harry, how splendid it is to see you. Ron dear. oh Ron. RON!" Hermione yelled at her sleeping husband. Ron was suddenly jolted awake by her screams.
"Ahhh! Oh My Jeebus, where the Hell am I?!" He swivled his head around violently, looking every which way until he spotted Harry grining at him fondly. "Hiya Harry, how are you old chap?"
"Oh Harry, you'll have to excuse him. he goes delirious like that sometimes," said Hermione, sighingand shaking her frizzy gray haired head, "what ever are we going to do with you, Ron? Sometimes I wonder why I even married you!"
"Super duper! Now Mr. and Mrs. Weasley can join us!" chirped Nurse Candi, clapping gleefully, "Shall we get going then?" Harry stood up and reached for his aluminum plated, wheeled walker. "Okie dokie. Let's go!"
END OF PART 1
COMING UP NEXT IN PART 2
Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Nurse Candi make their way through the nursing home. One of them is beaten with a 5 ft. bamboo stick named ARP, but, who will it be and. WHY? Find out which Hogwarts professor is locked in a 'Pysco Ward'. and WHY? And. who is Harry's new roommate, and WHY would these two seniors be put in a room together? Learn all this and MORE in the next part of. THE MAGICAL HAPPY RAINBOW VALLEY ASSISTED LIVING HOME FOR THE AILING MAGICAL COMMUNITY!!!