Chapter 6 - Common Misconceptions
They learned through the course of their discussions that Chel was currently living out of the tent. It was larger than it first appeared, and a flap which they had earlier assumed to be the back of the tent pulled back to reveal another room as big again as the one they were in that was outfitted as a living chamber. She offered them to stay the night if they wished, and they were all too happy to accept.
Well, Tulio was all too happy.
Miguel wondered if it was fate that he would spend part of every night sitting up angsting. Certainly there were worse ways of spending one's time. The view of the stars from just outside the tent was gorgeous, and worth appreciating even if he hadn't been escaping.
He sighed and buried his face in his arms. He was sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest, trying to sort out why this hurt him so much. It was, after all, nothing new.
You knew that he was in love with her you idiot, he berated himself. You knew it all along. It was why you ran away in the first place, remember? They were the perfect couple, why should a little distance change that? What a fool. Did you actually believe that he might have changed? That you had a chance of any kind?
"I'm so stupid," he said to himself, his voice greatly muffled by his arms.
"No you're not," came a soft voice from behind him. Startled, he turned to find Chel coming to sit next to him. She giggled quietly at the expression he knew he was wearing. "I was serious when I said I wanted to talk to you you know," she told him.
"And I was serious when I asked what on earth you could possibly have to say to me," he retorted bitterly.
"You have every right to be angry at me," she said when she sat down. "I know why you left. I heard you talking to Altivo that night on the ship."
Miguel looked at the ground. "Then you'll forgive me if I'm angry with you."
"I never held it against you. You know, I thought the same thing you did."
Startled again and not quite understanding, Miguel looked over at her. "What do you mean?"
"You left because you thought that it would be easier for me and Tulio to be together without you around. I thought that it would too, at first." She laughed softly. "I was jealous of you, you know. Of the bond you had with him. I always knew that we'd never really have it. But I thought that once you left, Tulio and I would live together happily after he got over you. But I realized quickly that that could never happen." She stopped and turned to look at him seriously. "Do you know why I left him?"
Miguel shook his head, unable to form words.
"Because he didn't love me. Oh, he thought he did. If he really had I would have stayed, because nothing can repair the damage done when someone you really love leaves you. But he didn't. I know because that damage, the irreparable rending of the soul, had already occurred. When you left. He was in love with you. Still is. Did you notice how normal he seemed? How it was as if nothing had ever happened except for a slight sadness in his eyes? You gave that back to him. He was such a mess before, barely remembering to eat. And you came back and the only thing that keeps him sad is the thought that he chased both of us away. That guilt is the only thing plaguing him now that you're back."
Miguel said nothing for a long time. He wasn't sure whether he really trusted this girl. But... if she wanted to take Tulio away from him, then she wouldn't be telling him these things, would she? Was there any reason for her to say this, other than the truth? "I... I don't see how that's possible," he said eventually. "Tulio can't be in love with me. He... he would know, wouldn't he? And he was in love with you."
"He confuses the bond that he has for you. It's natural of course. You men usually don't see things that are right in front of your eyes, and Tulio is especially bad. He thinks that this bond of partnership that you two share means more than it really does, and he uses that to explain away his feelings. But he does love you, honestly."
"Maybe he does," Miguel conceded, "but not in the way that I want. Not the way that he lo- ... that he thought he loved you. He feels a bond to me. Sure. Of course, we've always shared that bond. But he's not attracted to me. He never has been, and he never will be."
Chel cocked her head at him and grinned with some indecipherable emotion. "I think it just hasn't occurred to him. Give him time. And never allow him to take you for granted. You've seen what kind of disasters that makes for."
Miguel closed his eyes, slightly smiling. He didn't really believe what she said, but it was a nice thought. She was sweeter than he gave her credit for. And though he hesitated to admit it, she may have just given him hope back.
"Thank you," he said quietly, without opening his eyes. "I needed that."
"You're welcome," she replied. He heard her get up and re-enter the tent.
He stayed out a little longer, gazing at the stars. For some reason they seemed just a bit brighter than usual.
Oh God, that was hideous. Take me back.
or
Oh God, that was hideous. Let me complain to the author.