warning: language gets a little harsher in this chap. the pg-13 rating's not for nothin'. ^^;;
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lurrien
seg 8
I don't think the next thing I said helped matters any.
"Pooch, you act like you've been brainwashed."
I've never been a very tactful Poochyena.
"Thank you, you're too kind," Pooch half-snarled at me.
"Don't you remember our promise to each other?" I said. That promise I mentioned earlier in this story, if you remember. If you don't, too bad.
"Yeah," he said.
"They why you wanna go back on it?!?"
Pooch just got quiet, and didn't say anything else. Sat down on his rump and stared off into space, away from me. I waited and waited, but, he didn't say nothin'.
Finally I was gettin' ready to tell him, 'Fine, you do as you like, see if I care,' and stomp off angrily, but I couldn't make myself do it right off. Mostly 'cause I was afraid I'd start bawling in front of Pooch as I said it. 'Cause hey, he was still my friend, and I didn't wanna lose him. But neither was I gonna start gettin' all weepy in front of him. Typical female crap. Not me.
But anyway, before I could say anything, he finally spoke up.
"I've thought about ya a lot Lady...the past few days, on nights like this. Just lyin' awake next to Kezhaly and wonderin'...what would you think of me now? I'd turned away from the free life. Or gone forward in a different direction, depending how you see it. But I never would've known...what it was really like. Being a human's Pokemon. Until I had experienced it for myself. Not that I wanted to, mind you. I wasn't given a choice. But she captured me, and then...immediately...took care of me. Like I was her own little pup. She didn't just _use_ me, like how I thought all trainers did. She wasn't demanding. She didn't make me fight battles just 'cause she wanted. That I did on my own. I fought for her 'cause I respected her...and she respected me. It's more than just slavery." He shrugged morosely. "Maybe it's...the way it's supposed to be."
He didn't convince me of crap.
"But you're not free," I said quietly.
"I don't feel like a slave," he sighed. "I still feel free, and I can still do what I want. She doesn't--"
"Yeah and earlier you didn't know if it was okay, you comin' out at night by yourself."
He turned to look at me. "I didn't wanna worry her. By just disappearing like that."
"Uh-huh." I made sure to sound very unconvinced.
"Anyway, I _am_ out now, aren't I? Which, really...I oughta be getting back soon." He shot a glance at the P.C., which was some distance away from us, thank goodness. I hated being near the thing.
But, I didn't want him to leave.
So can anybody explain to me why I said something like this?
"Fine. Go then."
Well, I didn't say it very politely. Matter of fact I turned my back on him.
"Don't be like that, Lady. I told her I wouldn't be gone long."
"You what?" I said, turning my head slightly.
"Kezhaly. I told her I wouldn't be gone very long."
"Whaddya mean you _told_ her?!? She's a human! She can't understand crap you say!!" As I said that I got up and got nose-to-nose with him, not exactly a friendly gesture. I dunno why. Guess I was just getting really pissed at him.
Pooch frowned at me. "Maybe you don't know what she can and can't do."
"Aw, piss off. You're not gonna tell me she has magical powers are ya?"
Pooch laughed. "What's she need magical powers for when she's got _friendship_?"
I glowered at him. "Being her damn friend doesn't mean she can speak Pokemon, Pooch."
"Boy, you are thick! You really don't think Pokemon and humans can understand each other in other ways?"
"Hell no!"
He paused. "No, I guess you wouldn't, would you. I wish you could, though."
"Why? So she can tell me that she wants to own me, and so I can tell her to fuck off?!?"
"I guess, if you want! But why am I arguing with you?? It'll never happen! You're so pissy about the whole thing you'll never give her a chance!!"
"That's right!!"
We glared at each other harshly. Brick wall. Going around in circles. Frickin' impasse. You take your pick. All the hell I knew was that we were starin' at each other from across a gulf that neither one of us could cross.
It was Pooch's glare, though, that softened up first.
"Well...then I guess I just oughta go," he said. Then he turned towards the P.C., and started to walk away.
I had a sudden sneaking suspicion. Probably wasn't true, but I said it anyway just to needle Pooch. "Is that the only reason you came out here, then?? Just to talk me into being a cronie like you?!"
He stopped. "No. I came out here 'cause you're my friend. And I just..." He trailed off, like as if he couldn't think of what else to say. Which I guess was true, 'cause he finished with, "...I dunno."
Well, the friend thing got me. Softened me, that is. "You're my friend too," I admitted, though pretty grudgingly, because at the moment I would've rather beat the crap outta him and knock some sense back into his head instead. "But I don't understand why you're....turning your back on me."
"Lady...." he sighed, "...you can still come along, you know. It's not the end of the world. And she's not gonna treat you like garbage. You've met her. She's not a monster."
"I don't care. I'm gonna be free. Unlike you."
"I'm still free."
"No you're not. You have to go back to your master."
"She's my friend."
"Some friend. She isn't your equal. She's not a Pokemon."
"She doesn't have to be."
"Whatever. Just go. Go back to her, and lie at her feet. And keep her bed warm."
Pooch sighed again, and slowly walked away.
Without saying goodbye. Or even, 'See ya later'.
I watched him all the way into the P.C. "Yeah, just go..." I said. "...and leave me all alone."
And I didn't think I was gonna start bawling. It just caught me off guard. Good thing Pooch wasn't there. Crying and sobbing my eyes out, like some stupid overemotional female. Embarrassing. Took me a while to get through it, too...longer than I would've thought. Guess I just never felt so alone. Never imagined that I'd lose my closest friend. He wasn't the same...he'd never be the same. He may as well have been gone for good.
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lurrien
seg 8
I don't think the next thing I said helped matters any.
"Pooch, you act like you've been brainwashed."
I've never been a very tactful Poochyena.
"Thank you, you're too kind," Pooch half-snarled at me.
"Don't you remember our promise to each other?" I said. That promise I mentioned earlier in this story, if you remember. If you don't, too bad.
"Yeah," he said.
"They why you wanna go back on it?!?"
Pooch just got quiet, and didn't say anything else. Sat down on his rump and stared off into space, away from me. I waited and waited, but, he didn't say nothin'.
Finally I was gettin' ready to tell him, 'Fine, you do as you like, see if I care,' and stomp off angrily, but I couldn't make myself do it right off. Mostly 'cause I was afraid I'd start bawling in front of Pooch as I said it. 'Cause hey, he was still my friend, and I didn't wanna lose him. But neither was I gonna start gettin' all weepy in front of him. Typical female crap. Not me.
But anyway, before I could say anything, he finally spoke up.
"I've thought about ya a lot Lady...the past few days, on nights like this. Just lyin' awake next to Kezhaly and wonderin'...what would you think of me now? I'd turned away from the free life. Or gone forward in a different direction, depending how you see it. But I never would've known...what it was really like. Being a human's Pokemon. Until I had experienced it for myself. Not that I wanted to, mind you. I wasn't given a choice. But she captured me, and then...immediately...took care of me. Like I was her own little pup. She didn't just _use_ me, like how I thought all trainers did. She wasn't demanding. She didn't make me fight battles just 'cause she wanted. That I did on my own. I fought for her 'cause I respected her...and she respected me. It's more than just slavery." He shrugged morosely. "Maybe it's...the way it's supposed to be."
He didn't convince me of crap.
"But you're not free," I said quietly.
"I don't feel like a slave," he sighed. "I still feel free, and I can still do what I want. She doesn't--"
"Yeah and earlier you didn't know if it was okay, you comin' out at night by yourself."
He turned to look at me. "I didn't wanna worry her. By just disappearing like that."
"Uh-huh." I made sure to sound very unconvinced.
"Anyway, I _am_ out now, aren't I? Which, really...I oughta be getting back soon." He shot a glance at the P.C., which was some distance away from us, thank goodness. I hated being near the thing.
But, I didn't want him to leave.
So can anybody explain to me why I said something like this?
"Fine. Go then."
Well, I didn't say it very politely. Matter of fact I turned my back on him.
"Don't be like that, Lady. I told her I wouldn't be gone long."
"You what?" I said, turning my head slightly.
"Kezhaly. I told her I wouldn't be gone very long."
"Whaddya mean you _told_ her?!? She's a human! She can't understand crap you say!!" As I said that I got up and got nose-to-nose with him, not exactly a friendly gesture. I dunno why. Guess I was just getting really pissed at him.
Pooch frowned at me. "Maybe you don't know what she can and can't do."
"Aw, piss off. You're not gonna tell me she has magical powers are ya?"
Pooch laughed. "What's she need magical powers for when she's got _friendship_?"
I glowered at him. "Being her damn friend doesn't mean she can speak Pokemon, Pooch."
"Boy, you are thick! You really don't think Pokemon and humans can understand each other in other ways?"
"Hell no!"
He paused. "No, I guess you wouldn't, would you. I wish you could, though."
"Why? So she can tell me that she wants to own me, and so I can tell her to fuck off?!?"
"I guess, if you want! But why am I arguing with you?? It'll never happen! You're so pissy about the whole thing you'll never give her a chance!!"
"That's right!!"
We glared at each other harshly. Brick wall. Going around in circles. Frickin' impasse. You take your pick. All the hell I knew was that we were starin' at each other from across a gulf that neither one of us could cross.
It was Pooch's glare, though, that softened up first.
"Well...then I guess I just oughta go," he said. Then he turned towards the P.C., and started to walk away.
I had a sudden sneaking suspicion. Probably wasn't true, but I said it anyway just to needle Pooch. "Is that the only reason you came out here, then?? Just to talk me into being a cronie like you?!"
He stopped. "No. I came out here 'cause you're my friend. And I just..." He trailed off, like as if he couldn't think of what else to say. Which I guess was true, 'cause he finished with, "...I dunno."
Well, the friend thing got me. Softened me, that is. "You're my friend too," I admitted, though pretty grudgingly, because at the moment I would've rather beat the crap outta him and knock some sense back into his head instead. "But I don't understand why you're....turning your back on me."
"Lady...." he sighed, "...you can still come along, you know. It's not the end of the world. And she's not gonna treat you like garbage. You've met her. She's not a monster."
"I don't care. I'm gonna be free. Unlike you."
"I'm still free."
"No you're not. You have to go back to your master."
"She's my friend."
"Some friend. She isn't your equal. She's not a Pokemon."
"She doesn't have to be."
"Whatever. Just go. Go back to her, and lie at her feet. And keep her bed warm."
Pooch sighed again, and slowly walked away.
Without saying goodbye. Or even, 'See ya later'.
I watched him all the way into the P.C. "Yeah, just go..." I said. "...and leave me all alone."
And I didn't think I was gonna start bawling. It just caught me off guard. Good thing Pooch wasn't there. Crying and sobbing my eyes out, like some stupid overemotional female. Embarrassing. Took me a while to get through it, too...longer than I would've thought. Guess I just never felt so alone. Never imagined that I'd lose my closest friend. He wasn't the same...he'd never be the same. He may as well have been gone for good.