12 Black Rainbows
Disclaimer : NO! I dont own xmen, blah blah blah.. cocks....
7) I Dont Wanna Be Me
I was still tired, so as Gambit and the Prof. talked I went back to my room. This was the life of the Xmen. You fight battles that have no point, you make enemies of people you never knew, you are held hostage for almost no apparent reason. Then I started thinking, was I hostage or was I there for some other reason? There was no way for me to tell, since I dont talk to Magneto and he never confronted me. I was getting curious though. I wanted to know.
"Remy..." I said, stopping him
"Yeah chere?" he smiled
"Why did Magneto want me?"
"Well... he never really told us his plans. He just told us what to do, and exptected us to do it."
"Please, Gambit. I need to know."
"Im too afraid to tell you what went on in there. I dont want anything happenin to anyone here... happenin to you."
"And Im afraid to trust you, if you wont trust me. I need to know, otherwise Ill get kidnapped again. And you have NO idea how old its getting already."
He pulled me aside and in to my room
"He wants your powers. He wants you to join him, too. If he let us see eachother this time, he thought you would come easier."
What would I have that he wants? What was he planning? And why? He could have Kurt to teleport him, he could have Kitty walk through walls, he could have Jean mess with minds, he could have anyone. Compared to everyone else, my powers sucked. I had to be in close range to my target. I cant stop things from hitting me, I cant go through them, I cant even blast them away. I was almost helpless.
"But... why...?"
"Something about absorbing his powers..."
"Oh damn..."
I broke of the conversation. I ran down to the Prof.s room and knocked on the door. He opened it.
"What does he want from me?" I asked, panting
"He wants you to absorb his own powers, and use them for some reason," he answered
"Why cant he just do it?"
"It will take too much power. Probaly killing who ever-"
"Kill? Talk to me here! Someone wants to use me and kill me, like Im some dirty hooker. I never asked for these powers. I never wanted these powers. Why cant someone else just do it? Im sick of it. Fuck it. I quit."
"Dont you see? Its what he wants!"
"I dont CARE what HE wants. I dont CARE what YOU want. I CARE about what the hell I want."
I walked down the hall to my room. Gambit was laying on my bed looking at me. I went and sat down next to him.
"How long are you really goin to stay here?" I asked, staring off into space
"As long as Im welcome..."
"You can stay in here tonight... Im... gonna go for a... walk."
He suddenly sat up, "Want me to come?"
"Um... no..."
He watched me as I walked on the balcony and crawled down to the ground. I walked off, looking behind myself every so often to see if I was being followed. The Prof. always sent somebody out after me, and it made me feel so young, so helpless. I hate that helpless feeling, because I can never get my chance to make my own mistakes and choices when Im helpless to everyone else.
The decision to leave the mansion was on my mind. It was a big decision to make alone, but it HAD to be made alone. A chill hit me, and I crossed my arms, but continued walking. I turned around and looked at the mansion. It was so tiny from this point. Every persons dream was to live in a place like that, even mine, and now I had that, but I didnt want it. It was like a prison. But what WERE my choices? I could help in trying to destroy humans, or I could live like a prisoner. The choice isnt about morality. Its about future. What would happen if I chose the wrong thing? I could live eternally unhappy. Choosing the right thing is supposed to give me an easy road to happiness. But whats happiness and how do I know I want it?
Going with Magneto would mean that I would bring on a darkness to so many people. So many people who have done nothing but believe what they are told. As weak minded as they are, I dont wish death on them. Maybe a smack of reality, but nothing more. If Magneto used me the way the Prof. talked about, then I would end up dead.
Staying with the Xmen would mean that I would help other who have doen nothing for me. I would always have that satisfaction with myself then. The satisfaction that I helped someone, and they would always know, reguardless of my being a mutant, that I saved their lives and they owe everything to me.
Suddenly, the choice seemed less hard to make. I could "stay" with Xavier, but kind of do my own thing. I wasnt sure, and until I was, I was going to do my own thing. I turned around and started walking back. Gambit was waiting about a half a mile from the mansion for me.
"Did you follow me?" I asked, kind of angry
"Nah, I know when people need their space. I just came out here so if I heard anything, I would know to save my damsel in distress," he smiled
"God, Im so sick of being saved..."
"Im sorry. Ive known some weird people, and I dont want any of those people jumpin ya. I guess its my job to be worryin about ya, because its what Im doin," he put his arm around me and kissed my forehead, "Come on, we got a home now. We got people atlesat giving us a chance, a chance no one else will. So lets just take it and see what happens."
"Ive been doing that for... so long. Nothings happened."
"What about me, huh? Dont you like me? 'Cause this dont happen much, but Gambit loves you."
I smiled
"Youre still blushin, I thought we were past that, chere?" he smiled
"We are..." I continued smiling
"Next time you go out walkin, I gotta come with ya. Maybe Im just paranoid, but 'evil' is reckless."
"Well... duh! Its 'evil'!" I said, amused
"Yeah... Im not good with mushy stuff."
"Then we can stop being mushy."
We walked into the mansion and everything was dark. We locked the doors and head up to my room. We both laid down on my bed and turned the lights off. Gambit seemed asleep, but I lay awake. I just cuddled up next to him and hoped to fall asleep sooner. Its just so hard to sleep when your mind is plagued with so many thoughts, and its almost unbearable. Gambit moved around, and noticed I was awake. He gave me a sweet kiss on the lips and wrapped his arms around me. From there, I quickly fell asleep.
**
Someone told me I was a HORRIBLE writer. They said I should stop ruining it for the lovers of fanfiction and that I needed to take some classes. What do you people think? How bad am I? And I SOOOOOOO bad that I need to stop writing this story?
Disclaimer : NO! I dont own xmen, blah blah blah.. cocks....
7) I Dont Wanna Be Me
I was still tired, so as Gambit and the Prof. talked I went back to my room. This was the life of the Xmen. You fight battles that have no point, you make enemies of people you never knew, you are held hostage for almost no apparent reason. Then I started thinking, was I hostage or was I there for some other reason? There was no way for me to tell, since I dont talk to Magneto and he never confronted me. I was getting curious though. I wanted to know.
"Remy..." I said, stopping him
"Yeah chere?" he smiled
"Why did Magneto want me?"
"Well... he never really told us his plans. He just told us what to do, and exptected us to do it."
"Please, Gambit. I need to know."
"Im too afraid to tell you what went on in there. I dont want anything happenin to anyone here... happenin to you."
"And Im afraid to trust you, if you wont trust me. I need to know, otherwise Ill get kidnapped again. And you have NO idea how old its getting already."
He pulled me aside and in to my room
"He wants your powers. He wants you to join him, too. If he let us see eachother this time, he thought you would come easier."
What would I have that he wants? What was he planning? And why? He could have Kurt to teleport him, he could have Kitty walk through walls, he could have Jean mess with minds, he could have anyone. Compared to everyone else, my powers sucked. I had to be in close range to my target. I cant stop things from hitting me, I cant go through them, I cant even blast them away. I was almost helpless.
"But... why...?"
"Something about absorbing his powers..."
"Oh damn..."
I broke of the conversation. I ran down to the Prof.s room and knocked on the door. He opened it.
"What does he want from me?" I asked, panting
"He wants you to absorb his own powers, and use them for some reason," he answered
"Why cant he just do it?"
"It will take too much power. Probaly killing who ever-"
"Kill? Talk to me here! Someone wants to use me and kill me, like Im some dirty hooker. I never asked for these powers. I never wanted these powers. Why cant someone else just do it? Im sick of it. Fuck it. I quit."
"Dont you see? Its what he wants!"
"I dont CARE what HE wants. I dont CARE what YOU want. I CARE about what the hell I want."
I walked down the hall to my room. Gambit was laying on my bed looking at me. I went and sat down next to him.
"How long are you really goin to stay here?" I asked, staring off into space
"As long as Im welcome..."
"You can stay in here tonight... Im... gonna go for a... walk."
He suddenly sat up, "Want me to come?"
"Um... no..."
He watched me as I walked on the balcony and crawled down to the ground. I walked off, looking behind myself every so often to see if I was being followed. The Prof. always sent somebody out after me, and it made me feel so young, so helpless. I hate that helpless feeling, because I can never get my chance to make my own mistakes and choices when Im helpless to everyone else.
The decision to leave the mansion was on my mind. It was a big decision to make alone, but it HAD to be made alone. A chill hit me, and I crossed my arms, but continued walking. I turned around and looked at the mansion. It was so tiny from this point. Every persons dream was to live in a place like that, even mine, and now I had that, but I didnt want it. It was like a prison. But what WERE my choices? I could help in trying to destroy humans, or I could live like a prisoner. The choice isnt about morality. Its about future. What would happen if I chose the wrong thing? I could live eternally unhappy. Choosing the right thing is supposed to give me an easy road to happiness. But whats happiness and how do I know I want it?
Going with Magneto would mean that I would bring on a darkness to so many people. So many people who have done nothing but believe what they are told. As weak minded as they are, I dont wish death on them. Maybe a smack of reality, but nothing more. If Magneto used me the way the Prof. talked about, then I would end up dead.
Staying with the Xmen would mean that I would help other who have doen nothing for me. I would always have that satisfaction with myself then. The satisfaction that I helped someone, and they would always know, reguardless of my being a mutant, that I saved their lives and they owe everything to me.
Suddenly, the choice seemed less hard to make. I could "stay" with Xavier, but kind of do my own thing. I wasnt sure, and until I was, I was going to do my own thing. I turned around and started walking back. Gambit was waiting about a half a mile from the mansion for me.
"Did you follow me?" I asked, kind of angry
"Nah, I know when people need their space. I just came out here so if I heard anything, I would know to save my damsel in distress," he smiled
"God, Im so sick of being saved..."
"Im sorry. Ive known some weird people, and I dont want any of those people jumpin ya. I guess its my job to be worryin about ya, because its what Im doin," he put his arm around me and kissed my forehead, "Come on, we got a home now. We got people atlesat giving us a chance, a chance no one else will. So lets just take it and see what happens."
"Ive been doing that for... so long. Nothings happened."
"What about me, huh? Dont you like me? 'Cause this dont happen much, but Gambit loves you."
I smiled
"Youre still blushin, I thought we were past that, chere?" he smiled
"We are..." I continued smiling
"Next time you go out walkin, I gotta come with ya. Maybe Im just paranoid, but 'evil' is reckless."
"Well... duh! Its 'evil'!" I said, amused
"Yeah... Im not good with mushy stuff."
"Then we can stop being mushy."
We walked into the mansion and everything was dark. We locked the doors and head up to my room. We both laid down on my bed and turned the lights off. Gambit seemed asleep, but I lay awake. I just cuddled up next to him and hoped to fall asleep sooner. Its just so hard to sleep when your mind is plagued with so many thoughts, and its almost unbearable. Gambit moved around, and noticed I was awake. He gave me a sweet kiss on the lips and wrapped his arms around me. From there, I quickly fell asleep.
**
Someone told me I was a HORRIBLE writer. They said I should stop ruining it for the lovers of fanfiction and that I needed to take some classes. What do you people think? How bad am I? And I SOOOOOOO bad that I need to stop writing this story?