Hi everyone. I apologize for not updating sooner. My only excuses are work and writer's block. I hope you're still interested in reading this. I wanted to wrap it in this chapter, but decided to post instead. I'll warn you that there's not much action (if any). It's still dialogue driven and more than a bit angst ridden. I tried to lighten it up, but am not certain I succeeded. I shall never write angst again.

Thanks for all of your reviews. They really do mean a lot.

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Grissom heard the water go on in the shower as he settled on the sofa with another cup of coffee. He'd slept, but mentally, was drained. He wondered for the hundredth time how he could have known Sara for so many years without realizing she was sitting on a secret that filled her with such pain and guilt. Sure, there were times when he entertained, however briefly, the thought that she might have an issue in her past that made her more sensitive to certain cases; abuse, rape. But then he'd quickly reassured himself with the fact that Sara was passionate about every aspect of her work.

Massaging his temples, Grissom leaned forward, eventually lowering his head into his hands. Had he really been that eager to justify Sara's reactions as normal? Had he been so afraid of letting himself feel anything for her? Grissom's throat constricted and he shook his head. Of course he'd been that afraid and that self-protective. Damn, they'd spent countless nights discussing their various commitment issues. A shiver went up Grissom's spine and he gave thanks once again that Sara had been patient with him.

The ring of Sara's portable phone caused him to startle. After four rings her answering machine kicked in and he heard a voice very similar to Sara's.

"Sara, pick up. Sara? Sara? Pick up…"

Grissom reached for the handset, clicked the talk button and cut the voice off in mid sentence. "Hello."

"Who's this? I'm calling for Sara."

"Can I take a message for her? She's uh, just stepped next door."

"And you are?"

Grissom frowned into the mouthpiece. "I'm a friend of Sara's from work."

"You work with my daughter?"

"Yes, I do. Can I take that message?"

"No, that won't be necessary. I'll…"

Sara stepped from the bathroom wearing a towel. Seeing the expression of bewilderment on Grissom's face, she walked toward the sofa and cocked her head at him.

"Your mother," he whispered, while covering the mouthpiece.

Grissom noted that she seemed to be indecisive and returned his attention to the phone call. "Mrs. Grissom, I'll tell her you'll…"

Sara took two steps forward and grabbed the phone from his hands.

"Mom, it's me."

"Oh, did you just get back from next door?"

"No, I just got out of the shower."

"Well, your gentleman friend isn't afraid of bending the truth is he?"

"Please, mom, just let it go. Grissom is way too polite to tell a caller that I was in the shower."

"Oh, so now you're dating your supervisor?"

"I think we agreed that discussion of my private life seemed to precipitate fights between us. We don't want to fight. Do we?"

"Of course not, dear. I love you no matter what you choose to do."

Sara balled her free hand into a fist, took a deep breath and crossed to the kitchen. "What's up, Mom?"

"I know you tried to call Keith. Why would…"

"He is my brother."

"You'll only upset him, Sara. You don't understand. He has a new job. Not that you'd know that."

"Again, I'm trying to not fight with you, Mom. Benji's dead and we can't relive the past."

"That's my point, Sara. What purpose does it serve to possibly dredge up old memories for Keith?"

"I'm sorry, Mom, I have to go."

"You always seem to be going somewhere. Why would you suddenly detour from your busy life and call your brother?"

"I'm not having this discussion with you. I'm just not doing it."

"Sara, I love you, but please don't bother Keith…"

"I love you too, Mom. Bye."

Sara clicked the off button and set the phone on the coffee table.

Grissom stood and made a move to approach her. "I'm sorry. I shoudn't have answered. It just sounded as if it was…"

"It's okay. I mean, I can't declare my phone off limits." The hint of a grin she gave him failed to disguise the pain in her eyes."

"I'm not going to ask if you're okay, because I know you're not."

Sara nodded before lowering her eyes. "It's just, damn, it's just that I knew she would pull this shit. She doesn't want me. Uh, she doesn't want me talking to Keith. I'd been getting along better with her, but now…now it still comes down to what I did."

"You didn't do anything, Sara."

Raising her gaze to meet his, she gave a sigh of resignation that chilled Grissom to the bone. "I did the worst thing. I destroyed Keith. I destroyed her first-born child."

"You know that's not true," he asserted, hoping she would agree.

Sara frowned and glanced down at the towel. "I need to get dressed."

The phone rang again and Sara detoured to the wall behind her desk and yanked the cord from the connection. "No more calls. No more."

He watched her walk into the bedroom. She was tense, but not out of control. Grissom pushed around the facts he knew, added this or deleted that, his brain serving as an abacus of sorts. The first time he'd heard Sara speak to her mother had been deceiving. The night she called about Stillman's suicide, he'd witnessed a shocked but unsuprised Sara receive the news and end the call with 'love, you too, Mom." It had seemed, to him at least, completely natural and somewhat indicative of a close relationship. What he'd learned since then demonstrated a strained, tenuous bond between parent and child. The woman continued to blame her daughter for the violence of twenty years ago. Christ, he groaned audibly, the guilt Sara has had pushed upon her.

"What's wrong, Griss?"

His eyes shot open as Sara reemerged from the bedroom. She was clad in a Looney Toons T-shirt and sweats.

"Uh, nothing. I was lost in thought."

"I heard a cross between a groan and sigh. Sounded as if you were in pain," she teased.

"I was."

"Why?" Sara's brow furrowed.

"I suppose because I love you," he replied matter-of-factly.

Her features clouded for a moment before she nodded in understanding. "Thank you.

Grissom stood and took a few hesitant steps toward her. Their eyes met and he saw the tears that threatened. His left arm circled her back and he coaxed her into a gentle embrace. "It's all right, Sara."

"No, no it's not. I'm pretty certain that it's never going to be all right." She buried her face into his shoulder as she could no longer stop the tears.

He rubbed her back softly and brought his hand to her cheek as she slowly pulled away.

"I'm sorry for laying this all on you, Griss."

"Please don't apologize to me, Sara. That's what I'm here for."

"As my own personal handkerchief?" She laughed and managed a half-hearted smile.

"Of course," he grinned. "My crisp, clean, newly laundered shirts are always available for your use. Provided, of course, you return them cleaned and pressed."

"You should be so lucky, Gil Grissom." She brushed her lips against his cheek before moving to his mouth. "I love you." Whatever he'd been about to say in reply was lost as she raised a hand to the back of his head, ensuring that her exploration of his mouth continued without interruption.

Grissom responded immediately, having missed this side of Sara. His hands dropped to her body and began rubbing her softly as his mouth submitted to hers. He was more than willing to let Sara have control. The last thing Grissom wanted was to pressure her. They'd gone farther many times, but that was before the revelations of the past forty-eight hours.

Minutes later, Sara pulled her lips from Grissom's. "I, uh, just felt like being close to you."

He brushed his moist lips against her ear. "You're always close to me, Sara. And, by the way, I love you too."

"Yeah, sorry I didn't exactly give you a chance to answer."

"It was my pleasure."

She pulled away to regard him with a serious gaze. "Thank you for listening and for not leaving me."

"I won't." He lowered his head before bracing himself for what he needed to say. Taking Sara's hands in his, Grissom captured her gaze. "Ever."

He was more than chagrined as she giggled.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, Griss. You're just sweet."

"You laughed," he raised an accusing eyebrow.

"It's just that, jeez, we're both beginning to sound like a mushy Hallmark card."

He feigned hurt. "And just when I was beginning to be comfortable with human emotions. Damn."

"It feels good to laugh, Griss."

"Well, I think I'm glad I could provide you with that opportunity."

Sara grabbed him in a bear hug, and they remained comfortably embraced until he turned his mouth toward her ear. You want to talk some more?"

"I think I need to."

Grissom led her to the sofa and she sat and leaned her back into his arms. He couldn't help but feel that he'd somehow passed a test of sorts. For almost two days, she'd refused to let him hold her hand while she'd recounted the past. He shifted and sought to pull her closer just as she leaned further into his chest.

"I don't know where to…I mean I've got all these images running around my brain, but I don't…I'm just not sure what…"

Attempting to help her focus, Grissom asked what was on his mind. "When did they arrest Ben Stillman?"

Sara paused briefly. "I remember my Dad, he told us at the hospital that the police had found Benji that evening. I remember thinking that he should have run. Isn't that weird? Thinking that the guy that attacked my brother should run. They uh, found him in the clubhouse that he and Keith had built when they were kids. My Dad said he told the cops everything." Sara's body tensed.

"He confessed."

"Well, yeah, but at the time I was just terrified by what my Dad said. I know this is going to sound stupid, Griss, but I honestly thought the police would be coming to arrest me."

Even as the depth of her guilt hit him, Grissom couldn't stop his mouth. "Why?"

"I thought maybe they'd blame me for Keith's injury. For contributing to it or something," she sighed. "I know it's stupid."

"No, it's not. You were feeling incredibly vulnerable and your parents, well your mom anyway, wasn't exactly comforting you."

Acknowledging his comment with a deep sigh, she continued. "They got Benji for malicious wounding and uh, assault and attempted rape. He wasn't charged as an adult. The courts weren't big into that yet, plus his family was pretty well known in the area. His parents got him a good attorney and he plead out. Eighteen months with the California Youth Authority plus five years probation."

"So, you didn't have to testify?"

"No. The DA waited a couple of weeks, you know, to see if Keith was going to make it."

Grissom struggled with something to say as Sara extricated herself and stood. "Benji's mom, like three days after Keith was attacked, knocked on our door. She wanted to come in, but my Mom wouldn't allow it. They both raised their voices before Mom closed the door on her."

Sara grabbed for the bottle of water, to find it empty. Frustrated, she flung the offending bottle against the wall and walked to the kitchen. She reached for the bottle of Scotch and grasped it briefly before sliding it out and away from herself.

She felt Grissom behind her and turned.

"How's your head?" He pushed her hair back gently.

"Still attached, Griss. I don't know why."

"You up for something to eat. My careful calculations indicate that you've not consumed anything in over twenty-four hours."

"No, I had Scotch and beer."

He gave her what could pass as a disapproving look. "You've got a choice, my dear. Grissom's leftover spaghetti or takeout."

"Well, I think I'll choose the food that's made by someone who loves me."

He couldn't help the grin that crossed his face.

She couldn't help playing with him. "I think Donny Choi's menu is on the fridge."

TBC