Chapter Sixteen - Divided sky
Gan Ning sat down on the bed, his head resting in his hands. Why did things have to change? Why couldn't everything have stayed the way it was? He felt the sting of salt behind his eyelids and closed his eyes, feeling two streams of warm water roll down his cheeks. His pulse drummed in his ears and he noticed that his breathing was loud and short. There was a quiet knock at the door.
"Who is it?" He said back, unshed tears lingering in his voice.
"It's me."
There were a million "me's" that it could have been but only one mattered to Gan Ning right then and he found him standing on his doorstep.
"Sun Ce..."
Sun Ce was as solemn as he'd always been but Gan Ning could see the flushed look on his face and the slight redness around his eyes. He'd been crying, but he was so used to his role that he would never admit it. Without a word Sun Ce's arms were around him and Gan Ning's face was buried in his shoulder, the sadness he felt overwhelming him. Sun Ce stroked his back while he broke down, his body shaking with the muffled sobs that shook through him. Eventually they stopped and he felt Sun Ce kissing the top of his head, still holding him tightly.
"...*sniff*...Must you go?" Gan Ning asked, looking up at Sun Ce, although it was more of a plea than a question.
"I have to..." Sun Ce answered, a sad expression on his face.
Gan Ning had seen that expression before when Sun Ce had first visited him in his quarters. That one look caused Gan Ning so much more pain than anything else ever could and he leant his head on Sun Ce's shoulder, not wanting to see it.
Several minutes passed before Gan Ning pulled away.
"When are you leaving?"
"Tomorrow morning." He said sadly.
"Is it almost midnight now?"
Sun Ce pulled Gan Ning closer.
"Yes"
"Sun Ce" Gan Ning said before holding Sun Ce's hand in his own, "Would you stay with me tonight? Please?"
Sun Ce managed a faint smile, "Where else would I go?"
Gan Ning led him into the living room and they sat down on Gan Ning's large bed. Neither of them spoke. There was a candle burning and it sent warm colours around the room. Sun Ce held Gan Ning tightly, as though if he let go he'd be gone forever. Sun Ce heard Gan Ning sniffing and looked down at him. He was crying again quietly, silent tears running down his cheeks. Sun Ce lifted Gan Ning's chin so they were face to face.
"This doesn't mean it's over Gan Ning." He said quietly.
"It's not?"
"Of course not, I'll write and send you letters all the time and you don't work *all* the time. We can still see each other."
"But what about Sun Jian?"
"I don't give a damn what he thinks and I don't think you should either. I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks anymore and I owe that to you."
Gan Ning gave him a curious look.
"Let's just say that kissing me at the main hall helped. You didn't care who knew and I realised that I didn't either. Thank you, Gan Ning." he said, wiping Gan Ning's tear-stained cheek with his hand.
He leant over and kissed the skin of Gan Ning's cheek before gently pressing his lips to Gan Ning's who accepted them hungrily, parting his own willingly to let Sun Ce's tongue into his mouth. They kissed deeply, Sun Ce slipping Gan Ning's clothes away from his skin until piece-by-piece their garments lay in a pile next to the bed on the floor while they devoured each other with a desperate need.
Gan Ning had never felt the need to be so close to Sun Ce before, and he didn't want to release him from his mouth but eventually he pulled away. He pushed Sun Ce so his back was pressed against the head of the bed and straddled him whilst sucking at the flesh of his neck, leaving a dark bruise. Slowly he lowered himself onto Sun Ce's length, his need taking over him, his need to be with his Lord and for Sun Ce to be inside him, a part of him. This movement caused Sun Ce's eyes to flutter closed as he let out a low moan. His arms snaked around to hold Gan Ning's back as he willingly impaled himself again and again. Gan Ning's head was thrown back and he held onto Sun Ce's shoulders tightly, his breathing fast and shallow and Sun Ce's name echoing repeatedly across his lips.
Sun Ce rolled his hips up into every one of the downward thrusts. He needed Gan Ning so badly and it was killing him inside but when they were like this, and when they were moving together, everything else faded away and there was nothing else that mattered apart from them and the whole little universe that seemed to revolve around them. Sun Ce's hand slipped between them and he helped work Gan Ning higher into his own bliss, his other hand moving up so his fingers were splayed in chocolate brown hair. Gan Ning's grip on Sun Ce's shoulders tightened and red marks appeared under his fingertips but Sun Ce didn't care.
The way Sun Ce stroked him inside and out sent sweet tremors through his body and he came, leaning back further into Sun Ce's hand as it cradled his head, moaning loudly. Sun Ce's hands moved to Gan Ning's back and he pulled Gan Ning tightly to his chest as he climaxed deep inside him. They sat there for a few moments while they caught their breath.
Sun Ce kissed Gan Ning's neck and lifted the smaller man off him, laying him down.
"Please don't go...?"
Sun Ce replied by putting a finger to his lips. Gan Ning sat up as Sun Ce put a large cushion behind him and they both lay down, Sun Ce pulling the blanket over them. He felt Gan Ning's arm wrap around his chest and he pulled Gan Ning close to him, the feel of his skin against his own sending a feeling of familiarity through him. He sighed and blocked out thoughts of the following morning as he and his lover drifted off to sleep. The candle light was dying and soon there was nothing left but melted wax.
**************************************
The early morning sun sent weak rays of light through the window of Gan Ning's room, awakening Sun Ce from his slumber. He rubbed his eyes wearily and looked over the window. It was early in the morning. He didn't have to be out until late in the morning, which gave him time to just hold Gan Ning, the knot in his stomach growing tighter. He knew it couldn't last from the start. After all, he was Sun Ce, son of Sun Jian. What was the probability that he was allowed to be with a man when he is the son of Wu's leader? True, it wasn't like he was never going to see Gan Ning again, but it was going to be hard when he was moving to a whole new Wu camp. What if he and Gan Ning moved away and bought a house somewhere...Sun Ce sighed, it was wishful thinking. All he was good at was fighting.
The little light blinked at him, willing him to get up. He still had a long time till he had to take the carriage to the next town and then continue his journey to the East camp; he could lay there a little longer. He breathed in the citrus scent of Gan Ning's hair, wanting to capture every part of him that he could before he had to leave it all behind. He kissed his way along Gan Ning's tattoo and up to his lips. He wanted to leave now before he woke up. He wanted to avoid the tears and most of all he didn't want to say goodbye, he wanted to pretend that he didn't have to leave after all. He didn't want to awaken him from such a peaceful sleep just to bring him back to reality. Sun Ce felt that reality pretty much sucked at the moment.
He sighed and sat down next to Gan Ning while he stroked his hair. His eyes fluttered open.
"Ce?"
He looked up at Sun Ce, rubbing his eyes sleepily.
"Yeah, it's me."
Gan Ning smiled and brought Sun Ce's head down to him gently with his hand, kissing him before lying back down.
"How come you're up so early?" He asked but he knew the answer as soon as the words left his lips and his smile vanished, "...oh..."
Sun Ce sighed loudly, kissing Gan Ning once more before standing up and beginning to pull on his clothes.
"I've got to be at the carriage soon so I better get ready. You'll be there right?"
"Where else would I go?" he asked, echoing the words said by Sun Ce the night before sadly.
Sun Ce pulled on his robe before leaning down to kiss him for the last time before he left the room.
Gan Ning wanted to cry but there were no more tears to shed.
********************************************
"It's time, Lord Sun Ce, let us be on our way." The carriage driver said, sitting at the front of the carriage with two black horses pulling it.
"Just a little while longer...?" Sun Ce asked, looking around nervously.
Sun Quan nodded. Sun Jian was not able to accept the fact, so he was not there to see his son off.
Where *was* he? Everyone but the person he wanted to see had turned up to say goodbye, Xiao Qiao, Da Qiao, Sun Shang Xiang, Zhou Tai, Lu Xun...everyone but Gan Ning. He sighed and picked up his bags, handing it to the driver. The driver walked around to the back and put it inside. Where the hell was he?
"Where's Gan Ning?" Xiao Qiao asked Lu Xun quietly.
"I don't know...he should be here."
Suddenly running footsteps could be heard echoing in the crisp morning air and they saw Gan Ning running up the stone path towards them. Sun Ce breathed a sigh of relief as the active boy ran up to him.
"I thought you weren't going to make it..."
"I, I didn't want to see you go, but I didn't want you going without saying goodbye either." he admitted.
Sun Ce's face was sad, his eyes not bearing their usual brightness. Gan Ning's wore the same pleading look and he held Sun Ce's hands.
"Please Lord Sun Ce. Let us be on our way." The driver said impatiently.
"Well...goodbye everyone." Sun Ce said quietly, turning to where the others stood. He received quiet goodbyes in return. He turned back to where Gan Ning looked up at him, his eyes glassy behind tears that threatened to overflow. He put his hand to Gan Ning's cheek and moved closer to him so that they were nose to nose.
"You remember what I said don't you? We'll meet up whenever we can."
"You mean it?" Gan Ning asked quietly.
"You don't think being in another place could keep me away from you for long do you?"
Gan Ning smiled faintly, leaning forward to kiss Sun Ce softly on the lips before pulling him close to him, kissing him intensely. He longed to keep Sun Ce by him but as he pulled away he sighed, his hands still resting on Sun Ce's waist.
"I've got to go...goodbye Gan Ning." He said quietly and Gan Ning thought he heard his voice crack slightly.
He kissed Gan Ning gently once more on the lips.
"Goodbye." Gan Ning replied looking up at Sun Ce, memorising the hazel eyes which he loved so much and often consumed his soul.
Sun Ce pulled away and the driver opened the door. Sun Ce sat down and the door slammed shut, an old piece of wood, which echoed through Gan Ning's body. Sun Ce's gaze never left Gan Ning's, a terrible sadness in his eyes as he leant against the window, the carriage pulling away. Gan Ning stood there until it had disappeared into the distance, hugging himself to keep warm, as if Sun Ce's absence had taken away all warmth. He felt arms wrap around him and he was brought back to his senses. It was Xiao Qiao.
"Do you want me to get you anything Gan Ning?" she asked while she hugged him.
'Sun Ce...'
"No. I-I just wanna be alone." He said quietly as Xiao Qiao released him.
He turned away from them and walked back towards the Wu camp, still holding himself.
"He's really gone isn't he?" Da Qiao asked, still not believing that Sun Ce had left. After all, she did have some feelings for Sun Ce until the main hall incident. Her heart was completely shattered when the truth was unveiled right before her very own eyes in the main hall.
"Yeah...it's weird. I wonder how Gan Ning's taking it." Xiao Qiao replied, sighing loudly afterwards.
"I know, I feel sorry for him." Da Qiao said, sounding weary.
"Poor Gan Ning..." Lu Xun said sadly, watching the former pirate walk away.
If only they knew that Sun Ce leaving was only the beginning of Gan Ning's troubles.
Gan Ning sat down on the bed, his head resting in his hands. Why did things have to change? Why couldn't everything have stayed the way it was? He felt the sting of salt behind his eyelids and closed his eyes, feeling two streams of warm water roll down his cheeks. His pulse drummed in his ears and he noticed that his breathing was loud and short. There was a quiet knock at the door.
"Who is it?" He said back, unshed tears lingering in his voice.
"It's me."
There were a million "me's" that it could have been but only one mattered to Gan Ning right then and he found him standing on his doorstep.
"Sun Ce..."
Sun Ce was as solemn as he'd always been but Gan Ning could see the flushed look on his face and the slight redness around his eyes. He'd been crying, but he was so used to his role that he would never admit it. Without a word Sun Ce's arms were around him and Gan Ning's face was buried in his shoulder, the sadness he felt overwhelming him. Sun Ce stroked his back while he broke down, his body shaking with the muffled sobs that shook through him. Eventually they stopped and he felt Sun Ce kissing the top of his head, still holding him tightly.
"...*sniff*...Must you go?" Gan Ning asked, looking up at Sun Ce, although it was more of a plea than a question.
"I have to..." Sun Ce answered, a sad expression on his face.
Gan Ning had seen that expression before when Sun Ce had first visited him in his quarters. That one look caused Gan Ning so much more pain than anything else ever could and he leant his head on Sun Ce's shoulder, not wanting to see it.
Several minutes passed before Gan Ning pulled away.
"When are you leaving?"
"Tomorrow morning." He said sadly.
"Is it almost midnight now?"
Sun Ce pulled Gan Ning closer.
"Yes"
"Sun Ce" Gan Ning said before holding Sun Ce's hand in his own, "Would you stay with me tonight? Please?"
Sun Ce managed a faint smile, "Where else would I go?"
Gan Ning led him into the living room and they sat down on Gan Ning's large bed. Neither of them spoke. There was a candle burning and it sent warm colours around the room. Sun Ce held Gan Ning tightly, as though if he let go he'd be gone forever. Sun Ce heard Gan Ning sniffing and looked down at him. He was crying again quietly, silent tears running down his cheeks. Sun Ce lifted Gan Ning's chin so they were face to face.
"This doesn't mean it's over Gan Ning." He said quietly.
"It's not?"
"Of course not, I'll write and send you letters all the time and you don't work *all* the time. We can still see each other."
"But what about Sun Jian?"
"I don't give a damn what he thinks and I don't think you should either. I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks anymore and I owe that to you."
Gan Ning gave him a curious look.
"Let's just say that kissing me at the main hall helped. You didn't care who knew and I realised that I didn't either. Thank you, Gan Ning." he said, wiping Gan Ning's tear-stained cheek with his hand.
He leant over and kissed the skin of Gan Ning's cheek before gently pressing his lips to Gan Ning's who accepted them hungrily, parting his own willingly to let Sun Ce's tongue into his mouth. They kissed deeply, Sun Ce slipping Gan Ning's clothes away from his skin until piece-by-piece their garments lay in a pile next to the bed on the floor while they devoured each other with a desperate need.
Gan Ning had never felt the need to be so close to Sun Ce before, and he didn't want to release him from his mouth but eventually he pulled away. He pushed Sun Ce so his back was pressed against the head of the bed and straddled him whilst sucking at the flesh of his neck, leaving a dark bruise. Slowly he lowered himself onto Sun Ce's length, his need taking over him, his need to be with his Lord and for Sun Ce to be inside him, a part of him. This movement caused Sun Ce's eyes to flutter closed as he let out a low moan. His arms snaked around to hold Gan Ning's back as he willingly impaled himself again and again. Gan Ning's head was thrown back and he held onto Sun Ce's shoulders tightly, his breathing fast and shallow and Sun Ce's name echoing repeatedly across his lips.
Sun Ce rolled his hips up into every one of the downward thrusts. He needed Gan Ning so badly and it was killing him inside but when they were like this, and when they were moving together, everything else faded away and there was nothing else that mattered apart from them and the whole little universe that seemed to revolve around them. Sun Ce's hand slipped between them and he helped work Gan Ning higher into his own bliss, his other hand moving up so his fingers were splayed in chocolate brown hair. Gan Ning's grip on Sun Ce's shoulders tightened and red marks appeared under his fingertips but Sun Ce didn't care.
The way Sun Ce stroked him inside and out sent sweet tremors through his body and he came, leaning back further into Sun Ce's hand as it cradled his head, moaning loudly. Sun Ce's hands moved to Gan Ning's back and he pulled Gan Ning tightly to his chest as he climaxed deep inside him. They sat there for a few moments while they caught their breath.
Sun Ce kissed Gan Ning's neck and lifted the smaller man off him, laying him down.
"Please don't go...?"
Sun Ce replied by putting a finger to his lips. Gan Ning sat up as Sun Ce put a large cushion behind him and they both lay down, Sun Ce pulling the blanket over them. He felt Gan Ning's arm wrap around his chest and he pulled Gan Ning close to him, the feel of his skin against his own sending a feeling of familiarity through him. He sighed and blocked out thoughts of the following morning as he and his lover drifted off to sleep. The candle light was dying and soon there was nothing left but melted wax.
**************************************
The early morning sun sent weak rays of light through the window of Gan Ning's room, awakening Sun Ce from his slumber. He rubbed his eyes wearily and looked over the window. It was early in the morning. He didn't have to be out until late in the morning, which gave him time to just hold Gan Ning, the knot in his stomach growing tighter. He knew it couldn't last from the start. After all, he was Sun Ce, son of Sun Jian. What was the probability that he was allowed to be with a man when he is the son of Wu's leader? True, it wasn't like he was never going to see Gan Ning again, but it was going to be hard when he was moving to a whole new Wu camp. What if he and Gan Ning moved away and bought a house somewhere...Sun Ce sighed, it was wishful thinking. All he was good at was fighting.
The little light blinked at him, willing him to get up. He still had a long time till he had to take the carriage to the next town and then continue his journey to the East camp; he could lay there a little longer. He breathed in the citrus scent of Gan Ning's hair, wanting to capture every part of him that he could before he had to leave it all behind. He kissed his way along Gan Ning's tattoo and up to his lips. He wanted to leave now before he woke up. He wanted to avoid the tears and most of all he didn't want to say goodbye, he wanted to pretend that he didn't have to leave after all. He didn't want to awaken him from such a peaceful sleep just to bring him back to reality. Sun Ce felt that reality pretty much sucked at the moment.
He sighed and sat down next to Gan Ning while he stroked his hair. His eyes fluttered open.
"Ce?"
He looked up at Sun Ce, rubbing his eyes sleepily.
"Yeah, it's me."
Gan Ning smiled and brought Sun Ce's head down to him gently with his hand, kissing him before lying back down.
"How come you're up so early?" He asked but he knew the answer as soon as the words left his lips and his smile vanished, "...oh..."
Sun Ce sighed loudly, kissing Gan Ning once more before standing up and beginning to pull on his clothes.
"I've got to be at the carriage soon so I better get ready. You'll be there right?"
"Where else would I go?" he asked, echoing the words said by Sun Ce the night before sadly.
Sun Ce pulled on his robe before leaning down to kiss him for the last time before he left the room.
Gan Ning wanted to cry but there were no more tears to shed.
********************************************
"It's time, Lord Sun Ce, let us be on our way." The carriage driver said, sitting at the front of the carriage with two black horses pulling it.
"Just a little while longer...?" Sun Ce asked, looking around nervously.
Sun Quan nodded. Sun Jian was not able to accept the fact, so he was not there to see his son off.
Where *was* he? Everyone but the person he wanted to see had turned up to say goodbye, Xiao Qiao, Da Qiao, Sun Shang Xiang, Zhou Tai, Lu Xun...everyone but Gan Ning. He sighed and picked up his bags, handing it to the driver. The driver walked around to the back and put it inside. Where the hell was he?
"Where's Gan Ning?" Xiao Qiao asked Lu Xun quietly.
"I don't know...he should be here."
Suddenly running footsteps could be heard echoing in the crisp morning air and they saw Gan Ning running up the stone path towards them. Sun Ce breathed a sigh of relief as the active boy ran up to him.
"I thought you weren't going to make it..."
"I, I didn't want to see you go, but I didn't want you going without saying goodbye either." he admitted.
Sun Ce's face was sad, his eyes not bearing their usual brightness. Gan Ning's wore the same pleading look and he held Sun Ce's hands.
"Please Lord Sun Ce. Let us be on our way." The driver said impatiently.
"Well...goodbye everyone." Sun Ce said quietly, turning to where the others stood. He received quiet goodbyes in return. He turned back to where Gan Ning looked up at him, his eyes glassy behind tears that threatened to overflow. He put his hand to Gan Ning's cheek and moved closer to him so that they were nose to nose.
"You remember what I said don't you? We'll meet up whenever we can."
"You mean it?" Gan Ning asked quietly.
"You don't think being in another place could keep me away from you for long do you?"
Gan Ning smiled faintly, leaning forward to kiss Sun Ce softly on the lips before pulling him close to him, kissing him intensely. He longed to keep Sun Ce by him but as he pulled away he sighed, his hands still resting on Sun Ce's waist.
"I've got to go...goodbye Gan Ning." He said quietly and Gan Ning thought he heard his voice crack slightly.
He kissed Gan Ning gently once more on the lips.
"Goodbye." Gan Ning replied looking up at Sun Ce, memorising the hazel eyes which he loved so much and often consumed his soul.
Sun Ce pulled away and the driver opened the door. Sun Ce sat down and the door slammed shut, an old piece of wood, which echoed through Gan Ning's body. Sun Ce's gaze never left Gan Ning's, a terrible sadness in his eyes as he leant against the window, the carriage pulling away. Gan Ning stood there until it had disappeared into the distance, hugging himself to keep warm, as if Sun Ce's absence had taken away all warmth. He felt arms wrap around him and he was brought back to his senses. It was Xiao Qiao.
"Do you want me to get you anything Gan Ning?" she asked while she hugged him.
'Sun Ce...'
"No. I-I just wanna be alone." He said quietly as Xiao Qiao released him.
He turned away from them and walked back towards the Wu camp, still holding himself.
"He's really gone isn't he?" Da Qiao asked, still not believing that Sun Ce had left. After all, she did have some feelings for Sun Ce until the main hall incident. Her heart was completely shattered when the truth was unveiled right before her very own eyes in the main hall.
"Yeah...it's weird. I wonder how Gan Ning's taking it." Xiao Qiao replied, sighing loudly afterwards.
"I know, I feel sorry for him." Da Qiao said, sounding weary.
"Poor Gan Ning..." Lu Xun said sadly, watching the former pirate walk away.
If only they knew that Sun Ce leaving was only the beginning of Gan Ning's troubles.