Chapter Nineteen - Awaken
White.
His eyelids felt heavy and he felt drowsy, as if awakening from a long, deep sleep.
White.
He realised that he was lying down, looking up towards what must be the sky. He ached a little but apart from that he felt all right.
'So drowsy though...'
The white ceiling came into focus. He blinked a few times before he felt a hand on his own, squeezing it softly.
"You're awake."
"Xiao?" he asked, noticing that his mouth was extremely dry from lack of speaking.
"Yes," she said, half smiling before rapidly changing her expression, "Gan Ning, I was...I was so worried..."
Gan Ning turned his head and saw that Xiao Qiao looked like she was on the verge of tears and the lack of sleep was evident on her pale face.
"Where am I? What's wrong?" he asked, feeling Xiao Qiao's grip on him tighten.
"You're in the infirmary..."
"But I - "
Gan Ning sifted through his mind. What he found made his eyes open wide.
"Uh...o...Xiao.."
Gan Ning sat bolt upright, his breathing coming in fast and shallow. Xiao Qiao watched as he put his head in his hands.
"Oh Gan Ning..."
Xiao Qiao sat next to him, wrapping her arms around him. After a few moments she was shrugged away. Gan Ning sat there wrapped up in his white blanket as he rest his head on his knees, his hands covering his face. After a few moments he spoke again, his voice shaking and muffled.
"H-how did I get here?"
"When you didn't come back at midnight I was worried. Da Qiao said that you were probably still in the restaurant but I told Sun Quan anyway. We went out looking for you and..." her voice cracked, "I'm so sorry Gan Ning, I'm so sorry..."
Xiao Qiao could hear Gan Ning sniffling into his hands. He didn't look up.
"Where did you find me?"
"I...I found you behind an old hut near the jetty. I'm so sorry..." she said again, and she couldn't hold back the tears that stung her eyes, "It's all my fault, I'm so sorry, so sorry..."
Gan Ning looked up, wiping his face on the blanket.
"It's not your fault. Don't cry Xiao Qiao, I can't take anymore."
Xiao Qiao didn't stop.
"But it is! I was the one who *sniff* who said you should go to the restaurant. I should've waited for you, I shouldn't have left you..."
Xiao Qiao couldn't talk anymore as tears ran down her face. She should've been there, so why wasn't she? How could she let this happen?
She looked over to Gan Ning again whose face seemed as tear-stained as her own. He pulled her a little closer and Xiao Qiao wrapped her arms around him. They stayed there for a long time holding each other; Xiao Qiao sobbing into Gan Ning's shoulder and Gan Ning's face buried into the crook of her neck, his eyes squeezed shut. He pulled away when Xiao Qiao's sobbing had been reduced to mere sniffling.
"How long have I been here?" he asked, wiping his cheek on the back of his hand.
"You...you've been here for three days now. Da Qiao used several potions and herbs on you. God Gan Ning, I only wanted you to have a good time..." she finished, her voice starting to crack again.
"Please, please don't cry Xiao Qiao. It's not your fault. Okay?" he said, feeling that seeing her cry again would set him off.
Xiao Qiao took in a deep breath.
"I-I'm sorry Gan Ning. Listen, do you want me to get Sun Ce to come see you?"
Gan Ning's eyes widened and his face broke into a panicked expression.
"NO! No, no, no, no..." he repeated in a whispered voice until Xiao Qiao gripped his shoulders.
"Okay, okay. But I think he should see you, it might help."
"No" Gan Ning shook his head vigorously, "He can't see me like this...I-I don't want him to know..."
"But-"
"No. Please Xiao Qiao. Promise me you won't tell Sun Ce?" he said, a pleading look on his face.
"Okay..." she said after a few moments, hugging Gan Ning again.
"Thank you." he said, before hesitantly asking, "Did..Did you find them?"
Xiao Qiao looked away from him, not able to meet his gaze.
"Kind of...We got rough descriptions but from what we found they weren't from around here, probably workers from another place who came over by boat. I'm sorry..."
"Okay." Gan Ning replied as calmly as he could, "Xiao?"
"Yes?"
"Could I be alone for a while?"
Xiao Qiao nodded weakly and stood up, straightening out her dress, "See you later. If you need anything at all call for me, 'kay?"
Gan Ning nodded back and watched her leave. When he heard the closing door he couldn't hold it in anymore. He lay down on his stomach, pulling the pillow up over his head to muffle the sounds of his sobs.
White.
His eyelids felt heavy and he felt drowsy, as if awakening from a long, deep sleep.
White.
He realised that he was lying down, looking up towards what must be the sky. He ached a little but apart from that he felt all right.
'So drowsy though...'
The white ceiling came into focus. He blinked a few times before he felt a hand on his own, squeezing it softly.
"You're awake."
"Xiao?" he asked, noticing that his mouth was extremely dry from lack of speaking.
"Yes," she said, half smiling before rapidly changing her expression, "Gan Ning, I was...I was so worried..."
Gan Ning turned his head and saw that Xiao Qiao looked like she was on the verge of tears and the lack of sleep was evident on her pale face.
"Where am I? What's wrong?" he asked, feeling Xiao Qiao's grip on him tighten.
"You're in the infirmary..."
"But I - "
Gan Ning sifted through his mind. What he found made his eyes open wide.
"Uh...o...Xiao.."
Gan Ning sat bolt upright, his breathing coming in fast and shallow. Xiao Qiao watched as he put his head in his hands.
"Oh Gan Ning..."
Xiao Qiao sat next to him, wrapping her arms around him. After a few moments she was shrugged away. Gan Ning sat there wrapped up in his white blanket as he rest his head on his knees, his hands covering his face. After a few moments he spoke again, his voice shaking and muffled.
"H-how did I get here?"
"When you didn't come back at midnight I was worried. Da Qiao said that you were probably still in the restaurant but I told Sun Quan anyway. We went out looking for you and..." her voice cracked, "I'm so sorry Gan Ning, I'm so sorry..."
Xiao Qiao could hear Gan Ning sniffling into his hands. He didn't look up.
"Where did you find me?"
"I...I found you behind an old hut near the jetty. I'm so sorry..." she said again, and she couldn't hold back the tears that stung her eyes, "It's all my fault, I'm so sorry, so sorry..."
Gan Ning looked up, wiping his face on the blanket.
"It's not your fault. Don't cry Xiao Qiao, I can't take anymore."
Xiao Qiao didn't stop.
"But it is! I was the one who *sniff* who said you should go to the restaurant. I should've waited for you, I shouldn't have left you..."
Xiao Qiao couldn't talk anymore as tears ran down her face. She should've been there, so why wasn't she? How could she let this happen?
She looked over to Gan Ning again whose face seemed as tear-stained as her own. He pulled her a little closer and Xiao Qiao wrapped her arms around him. They stayed there for a long time holding each other; Xiao Qiao sobbing into Gan Ning's shoulder and Gan Ning's face buried into the crook of her neck, his eyes squeezed shut. He pulled away when Xiao Qiao's sobbing had been reduced to mere sniffling.
"How long have I been here?" he asked, wiping his cheek on the back of his hand.
"You...you've been here for three days now. Da Qiao used several potions and herbs on you. God Gan Ning, I only wanted you to have a good time..." she finished, her voice starting to crack again.
"Please, please don't cry Xiao Qiao. It's not your fault. Okay?" he said, feeling that seeing her cry again would set him off.
Xiao Qiao took in a deep breath.
"I-I'm sorry Gan Ning. Listen, do you want me to get Sun Ce to come see you?"
Gan Ning's eyes widened and his face broke into a panicked expression.
"NO! No, no, no, no..." he repeated in a whispered voice until Xiao Qiao gripped his shoulders.
"Okay, okay. But I think he should see you, it might help."
"No" Gan Ning shook his head vigorously, "He can't see me like this...I-I don't want him to know..."
"But-"
"No. Please Xiao Qiao. Promise me you won't tell Sun Ce?" he said, a pleading look on his face.
"Okay..." she said after a few moments, hugging Gan Ning again.
"Thank you." he said, before hesitantly asking, "Did..Did you find them?"
Xiao Qiao looked away from him, not able to meet his gaze.
"Kind of...We got rough descriptions but from what we found they weren't from around here, probably workers from another place who came over by boat. I'm sorry..."
"Okay." Gan Ning replied as calmly as he could, "Xiao?"
"Yes?"
"Could I be alone for a while?"
Xiao Qiao nodded weakly and stood up, straightening out her dress, "See you later. If you need anything at all call for me, 'kay?"
Gan Ning nodded back and watched her leave. When he heard the closing door he couldn't hold it in anymore. He lay down on his stomach, pulling the pillow up over his head to muffle the sounds of his sobs.