**Note: I said I was gonna put up two chapters, but I cancelled the plan and put this chapter first. Just for everyone who kept e-mailing me for updates. Hope you will like this one, and please review. Next chapter to come soon.

Chapter Twenty-Nine - Under the Stars

"Find him. Be happy."

Gan Ning ran Xiao Qiao's words from two nights ago around his head yet again. If only it were that simple, after all, how could he forget what had happened over the last six months or so? But what other options did he have? He didn't want to feel like this anymore, just out of reach.

The sun was setting in town which is by the sea, the seawater reflecting the sun's dying rays. It was an eerily beautiful site to behold, so perfect but deadly all the same. He'd told himself that it was stupid to go walking around town and the jetty as it was getting dark but he needed the fresh air that came in with the tide, despite the painful memories that it brought.

It's not like he'd be there for long, and he had his Sea Master sword with him anyway, a gift from Sun Jian from a year back after the battle of Xia Kou. He walked straight to the jetty.

He sat down, his legs dangling over the dock a few feet above the calm water. He needed to think and for some reason he'd come here. He didn't know why, maybe it was to prove to himself that he shouldn't be afraid anymore, or maybe it was just because it was so peaceful at this time of the evening, since the seabirds were quieter and the sea wasn't as rough.

How could he even begin to talk to Sun Ce? He hated him and loved him all at the same time, but he got the nagging feeling that the later feeling was beginning to grow. He remembered something that he thought Xiao Qiao had said before.

"You can only truly hate the ones you love."

Maybe he'd heard it from Da Qiao or Lu Xun, he couldn't remember, but he did know that it applied perfectly for the way he felt right now. He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes as he breathed out, the warm breeze feeling good across his face.

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Things were going no-where for Sun Ce. He was stuck up in his room in the house nearby the jetty, cleaning one of his Overlord tonfa, while Zhou Yu sat on his bed cleaning the other Overlord tonfa." He couldn't take much more of this, not that he disliked Zhou Yu's company, but that wasn't why he was here. He was not on vacation, he had a goal here and he'd decided that it was about time that he fulfilled it.

He stood up, placing his newly polished Overlord back in its case before leaning against the window, looking out at the sunset. Zhou Yu looked up at him curiously and placed the other Overlord in the same case.

"What's wrong?"

Sun Ce sighed, pressing his head against the window frame.

"The usual. What d'you reckon I should do?"

"The same thing that I said you should do before. Go. Find. Him." Zhou Yu said wearily.

He could see the people in town closing up their shops and heading home, leaving the streets quiet, almost deserted. He'd been around town a few times with Gan Ning, going out to get a quiet drink or just to walk in the peaceful twilight. He looked out across the jetty.

He felt so guilty after hearing what had happened to Gan Ning in his absence, and the worst part was that he didn't deserve it, not any of it. He knew how Gan Ning took things to heart and how something like *that* could destroy him. Why wasn't he there to help?

Suddenly his eyes focused on a person, sitting alone at the dock. He couldn't see them clearly but in the darkness he could still make out the spiked brown hair, a bandanna with two feathers and tattoos dancing up the arms. He blinked. Could it be him? He'd take that chance.

Zhou Yu noticed Sun Ce rushing across the room to slip on his outer robe hastily.

"Where ya goin'?"

"Gan Ning, he's there. I've gotta go." Sun Ce said quickly, and without another word the door shut behind him.

Zhou Yu smiled to himself and grabbed a book to read as he heard Sun Ce's boots echoing down the stairs.

*************************************************

It was getting colder now the sun had gone down and Gan Ning considered going back home. He'd thought enough for one day. He was about to stand up when he heard footsteps coming from behind him. He turned, pulling the Sea Master out and holding it out in front of himself defensively, a panicked look on his face. That was until he realised who it was.

Sun Ce didn't say a word, watching the sword intently before putting his hands out in front of him to show that he wasn't there for a conflict. Gan Ning hesitantly held the sword down and turned back to the sea, barely acknowledging Sun Ce's presence, although his mind was trying to figure out what to do next.

"Can I sit down?" Sun Ce asked to the back of Gan Ning's head.

Gan Ning shrugged in response. An improvement, at least he didn't seem determined to smash him into a pulp in this encounter. He sat down beside Gan Ning, careful to leave a few inches distance between them. He sighed loudly, watching Gan Ning's eyes gaze out across the water. He looked so different from how Sun Ce remembered him. His face was paler than usual, his cheekbones standing out slightly more, and he had dark rings around his eyes. His movements were different too, more reluctant and weary. That's not how he remembered him at all; the Gan Ning he knew was light-hearted and energetic. He watched a while longer. Gan Ning seemed to be in deep thought.

"What are you thinking about?" Sun Ce asked, and the question just came naturally. It was something he always asked Gan Ning when he was quiet, since it was an unusual occurrence.

Gan Ning tilted his head just a little towards him, looking from his eyes to the floor they sat on.

"Stuff..."

Sun Ce almost smiled when he replied with his regular answer, which didn't actually answer his question at all. It was almost as if nothing had changed, but then Gan Ning looked away again, down at his feet.

Sun Ce paused. This chance to make things right again was too perfect. They were finally all alone and Gan Ning was finally letting him talk. It was like he was back in the secret area, the stars shining down on them and the scent of exotic plants lingering in the air like rich perfume. He'd taken the chance then and he was going to take it now.

"Gan Ning, I'm sorry...for everything that's happened. If I'd have known-"

"Ssh." Gan Ning turned, placing his finger on Sun Ce's lips to silence him, but he pulled his hand away as if it had been burnt the second the contact registered. "You didn't know, I know that. But you didn't even bother to see if I was alright...You just slept...with..."

Gan Ning's voice dwindled into silence as it grew quieter, and he turned his head away slowly. Sun Ce took Gan Ning by surprise and turned his head softly with his hand so he was facing him again. Gan Ning blinked, frozen as the warm hand caressed his cheek.

"I know, but I just wanna put that behind us. I didn't know you still loved me Gan Ning, I thought you'd left me and I dealt with that badly." Gan Ning tried to interrupt but he continued, "I'm not trying to make excuses. Instead of facing my problems I ran away from them and that's not something I'm proud of. I just want you to forgive me...please? I want to help turn you back into the person you were before...I hate seeing you in pain Gan Ning, it hurts me."

"...I'm hurting too." Gan Ning said quietly, looking into Sun Ce's eyes as if they withheld the answers to all his problems. He had forgotten how lost he could get just looking into those eyes, how detached from himself he could feel.

"I know..."

Sun Ce couldn't believe that he'd let himself add to Gan Ning's pain. Gan Ning had changed him so much, made himself a totally different person, one that he could bear to be...and he'd changed Gan Ning too, but not for the better. He'd strived so hard to get near Gan Ning, and he was so grateful to be let into his life. Then he ruined it. He held his Gan Ning's gaze, and he looked so lost, so very vulnerable. *He'd* done that to him.

Gan Ning couldn't deny it now, staring deeply into Sun Ce's eyes. He loved Sun Ce, no matter what he'd done...and he couldn't get through this depression alone, he needed him. He took a deep breath.

"I don't know if I can forgive you" he started, watching as Sun Ce looked back at him sadly, "and I can't forget what has happened...but I can live with it." He half-smiled, "because I know I can't live without you."

He meant it; every single word and Sun Ce knew it. That was all the forgiveness he needed, and he leaned forward, his face inches from Gan Ning's, holding his gaze until he found the permission he'd been searching for.

Sun Ce's lips pressed lightly against Gan Ning's, and he savoured the feeling of their skin touching for a moment before wrapping his arms around him, a little unsure of himself until Gan Ning did the same, pulling him closer. Gan Ning parted his lips, deepening the kiss and letting Sun Ce take back what was his...and what he'd always have; him. The warmth of Sun Ce's mouth consumed him, warming his whole body despite the cold night air.

Sun Ce's fingers ran through his hair and nothing else mattered but the feeling of Sun Ce touching him, the heat of his body next to his own. He never thought he could be as gentle as he was being right now, Sun Ce's tongue finding his own and sliding against it slowly, the kiss seeming to last forever, and he wished it would. He would give anything just to stay like this for the rest of his life, held in Sun Ce's arms. He finally felt safe.

When Sun Ce pulled away he sighed. He wanted to say something but he couldn't find the right words, but it didn't matter as Sun Ce sat beside him, his arms wrapped around him. He nestled into the warmth of Sun Ce's chest and simply closed his eyes, his tiredness catching up on him. Sun Ce was just as content holding him close. Before he drifted off Sun Ce tapped him lightly on the shoulder, causing him to sit up, looking at him curiously.

"I have something for you."

Sun Ce's hand fumbled inside his robe before he took out a shiny bell necklace and handed it to Gan Ning.

"Just call it a late birthday present, okay?"

Gan Ning held the necklace in his palm, watching as it glinted in the moonlight. Sun Ce took it from him and proceeded to put it up against his neck, fastening it for him. Gan Ning ran his finger across the bells slowly, looking back at Sun Ce. Sun Ce knew Gan Ning has lost the necklace and understood the significance of this gift, how much it meant to Gan Ning.

"Thank you," he said quietly before Sun Ce kissed him lightly on the forehead, holding him close again. Their hearts are on fire once again.

From the window of the house Zhou Yu watched, a smile on his face. It was a nice feeling to see them make up and just sit there, gazing up at the stars. He considered telling them both to come in and get out of the cold...but he didn't want to ruin it. The moment seemed fragile, too perfect to intrude in. He knew how hard moments like that were to come by, and they made him think of the moments he'd shared with Sun Ce. It may have stung when he did so, but looking down at Gan Ning and Sun Ce gave him a little hope. He simply pulled across the curtains and lay back down on the bed, still smiling.