Tittle : The Story of Us Part 1
Author : Faith
Author's note : I love doing alternative story of Bobby and Lindsay, so this is another one of those, hope you won't get bored, and hope you like it ;D
Disclaimer : Like everyone says DEK has them...;[
Dedication :
for Lynds...thank you soooooo much for everything...this one's for you....
For Jewel, I'm writing....I hope you are too...;D
For everyone on this nice community, love you all ;D
For all writers out there...KEEP WRITING GUYS!!!!!!
Summary :
Oh pleaaaase, do I have to???? K, let see...
This is set way...way back, I'll give too much if I tell you now, Helen and every other member of the firm will come out when it's their turn [ you'll know what i mean if you read the story] Okay, Thanks...and enjoy....
*******
Part 1
" Sorry I'm late...traffic..." Bobby kisses Lindsay hello before taking a seat in front of her.
" It's fine...I already ordered...our favourite..." She smiles looking at him. They have been dating for almost 2 months now, after their frequent meeting on a park they now call, their park. Since the first time they met, there has been this bond, feels like they have known each other so well. How they share their days, and then their stories, so easily since the very first time. And how they enjoyed each other's company immensely, feeling like the world's stop when they are together.
" You wait long?"
" Not really..." Linday answers, but continues." You have to pay though...." She smiles secretively.
" No.....do I have to???" Bobby plays along with her game.
" Yup...dinner tonight...you in charge...no arguments...no being late...again!" Lindsay smiles even more looking at Bobby's fake miserable face over the punishment.
" At least you don't make me cook..." Bobby looks at her pleadingly. " No...you don't..."
" Yes I do...." Lindsay laughs when Bobby stick his foot to her calves, and admonishes him with her glare, which ofcourse do not phase him.
They have to stop though when the-not-so-pleased-with-their-attitude-waitress serve their lunch.
They smiles at each other knowingly before craving to their hunger, dig into the-seems-to-be-delicious-food.
*****
They walk leisurely on the quiet park after, hand in hand, taking in the beauty, enjoying their time together.
" Sometimes i want to be just like those trees." Lindsay breaks the comfortable silence, looking at the beautiful surrounding.
" Why?"
" You know, they lost their leaves during autumn, but when the spring arrives, they live again, the leaves grow again, the flowers blossom, so beautiful. They can survive bad times, and it's a certain, it's a cycle they master perfectly." She has a dreamy look upon her face, and Bobby let go of her hand and instead holds her tight.
" I think we just like them." He says after a moment of silence.
" How so?" Lindsay looks up to see him looking faraway.
" We each has our bad time, sometimes we don't even know that we would survive, but there are things that keep us going...things that make us survive..." A pause " When I lost my mother...It was very hard...I never thought that I'd be able to really live again..." Bobby paused for awhile" I didn't...for a very long time." Bobby stops, and looks at her fondly, releasing his hold, giving the space, now looking down at her.
" Now?" Lindsay ask softly, not daring to believe she actually asked that question, not quite sure she's ready with the answer. Bobby gently caresses her face, and answers her with the only thought going through his mind.
" With YOU in my life?" He answer in a whisper, and smiles a little at Lindsay's obvious nervousness.
" It's beautiful now." Lindsay looks up to find his loving gaze, a smile on his lips. Bobby continue after a short pause.
" you help me find those beauty, Linds...You help me really live again...You're my life..." He knows how true his words are, even in their short time together, she helps him fill that empty void in his heart eversince his mother pass away, she helps him to forgive himself for taking that life support off of his mother, and she's help him through a lot of things that he has to go through, the day to day struggle of being a young, still scratch from the bottom criminal defense attorney. And looking at her radiant smile, he finally has the courage to say one thing he'd been struggling to say lately, one thing he already realized.
" I love you." It seems like forever to Bobby before Lindsay answers...
" I love you too..."
*******
Few weeks after
" Do you have to go this early???" Lindsay looks up at him getting ready for work from her comfortable place on the bed, it's still 8 o'clock in the morning.
" Yes, I have to..." Bobby stops his actions and looks at Lindsay still laying on his bed, he's all dressed up for the important meeting he has today. He moves to the bed and kiss Lindsay soundly on the lips. " And don't you dare say otherwise..." He adds playfully.
" I hate Monday..." Lindsay groans and gets up, helping him with his tie. She has spent the whole weekend on his apartment, and now is time to go back to their routine. " What time will you be back?" She's free today, and wants to spend her times with him.
" Late...." Seeing the disapointment on Lindsay's face he continues. " I have an important meeting with a new client, she's one of the blue chips client...and not a criminal." Bobby finish knowing how much Lindsay hates criminals.
" I never ban you from defending criminals Bobby, I just want you to be careful and look after yourself...they are not everything..." She straighten his shirt.
" I know. " Lindsay looks up only to get a well needed kiss. " YOU...ARE...everything." Bobby adds wholeheartedly. Lindsay is about to give a playful answer, but stop short seeing the sincerity in his eyes, and voice the only thing going through her mind...
" Thank you...." rewarding him with a kiss, he's so deserve.
******
" Okay...so tell me...what happened?" Bec stands in front of Bobby's desks, both hands on her chest, sick of the not knowing. She has notice the happy mood going on with Bobby the past few weeks, all the spontaneus smile, the dreamy looks, and she just want to know, NOW.
" What? What are you talking about?"
" Bobby...please....we don't have to do twenty questions here...just come right out about it....or you want me to drill it out of you..."
" What I...." Bobby can't lie to the woman that he has considered his bestfriend, truth to be told, he has been dying to tell her everything, ask for some suggestion maybe, on what to do, everybody knows he is completely clueless as to how to treat the woman he loves, since he never have the experience.
" I met someone...." He says just above a whispher.
" Come again?" Bec takes a seat on the couch, looking at him, still having both her hands on her chest.
" I said...I met someone." He says again, louder this time, walking from his desk, to sit on the chair near the couch. Here comes the explanation, and he is not afraid, he wants to shout it to the world, he has met someone.
" Really? Someone I know? "
" I don't think so...."
" Okay...tell me about her..." Bec order again. " Come on Bobby we don't have forever, your appointment is in an hour." Bec gives him her imploring eyes.
" Her name is Lindsay....we meet few months ago... and she...She is just so....she's incredible, Bec, so amazing...she's just the greatest woman I know...I..." Bobby shakes his head, smiling, consumed by his feeling for her. " She makes me feels all the things I have never felt before and more....she makes me feel so alife....and she's just...so..." Bobby trails off not finding the right words to express the way he feels.
" You're in love...." Bec knowing him the way she does, stating the obvious truth.
" Yeah...i am...." Bec is taken aback, expecting some denial not really ready with the truthful answer.
" Have you told her???" She asks after a short silence.
" Yes....i have....you never think that I'd be able to do that, huh?" Bobby teases a little finding the course of the conversation a little to serious.
" Yup, never thought you could..." Bec answers equally playfull, but she's serious with her next words " she must have been a very extraordinary woman to get you like that..." She knows Bobby well enough, he never let himself to feel love, to fall in love, and now....
" Yeah..she is..." Bobby smiles. " She is just so...." He struggle to find the right word.
" I know...." Bec saves him from having to try to find the yet unfound word. " Now, go get ready for your meeting." She pats his knee.
" Who made you boss, here??? huh???..." Bobby teases and gets up and goes back to his chair, while Bec starting to get out of the office, but before she close the door though, she turns around. " Bobby...."
" Yeah?" Bobby looks up from his work.
" Congratulation...I'm happy for you...." And she means it, Bobby has every right to feel happy and in love, despite what people think of him, he is a good man, a great man in fact. And if this woman can make him this happy, she knows she'll like her too. She just wish that he won't get hurt, he got too much heartache to last him a lifetime.
" Thank you..." A pause. " I'll introduce you to her soon...." Bobby answers and smiles. " You'll love her." he adds. He has been wanting to do that since the very first time he realized how infatuated he is by Lindsay, Bec has been his bestfriend, his sounding board.
" I bet....now work!" Bec points to the pile of files on his desk, and gets out.
*******
Lindsay walks in the apartment she, now, is so accustomed with, and makes her way to the kitchen, efficiently preparing the food for their dinner, humming a tone from her favourite song.
" Hei..." Bobby's voice surprised her. He leans in the doorway, both hands over his chest, looking lost.
" God, you scared me Bobby...I didn't know you already home." Lindsay walks up to him and kiss him hello. Noticing his detached stage.
" What's wrong? " She asks stroking his cheek lovingly. Bobby was silence for a while before answering her.
" I met a woman today..." Bobby answers, but not really looking at her, his eyes looking faraway
" Yeah? Tell me about it..." Judging from his defeated, troubled expression, Lindsay guesses its probably one of those client that makes him questioning all about his profession, those times that he feels insecure and unsure, asking again about humanity, and justice. It's a job that can cause a lot of heartache, a lot of soulsearching, that will expose him to so many injustice and cruelty of the world, and she wants to help him go through all of that. She knows how closed off Bobby can be, and so thankful that he finally able to open up to her, that he can share all things happening to him, even his past with her so easily, and how she can also do the same with him.
" It's a woman asking me to help her on her divorce."
" And?" By now, Lindsay is holding both of his hand, looking into his eyes, but he seems to refuse looking back at her.
" Her name is Suzanne Dole..." They both went silent before Bobby finally looks at her, seeing Lindsay's frozen hearing the name.
Bobby's look gives her all the answer that he knows everything already.
" Who are you, Lindsay...and What do you want?"
Bobby asks her emphasizing each words, tears welled in his eyes. He frees himself from Lindsay, needing some space.
" Bobby...I..." Lindsay starts to explain but the look on Bobby's face stops her short. He looks so deeply hurt.
" I don't...I don't know you at all...all this time and you were..." Bobby can't finish his words, realizing that all the beautiful times they have shared all this time has been based on lies, her lies, she's been lying to him all this time.
" Bobby...please..."
" What do you want Lindsay...What..." Bobby broke off again, feeling his heart shattered.
" Bobby...." Lindsay tries to calm him, reaching for him. Trying to help him, she hates seeing him hurting.
But his feling of being betrayed got the better of him, and he lost control.
" No, you listen...All this time you were lying to me, all those...you...I can't believe...God...all this time..." He moves away, not even want to look into that face, those eyes, the person he cherises with all his heart, the one he's been wanting to spend the rest of his life with. He feels like a fool, she's kidding him, playing with him. He still feels how his heart stop short looking at her pictures on that big Victorian house today. Right up from her younger years until her most recent one, filling every corner of that house. Finally know what she's been hiding all this time, finally realize that she's been lying to him.
Lindsay's mom has told him everything, in her 'proud mother' way, and how she's been so worried about his precious only daughter. Lindsay being their family little princes, everybody ready to gives her all that she wants, and how the family problem really get to her, making her turn from the sweet, caring, innocent, obedient Lindsay, into a troubled, ignorant, always breaking the rule Lindsay.
She told him how Lindsay has spent most of her time on her friends' house, Bobby thinks bitterly on that....her friends....she spent all those time, with him....every weekend the past few months, and almost every chance they got. How can he be that stupid...Lindsay...looking at her now, he can see her actually being 16, he thought it was all those make up-less thing, how stupid...He has been blind, so gullible, but he won't be anymore, he won't let her play him like a fool...
She has played with him, lying to him, telling him all those stories of her being a staff in one of company in town, which now he knows, belong to her mother. Telling him of her being 21, drop out of college, because of money problems...how he now, laugh at that idea, knowing how wealthy her family is, of her parents splitting up...okay so that one is true...but he doesn't know...which are the truths and which are her lies...
He can understand now, why each time he even mention the idea of her meeting some of his friends or relatives, or him wanting to meet hers scares the hell out of her. They will see what he has been so blind of. He remembers the time when he wanted her to go along with him meeting his dad, she said it was too soon, and he believed her. He didn't want to press further, afraid in doing so, he would push her away, now, he knows better...and how that hurts...that she has been lying to him...betraying their trust....trust...he thinks bitterly on that one...they never had that....
Lindsay knew someday this time would come, he will find out the truth, 'the truth will come out in the end' and how she knows it could really be 'the end', she just doesn't really prepare for this, hell she won't be prepared for this, she knew lying to him from the start will backfired at her,he would be hurt, she would be hurt.
But not lying to him was not and will never be her choice, cos that will just kill even the slightest chance of them together, her age alone will deter him, that one she's sure off, Bobby will just think of her as a kid, a 16 years old girl, not mature enough to face the world, to be in love, to feel love, and to share it with him, to accompany him through this life, but all that she's been through, she knows more than her age, all her experience makes her maturer, giving her the privilege and ability to see life as if she were older, she knows what she's feeling.
And if Bobby can face the age problem, there would be her social status, along with it all of her families and their relatives and friends, the fact that her family is just one of the richest, most respected family in Boston, the world that Bobby never like, never want to be a part of, all his stories show that, she knows if Bobby had known about her from the beginning, there would be no 'them'. But looking at his dejected postures now, with the pain clearly showing on his face, his demeanor, she knows how much she has hurt him.
Bobby respects honesty, and truth, and she's been lying to him all this time. But she never lies to him about her love, and she's gonna make him see, she's gonna convince him, and hopefully he will believe her, cos that's the only thing she knows will make all this heartache and pain go away, and will get them through all the barriers she knows are on their way. If they're gonna make it, she just have to let him see. The truth....She walks up to him, taking his hand, that just hang lifelesly beside him.
" I love you...." She says that slowly...above a whisper. " I love you, Bobby..." She says it stronger this time.
Bobby shakes his head, though he can hear sincerity, and plea there in those three words that always sent him flying when those are said by the woman now saying it, with her hands holding his tight. He can't look at her knowing when and if he does he will just give in into those eyes pleading for him to believe her. He knows Lindsay believes that she loves him, but he knows better. It's not love, it's her need of security, of feeling not alone.
He knows how loosing a family can be, he has had his share when his mom passed away. She was the one holding the family together, and when she was gone, the family just starting to fall apart. He was so alone, so lost, and how he hate the world that time. How he never felt at home and so at ease with someone, until he met Lindsay.How his heart breaks at that thought...The thought that she doesn't love him when he feels so strongly for her, when he knows she's his world, when he wants to gives her his all.
" I love you...." He hears her say that again in her shaky whispher, and knows she's been crying. How he hates it when she cries.
" You don't know that..." Bobby shakes his head again, stopping Lindsay from denying his claim. " You're so young...You're..." He broke off.
Bobby tries to let her see what he finally see. This is not love for her, she can't be...in love...she's still to young to understand love, life, and she still has her whole future in front of her. A future he knows will be ruin if he's in there. Her mother has told him about that Harvard dream, how Lindsay always wants to go there, of her dreams for the society, her noble goal to give her best to everyone.
But There is this part of him, that wants him to believe that her love is true, that her love is real, but that same part, as much as it wants her to stay with him despite all her lies, can't let her, cos that will just end her dream. He would never able to give her the world she's always dream of, he's still scratching in the bottom, just starting his life, his dream, a life and dreams, that until few hours ago he wants to share with her.
But having her in his life as beautiful that is, can not happen cos that would just kill all her dreams for her future. That Harvard dreams....a young lawyer barely keeping his own office from eviction, will not able to provide her a Harvard education along with all the life her parents and families have to offer, a life she so deserve, a life she's been having all along.
And there's this other parts sick of all her lies, wanting to get out fast. A part that's always shown to the world. The part that's always afraid of love, that just been cast aside in the time with Lindsay. He let those part of him fade away, but now, knowing everything, his defenses come to a whole new level. His fear of being left by people he loves, how that's always true.
He doesn't want her to leave him, but deep in his heart he knows she would...so why prolong it....she has to leave...he has to push her away...she can't be with him more cos then he wouldn't know how to let her go...he doesn't even know how he can let her go now...let alone...
" You're so young...." Bobby repeats again.
Lindsay is sick of being regarded too young, she knows her feeling, and she hates the fact that not even Bobby believes in her, he doubts her, doubts that she even knows her own feeling.
" So?" She asks snidely, leting go of his hand, moving away from him, her defense up.
" So? Lindsay...I can't believe this." Bobby shakes his head, anger takes hold.
" What? You regret being with me? I may be young, but I know what I'm feeling, I'm sure of it, and I'm not afraid to admit it to you, I love you, and I want to be with you!" Lindsay tries to reach him again, looking at his harden compsure, knowing they won't resolve this with anger, but she just wants him to believe her, DAMN IT!
" You don't know what you're talking about!"
" What?"
" Linds...You're so young...You..."
" What? Inexperienced? That's not what you said lastnight."
Lindsay responds bitterly, she hates the situation that they are in now, they have been so happy, and she can not believe what has happened, the last couple of weeks have been filled with happiness and laughter, and now...She knows how she has hurt him, but she wishes he will believe her...but this Bobby is the Bobby she first met, the cold distance Bobby she always afraid of...
" You're not even taking it seriously."
" I am, taking it seriously...I know my feelings Bobby...now, do you?"
" Do I what?"
" Know what you're feeling?" Bobby caught off guard with that one.
" I don't know...It's not right....You realised i could get charged, or disbarred...you're..."
" So is that what you're afraid of? That you'll loose your member card "
" I'm not afraid...I love you...but it's not right...And I don't think that you really know what you're feeling right now, maybe it's just..." A pause.
" It's love for me Linds, It's real...but i don't think it is for you...you're too young to..."
" Oh please..." Lindsay cuts him off, sick of having him telling her of how young she is, sick of having him doubts about her, sick of having him not believeing in her, but Bobby's anger gets the better of him.
" What oh please....you lied to me...all those stories you shared...i don't even know which one is true...and ME what is me for you?....You know what i think? I think all of that are lies...you don't love me...you never did...all you care about is how to forget about your problems...how to runaway from it...or...or maybe how you can take revenge to your family...and why not...they know about this? they'll get ballistic...which is EXACTLY what you want..." Bobby stops taking a breath.
" I'm just your...OH HELL...I don't even know what I am to you..." He trailed off, stopping his rant, noticing the forlorn look of Lindsay now, standing just few feet in front of him.
" Is that really what you think of me?..." Lindsay not really registering all his word, voicing the question gnawing in her mind all this time. slowly. There is a full two minutes of silence before Bobby answers her.
" Truth?..." He looks at her, bracing himself to give her his truth.
" Yes..." He answer in his shaky whisper.
They stare at each other not uttering a word. Full of silence.
" Then I guess...there's nothing to talk about here..." She says to him bravely meeting his eyes, and breaks away before he can see how much he has hurt her.
Lindsay left the apartment without once looking back. She wipes the tears streaming down her face, not wanting to appear weak, while Bobby sit dejetectly on his sofa, looking like and feeling like he's lost his world.
end of part 1
What do you think????? Should I or shouldn't I continue this?????
Author : Faith
Author's note : I love doing alternative story of Bobby and Lindsay, so this is another one of those, hope you won't get bored, and hope you like it ;D
Disclaimer : Like everyone says DEK has them...;[
Dedication :
for Lynds...thank you soooooo much for everything...this one's for you....
For Jewel, I'm writing....I hope you are too...;D
For everyone on this nice community, love you all ;D
For all writers out there...KEEP WRITING GUYS!!!!!!
Summary :
Oh pleaaaase, do I have to???? K, let see...
This is set way...way back, I'll give too much if I tell you now, Helen and every other member of the firm will come out when it's their turn [ you'll know what i mean if you read the story] Okay, Thanks...and enjoy....
*******
Part 1
" Sorry I'm late...traffic..." Bobby kisses Lindsay hello before taking a seat in front of her.
" It's fine...I already ordered...our favourite..." She smiles looking at him. They have been dating for almost 2 months now, after their frequent meeting on a park they now call, their park. Since the first time they met, there has been this bond, feels like they have known each other so well. How they share their days, and then their stories, so easily since the very first time. And how they enjoyed each other's company immensely, feeling like the world's stop when they are together.
" You wait long?"
" Not really..." Linday answers, but continues." You have to pay though...." She smiles secretively.
" No.....do I have to???" Bobby plays along with her game.
" Yup...dinner tonight...you in charge...no arguments...no being late...again!" Lindsay smiles even more looking at Bobby's fake miserable face over the punishment.
" At least you don't make me cook..." Bobby looks at her pleadingly. " No...you don't..."
" Yes I do...." Lindsay laughs when Bobby stick his foot to her calves, and admonishes him with her glare, which ofcourse do not phase him.
They have to stop though when the-not-so-pleased-with-their-attitude-waitress serve their lunch.
They smiles at each other knowingly before craving to their hunger, dig into the-seems-to-be-delicious-food.
*****
They walk leisurely on the quiet park after, hand in hand, taking in the beauty, enjoying their time together.
" Sometimes i want to be just like those trees." Lindsay breaks the comfortable silence, looking at the beautiful surrounding.
" Why?"
" You know, they lost their leaves during autumn, but when the spring arrives, they live again, the leaves grow again, the flowers blossom, so beautiful. They can survive bad times, and it's a certain, it's a cycle they master perfectly." She has a dreamy look upon her face, and Bobby let go of her hand and instead holds her tight.
" I think we just like them." He says after a moment of silence.
" How so?" Lindsay looks up to see him looking faraway.
" We each has our bad time, sometimes we don't even know that we would survive, but there are things that keep us going...things that make us survive..." A pause " When I lost my mother...It was very hard...I never thought that I'd be able to really live again..." Bobby paused for awhile" I didn't...for a very long time." Bobby stops, and looks at her fondly, releasing his hold, giving the space, now looking down at her.
" Now?" Lindsay ask softly, not daring to believe she actually asked that question, not quite sure she's ready with the answer. Bobby gently caresses her face, and answers her with the only thought going through his mind.
" With YOU in my life?" He answer in a whisper, and smiles a little at Lindsay's obvious nervousness.
" It's beautiful now." Lindsay looks up to find his loving gaze, a smile on his lips. Bobby continue after a short pause.
" you help me find those beauty, Linds...You help me really live again...You're my life..." He knows how true his words are, even in their short time together, she helps him fill that empty void in his heart eversince his mother pass away, she helps him to forgive himself for taking that life support off of his mother, and she's help him through a lot of things that he has to go through, the day to day struggle of being a young, still scratch from the bottom criminal defense attorney. And looking at her radiant smile, he finally has the courage to say one thing he'd been struggling to say lately, one thing he already realized.
" I love you." It seems like forever to Bobby before Lindsay answers...
" I love you too..."
*******
Few weeks after
" Do you have to go this early???" Lindsay looks up at him getting ready for work from her comfortable place on the bed, it's still 8 o'clock in the morning.
" Yes, I have to..." Bobby stops his actions and looks at Lindsay still laying on his bed, he's all dressed up for the important meeting he has today. He moves to the bed and kiss Lindsay soundly on the lips. " And don't you dare say otherwise..." He adds playfully.
" I hate Monday..." Lindsay groans and gets up, helping him with his tie. She has spent the whole weekend on his apartment, and now is time to go back to their routine. " What time will you be back?" She's free today, and wants to spend her times with him.
" Late...." Seeing the disapointment on Lindsay's face he continues. " I have an important meeting with a new client, she's one of the blue chips client...and not a criminal." Bobby finish knowing how much Lindsay hates criminals.
" I never ban you from defending criminals Bobby, I just want you to be careful and look after yourself...they are not everything..." She straighten his shirt.
" I know. " Lindsay looks up only to get a well needed kiss. " YOU...ARE...everything." Bobby adds wholeheartedly. Lindsay is about to give a playful answer, but stop short seeing the sincerity in his eyes, and voice the only thing going through her mind...
" Thank you...." rewarding him with a kiss, he's so deserve.
******
" Okay...so tell me...what happened?" Bec stands in front of Bobby's desks, both hands on her chest, sick of the not knowing. She has notice the happy mood going on with Bobby the past few weeks, all the spontaneus smile, the dreamy looks, and she just want to know, NOW.
" What? What are you talking about?"
" Bobby...please....we don't have to do twenty questions here...just come right out about it....or you want me to drill it out of you..."
" What I...." Bobby can't lie to the woman that he has considered his bestfriend, truth to be told, he has been dying to tell her everything, ask for some suggestion maybe, on what to do, everybody knows he is completely clueless as to how to treat the woman he loves, since he never have the experience.
" I met someone...." He says just above a whispher.
" Come again?" Bec takes a seat on the couch, looking at him, still having both her hands on her chest.
" I said...I met someone." He says again, louder this time, walking from his desk, to sit on the chair near the couch. Here comes the explanation, and he is not afraid, he wants to shout it to the world, he has met someone.
" Really? Someone I know? "
" I don't think so...."
" Okay...tell me about her..." Bec order again. " Come on Bobby we don't have forever, your appointment is in an hour." Bec gives him her imploring eyes.
" Her name is Lindsay....we meet few months ago... and she...She is just so....she's incredible, Bec, so amazing...she's just the greatest woman I know...I..." Bobby shakes his head, smiling, consumed by his feeling for her. " She makes me feels all the things I have never felt before and more....she makes me feel so alife....and she's just...so..." Bobby trails off not finding the right words to express the way he feels.
" You're in love...." Bec knowing him the way she does, stating the obvious truth.
" Yeah...i am...." Bec is taken aback, expecting some denial not really ready with the truthful answer.
" Have you told her???" She asks after a short silence.
" Yes....i have....you never think that I'd be able to do that, huh?" Bobby teases a little finding the course of the conversation a little to serious.
" Yup, never thought you could..." Bec answers equally playfull, but she's serious with her next words " she must have been a very extraordinary woman to get you like that..." She knows Bobby well enough, he never let himself to feel love, to fall in love, and now....
" Yeah..she is..." Bobby smiles. " She is just so...." He struggle to find the right word.
" I know...." Bec saves him from having to try to find the yet unfound word. " Now, go get ready for your meeting." She pats his knee.
" Who made you boss, here??? huh???..." Bobby teases and gets up and goes back to his chair, while Bec starting to get out of the office, but before she close the door though, she turns around. " Bobby...."
" Yeah?" Bobby looks up from his work.
" Congratulation...I'm happy for you...." And she means it, Bobby has every right to feel happy and in love, despite what people think of him, he is a good man, a great man in fact. And if this woman can make him this happy, she knows she'll like her too. She just wish that he won't get hurt, he got too much heartache to last him a lifetime.
" Thank you..." A pause. " I'll introduce you to her soon...." Bobby answers and smiles. " You'll love her." he adds. He has been wanting to do that since the very first time he realized how infatuated he is by Lindsay, Bec has been his bestfriend, his sounding board.
" I bet....now work!" Bec points to the pile of files on his desk, and gets out.
*******
Lindsay walks in the apartment she, now, is so accustomed with, and makes her way to the kitchen, efficiently preparing the food for their dinner, humming a tone from her favourite song.
" Hei..." Bobby's voice surprised her. He leans in the doorway, both hands over his chest, looking lost.
" God, you scared me Bobby...I didn't know you already home." Lindsay walks up to him and kiss him hello. Noticing his detached stage.
" What's wrong? " She asks stroking his cheek lovingly. Bobby was silence for a while before answering her.
" I met a woman today..." Bobby answers, but not really looking at her, his eyes looking faraway
" Yeah? Tell me about it..." Judging from his defeated, troubled expression, Lindsay guesses its probably one of those client that makes him questioning all about his profession, those times that he feels insecure and unsure, asking again about humanity, and justice. It's a job that can cause a lot of heartache, a lot of soulsearching, that will expose him to so many injustice and cruelty of the world, and she wants to help him go through all of that. She knows how closed off Bobby can be, and so thankful that he finally able to open up to her, that he can share all things happening to him, even his past with her so easily, and how she can also do the same with him.
" It's a woman asking me to help her on her divorce."
" And?" By now, Lindsay is holding both of his hand, looking into his eyes, but he seems to refuse looking back at her.
" Her name is Suzanne Dole..." They both went silent before Bobby finally looks at her, seeing Lindsay's frozen hearing the name.
Bobby's look gives her all the answer that he knows everything already.
" Who are you, Lindsay...and What do you want?"
Bobby asks her emphasizing each words, tears welled in his eyes. He frees himself from Lindsay, needing some space.
" Bobby...I..." Lindsay starts to explain but the look on Bobby's face stops her short. He looks so deeply hurt.
" I don't...I don't know you at all...all this time and you were..." Bobby can't finish his words, realizing that all the beautiful times they have shared all this time has been based on lies, her lies, she's been lying to him all this time.
" Bobby...please..."
" What do you want Lindsay...What..." Bobby broke off again, feeling his heart shattered.
" Bobby...." Lindsay tries to calm him, reaching for him. Trying to help him, she hates seeing him hurting.
But his feling of being betrayed got the better of him, and he lost control.
" No, you listen...All this time you were lying to me, all those...you...I can't believe...God...all this time..." He moves away, not even want to look into that face, those eyes, the person he cherises with all his heart, the one he's been wanting to spend the rest of his life with. He feels like a fool, she's kidding him, playing with him. He still feels how his heart stop short looking at her pictures on that big Victorian house today. Right up from her younger years until her most recent one, filling every corner of that house. Finally know what she's been hiding all this time, finally realize that she's been lying to him.
Lindsay's mom has told him everything, in her 'proud mother' way, and how she's been so worried about his precious only daughter. Lindsay being their family little princes, everybody ready to gives her all that she wants, and how the family problem really get to her, making her turn from the sweet, caring, innocent, obedient Lindsay, into a troubled, ignorant, always breaking the rule Lindsay.
She told him how Lindsay has spent most of her time on her friends' house, Bobby thinks bitterly on that....her friends....she spent all those time, with him....every weekend the past few months, and almost every chance they got. How can he be that stupid...Lindsay...looking at her now, he can see her actually being 16, he thought it was all those make up-less thing, how stupid...He has been blind, so gullible, but he won't be anymore, he won't let her play him like a fool...
She has played with him, lying to him, telling him all those stories of her being a staff in one of company in town, which now he knows, belong to her mother. Telling him of her being 21, drop out of college, because of money problems...how he now, laugh at that idea, knowing how wealthy her family is, of her parents splitting up...okay so that one is true...but he doesn't know...which are the truths and which are her lies...
He can understand now, why each time he even mention the idea of her meeting some of his friends or relatives, or him wanting to meet hers scares the hell out of her. They will see what he has been so blind of. He remembers the time when he wanted her to go along with him meeting his dad, she said it was too soon, and he believed her. He didn't want to press further, afraid in doing so, he would push her away, now, he knows better...and how that hurts...that she has been lying to him...betraying their trust....trust...he thinks bitterly on that one...they never had that....
Lindsay knew someday this time would come, he will find out the truth, 'the truth will come out in the end' and how she knows it could really be 'the end', she just doesn't really prepare for this, hell she won't be prepared for this, she knew lying to him from the start will backfired at her,he would be hurt, she would be hurt.
But not lying to him was not and will never be her choice, cos that will just kill even the slightest chance of them together, her age alone will deter him, that one she's sure off, Bobby will just think of her as a kid, a 16 years old girl, not mature enough to face the world, to be in love, to feel love, and to share it with him, to accompany him through this life, but all that she's been through, she knows more than her age, all her experience makes her maturer, giving her the privilege and ability to see life as if she were older, she knows what she's feeling.
And if Bobby can face the age problem, there would be her social status, along with it all of her families and their relatives and friends, the fact that her family is just one of the richest, most respected family in Boston, the world that Bobby never like, never want to be a part of, all his stories show that, she knows if Bobby had known about her from the beginning, there would be no 'them'. But looking at his dejected postures now, with the pain clearly showing on his face, his demeanor, she knows how much she has hurt him.
Bobby respects honesty, and truth, and she's been lying to him all this time. But she never lies to him about her love, and she's gonna make him see, she's gonna convince him, and hopefully he will believe her, cos that's the only thing she knows will make all this heartache and pain go away, and will get them through all the barriers she knows are on their way. If they're gonna make it, she just have to let him see. The truth....She walks up to him, taking his hand, that just hang lifelesly beside him.
" I love you...." She says that slowly...above a whisper. " I love you, Bobby..." She says it stronger this time.
Bobby shakes his head, though he can hear sincerity, and plea there in those three words that always sent him flying when those are said by the woman now saying it, with her hands holding his tight. He can't look at her knowing when and if he does he will just give in into those eyes pleading for him to believe her. He knows Lindsay believes that she loves him, but he knows better. It's not love, it's her need of security, of feeling not alone.
He knows how loosing a family can be, he has had his share when his mom passed away. She was the one holding the family together, and when she was gone, the family just starting to fall apart. He was so alone, so lost, and how he hate the world that time. How he never felt at home and so at ease with someone, until he met Lindsay.How his heart breaks at that thought...The thought that she doesn't love him when he feels so strongly for her, when he knows she's his world, when he wants to gives her his all.
" I love you...." He hears her say that again in her shaky whispher, and knows she's been crying. How he hates it when she cries.
" You don't know that..." Bobby shakes his head again, stopping Lindsay from denying his claim. " You're so young...You're..." He broke off.
Bobby tries to let her see what he finally see. This is not love for her, she can't be...in love...she's still to young to understand love, life, and she still has her whole future in front of her. A future he knows will be ruin if he's in there. Her mother has told him about that Harvard dream, how Lindsay always wants to go there, of her dreams for the society, her noble goal to give her best to everyone.
But There is this part of him, that wants him to believe that her love is true, that her love is real, but that same part, as much as it wants her to stay with him despite all her lies, can't let her, cos that will just end her dream. He would never able to give her the world she's always dream of, he's still scratching in the bottom, just starting his life, his dream, a life and dreams, that until few hours ago he wants to share with her.
But having her in his life as beautiful that is, can not happen cos that would just kill all her dreams for her future. That Harvard dreams....a young lawyer barely keeping his own office from eviction, will not able to provide her a Harvard education along with all the life her parents and families have to offer, a life she so deserve, a life she's been having all along.
And there's this other parts sick of all her lies, wanting to get out fast. A part that's always shown to the world. The part that's always afraid of love, that just been cast aside in the time with Lindsay. He let those part of him fade away, but now, knowing everything, his defenses come to a whole new level. His fear of being left by people he loves, how that's always true.
He doesn't want her to leave him, but deep in his heart he knows she would...so why prolong it....she has to leave...he has to push her away...she can't be with him more cos then he wouldn't know how to let her go...he doesn't even know how he can let her go now...let alone...
" You're so young...." Bobby repeats again.
Lindsay is sick of being regarded too young, she knows her feeling, and she hates the fact that not even Bobby believes in her, he doubts her, doubts that she even knows her own feeling.
" So?" She asks snidely, leting go of his hand, moving away from him, her defense up.
" So? Lindsay...I can't believe this." Bobby shakes his head, anger takes hold.
" What? You regret being with me? I may be young, but I know what I'm feeling, I'm sure of it, and I'm not afraid to admit it to you, I love you, and I want to be with you!" Lindsay tries to reach him again, looking at his harden compsure, knowing they won't resolve this with anger, but she just wants him to believe her, DAMN IT!
" You don't know what you're talking about!"
" What?"
" Linds...You're so young...You..."
" What? Inexperienced? That's not what you said lastnight."
Lindsay responds bitterly, she hates the situation that they are in now, they have been so happy, and she can not believe what has happened, the last couple of weeks have been filled with happiness and laughter, and now...She knows how she has hurt him, but she wishes he will believe her...but this Bobby is the Bobby she first met, the cold distance Bobby she always afraid of...
" You're not even taking it seriously."
" I am, taking it seriously...I know my feelings Bobby...now, do you?"
" Do I what?"
" Know what you're feeling?" Bobby caught off guard with that one.
" I don't know...It's not right....You realised i could get charged, or disbarred...you're..."
" So is that what you're afraid of? That you'll loose your member card "
" I'm not afraid...I love you...but it's not right...And I don't think that you really know what you're feeling right now, maybe it's just..." A pause.
" It's love for me Linds, It's real...but i don't think it is for you...you're too young to..."
" Oh please..." Lindsay cuts him off, sick of having him telling her of how young she is, sick of having him doubts about her, sick of having him not believeing in her, but Bobby's anger gets the better of him.
" What oh please....you lied to me...all those stories you shared...i don't even know which one is true...and ME what is me for you?....You know what i think? I think all of that are lies...you don't love me...you never did...all you care about is how to forget about your problems...how to runaway from it...or...or maybe how you can take revenge to your family...and why not...they know about this? they'll get ballistic...which is EXACTLY what you want..." Bobby stops taking a breath.
" I'm just your...OH HELL...I don't even know what I am to you..." He trailed off, stopping his rant, noticing the forlorn look of Lindsay now, standing just few feet in front of him.
" Is that really what you think of me?..." Lindsay not really registering all his word, voicing the question gnawing in her mind all this time. slowly. There is a full two minutes of silence before Bobby answers her.
" Truth?..." He looks at her, bracing himself to give her his truth.
" Yes..." He answer in his shaky whisper.
They stare at each other not uttering a word. Full of silence.
" Then I guess...there's nothing to talk about here..." She says to him bravely meeting his eyes, and breaks away before he can see how much he has hurt her.
Lindsay left the apartment without once looking back. She wipes the tears streaming down her face, not wanting to appear weak, while Bobby sit dejetectly on his sofa, looking like and feeling like he's lost his world.
end of part 1
What do you think????? Should I or shouldn't I continue this?????