Title : The Story Of Us
Author : Faith
Summary : Please read previous part... ;D
Disclaimer : How many times do I have to say 'they're not mine'?? Okay, one more time wouldn't hurt anyone...they are not mine...;[ Okay except John...hehe...he's totally mine, and I love him... but you can always borrow him if you want :D, I'm not that stingy...;]
Dedication : EVERYONE for THE LOVELY FEEDBACK and EVERYONE who has read this story....
Part 4
" Bobby, Mr. Miller is here with his lawyer." Lucy announces to her boss, standing inside of his office.
" Where?"
" Conference room." Lucy smiles at her boss, as he stands up and makes his way to the door, making Bobby wonder.
" Is there anything else, Lucy?" Bobby asks quizzically, stopping in front of her.
" The lawyer? She's young, beautiful, and sexy too..." Lucy answers in a whisper.
" Lucy!!!" Bobby admonishes her, and starts walking again.
" What?? It's true Bobby, I think you should date her. " Lucy nods her head to further emphasizes her point.
Bobby just gives her a glare in return, only to have Lucy stick out her tongue at him. Bobby only shakes his head at the teenager's antique, wondering again why he had hired the teenager in the first place.
Bobby enters the conference room, and is about to greet his guests when he recognizes the woman standing in front of him.
" Lindsay...."
******
It was simply, the strangest, most uncomfortable meeting both Bobby and Lindsay ever had. Trying to keep everything professional, mostly because of their clients sitting there, while dealing with so many different kinds of emotions inside. Lindsay had just figure out the meeting with Bobby right before she left for this office, been lujacked the case by one of her colleague. How she wants to strangle him right after the meeting.
While Bobby had no idea of the lawyer on this case, thankfully though, the case is not really that complicated. Both sides want to do things civilly, settling the case, and soon the meeting was over.
" Thank you so much, Mr. Donnell." Lindsay extends her hand.
" You're welcome." Bobby shakes her hand, feeling the familiar sensation in him, touching her again, feeling her so close, looking into those eyes, he can not believe that after years, she still able to gives him those feeling, even more.
Walking her out of the office, he just follows his heart this time.
******
" You met him again?" John almost screams from the other side of the phone, forcing Lindsay to move away the phone, smiling as she does so. True, meeting Bobby is quite an experience, she's glad she could share it with someone.
" You heard me John, yes...I met him again...today..."
Lindsay feels like the fate has played again with her this time, she runs into Bobby again. Her first love.
" So...."
" So...."
They talk simultaneously, before Lindsay breaks into a small laugh, picturing her brother now, he must be in one of those 'my sister's crazy she's killing me with curiosity -expression' she loves so much.
" Princess...please don't play games with me, as much as I love twenty question, I don't want to do that now..."
" Funny! But alright...nothing happened...." Lindsay smiles, sitting on the couch, flipping through the remotes, before settling for 'ER' on the television.
" What?"
" Well, we just had the meeting.." Lindsay replies despondently.
" Awkward..." John supplies knowingly, nodding his head despite the fact Lindsay won't be able to see.
" Very.... trust me, you don't want to know... and well...thank Goodness the clients are not that difficult we settled already...."
" And..."
" And what? That's all..."
" No Princess...there's something you don't tell me...you're doing that thing..."
" What thing?"
" The thing you do when you get nervous or hiding something from your cute big brother ...I can hear you from here...." John teases.
" What? I am not..." Lindsay denies hotly.
" Lindsay...."
" Okay..okay..." A sighs. " He asked me to go to dinner Friday...as in two days from now..."
" What????" John is surprised again.
" Well...he actually ask for tonight but.... I just thought it would be better if I settled for a day where I can prepare..."
Lindsay trails off. Meeting with Bobby again, after a very long time, giving her somewhat unsettling feeling. She had heard about him, reading about him as well, from the newspaper, having her lectures and friends mention his name once in a while, commenting his tactics and strategies.
Bobby has made quite a reputation. Being one of the top-notch criminal defense attorney, and together with the other member of the firm, has become one of the famous law firms in Boston. Donnell, Young, and Frutt, who from Boston law community hadn't heard that name. Winning cases after the other, and doing their controversial strategies, has made their name. Lindsay is brought back to the present by the sound of her brother calling her name.
" Lindsay..."
The protective brother is on the move again, he knows everything, and doesn't want his sister being torn ever again, knowing how painful that would be. He pretty much know, the feeling is still there, just buried after all this years, but still, it's there...
Knowing how many failed relationship, her sister had encountered, some of the reason, he's kind of certain because her still, burning flames for Bobby, though most part is her fear in commitment and relationship. Her insecurities, of being left by people she loves.
" I know, you're worried...but I just thought we would you know...talk...resolve some unsettled issues...It's just a friendly dinner..." Lindsay tries to reason, remembering Bobby's nervous invitation, smiling a little at the thought.
" What about you...I just..." John sighs with the worries he feels.
" I know you're worried about me, I know it took me a long time to forget what has happened, I know you don't want me to get hurt again, but I'm a big girl, John...I know how to take care of myself...I know what I'm doing..." Lindsay explains reassuringly.
" Lindsay...."
" John...I promise, I'll be okay...I can take care of myself..." A pause " I need to do this, I want to do this... I...I need this...." Lindsay trails off again.
" You're sure about this?" John still can't let go of his worries.
" Yes, and you can always kick his ass, if he does something wrong...I mean after taking that Karate class I'm sure..." Lindsay jokes, trying to ease her brother's concern.
She is really looking forward to this meeting, wanting the entire past problem to be solved.
" Poor OLD Bobby..." John teases, finally giving up, though still worried of his sister.
" We're not going there again, John!"
" I bet some white hair or wrinkles already there!"
" John if you don't stop teasing me I'll leave..."
" Okay...let's change the topics... hmmmmm..." John muses, " How's Helen?"
" Ha...Helen? Poor change of topic...You really want to know?" Lindsay smiles. Her brother and Helen are just like cat and dog, oil and water. They always fight with each other, playfully... she loves the times when they all together...misses those times so much...
" She's out on her date by the way..."
" No...actually, not really, but you're gonna hung up the phone if I ask one more thing about Mr. D"
John says teasingly, referring to how they used to call Bobby in the past.
" You bet I will!!"
" Okay...so How's Mr. B"
" Who???"
" Mr. Bobby, Princess..." John explains calmly.
Lindsay slams the phone down, laughing as she does, hating but at the same times loving her brother so dry sense of humor. She counts the seconds, and on her fifth counts the phone rings again...
" No more talking about Mr. B, John...." Lindsay smiles through the phone...
" Okay.... fine.... you win!"
" Don't I always...so tell me about Tanya..." Lindsay smiles, remembering her brother's crush, that beautiful Russian doctor he's infatuated by.
" Oh please...Tanya again?"
" Yup...Tanya again...so.... any progress there?" Lindsay asks, smiling wider.
" You're still not giving up on trying to be our matchmaker, aren't you?" John asks despondently.
" Yes, I am still not giving up on trying to be your matchmaker. You guys make a cute couple." She answers firmly, nodding her head indulgently.
" Tanya and I do not and will never make a cute couple." John denies, not really strongly, making Lindsay smiles even more.
" Yeah... yeah... keep telling yourself that...I know how much you like her though. Just wait till I get there the next time, you'll have her in no time..." Lindsay makes herself comfortable, putting her foot on the table in front of her, a bowl of popcorn on her lap, coffee on the table, preparing for a long Wednesday routine chat with her brother.
They chat away about everything and anything, laughing over some funny stories...before saying goodnight, resting, to face another day.
********
" Bec...hi..."
Bobby looks up from the paper he seems to be reading, though the truth, his mind is so far away, when Bec knocks the door, and coming in to his office, that night.
" Hei...Lucy told me..." Bec goes straight to the point. No point in going around the bush, now. She's wanted to talk to Bobby after Lucy told her about, in Lucy's words ' the cute babe' she thought Bobby should date. Bec has been on the court all day, with Jimmy on their case, so she missed the meeting with Lindsay.
" So...it's really 'the Lindsay Dole'...." Bec half asking half stating.
" Yup...It's her...Lindsay Dole..." Bobby puts down the paper, looking into his best friend's eyes.
" I can't believe after so many years...." Bobby trails off, shaking his head.
" She's living in the same town, Bobby, doing the same profession ...you just can meet her everywhere..." Bec points out for him.
" Yeah...but we didn't...never...not until today..." Bobby offers lamely.
He has heard about Lindsay for numerous times. She had made her own name. One of the most respected young attorneys In Boston, graduated from Harvard with honors, getting a job at a prestigious law firm, and soon makes her way to the top. Focusing more on civil law, she had won so many cases. The first victory and probably one of the most famous is that Tobacco case. A case that not only won her millions in the amount of money, but also captured the attention of the whole Boston Law Community and also the press. Gaining her their respect, attention, and admiration. Yes, she has made her name.
" So...what's next?" Bec asks casually, noticing how Bobby looks at anywhere but her, seeming to be uneasy. He must be hiding something.
" We're having dinner this Friday...." Bobby answer softly after a while, prepared for what's sure to be a shock response after.
" What???"
" Bec... it's only dinner...I just want to know her...I mean catching up some stuff..." Bobby offers, but Bec knows better.
" Bobby...are you thinking..."
Bec looks at Bobby with her imploring eyes, she knows how hooked up Bobby is, still, by this woman, she had seen him going through countless terrible dates, most set up by their friends. She had seen him trying to get past her only to have it fails. In all these years, no one has come even close to make Bobby have a crush on, let alone fall in love. No one. So, finally, he puts all his energy on work and his career, never really thought of his personal life.
Bobby knows lying to Bec would be useless. She knows and reads him so well. His first instinct when meeting Lindsay today was to be with her again. All those feelings he had been trying to bury, all the emotions... all come out to the surface. He had forgiven Lindsay a long time ago, has since trying to move up, trying to be a better man, so that one day, he would feel that he deserve to feel happiness, to finally able to have the courage of fighting for his love.
The first time he heard about Lindsay's achievement, he had been so proud, realizing that he had made the right choice for her that time, when he let her go. Now, she can do all the things she wants to do. She can achieve her dreams of going to Harvard, helping people in need, do all her noble goal.
He couldn't count how many times he had wanted to meet her, to see her, to again, feeling those amazing things when being with her. But each time, he just step back, too afraid to get hurt. Afraid that it would just open an old wound hasn't healed completely.
Trying to forget her, only to have it failed, giving up finally, knowing it was useless to try. So, he loves her from afar. Afraid that if he had come too close, he wouldn't be able to stay away, and he needed to stay away.
But meeting her today, he just wants her to be in his arms again, having again all those feeling she brought for him when they were together, so happy, so carefree, so at ease, so... beautiful... he's just afraid that this time, she doesn't want him anymore...
" After so many years, and she still have the same effect on me...even more...." He shakes his head, smiling a little " I've never felt like this... I tried to forget her...but..." Bobby looks at Bec, trying to make her understand, trying to convey his feeling.
" You still love her..." Bec states knowingly.
" Yes...." Bobby answer with conviction, his voice falters a bit, with the fear that Lindsay won't be feeling the same anymore..." And even if I don't I'll fall for her again, in an instance..."
" But you do..."
" Yes, I do..." A pause. " I want her back..." He says again.
" Bobby are you sure?" Bec sees into her friend's eyes, seeing nothing but determination there.
" I've never been more sure in my life....I want her Bec, more than I have ever wanted any other thing in my life, she's the only one I can envisioned my future with, the only one making me whole and complete...making me at home... " Bobby looks at Bec, a smile playing on his lips as he recalls those beautiful moments that have filling his heart. " I love her...." He voices the only things he knows for sure, the only thing he never doubts of.
" Good luck!!!!" Bec smiles, and continues as an afterthought." She's a great woman."
" She is...." Bobby does a double take. " Have you...have you...met her, Bec?" He asks out of the blue.
" Hmmmmm...well..." Bec is a bit undetermined whether she should tell him or not. " Well... Yes...few days after you told me...I...I came to see her." She's watching Bobby's face. Looking for some sign of what his reaction is, but he remains expressionless. " I'm sorry, Bobby...." Bec says after a while.
" For what?" Bobby looks at her surprised.
" For not telling you...or..."
" You have every right to meet her and know her.... It's okay, Bec...." Bobby smiles, easing the uncomfortable feeling away.
" Okay...well... I'm leaving now.... you're not coming home?"
" I think I'll stay here for a while..." Bobby smiles and sees Bec walking to the office door...
" Bec..." She turns around. " Thank you...."
" You're welcome." They smile understandingly at each other, a smile from years of friendship.
Bec leaves the office; leaving Bobby with his own thought, still thinking about the most expected dinner he's ever had.
*******
" YOU WHAT?!?!?!" Helen is screaming, literally, jumping up from the couch, pacing around their living room, so agitated.
" You're having dinner with Bobby Donnell? The Bobby Donnell? I mean that jerk freeing all the guilty guys off???" Helen knows she's been so harsh about her comments, but after loosing yet another case to this so-called Bobby Donnell, she feels like she's entitled to call him by any name. " How did it happen???"
" Helen!!!!" Lindsay admonishes her best friend and roommate. " Please sit down...you're making me dizzy..."
" I can't believe this!" Helen turns away suddenly, walking towards Lindsay, pointing angrily.
" Answer me Dole, Are you dating this guy...this..." Helen is trying to hold back her next word.
" Jerk!!!!!" And fails, as the word comes out even harsher.
" When did this happened, what have you been hiding from me?????" Helen begins pacing furiously again.
" I'm not dating him, it's just a dinner... a friendly dinner after we settled the case...that's all!!!" Lindsay looks away from Helen's eyes, knowing she would know if she's hiding something instantly. Personally she never know why she never told Helen about their past. They have been friend ever since they started college years ago, have since sharing everything together, loving each other like sisters. She told Helen everything, right up until the most embarrassing moments she had, but somehow she never had the courage to tell her about this, though she's dying to say it.
" Not DATING!!!" Helen is still furious, not really noticing Lindsay's action. " NOT DATING, yes right it's a friendly dinner...it's just celebration after the case.... next thing I know it would turn into another dinner and then another and ..BOOM...you guys would...oh hell...I don't even want to think about that now." Lindsay smiles through Helen's overreacted ranting.
" I mean it's not that I'm not happy you're dating again, I mean after Chris you deserve..." She notices Lindsay's discomfort hearing the name, and stops. " I'm Sorry, Linds..." Helen says softer and goes to sit beside Lindsay, holding her hand, offering her comfort.
" It's okay..." Lindsay smiles at Helen, knowing she didn't mean any harm when she mentions the name.
" But Bobby Donnell????? Lindsay... you're my best friend...." Helen whines...looking at her...
" So???" Lindsay is a bit confused.
" I know he's kind of cute and all but..." A pause as Helen sighs heavily, and look at Lindsay.
" Do You know what HE did today??? He cross my witness, and DAMN he ruin my whole case.... and that guy is SO GUILTY I could just nail him in, if only that stupid witness didn't fall for Bobby Donnell's baby blues... that JERK..." Helen is back into her angry mood.
" So...I take it...you lost..." Lindsay knows how Helen hates loses.
" YES...and you're DATING HIM." Helen turns back to Lindsay. " Lindsay... you can do so much better than him, I heard so many bad things about him in the courthouse..."
Helen has heard some rumors going on in the courthouse about this Bobby Donnell, though knowing most of them are probably not true, but still, she's worried for her friends. Lindsay has had too many heartache and pain, she just doesn't want her to be hurt again, especially by this ...jerk...
" Helen..." Lindsay sighs. " You know those gossips are not true...remember when they make rumors about me going out with Judge Ripley?"
Helen looks at Lindsay.
" I'm just worried about you, that's all..." A pause. " And I like Judge Ripley more...he's gorgeous... and he did like you..." Lindsay smiles.
" Helen... I'm not dating him...so stop worrying..." She stands up, looking through the window; it's a perfect opportunity to tell Helen, everything.
" I just need to do this...."
" You NEED to have dinner with Bobby Donnell..." Helen supplies. " Why?" She asks sarcastically.
Lindsay ignores Helen's tone, and decides to tell her everything.
" We...we had a history...a past... and I want to have this dinner with him...to solve that problem, so I could move on..."
Lindsay means every word that she said. All this years, behind her mask of being okay, and happy...there's always that sadness in her heart, heartache, hasn't been healed completely...the pain of being left and given up, rejected, the pain of hurting someone she so deeply love, and hasn't been forgiven.... And she wants those to go away...
" What are you talking about?" Helen's somewhat confused. " You're saying...are you saying you've dated him before? When? I know all your boyfriends...."
" It was way before...before we met..."
" But we met in college that means..." Helen does a mental calculation; only to have it fails, as she can't come up with a great conclusion. She looks up at Lindsay with a confuse gaze...
" I was sixteen when we dated...."
" WHAT?????" Helen's eyes got big by surprise. " But he's like... he's like...."
" 10 years older than me, I know...he didn't know Helen... I told him I was 21..."
" Well, he's stupid... that's for sure... I mean even now... without those make up... you will still look like 16 he..." Helen stops, when Lindsay glares at her. She just has to stay quiet, it's something important for Lindsay, that one she can tell, she's doing one of her nervous nail-biting thing.
" Sorry...Linds... please continue..."
" My life... that time... it was so... complicated... so hard... I just lost my grandmother... and remember when I told you about Teri?" Lindsay asks referring to the person she thought was her best friend.
" Yes...that bitch!!!" Helen hates Teri, having met her couple of times, knowing how she had hurt Lindsay with all her actions, even until now.
" I just had my first fight with her... finding out what she really thinks... and her relationship with David..." Lindsay's eyes flicker with pain, still remembering those feeling of betrayal she felt. " I lost two best friends, the friends that I always thought would always be there for me... at the same time... and then on top of that...out of nowhere... my parents told me they wanted to get a divorce... I felt so alone...and so...I don't know...It was a very hard time..." Lindsay smiles bitterly remembering the time she had been so lost...
" And then I met Bobby..." Helen sees the soften of her eyes when she mentions his name, never seen that before, knowing it's a real thing.
" We met on this beautiful park..." Her mind goes back to a time long ago.
~ *** ~
" You come from somewhere around here? cos I've been here for a while and I've never seen you before..." Lindsay asks the young man sitting beside her on the bench, seemingly deep in thought, just trying to make small conversation.
" It's my first time here...in this park after a very long time..." Bobby looks at the woman smiling at him, with that beautiful smile, looking at him with a little tilt of her head into the side, so ...elegant.
" Yeah?" The woman asks again.
" Yeah...my mom used to bring me here when I was a kid..." Bobby answer, and not even knowing why, has told her something he had never told people before, so easily. " She passed away... about ten years ago...cancer..."
" Oh I'm sorry about your Mom, and I didn't mean ..." Lindsay makes the apology, feeling bad for having asked the question.
" Forget about it..." Bobby replies and smiles.
" I just..."
" It's okay..."
Bobby smiles and takes her hands, squeezing it, assuring her, looking through her eyes. Lindsay is surprised with the actions, yet, she's not moving or pulling her hand away, just looking into his eyes, seeing sincerity there, he's not mad, and he does seem nice. She smiles back, relaxed.
Bobby realized what he's been doing, holding a woman's hand he barely knows, he let go of her, though feeling sorry, but he has to, saying 'I'm sorry' to which she replies with a smile and a nod of 'it's okay'.
" I'm Lindsay, by the way...Lindsay Dole..." Lindsay extends her hands, liking the man instantly.
" Bobby Donnell." Bobby takes her hand, shakes it a little too long, before both breaks into laughter of how strange they have been acting.
" So, you live around here?" Bobby asks after a while.
" No...I just visit here once in a while...I love this park...so beautiful..."
" Yeah..." They smile at each other, enjoying the view.
" So..."
" Lindsay..."
They say simultaneously. Lindsay smiles, offering him to go first.
" What are you drawing?" Bobby motions to the sketchbook on her lap.
" Just some stuff...."
" May I..." Lindsay's hesitant for a moment before looking into his eyes, giving him her answer.
" Sure..."
~ *** ~
" You let him see your pictures?" Helen's a bit surprise. Lindsay's pretty much closed off about herself. Her pictures are parts of her she rarely share with people, because they show who she really is, her feeling, and her emotions.
" Yes..I did... I felt like I could trust him...and I always know I could...." Lindsay smiles, remembering all the good times. " So...we met almost everyday after... talking about everything and anything...and before we know it...we fell in love..." Lindsay smiles remembering all those lovely moments she still cherishes within her heart.
" What happened then?" Helen sees the love clearly on Lindsay's face, even now, wondering what has caused the separation.
" He found out the truth...he didn't take it well... and so... we went our separated ways..." Lindsay offers shortly, sadly.
" Lindsay..." Helen sees the sadness enveloping her friend instantly, her heart goes for her, and it must have been so hard for Lindsay.
" It was hard, Helen... but I finally able to be okay..."
" Really????" Helen knows better. All this time when she sees a hint of sadness in her eyes, her fear of love and relationship, how she tends to run from love... She never really understand why... and now, she had a glimpse of what's those reasons are...
Lindsay looks at her best friend's face that's full of concern, and knows she can't lie to her.
" Not really..." She whispers shakily. " I loved him, Helen, and I was ready to put all my future at risk, I was ready to give up all my dreams and to follow him, to be with him... but he didn't want me..." Lindsay trails off, feeling the familiar emotions, the heartache, the pain, buried inside of her, resurface again.
Helen not knowing what else to do, just holds her hands tighter, offering support.
" That's why I need this... I need to talk to him... after all this years... I want to be able to move on fully, to be okay...again..."
" But Lindsay..." Helen's worries reach out a whole new level, realizing the effect Bobby has on her friend. She just wants her to be happy.
" You're sure about this?"
Lindsay smiles, remembering her brother's exact same question; she's so lucky to have two person cares so deeply for her. And she answers the same.
" Yes...I'm sure."
" So...Bobby Donnell...huh???" Helen says after a while, smiling teasingly, wanting to lighten the mood.
" What???" Lindsay goes on alert; Helen is in one of her mood.
" I just never thought you'd fall for those blues, I always thought you love brown better...."
Helen adds.
" Helen..."
" But then again... he's kinda cute...and he does have a great body too..." Helen winks at her, smiling naughtily.
" Tell me something Linds...was he good???" Helen smiles wider, winking again at Lindsay. There's no mistaken as to what Helen is referring to.
" Helen!!!" Lindsay admonishes her throwing a pillow, blushing as she does so.
" He's good. " Helen says smugly and nods understandingly, making Lindsay blushes even more.
******
Bobby rides the elevators, bouncing his feet nervously, a single rose on his hand, marooned rose, one of Lindsay's favorite. The ding of the elevator brought him to her floor. He search down the hall for her apartment, and finds it, summoning up all his courage before ringing the bell.
" I'll get it!!!" Helen races to the front door, laughing when Lindsay, who's trying to compete with her, almost lost balance. " Linds... you shouldn't be running with those high heels..." Helen says trough her laughs, opening the door, still laughing.
" Hei...Bobby...What a surprise!" She greets cheekily.
" Helen? " Bobby is somewhat confused, has he gone to the wrong apartment, but Lindsay's figure comes to his view, and he smiles, taking in her beauty. Falling, all over again, for how many times, he doesn't know.
" Hei..." Lindsay greets him, smiling as she does so, thinking how he still has those effects on her after this many years, that blue eyes, the smile forming on his lips.
Helen looks between the two who just stand there, staring at each other. " Okay...forget I'm here..." Helen opens the door wider, motioning Bobby to get in.
" I'm sorry... I didn't know you guys are roommates..."
" Well, now you know..." Helen replies a little harsh, still a little ticked off over her lost, earning her a glare from Lindsay. Bobby chooses to ignore her comment.
" Linds... It's for you... " Bobby hands her the flower. Admiring her with his gaze. " You... you look amazing..." He smiles appreciatively.
" Thank You...." She blushes. Bobby shakes his head, they have to go now, and they won't be doing that if he continues looking at her like this.
" You're ready?"
" Yeah..." Lindsay takes her coat, having Bobby helping her to put it on. Smiling when they're done, to each other.
" Bye, Helen..." Lindsay smiles at her, waving a little.
" Bye, Babe...Take care..."
" Goodnight Helen..." Bobby nods politely.
" Yeah, good night." Helen waves to both of them.
" Lindsay..." Helen calls before Lindsay walks out, with Bobby by her side.
" Yes?" Lindsay turns around only to find her best friend holds her tight, too overwhelmed, she just holds her back, feeling the emotions on this hug.
" Just...just take care of yourself, okay...Good luck..." Helen whispers on her ear, making sure Bobby won't listen, and pulls back looks at her best friend with tears bringing in her eyes. Having heard all that happened, she understands how deep the love goes, and knowing all that Lindsay has been through all this years, she just wants the best for her. She doesn't want her to get hurt again, and if this Bobby Donnell ever hurt her...she knows she would be in the first line to give him some lesson....
Lindsay nodded, before turning to Bobby, and taking the arms extended to her.
******
" She always does that before your dates?"
Bobby asks curiously, referring to Helen's weird action, while sitting on the restaurant, breaking the silence. The whole car ride was done in silence. Both dealing with their emotions and feeling of being together again, so close, just the two of them after all this time.
" No... Not always..." Lindsay answers, smiling. " And it's not a date." She adds belatedly.
The waiter comes to take their order, saving her from further Bobby's question.
" Oh... yeah...right." Bobby replies, feeling a bit uncomfortable, is it just him or Lindsay is being a little hostile.
" It's a nice place." Lindsay says admiring the view their table has. Bobby has a great choice here. " So beautiful...." She smiles at Bobby.
" Yeah... " Bobby admiring yet another beautiful view, agrees completely.
Lindsay looks down, a bit embarrassed with the obvious admiration, while Bobby enjoying her expression. She hasn't changed all that much.
" I heard so much about you..." Bobby starts again after a while.
" Really??"
" Yeah... Law Review, Boston Herald.... you make quite a name..."
" Thanks, You too...."
" Not like you..."
" Sure, You're not..." Lindsay smiles smugly; earning her a fake glare in return, makes her laugh.
" And what is that suppose to mean?"
" Well, Helen's been a great source of so many stories about you..."
" Umff...This can't be good!"
Lindsay laughs over Bobby's fake miserable expression. Loving the relaxing feeling, though knowing that might not be there for long.
Bobby enjoys seeing her laugh, loving every seconds of being with her, that eyes, still the same eyes that always beckon him near, that beautiful face, who's smile he always looks forward to seeing.
Having been separated for years, and now, meeting her again, still with all the qualities that made her, the woman he loves, and even more, he knows, without a doubt, he wants her.
" You look even more beautiful now, Lindsay..." Bobby surprised himself he has said his feeling out loud, hadn't meant to be too blunt.
" Bobby...." Lindsay sighs and looks away. Feeling uncomfortable for she doesn't know why. She's been looking forward to this dinner, but yet, she feels the familiar feeling of fear. He had let her go once, makes her feel so alone and so in pain, she's so afraid she would feel that way again.
The waiter brings their order and they finish their meal in silence, talking occasionally about small stuff. Bobby noticing her discomfort decides that probably she's not ready. She still needs time. A lot to digest at once. Their meeting after years being apart, his taking her to dinner, making clear of his intention. She needs more times.
So he directs the conversation into small stuff, bringing joy and relaxation into it. Enjoying the feeling of being close to her again.
*******
" Why didn't you try to see me, Bobby?" Lindsay asks him suddenly, when they're walking through the park, they're so familiar with, making Bobby a bit taken aback with the question.
" I..." Bobby stops walking, looks deep into her eyes, he knows his reasons, why he had made those decisions.
" Please tell me the truth..." Lindsay looks up, pleading with her eyes. " Did you hate me?" Lindsay asks again after Bobby still not answering her for a while.
She has been through these for too many times, wondering why hadn't he comes for her. Still believing he hasn't forgiven her fully, or even worse, that he has forgotten all about her. And those thoughts hurt her when he still feels so strongly for him.
She has played and imagined so many different things of what his reasons are, trying to understand his actions for not fighting their love, for not trying to have her back. But every time, she always comes to different conclusions, different possibilities, and she just want to know the truth.
" No...no...Lindsay...I didn't and never hate you...never..." Bobby answer vehemently.
" But..."
" I forgave you....years ago...I understand everything that you did....I understand..." Bobby looks into her eyes the whole time he talks, holding both her hands in his.
" Then Why..."
Lindsay looks at him with curiosity. These whole years of not knowing, of questioning, of not even able o forgive herself for what she had done to him. Now, she had gotten the pass key to finally forgive herself completely, to finally free of all those guilt and pain... to finally be really okay again.... He has forgiven her... But still she wonders why... why hasn't he gone to see her...
" I was afraid... I was hurt...confuse... a lot of things happened... that... I needed time to think... to short things through... and I...I just thought you would be better off without me... that I would just stand in your way of being the person you always wanted... I could never give you what you want, Lindsay... that Harvard education, a decent living like..."
Lindsay listens to him, hearing the truth of what she had thought all this time, his reason behind all his actions. He thinks he wasn't good enough for her, he was afraid. She had known that, and she wants to make him see how wrong that thoughts are...
" I didn't need Harvard or any other thing as much as I need you..." She says in a whisper, looking deep into his eyes, hoping he would believe her, but looks away after telling him one thing she always wanted to say to him all this years.
Bobby hears the heartfelt admission, seeing nothing but sincerity and love in her eyes, watching her looks away, hiding the tears bringing in her eyes. How can he ever doubt her, doubt her love. All this years of being afraid, of being so stupidly alone, and those are useless, if only he knew, he would have come to her...
She looks into his eyes again. " I can't count how many times I wanted you to just come after me and..." A tear sliding down her face, she couldn't stop. " I wanted you to fight for us...I..." She looks down, but Bobby tilt her chin up...
" I'm sorry...." Bobby says while wiping her tears. Touching her forehead with his own, lost in the realm of being with her again, of touching her, having her so close. Knowing he had broken his determination of not pushing her too fast, but seeing those tears, noticing her sadness, he only wants to take them away. " I'm sorry..."
Lindsay sighs and pulls away. As much as she loves having him close, she wants him to know that she understand, that she knows his reason. And there are still a lot of things that they have to face. She had been through a lot of things, and she needs time before she's ready.
" No, Bobby... I understand... I really do..." Lindsay looks deeply into his eyes, holding his hands still cupping her face, entwine their fingers. " I understand..." She adds sincerely.
" Forgive me..." Bobby looks at her hopefully. Remembering all those things he had done to her, all the things he had said, all the hurt and pain he had caused... he wishes she would forgive him, and they could move on from there... see where that will go...
" Bobby.... there's nothing to forgive...I mean it was mostly my fault..." Lindsay stops when she sees Bobby shaking his head, she understand he needs the validation, just like she did, he needs her to forgive him for having let her go, and she has forgiven him, she finally has... and how wonderful the feeling is.
" I forgive you..." She strokes his cheek lovingly. Bobby takes her hands, kissing each one after the other, and nervously saying the things he's been dying to say.
" I really want to try for us, Lindsay... I want to fight this time... I don't care what will happen, what will stand in our way, I'll fight it... All this years I try to convince myself that I'll be okay, but I can't ... I can't be really okay... Not without you there by my side..."
" Me too..." Lindsay smiles through her tears, hearing him saying those words, the words she so longs to hear. Way more beautiful than what she had imagined. The words she had lost hope of ever hearing from him...
" Let's try again, Lindsay... let's try it right this time..." Bobby holds her hand even tighter, looking deep into her eyes.
" There's a lot of things happened to me Bobby, I...." Lindsay shakes her head. True, after their separation, she had been through stuff she's not sure she had healed from completely, and she wants to heal...
" I want to know that, I want to share everything with you...I want to face everything...our past...our future...together..."
" Bobby..." Lindsay is scared. It's too soon, too fast, she's not ready.
" I love you, Lindsay...I always has... let's try again... let's..."
" Bobby....please... " Lindsay pulls back a little. Too scared, everything is so fragile, they just met again few days back, they need more time, she needs more time.
" I'm sorry...I...." Bobby realized belatedly what he had been saying. He's too exited to have her there right within his reach, so he tries to convey the things in his heart, trying to let her see, what's been there all along, what always been there all this years, that he didn't think of her feelings as well. He has pushed her and now, he's afraid she would just run.
" I'll wait for you, Lindsay... as long as you need me too..." Bobby smiles, wiping the tears on Lindsay's face tenderly with his hands. " I will wait, okay? Until you're ready. You don't have to do anything. No need to rush..." Bobby looks at her lovingly, he would wait for eternity, if that what it'll take, he's sure of his feeling, even after all this years, years of being apart, and he only feels more in love...
Lindsay can't answer him as the words fail her she nods slightly. She knows she still love him, and knows too, by the look in his eyes, this time, it would be different, but she still needs time to be really ready, to finally able to give freely, there have been so many things happened to her, the pain, and heartache that needs to be healed...
" Now, let's go home...I don't want Helen spreading bad rumors about me if I don't get you back in time. " Bobby jokes trying to lighten the mood.
Lindsay laughs softly, wiping her tears. She looks up at Bobby and sees his sincerity, and love in the blue eyes, she never forgets. Too overwhelmed to speak, she reaches up, and kisses his cheek.
" Thank you, Bobby." She says when pulling back, finally finds her voice.
Bobby smiles, and holds her close, feeling his world complete, perfect finally. He knew there's still a long way before he finally really has her again, but he knows there's a chance there still. He sense a lot has happened in the years that they had separated in the hints of sadness he sees in those beautiful eyes he loves. But he's sure their love would last them through everything. Whatever it is, they'll get through it.
*******
Yay...finish guys, well...it's kinda lame, but whatever ....hehe...by now, I'm sure you know what to do, right??? FEEDBACK???? Let me know what you guys think...;D
Author : Faith
Summary : Please read previous part... ;D
Disclaimer : How many times do I have to say 'they're not mine'?? Okay, one more time wouldn't hurt anyone...they are not mine...;[ Okay except John...hehe...he's totally mine, and I love him... but you can always borrow him if you want :D, I'm not that stingy...;]
Dedication : EVERYONE for THE LOVELY FEEDBACK and EVERYONE who has read this story....
Part 4
" Bobby, Mr. Miller is here with his lawyer." Lucy announces to her boss, standing inside of his office.
" Where?"
" Conference room." Lucy smiles at her boss, as he stands up and makes his way to the door, making Bobby wonder.
" Is there anything else, Lucy?" Bobby asks quizzically, stopping in front of her.
" The lawyer? She's young, beautiful, and sexy too..." Lucy answers in a whisper.
" Lucy!!!" Bobby admonishes her, and starts walking again.
" What?? It's true Bobby, I think you should date her. " Lucy nods her head to further emphasizes her point.
Bobby just gives her a glare in return, only to have Lucy stick out her tongue at him. Bobby only shakes his head at the teenager's antique, wondering again why he had hired the teenager in the first place.
Bobby enters the conference room, and is about to greet his guests when he recognizes the woman standing in front of him.
" Lindsay...."
******
It was simply, the strangest, most uncomfortable meeting both Bobby and Lindsay ever had. Trying to keep everything professional, mostly because of their clients sitting there, while dealing with so many different kinds of emotions inside. Lindsay had just figure out the meeting with Bobby right before she left for this office, been lujacked the case by one of her colleague. How she wants to strangle him right after the meeting.
While Bobby had no idea of the lawyer on this case, thankfully though, the case is not really that complicated. Both sides want to do things civilly, settling the case, and soon the meeting was over.
" Thank you so much, Mr. Donnell." Lindsay extends her hand.
" You're welcome." Bobby shakes her hand, feeling the familiar sensation in him, touching her again, feeling her so close, looking into those eyes, he can not believe that after years, she still able to gives him those feeling, even more.
Walking her out of the office, he just follows his heart this time.
******
" You met him again?" John almost screams from the other side of the phone, forcing Lindsay to move away the phone, smiling as she does so. True, meeting Bobby is quite an experience, she's glad she could share it with someone.
" You heard me John, yes...I met him again...today..."
Lindsay feels like the fate has played again with her this time, she runs into Bobby again. Her first love.
" So...."
" So...."
They talk simultaneously, before Lindsay breaks into a small laugh, picturing her brother now, he must be in one of those 'my sister's crazy she's killing me with curiosity -expression' she loves so much.
" Princess...please don't play games with me, as much as I love twenty question, I don't want to do that now..."
" Funny! But alright...nothing happened...." Lindsay smiles, sitting on the couch, flipping through the remotes, before settling for 'ER' on the television.
" What?"
" Well, we just had the meeting.." Lindsay replies despondently.
" Awkward..." John supplies knowingly, nodding his head despite the fact Lindsay won't be able to see.
" Very.... trust me, you don't want to know... and well...thank Goodness the clients are not that difficult we settled already...."
" And..."
" And what? That's all..."
" No Princess...there's something you don't tell me...you're doing that thing..."
" What thing?"
" The thing you do when you get nervous or hiding something from your cute big brother ...I can hear you from here...." John teases.
" What? I am not..." Lindsay denies hotly.
" Lindsay...."
" Okay..okay..." A sighs. " He asked me to go to dinner Friday...as in two days from now..."
" What????" John is surprised again.
" Well...he actually ask for tonight but.... I just thought it would be better if I settled for a day where I can prepare..."
Lindsay trails off. Meeting with Bobby again, after a very long time, giving her somewhat unsettling feeling. She had heard about him, reading about him as well, from the newspaper, having her lectures and friends mention his name once in a while, commenting his tactics and strategies.
Bobby has made quite a reputation. Being one of the top-notch criminal defense attorney, and together with the other member of the firm, has become one of the famous law firms in Boston. Donnell, Young, and Frutt, who from Boston law community hadn't heard that name. Winning cases after the other, and doing their controversial strategies, has made their name. Lindsay is brought back to the present by the sound of her brother calling her name.
" Lindsay..."
The protective brother is on the move again, he knows everything, and doesn't want his sister being torn ever again, knowing how painful that would be. He pretty much know, the feeling is still there, just buried after all this years, but still, it's there...
Knowing how many failed relationship, her sister had encountered, some of the reason, he's kind of certain because her still, burning flames for Bobby, though most part is her fear in commitment and relationship. Her insecurities, of being left by people she loves.
" I know, you're worried...but I just thought we would you know...talk...resolve some unsettled issues...It's just a friendly dinner..." Lindsay tries to reason, remembering Bobby's nervous invitation, smiling a little at the thought.
" What about you...I just..." John sighs with the worries he feels.
" I know you're worried about me, I know it took me a long time to forget what has happened, I know you don't want me to get hurt again, but I'm a big girl, John...I know how to take care of myself...I know what I'm doing..." Lindsay explains reassuringly.
" Lindsay...."
" John...I promise, I'll be okay...I can take care of myself..." A pause " I need to do this, I want to do this... I...I need this...." Lindsay trails off again.
" You're sure about this?" John still can't let go of his worries.
" Yes, and you can always kick his ass, if he does something wrong...I mean after taking that Karate class I'm sure..." Lindsay jokes, trying to ease her brother's concern.
She is really looking forward to this meeting, wanting the entire past problem to be solved.
" Poor OLD Bobby..." John teases, finally giving up, though still worried of his sister.
" We're not going there again, John!"
" I bet some white hair or wrinkles already there!"
" John if you don't stop teasing me I'll leave..."
" Okay...let's change the topics... hmmmmm..." John muses, " How's Helen?"
" Ha...Helen? Poor change of topic...You really want to know?" Lindsay smiles. Her brother and Helen are just like cat and dog, oil and water. They always fight with each other, playfully... she loves the times when they all together...misses those times so much...
" She's out on her date by the way..."
" No...actually, not really, but you're gonna hung up the phone if I ask one more thing about Mr. D"
John says teasingly, referring to how they used to call Bobby in the past.
" You bet I will!!"
" Okay...so How's Mr. B"
" Who???"
" Mr. Bobby, Princess..." John explains calmly.
Lindsay slams the phone down, laughing as she does, hating but at the same times loving her brother so dry sense of humor. She counts the seconds, and on her fifth counts the phone rings again...
" No more talking about Mr. B, John...." Lindsay smiles through the phone...
" Okay.... fine.... you win!"
" Don't I always...so tell me about Tanya..." Lindsay smiles, remembering her brother's crush, that beautiful Russian doctor he's infatuated by.
" Oh please...Tanya again?"
" Yup...Tanya again...so.... any progress there?" Lindsay asks, smiling wider.
" You're still not giving up on trying to be our matchmaker, aren't you?" John asks despondently.
" Yes, I am still not giving up on trying to be your matchmaker. You guys make a cute couple." She answers firmly, nodding her head indulgently.
" Tanya and I do not and will never make a cute couple." John denies, not really strongly, making Lindsay smiles even more.
" Yeah... yeah... keep telling yourself that...I know how much you like her though. Just wait till I get there the next time, you'll have her in no time..." Lindsay makes herself comfortable, putting her foot on the table in front of her, a bowl of popcorn on her lap, coffee on the table, preparing for a long Wednesday routine chat with her brother.
They chat away about everything and anything, laughing over some funny stories...before saying goodnight, resting, to face another day.
********
" Bec...hi..."
Bobby looks up from the paper he seems to be reading, though the truth, his mind is so far away, when Bec knocks the door, and coming in to his office, that night.
" Hei...Lucy told me..." Bec goes straight to the point. No point in going around the bush, now. She's wanted to talk to Bobby after Lucy told her about, in Lucy's words ' the cute babe' she thought Bobby should date. Bec has been on the court all day, with Jimmy on their case, so she missed the meeting with Lindsay.
" So...it's really 'the Lindsay Dole'...." Bec half asking half stating.
" Yup...It's her...Lindsay Dole..." Bobby puts down the paper, looking into his best friend's eyes.
" I can't believe after so many years...." Bobby trails off, shaking his head.
" She's living in the same town, Bobby, doing the same profession ...you just can meet her everywhere..." Bec points out for him.
" Yeah...but we didn't...never...not until today..." Bobby offers lamely.
He has heard about Lindsay for numerous times. She had made her own name. One of the most respected young attorneys In Boston, graduated from Harvard with honors, getting a job at a prestigious law firm, and soon makes her way to the top. Focusing more on civil law, she had won so many cases. The first victory and probably one of the most famous is that Tobacco case. A case that not only won her millions in the amount of money, but also captured the attention of the whole Boston Law Community and also the press. Gaining her their respect, attention, and admiration. Yes, she has made her name.
" So...what's next?" Bec asks casually, noticing how Bobby looks at anywhere but her, seeming to be uneasy. He must be hiding something.
" We're having dinner this Friday...." Bobby answer softly after a while, prepared for what's sure to be a shock response after.
" What???"
" Bec... it's only dinner...I just want to know her...I mean catching up some stuff..." Bobby offers, but Bec knows better.
" Bobby...are you thinking..."
Bec looks at Bobby with her imploring eyes, she knows how hooked up Bobby is, still, by this woman, she had seen him going through countless terrible dates, most set up by their friends. She had seen him trying to get past her only to have it fails. In all these years, no one has come even close to make Bobby have a crush on, let alone fall in love. No one. So, finally, he puts all his energy on work and his career, never really thought of his personal life.
Bobby knows lying to Bec would be useless. She knows and reads him so well. His first instinct when meeting Lindsay today was to be with her again. All those feelings he had been trying to bury, all the emotions... all come out to the surface. He had forgiven Lindsay a long time ago, has since trying to move up, trying to be a better man, so that one day, he would feel that he deserve to feel happiness, to finally able to have the courage of fighting for his love.
The first time he heard about Lindsay's achievement, he had been so proud, realizing that he had made the right choice for her that time, when he let her go. Now, she can do all the things she wants to do. She can achieve her dreams of going to Harvard, helping people in need, do all her noble goal.
He couldn't count how many times he had wanted to meet her, to see her, to again, feeling those amazing things when being with her. But each time, he just step back, too afraid to get hurt. Afraid that it would just open an old wound hasn't healed completely.
Trying to forget her, only to have it failed, giving up finally, knowing it was useless to try. So, he loves her from afar. Afraid that if he had come too close, he wouldn't be able to stay away, and he needed to stay away.
But meeting her today, he just wants her to be in his arms again, having again all those feeling she brought for him when they were together, so happy, so carefree, so at ease, so... beautiful... he's just afraid that this time, she doesn't want him anymore...
" After so many years, and she still have the same effect on me...even more...." He shakes his head, smiling a little " I've never felt like this... I tried to forget her...but..." Bobby looks at Bec, trying to make her understand, trying to convey his feeling.
" You still love her..." Bec states knowingly.
" Yes...." Bobby answer with conviction, his voice falters a bit, with the fear that Lindsay won't be feeling the same anymore..." And even if I don't I'll fall for her again, in an instance..."
" But you do..."
" Yes, I do..." A pause. " I want her back..." He says again.
" Bobby are you sure?" Bec sees into her friend's eyes, seeing nothing but determination there.
" I've never been more sure in my life....I want her Bec, more than I have ever wanted any other thing in my life, she's the only one I can envisioned my future with, the only one making me whole and complete...making me at home... " Bobby looks at Bec, a smile playing on his lips as he recalls those beautiful moments that have filling his heart. " I love her...." He voices the only things he knows for sure, the only thing he never doubts of.
" Good luck!!!!" Bec smiles, and continues as an afterthought." She's a great woman."
" She is...." Bobby does a double take. " Have you...have you...met her, Bec?" He asks out of the blue.
" Hmmmmm...well..." Bec is a bit undetermined whether she should tell him or not. " Well... Yes...few days after you told me...I...I came to see her." She's watching Bobby's face. Looking for some sign of what his reaction is, but he remains expressionless. " I'm sorry, Bobby...." Bec says after a while.
" For what?" Bobby looks at her surprised.
" For not telling you...or..."
" You have every right to meet her and know her.... It's okay, Bec...." Bobby smiles, easing the uncomfortable feeling away.
" Okay...well... I'm leaving now.... you're not coming home?"
" I think I'll stay here for a while..." Bobby smiles and sees Bec walking to the office door...
" Bec..." She turns around. " Thank you...."
" You're welcome." They smile understandingly at each other, a smile from years of friendship.
Bec leaves the office; leaving Bobby with his own thought, still thinking about the most expected dinner he's ever had.
*******
" YOU WHAT?!?!?!" Helen is screaming, literally, jumping up from the couch, pacing around their living room, so agitated.
" You're having dinner with Bobby Donnell? The Bobby Donnell? I mean that jerk freeing all the guilty guys off???" Helen knows she's been so harsh about her comments, but after loosing yet another case to this so-called Bobby Donnell, she feels like she's entitled to call him by any name. " How did it happen???"
" Helen!!!!" Lindsay admonishes her best friend and roommate. " Please sit down...you're making me dizzy..."
" I can't believe this!" Helen turns away suddenly, walking towards Lindsay, pointing angrily.
" Answer me Dole, Are you dating this guy...this..." Helen is trying to hold back her next word.
" Jerk!!!!!" And fails, as the word comes out even harsher.
" When did this happened, what have you been hiding from me?????" Helen begins pacing furiously again.
" I'm not dating him, it's just a dinner... a friendly dinner after we settled the case...that's all!!!" Lindsay looks away from Helen's eyes, knowing she would know if she's hiding something instantly. Personally she never know why she never told Helen about their past. They have been friend ever since they started college years ago, have since sharing everything together, loving each other like sisters. She told Helen everything, right up until the most embarrassing moments she had, but somehow she never had the courage to tell her about this, though she's dying to say it.
" Not DATING!!!" Helen is still furious, not really noticing Lindsay's action. " NOT DATING, yes right it's a friendly dinner...it's just celebration after the case.... next thing I know it would turn into another dinner and then another and ..BOOM...you guys would...oh hell...I don't even want to think about that now." Lindsay smiles through Helen's overreacted ranting.
" I mean it's not that I'm not happy you're dating again, I mean after Chris you deserve..." She notices Lindsay's discomfort hearing the name, and stops. " I'm Sorry, Linds..." Helen says softer and goes to sit beside Lindsay, holding her hand, offering her comfort.
" It's okay..." Lindsay smiles at Helen, knowing she didn't mean any harm when she mentions the name.
" But Bobby Donnell????? Lindsay... you're my best friend...." Helen whines...looking at her...
" So???" Lindsay is a bit confused.
" I know he's kind of cute and all but..." A pause as Helen sighs heavily, and look at Lindsay.
" Do You know what HE did today??? He cross my witness, and DAMN he ruin my whole case.... and that guy is SO GUILTY I could just nail him in, if only that stupid witness didn't fall for Bobby Donnell's baby blues... that JERK..." Helen is back into her angry mood.
" So...I take it...you lost..." Lindsay knows how Helen hates loses.
" YES...and you're DATING HIM." Helen turns back to Lindsay. " Lindsay... you can do so much better than him, I heard so many bad things about him in the courthouse..."
Helen has heard some rumors going on in the courthouse about this Bobby Donnell, though knowing most of them are probably not true, but still, she's worried for her friends. Lindsay has had too many heartache and pain, she just doesn't want her to be hurt again, especially by this ...jerk...
" Helen..." Lindsay sighs. " You know those gossips are not true...remember when they make rumors about me going out with Judge Ripley?"
Helen looks at Lindsay.
" I'm just worried about you, that's all..." A pause. " And I like Judge Ripley more...he's gorgeous... and he did like you..." Lindsay smiles.
" Helen... I'm not dating him...so stop worrying..." She stands up, looking through the window; it's a perfect opportunity to tell Helen, everything.
" I just need to do this...."
" You NEED to have dinner with Bobby Donnell..." Helen supplies. " Why?" She asks sarcastically.
Lindsay ignores Helen's tone, and decides to tell her everything.
" We...we had a history...a past... and I want to have this dinner with him...to solve that problem, so I could move on..."
Lindsay means every word that she said. All this years, behind her mask of being okay, and happy...there's always that sadness in her heart, heartache, hasn't been healed completely...the pain of being left and given up, rejected, the pain of hurting someone she so deeply love, and hasn't been forgiven.... And she wants those to go away...
" What are you talking about?" Helen's somewhat confused. " You're saying...are you saying you've dated him before? When? I know all your boyfriends...."
" It was way before...before we met..."
" But we met in college that means..." Helen does a mental calculation; only to have it fails, as she can't come up with a great conclusion. She looks up at Lindsay with a confuse gaze...
" I was sixteen when we dated...."
" WHAT?????" Helen's eyes got big by surprise. " But he's like... he's like...."
" 10 years older than me, I know...he didn't know Helen... I told him I was 21..."
" Well, he's stupid... that's for sure... I mean even now... without those make up... you will still look like 16 he..." Helen stops, when Lindsay glares at her. She just has to stay quiet, it's something important for Lindsay, that one she can tell, she's doing one of her nervous nail-biting thing.
" Sorry...Linds... please continue..."
" My life... that time... it was so... complicated... so hard... I just lost my grandmother... and remember when I told you about Teri?" Lindsay asks referring to the person she thought was her best friend.
" Yes...that bitch!!!" Helen hates Teri, having met her couple of times, knowing how she had hurt Lindsay with all her actions, even until now.
" I just had my first fight with her... finding out what she really thinks... and her relationship with David..." Lindsay's eyes flicker with pain, still remembering those feeling of betrayal she felt. " I lost two best friends, the friends that I always thought would always be there for me... at the same time... and then on top of that...out of nowhere... my parents told me they wanted to get a divorce... I felt so alone...and so...I don't know...It was a very hard time..." Lindsay smiles bitterly remembering the time she had been so lost...
" And then I met Bobby..." Helen sees the soften of her eyes when she mentions his name, never seen that before, knowing it's a real thing.
" We met on this beautiful park..." Her mind goes back to a time long ago.
~ *** ~
" You come from somewhere around here? cos I've been here for a while and I've never seen you before..." Lindsay asks the young man sitting beside her on the bench, seemingly deep in thought, just trying to make small conversation.
" It's my first time here...in this park after a very long time..." Bobby looks at the woman smiling at him, with that beautiful smile, looking at him with a little tilt of her head into the side, so ...elegant.
" Yeah?" The woman asks again.
" Yeah...my mom used to bring me here when I was a kid..." Bobby answer, and not even knowing why, has told her something he had never told people before, so easily. " She passed away... about ten years ago...cancer..."
" Oh I'm sorry about your Mom, and I didn't mean ..." Lindsay makes the apology, feeling bad for having asked the question.
" Forget about it..." Bobby replies and smiles.
" I just..."
" It's okay..."
Bobby smiles and takes her hands, squeezing it, assuring her, looking through her eyes. Lindsay is surprised with the actions, yet, she's not moving or pulling her hand away, just looking into his eyes, seeing sincerity there, he's not mad, and he does seem nice. She smiles back, relaxed.
Bobby realized what he's been doing, holding a woman's hand he barely knows, he let go of her, though feeling sorry, but he has to, saying 'I'm sorry' to which she replies with a smile and a nod of 'it's okay'.
" I'm Lindsay, by the way...Lindsay Dole..." Lindsay extends her hands, liking the man instantly.
" Bobby Donnell." Bobby takes her hand, shakes it a little too long, before both breaks into laughter of how strange they have been acting.
" So, you live around here?" Bobby asks after a while.
" No...I just visit here once in a while...I love this park...so beautiful..."
" Yeah..." They smile at each other, enjoying the view.
" So..."
" Lindsay..."
They say simultaneously. Lindsay smiles, offering him to go first.
" What are you drawing?" Bobby motions to the sketchbook on her lap.
" Just some stuff...."
" May I..." Lindsay's hesitant for a moment before looking into his eyes, giving him her answer.
" Sure..."
~ *** ~
" You let him see your pictures?" Helen's a bit surprise. Lindsay's pretty much closed off about herself. Her pictures are parts of her she rarely share with people, because they show who she really is, her feeling, and her emotions.
" Yes..I did... I felt like I could trust him...and I always know I could...." Lindsay smiles, remembering all the good times. " So...we met almost everyday after... talking about everything and anything...and before we know it...we fell in love..." Lindsay smiles remembering all those lovely moments she still cherishes within her heart.
" What happened then?" Helen sees the love clearly on Lindsay's face, even now, wondering what has caused the separation.
" He found out the truth...he didn't take it well... and so... we went our separated ways..." Lindsay offers shortly, sadly.
" Lindsay..." Helen sees the sadness enveloping her friend instantly, her heart goes for her, and it must have been so hard for Lindsay.
" It was hard, Helen... but I finally able to be okay..."
" Really????" Helen knows better. All this time when she sees a hint of sadness in her eyes, her fear of love and relationship, how she tends to run from love... She never really understand why... and now, she had a glimpse of what's those reasons are...
Lindsay looks at her best friend's face that's full of concern, and knows she can't lie to her.
" Not really..." She whispers shakily. " I loved him, Helen, and I was ready to put all my future at risk, I was ready to give up all my dreams and to follow him, to be with him... but he didn't want me..." Lindsay trails off, feeling the familiar emotions, the heartache, the pain, buried inside of her, resurface again.
Helen not knowing what else to do, just holds her hands tighter, offering support.
" That's why I need this... I need to talk to him... after all this years... I want to be able to move on fully, to be okay...again..."
" But Lindsay..." Helen's worries reach out a whole new level, realizing the effect Bobby has on her friend. She just wants her to be happy.
" You're sure about this?"
Lindsay smiles, remembering her brother's exact same question; she's so lucky to have two person cares so deeply for her. And she answers the same.
" Yes...I'm sure."
" So...Bobby Donnell...huh???" Helen says after a while, smiling teasingly, wanting to lighten the mood.
" What???" Lindsay goes on alert; Helen is in one of her mood.
" I just never thought you'd fall for those blues, I always thought you love brown better...."
Helen adds.
" Helen..."
" But then again... he's kinda cute...and he does have a great body too..." Helen winks at her, smiling naughtily.
" Tell me something Linds...was he good???" Helen smiles wider, winking again at Lindsay. There's no mistaken as to what Helen is referring to.
" Helen!!!" Lindsay admonishes her throwing a pillow, blushing as she does so.
" He's good. " Helen says smugly and nods understandingly, making Lindsay blushes even more.
******
Bobby rides the elevators, bouncing his feet nervously, a single rose on his hand, marooned rose, one of Lindsay's favorite. The ding of the elevator brought him to her floor. He search down the hall for her apartment, and finds it, summoning up all his courage before ringing the bell.
" I'll get it!!!" Helen races to the front door, laughing when Lindsay, who's trying to compete with her, almost lost balance. " Linds... you shouldn't be running with those high heels..." Helen says trough her laughs, opening the door, still laughing.
" Hei...Bobby...What a surprise!" She greets cheekily.
" Helen? " Bobby is somewhat confused, has he gone to the wrong apartment, but Lindsay's figure comes to his view, and he smiles, taking in her beauty. Falling, all over again, for how many times, he doesn't know.
" Hei..." Lindsay greets him, smiling as she does so, thinking how he still has those effects on her after this many years, that blue eyes, the smile forming on his lips.
Helen looks between the two who just stand there, staring at each other. " Okay...forget I'm here..." Helen opens the door wider, motioning Bobby to get in.
" I'm sorry... I didn't know you guys are roommates..."
" Well, now you know..." Helen replies a little harsh, still a little ticked off over her lost, earning her a glare from Lindsay. Bobby chooses to ignore her comment.
" Linds... It's for you... " Bobby hands her the flower. Admiring her with his gaze. " You... you look amazing..." He smiles appreciatively.
" Thank You...." She blushes. Bobby shakes his head, they have to go now, and they won't be doing that if he continues looking at her like this.
" You're ready?"
" Yeah..." Lindsay takes her coat, having Bobby helping her to put it on. Smiling when they're done, to each other.
" Bye, Helen..." Lindsay smiles at her, waving a little.
" Bye, Babe...Take care..."
" Goodnight Helen..." Bobby nods politely.
" Yeah, good night." Helen waves to both of them.
" Lindsay..." Helen calls before Lindsay walks out, with Bobby by her side.
" Yes?" Lindsay turns around only to find her best friend holds her tight, too overwhelmed, she just holds her back, feeling the emotions on this hug.
" Just...just take care of yourself, okay...Good luck..." Helen whispers on her ear, making sure Bobby won't listen, and pulls back looks at her best friend with tears bringing in her eyes. Having heard all that happened, she understands how deep the love goes, and knowing all that Lindsay has been through all this years, she just wants the best for her. She doesn't want her to get hurt again, and if this Bobby Donnell ever hurt her...she knows she would be in the first line to give him some lesson....
Lindsay nodded, before turning to Bobby, and taking the arms extended to her.
******
" She always does that before your dates?"
Bobby asks curiously, referring to Helen's weird action, while sitting on the restaurant, breaking the silence. The whole car ride was done in silence. Both dealing with their emotions and feeling of being together again, so close, just the two of them after all this time.
" No... Not always..." Lindsay answers, smiling. " And it's not a date." She adds belatedly.
The waiter comes to take their order, saving her from further Bobby's question.
" Oh... yeah...right." Bobby replies, feeling a bit uncomfortable, is it just him or Lindsay is being a little hostile.
" It's a nice place." Lindsay says admiring the view their table has. Bobby has a great choice here. " So beautiful...." She smiles at Bobby.
" Yeah... " Bobby admiring yet another beautiful view, agrees completely.
Lindsay looks down, a bit embarrassed with the obvious admiration, while Bobby enjoying her expression. She hasn't changed all that much.
" I heard so much about you..." Bobby starts again after a while.
" Really??"
" Yeah... Law Review, Boston Herald.... you make quite a name..."
" Thanks, You too...."
" Not like you..."
" Sure, You're not..." Lindsay smiles smugly; earning her a fake glare in return, makes her laugh.
" And what is that suppose to mean?"
" Well, Helen's been a great source of so many stories about you..."
" Umff...This can't be good!"
Lindsay laughs over Bobby's fake miserable expression. Loving the relaxing feeling, though knowing that might not be there for long.
Bobby enjoys seeing her laugh, loving every seconds of being with her, that eyes, still the same eyes that always beckon him near, that beautiful face, who's smile he always looks forward to seeing.
Having been separated for years, and now, meeting her again, still with all the qualities that made her, the woman he loves, and even more, he knows, without a doubt, he wants her.
" You look even more beautiful now, Lindsay..." Bobby surprised himself he has said his feeling out loud, hadn't meant to be too blunt.
" Bobby...." Lindsay sighs and looks away. Feeling uncomfortable for she doesn't know why. She's been looking forward to this dinner, but yet, she feels the familiar feeling of fear. He had let her go once, makes her feel so alone and so in pain, she's so afraid she would feel that way again.
The waiter brings their order and they finish their meal in silence, talking occasionally about small stuff. Bobby noticing her discomfort decides that probably she's not ready. She still needs time. A lot to digest at once. Their meeting after years being apart, his taking her to dinner, making clear of his intention. She needs more times.
So he directs the conversation into small stuff, bringing joy and relaxation into it. Enjoying the feeling of being close to her again.
*******
" Why didn't you try to see me, Bobby?" Lindsay asks him suddenly, when they're walking through the park, they're so familiar with, making Bobby a bit taken aback with the question.
" I..." Bobby stops walking, looks deep into her eyes, he knows his reasons, why he had made those decisions.
" Please tell me the truth..." Lindsay looks up, pleading with her eyes. " Did you hate me?" Lindsay asks again after Bobby still not answering her for a while.
She has been through these for too many times, wondering why hadn't he comes for her. Still believing he hasn't forgiven her fully, or even worse, that he has forgotten all about her. And those thoughts hurt her when he still feels so strongly for him.
She has played and imagined so many different things of what his reasons are, trying to understand his actions for not fighting their love, for not trying to have her back. But every time, she always comes to different conclusions, different possibilities, and she just want to know the truth.
" No...no...Lindsay...I didn't and never hate you...never..." Bobby answer vehemently.
" But..."
" I forgave you....years ago...I understand everything that you did....I understand..." Bobby looks into her eyes the whole time he talks, holding both her hands in his.
" Then Why..."
Lindsay looks at him with curiosity. These whole years of not knowing, of questioning, of not even able o forgive herself for what she had done to him. Now, she had gotten the pass key to finally forgive herself completely, to finally free of all those guilt and pain... to finally be really okay again.... He has forgiven her... But still she wonders why... why hasn't he gone to see her...
" I was afraid... I was hurt...confuse... a lot of things happened... that... I needed time to think... to short things through... and I...I just thought you would be better off without me... that I would just stand in your way of being the person you always wanted... I could never give you what you want, Lindsay... that Harvard education, a decent living like..."
Lindsay listens to him, hearing the truth of what she had thought all this time, his reason behind all his actions. He thinks he wasn't good enough for her, he was afraid. She had known that, and she wants to make him see how wrong that thoughts are...
" I didn't need Harvard or any other thing as much as I need you..." She says in a whisper, looking deep into his eyes, hoping he would believe her, but looks away after telling him one thing she always wanted to say to him all this years.
Bobby hears the heartfelt admission, seeing nothing but sincerity and love in her eyes, watching her looks away, hiding the tears bringing in her eyes. How can he ever doubt her, doubt her love. All this years of being afraid, of being so stupidly alone, and those are useless, if only he knew, he would have come to her...
She looks into his eyes again. " I can't count how many times I wanted you to just come after me and..." A tear sliding down her face, she couldn't stop. " I wanted you to fight for us...I..." She looks down, but Bobby tilt her chin up...
" I'm sorry...." Bobby says while wiping her tears. Touching her forehead with his own, lost in the realm of being with her again, of touching her, having her so close. Knowing he had broken his determination of not pushing her too fast, but seeing those tears, noticing her sadness, he only wants to take them away. " I'm sorry..."
Lindsay sighs and pulls away. As much as she loves having him close, she wants him to know that she understand, that she knows his reason. And there are still a lot of things that they have to face. She had been through a lot of things, and she needs time before she's ready.
" No, Bobby... I understand... I really do..." Lindsay looks deeply into his eyes, holding his hands still cupping her face, entwine their fingers. " I understand..." She adds sincerely.
" Forgive me..." Bobby looks at her hopefully. Remembering all those things he had done to her, all the things he had said, all the hurt and pain he had caused... he wishes she would forgive him, and they could move on from there... see where that will go...
" Bobby.... there's nothing to forgive...I mean it was mostly my fault..." Lindsay stops when she sees Bobby shaking his head, she understand he needs the validation, just like she did, he needs her to forgive him for having let her go, and she has forgiven him, she finally has... and how wonderful the feeling is.
" I forgive you..." She strokes his cheek lovingly. Bobby takes her hands, kissing each one after the other, and nervously saying the things he's been dying to say.
" I really want to try for us, Lindsay... I want to fight this time... I don't care what will happen, what will stand in our way, I'll fight it... All this years I try to convince myself that I'll be okay, but I can't ... I can't be really okay... Not without you there by my side..."
" Me too..." Lindsay smiles through her tears, hearing him saying those words, the words she so longs to hear. Way more beautiful than what she had imagined. The words she had lost hope of ever hearing from him...
" Let's try again, Lindsay... let's try it right this time..." Bobby holds her hand even tighter, looking deep into her eyes.
" There's a lot of things happened to me Bobby, I...." Lindsay shakes her head. True, after their separation, she had been through stuff she's not sure she had healed from completely, and she wants to heal...
" I want to know that, I want to share everything with you...I want to face everything...our past...our future...together..."
" Bobby..." Lindsay is scared. It's too soon, too fast, she's not ready.
" I love you, Lindsay...I always has... let's try again... let's..."
" Bobby....please... " Lindsay pulls back a little. Too scared, everything is so fragile, they just met again few days back, they need more time, she needs more time.
" I'm sorry...I...." Bobby realized belatedly what he had been saying. He's too exited to have her there right within his reach, so he tries to convey the things in his heart, trying to let her see, what's been there all along, what always been there all this years, that he didn't think of her feelings as well. He has pushed her and now, he's afraid she would just run.
" I'll wait for you, Lindsay... as long as you need me too..." Bobby smiles, wiping the tears on Lindsay's face tenderly with his hands. " I will wait, okay? Until you're ready. You don't have to do anything. No need to rush..." Bobby looks at her lovingly, he would wait for eternity, if that what it'll take, he's sure of his feeling, even after all this years, years of being apart, and he only feels more in love...
Lindsay can't answer him as the words fail her she nods slightly. She knows she still love him, and knows too, by the look in his eyes, this time, it would be different, but she still needs time to be really ready, to finally able to give freely, there have been so many things happened to her, the pain, and heartache that needs to be healed...
" Now, let's go home...I don't want Helen spreading bad rumors about me if I don't get you back in time. " Bobby jokes trying to lighten the mood.
Lindsay laughs softly, wiping her tears. She looks up at Bobby and sees his sincerity, and love in the blue eyes, she never forgets. Too overwhelmed to speak, she reaches up, and kisses his cheek.
" Thank you, Bobby." She says when pulling back, finally finds her voice.
Bobby smiles, and holds her close, feeling his world complete, perfect finally. He knew there's still a long way before he finally really has her again, but he knows there's a chance there still. He sense a lot has happened in the years that they had separated in the hints of sadness he sees in those beautiful eyes he loves. But he's sure their love would last them through everything. Whatever it is, they'll get through it.
*******
Yay...finish guys, well...it's kinda lame, but whatever ....hehe...by now, I'm sure you know what to do, right??? FEEDBACK???? Let me know what you guys think...;D