Chapter 3 : Cassie

Disclaimer: K.A Applegate owns. Not me.

Author's Notes: Alright, I know Cassie isn't dead, and didn't die. But let's just say, when I mean 'final moments,' I mean the characters final moments in the book. The last time we see them in book #54. 'Cause, I really wouldn't want to leave out Cassie, and it allows me more characters as well.

Okay, no more chat. Straight into Cassie's head we go.

*

I'm Cassie.

What else can I say? What is there to say?

I've heard it all. I've seen it all.

And just want to forget.

I'm not Jake. I've never been able to make decisions. I mean, fix an eagle's leg, sure, but lead an army of mismatching animals into battle? No one but Jake...

And now…

My supposed betrayal has brought an entire galaxy to their knees.

I'm not Rachel. Though I know we're not far apart. I've never been without guilt in a battle. Even when I am wallowing in my own blood, I've found time to feel sympathy for the enemy.

You see, war was never supposed to be for me.

The Andalites are waiting and ready to destroy Earth with a single blast. No Quantum Virus, no battles. Just one explosion, one explosion, and a planet will mysteriously disappear with no trace, except for a couple of stray asteroids. Maybe not even that. The Yeerks had spread even further thanks to morphing technology, and the humans – us – we were trapped.

I gave the cube to Tom because I knew it would achieve something no battle could. You see, I'm not always confused about right and wrong in battle and bloodshed. I'm not always in the middle with my issues of morality and 'enemy rights.'

I have to fight too. I have to make decisions. And most of them have risks. Unknown risks. Most of the time, you can't see the outcomes – the consequences –until it's too late.

Rachel – gone. Tobias – lost.

And so many more.

So many more.

~

Jake, Marco and Tobias leave today. In search for an old friend. Ax. And I'm left here with the strange feeling that I've let them down. That I should be there. Even though I'm not.

Jake understood. He knew what I knew, though he said everything I would have never said. Of course, if he had asked, I would've left with him without hesitation. But I would know, deep down, that this is my life now. My new life. I, of all people, moved on.

If partially.

Sometimes I fear that this guilt will consume me. Sucking, like a black hole somewhere inside of me. Expanding. Sucking in everything I know, I believe. Taking away everything. All thoughts, all feelings.

And then, my feelings will seem worn thin. Like there's nothing left for me to feel. Dry of emotions. No tears. No pain. No sadness. No anger.

Just a hollow emptiness inside.

Just emptiness.

*

Hmm..

I'm pretty sure you know the drill by now, right? Well..

Read. Tick.

Review. Ti –

I'm still waiting…

Yeah, well. The next character was someone I never intended to do. But the idea struck me a couple of days ago. AND, it's going to be hard. But… Next: Jara Hamee