CHAPTER FOUR: GIRL TALK
Buffy walked into the lobby, tired and aching. It had been far too long since she'd slept properly and it was beginning to take its toll on her. The AI team all looked up as she entered the office that they had migrated to, searching through their books in search of references to the Svea Priestesses. Wesley smiled gently and put his book down.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
Buffy nodded. "Just tired."
"When was the last time you slept properly?" Wesley asked worriedly.
Buffy thought about the answer and laughed as she produced an exact date. "January nineteen 1998. Before my seventeenth birthday."
Wesley didn't quite know how to respond to that answer. "Perhaps you could use some rest," he suggested.
Buffy looked around to see what the others were doing. It didn't look as though they really needed her help, and it wasn't as though they hadn't survived the last three or so years without her help. She nodded thankfully, desperate to lie down and rest her eyes.
"If it's not too much trouble," Buffy said tiredly.
"Not at all. Fred, could you take Buffy up to Angel's room," Wesley said, looking at the brunette girl who had captured his heart. Fred glanced nervously at Gunn but nodded. Gunn glowered but didn't say anything about it. Wesley looked back at the Slayer. "Do you mind staying in Angel's room?"
"I mind!" Cordelia exclaimed.
Buffy sighed and rolled her eyes and kept her gaze on Wesley, trying to ignore the seer. "It doesn't matter. Unless you think I shouldn't. I don't want him upset with me."
"He wouldn't want her in there," Cordelia protested.
"It's only for a night," Connor argued, smirking slightly at the put upon look on Cordelia's face. Cordelia glared at the young man, but Connor didn't react. "I'm sure Angel wouldn't mind."
"It's fine, really," Wesley said.
Buffy nodded, too tired to continue the argument.
"Just wake me up if you need any help. Of if Angelus decides to try for a rampage," Buffy said.
"Of course," Wesley replied resolutely before turning his attention back to the ancient tome that he'd been working on translating earlier.
Buffy followed Fred out into the lobby and up the stairs towards Angel's room. Fred opened the door and let Buffy walk into he darkened room that Buffy could just feel was Angel's.
"He doesn't like a lot of light," Fred said quietly.
"Vamps are kinda funny that way," Buffy replied with a tired smile.
Fred laughed a little and regarded the Slayer with open curiosity.
"How did you know that Charles and I are together?" she asked.
"I know a lot more about this place than you'd think," Buffy replied cryptically. "Plus…the way he looks at you…he loves you, more than I think you know. I have the feeling that he's the type of guy who'd do just about anything for you."
Fred nodded, thinking back to the Professor that Gunn had killed so that Fred wouldn't have to live with the guilt of his blood on her hands. Now she just had to live with it on her boyfriends hands.
"He would," Fred replied.
Buffy automatically picked up on Fred's tone of voice. Buffy was good at reading people, and after working with so many adolescents through her counselling sessions, she knew that something was bothering Fred. Something big.
"Wanna tell me what he did that got you so upset?" Buffy asked gently.
Fred looked at her with wide-shocked eyes. "How did you-"
"He did something that you didn't like, didn't he?" Buffy asked. Fred nodded and sat down on Angel's bed. Buffy sat beside her, kicking her shoes to the ground and curling her legs under her body.
"He killed someone."
"Someone who hurt you really badly, I'm guessing," Buffy said.
Fred nodded. "They sent me to a hell dimension."
Buffy winced. She knew what that felt like. Not only from her brief stint in Ken's dimension when she'd run away after killing Angel, but from her entire previous year, thinking that her life was hell because of what she was missing…heaven.
"And you wanted to kill them," Buffy guessed.
Fred nodded, feeling ashamed for her actions. At the time, they'd felt so right, but thinking back, she felt guilt.
"I wanted to send him there. So he knew what I felt."
"That's a pretty natural reaction," Buffy said gently. "It's a pretty human reaction to want justice. Even to want revenge. You're not the first person who's wanted to do something like that."
"Charles killed him so that I wouldn't have to," Fred explained. "So that he wouldn't lose me…who I was."
"But you feel like you've lost yourself anyway," Buffy finished.
Fred sighed and nodded. She hadn't spoken about what had happened with the Professor with anyone, and it was good to finally have the chance to talk, even if it was with someone she barely knew. She guessed that sometimes you needed to have someone who wasn't so close hear what you had to say. There was less fear of their judgement.
"What does Gunn think about all this?" Buffy asked. "Have you spoken to him?"
Fred shook her head. "We've never spoken about it. Not since it happened."
"You might want to think about talking to him then. He seems just as lost as you do," Buffy said. "And if you guys don't deal with what happened…you're gonna lose him."
"Thanks," Fred said quietly. She stood up, feeling slightly better. It was nice to have her need for revenge somewhat condoned. Even though it had been wrong, it wasn't an unnatural reaction, and that was comforting.
Buffy nodded and slipped out of her jacket, folding the covers back. She turned to look at Fred before she could get out the door.
"Fred?"
Fred turned and looked at her new friend. "Yeah?"
"About Wesley…"
Fred's eyes went wide. "What about him?"
"I know it's not my place, but…don't do anything to jeopardise what you have with Gunn. I don't know anything about what's going on between you and Wes, but…if it doesn't stop soon, you'll end up hurting someone. And that's never fun."
Fred nodded and walked out the door, closing it behind her. She took a deep cleansing breath and walked down the stairs, her heart lighter than it had been earlier that day.
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Can ya tell that I hate Cordy? ;) Much thanks for your reviews! Definitely encouraging!
Toodles.