CHAPTER THIRTEEN: SOUL SEPARATION
(Please remember the note from Chapter One. Robin Wood is NOT the son of a Slayer. He's just the Principal and he DOES NOT know about vamps, demons or anything like that. You'll understand why soon…)
They parked the car in the shade and made their way into the hotel to find Wesley, Lorne and Fred all standing in the lobby talking excitedly. Cordelia was nowhere in sight, but the returning warriors didn't notice her absence as they were swept up into the enthusiasm of their celebration.
Hugs and handshakes and back-pats were exchanged, all with smiles and jumbled words of thanks and congratulations. After nearly ten minutes of their exuberance, the group finally settled, the warriors standing whilst the others sat on the circular lounge listening as Gunn, Connor, Angel and Buffy recounted their adventure, interrupting each other and adding things where they needed to be added.
Lorne, Fred and Wesley were swept up in their excitement, and had opened a bottle of wine to celebrate. After about an hour of their impromptu party, Wesley approached Angel and dragged him away from the others, the two former friends going into the office.
"What's up Wesley?" Angel asked, in too good a mood to be annoyed at his former friend.
"About Buffy…"
Angel held up a hand to stop the
lecture that he expected to get. "We're
being careful. And the shaman said it
was permanent, so you don't have to worry."
Wesley shook his head. "It's not about that. It's about Buffy and…well, Connor."
Angel froze. His imagination travelled to the worst of places, and he knew that he wouldn't have even thought something like that if it hadn't been for Cordelia sleeping with Connor the week before.
"What about them?"
"They have…a connection of some sort," Wesley said. "We found your soul by performing a spell that only soulmates can perform. You enchant a map and have one of the mates say an incantation, and the spell will show where the two souls are. We enchanted a map of the Hyperion, and…"
"And?" Angel prompted.
Wesley took out the floor plans of the Hyperion and grabbed a pencil. He marked the five points that Buffy's soul had settled over when Connor had still been upstairs.
"Her soul separated into five portions. One where she sat, one where your soul was upstairs, another with Angelus downstairs in the basement, another in Sunnydale, or so we assumed, and…the other was wherever Connor was. We tested it, and the spell followed Connor," Wesley explained.
Angel felt the need to sit down. "What are you saying?"
Wesley looked at Angel intently, and hoped that he wasn't wrong in his theory. "I think Connor has part of Buffy's soul within him."
"And the other pieces of her
soul."
"Well, it's just a theory, but I'm guessing that the section in Sunnydale is Dawn, and that the others were herself obviously, and the other was split between Angel and Angelus."
Angel sat heavily in the chair behind the desk, his thoughts racing. He'd never even considered that Buffy might have anything to do with Connor, but in a way, it made sense. When he'd first seen Connor, his first thoughts had been of Buffy, and how he wished that she'd been there to be the one to hold him.
"I'm not entirely certain, but…I think Buffy may be Connor's mother. Spiritually, rather than physically," Wesley explained.
"How? She and I…we were only together once…"
Wesley looked at Angel, his eyebrows raised. "Cordelia informed me of the day you took back," Wesley said gently.
Angel looked up, alarmed. He saw only sympathy and understanding in Wesley's eyes. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
"And I suppose with both of us being completely human, she could have conceived," Angel surmised. "If I'd never erased the day, she could've had a baby."
"No she couldn't," Wesley said softly.
"What?"
"Buffy's a Slayer…she can never have children. It's not possible."
Angel felt sick to the stomach. That had been one of the many reasons he'd left her, because he could never give her children. As it turned out, he might have been able to reproduce. To hear that Buffy couldn't become pregnant was like a slap to the face, and he ached for the pain that Buffy would feel if she knew that small fact about Slayers.
"Never?" Angel repeated.
Wesley shook his head. "Even if she were with a completely human man, she'd never be able to have children," Wesley explained. "And not just because the Council would kill her, but because her body is literally unable to bear them. Oh, she can conceive, don't get me wrong, but…she couldn't carry it to term. The point is…I really believe that Buffy is connected to Connor."
"He does seem to really like her," Angel commented, looking through the window to see Connor and Buffy talking animatedly. Connor was smiling as he explained something, and Buffy was laughing heartedly.
"I think…maybe having Darla as the vessel was the Powers way for you and Buffy to be able to have a child," Wesley said. "You and Buffy are destined to be together, it was prophesied. I would fathom a guess that if we looked over the true prophecies regarding Connor's birth, Buffy would be mentioned there. Perhaps it would explain how your son has a purely human soul. It's part of Buffy's."
Angel furrowed his brow together, trying to sort through what he'd just been told. He wanted desperately to believe that Wesley was right regarding who Connor's mother really was, but Wesley and prophecies hadn't meshed too well in the past.
"Here's a thought," Angel said, "if Buffy's soul split into five parts…what does that mean for Buffy? Is she wandering around with only a fifth of a soul?"
"A quarter actually," Wesley replied. "It was four equal parts, and then one of the portions split between your soul and Angelus."
"Angelus has an eighth of a soul?"
"In theory," Wesley answered. "And as for Buffy, as a warrior for the Powers That Be, her soul is one of the strongest in existence. You'd probably need to speak to her, but I'd wager that just after Connor was born, she struggled to find a balance between the light and the dark."
Angel looked up at Wesley sharply. I was kinda nuts last year. Depressed, moody, suicidal. Wesley's theory certainly had a lot of backing evidence. He stood and walked to the door.
"Buffy," he called.
Buffy looked up and touched Connor on the arm, apologising for leaving him mid-conversation. She walked to the office and Angel ushered her inside, pulling out a seat for Buffy. She sat down and cast a nervous glance between Wesley and Angel.
"Why do I suddenly feel like I'm back in high school in Principal Snyder's office?" she quipped lightly, trying to hide her nervousness.
"Last year, when did you start sleeping with Spike?" Angel asked bluntly.
Wesley coughed uncomfortably and looked at Buffy in complete shock. Buffy turned bright red and looked at her lover angrily. "Why?"
"It's important," he replied.
Buffy looked away from him and thought back to when things between she and Spike had gone drastically downhill. They'd had a tentative friendship that Buffy had come to rely on until they'd slept together, and after that everything had gone from bad to worse.
"Uh…November I guess," Buffy said.
Connor had been born in November. "November what?"
Buffy shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't exactly keep records."
"If you had to guess, would you say around November eleventh? That was a Monday," Angel said.
Buffy tried to think back. She knew that it had been a school night that she'd slept with Spike because she'd inadvertently left Dawn alone, except that Tara had volunteered to stay.
"Uh, I think it started on a Tuesday," Buffy said, wondering why it was so important. "So, the twelfth, maybe?"
Angel and Wesley shared a look that Buffy didn't miss.
"What? Why is that so important?" Buffy asked.
Wesley sat down in the seat beside Buffy and leant towards her.
"The day that your uh…relationship with Spike started, did you…were you feeling a little…off-balance? As though you couldn't focus your energies properly?" Wesley asked.
Buffy nodded. She could remember everything she'd been feeling that day because she'd been feeling so badly. That was the day that she'd found out that Spike could hit her. You came back wrong.
"Yeah. I was uh…really out of sorts that day. And then…with the Spike thing…and with his chip not working…"
"His chip doesn't work on you?" Angel asked.
Buffy shook her head. "He could hit me. Said I'd come back wrong. That I was missing part of myself." She felt tears well up in her eyes and she struggled to keep them at bay. She hadn't thought that about herself since everything had happened with Willow trying to destroy the world. She'd thought she was past the doubts that Spike had planted inside her already fragile mind.
"Buffy, we think that there may be a reason for what happened that day," Angel explained. "Why you were feeling so badly. It may even explain why Spike could hit you."
Buffy nodded and waited for Angel to continue.
"Buffy, Connor was born on the eleventh. The day before you and Spike started…" Angel trailed off, unable to even think about what had happened between his childe and his mate. "Buffy, that soul spell you performed, you noticed that Connor was carrying a part of your soul, yes?"
Buffy nodded. She'd thought it odd as well, but she had no way of explaining it.
"Well, what if we told you that part of your soul was in Connor? That you lost maybe half of what you had left and it went into Connor," Wesley said gently.
"Wait…two things. First, why would Connor have part of my soul, and second…what do you mean 'what I had left'?"
Wesley knew that the answer to the first question wasn't his place. The second answer however, whilst painful, was something he could field.
"Buffy, that spell indicated that you were sharing your soul with three other beings besides yourself. I'd guess that one is with Dawn, another with Connor and another with Angel. And the portion with Angel is split further between Angel and Angelus," Wesley explained.
"So…what? I've got like a quarter of a soul or something?"
Wesley nodded.
Buffy swallowed hard. It certainly explained why she'd never felt quite right after everything that had happened the year before. It also made a certain sort of sense about sharing her soul with Dawn and with Angel. "But why with Connor?"
Wesley looked to the Vampire. Angel knelt in front of Buffy and put his hands around hers, noticing that his mate was trembling.
"Buffy, Wesley thinks that you are Connor's mother," Angel said softly.
Buffy felt everything inside of her freeze. That wasn't possible. For one thing, Connor wasn't hers. For another, the only time that she'd been with Angel had been five years ago. She also knew for a fact that Slayer couldn't have children. She'd managed to get that bit of information out of Giles after about half an hour of pestering him about why no Slayers had ever had children.
"Uh huh…"
"Buffy, I know it sounds insane, but…I think he may be right," Angel whispered. "I've always wanted you to be Connor's mother. I look into his eyes, and I see your eyes staring back at me. The connection I feel to Connor always felt so familiar to me, because it was the connection that you and I share. And I know that this is a lot to take in, but…you need to know."
Buffy couldn't think, could barely even remember to keep breathing. She shook her head to try and clear away her thoughts.
"Is…can we find out…somehow?" she asked quietly.
Angel looked to Wesley who was already heading towards the bookcase.
"Buffy, there's something else you need to know," Angel whispered so that Wesley wouldn't hear. "About that day you visited me after Thanksgiving."
He had her full attention now. It seemed so random, and it gave her something else to focus on.
"What about it?"
"Did you ever…dream that we'd spent more than five minutes together? Maybe an entire day together? With me meeting you at the pier-"
"At Santa Monica, out in the sunlight," Buffy finished.
Angel nodded and felt tears in his eyes. He'd never really considered the possibility of Buffy remembering their Day-That-Wasn't.
"And we came back to the office and-"
"Drank tea and tried to make a mature plan, but…we ended up making love," Buffy whispered, tears streaming down her face. "All of that…it really happened?"
Angel nodded and gently wiped the tears from her face. He hated seeing her cry. It seemed that all her had ever done was make his true love cry.
"You turned back the day…gave up your humanity so that I wouldn't die," Buffy said. "You think Connor has something to do with that?"
Angel nodded. "I'm almost sure of it."
Buffy leant forward in her chair and dropped to her knees in front of Angel, hugging him fiercely. He returned the hug just as tightly, rocking her as she cried against his shirt. Wesley looked at them, not wanting to disturb their moment, but he knew that they needed to know the truth about Connor's parentage.
Without a word, Wesley handed an open book to Angel who took it and read through the spell. Angel gently pulled back and helped Buffy to her feet. He offered her a tissue from a box on his desk and waited patiently until Buffy had dried her face.
"Now what?" she asked quietly.
"We find out for sure."
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Strangely enough the episode 'Smashed' actually DOES line up with 'Lullaby' when Connor is born. My theory does work. Trust me, I spent a looooong time working out dates and stuff (though I may have been wrong on some stuff…)
Mega thanks for the reviews!!!
