Xavier's Fables: The Toad and the Sabertooth.
Well, this is the last one of Xavier's twisted fables. Aesop has been haunting my dreams lately, which means I need to either double my medication or end this saga. I chose the latter because of my damn HMO. Basterds… But I digress. Hope you all enjoyed it.
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Xavier's
"How do we end up in these situation?" Blob asked as the Brotherhood stood, chained to the wall like the X-Men where. Except for Wanda, who sat cross-legged on the floor in front of Xavier, demanding another story.
"I really blame Kitty for this one." Scott muttered. "Her driving finally drove the Professor insane."
"ME! What about all the times he's caught you and Jean doing it in the library, the bathroom, Mr. Logan's study, or the Infirmary?" Kitty demanded.
"Way to go Summers." Lance cracked. "Never knew you had it in you. Petey, I owe you ten bucks, he isn't gay."
"Yes." Pietro crowed as he smiled.
"Hey, what about Evan? Huh. Him leaving really didn't help things out you know." Jean stated.
"Leave him out of this!" Kurt stated.
"Watch it fur ball. Remember all the times you've clogged the drain with that mop you call fur?" Kitty snapped.
"You know, I am really starting to enjoy this." Toad said to Blob, who nodded in agreement.
"All we need is some popcorn." Blob said as a thing of Popcorn magically appeared in front of him. "SCORE!" Blob shouted as he began too much. "I don't know what's in it, all I know is that I cant stop eating it."
"SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!!!!" Xavier demanded, his face turning a strange ruby color.
"He really needs a hefty dose of Prozac." Lance stated.
"He's already on it." Logan muttered.
"Now, I hope all you children had fun here in my special place for you all." Xavier said with a big smile.
"I knew it. He's a petafile." Toad quipped.
"Today will be the last story I tell you all, but fret not, because this is a story of how kindness can earn you friends…" Xavier said with a huge smile.
"Kill me." Nightcrawler muttered. "Please?"
"I would if I could. Believe you me." Toad muttered.
"This story takes place in a land, far, far away…" Xavier began as he opened his giant book.
"And here we go…" Lance quipped.
********************
"The Acolytes secret base
"IT HURTS!!!" Came the screams from Sabertooth's room.
"What's going on?" Pyro asked as Gambit walked by.
"He's watching the Stock exchange reports on C-Span again." Gambit said as he walked by.
"THE PAIN!!!"
"Oh." Pyro muttered as he made his way back to his room.
"I need to get out of here." Sabertooth cried as he emerged from his room. "I know! I'll go try and kill Logan, that'll cheer me up." Sabertooth shouted as he ran outside and hopped on his motorcycle and drove off.
"He does realize that he's driving towards a cliff, right?" Colossus asked.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" (THUMP)
"He does now." Gambit winced.
"My spine…" Sabertooth moaned.
********************
Xavier's
"My spine…" Sabertooth moaned as he limped away, a very sharp stick imbedded in his back.
"Come back when you learn how to fight." Wolverine laughed as he drank a beer.
"Damn strait." Logan's voice came from nowhere.
"SHUT UP AND ENJY THE DAMN STORY!" Xavier shouted at him from off screen.
"Damn…" Sabertooth muttered as he tried to pull the thorn like stick from his spine. "I can't reach it. Maybe those punks in the Brotherhood house can help." Sabertooth thought as he limped over to the 'Hood house ™. Getting run over by several cars in the process.
(Ding-Dong)
"I got it." Blob shouted as he opened the door to see Sabertooth standing there. He immediately slammed the door. "Lance! Its for you!"
"Kitty?" Lance asked as his head poked out of nowhere.
"Come back here lover." Taryen's voice stated as her hand pulled him back.
"YOU TWO TIMMING BASTERD!" Kitty's voice shouted.
"I never slept with Taryen!" Lance cried from off screen as his on screen version wiped lipstick off. "And you broke up with me, Remember!" Lance shouted as he jumped out of his room and pulled his pants on. "Damn Xavier, you are twisted." Lance muttered to himself.
"SHUT UP AND ANSWER THE DAMN DOOR!" Xavier's voice shouted.
"Fine." Lance said as he opened the door to see Sabertooth standing there. He slammed the door immediately. "Pietro! Its for you!" Lance shouted as he ran away as fast as he could.
"This is getting old." Sabertooth muttered as Pietro slammed the door in his face and called for Toad.
"What's up yo…" Toad began as he opened the door and saw Sabertooth. "Eep."
"I'm not gonna kill you!" Sabertooth shouted. "For now." He then added under his breath. "I just need some help with something."
"Eep." Toad stated.
"Do you think you can pull this out of my spine." Sabertooth said as he turned around to reveal a large spike coming from his back. "It really hurts."
"Eep." Toad replied as he grabbed the stick and yanked it out.
"Thanks. Now lets go drink some Liquor." Sabertooth said as he dragged Toad out of the house and towards the nearest bar.
"Eep." Was Toad's only reply.
"I don't like where this is going…" Toad's voice said from off screen.
"SHUT UP!" Xavier screamed.
LATER THAT WEEK
"You're dead Tolensky!" Duncan shouted a she picked up Toad, preparing to beat him.
"Spring forth, Burly protector!" Toad called out. "And come to your comrades aid!"
"Ah, cripes…" Sabertooth muttered as he came out of the bushes, rubbing his left arm. "Look I don't hangout with him normally." Sabertooth said sullenly before he ripped Duncan apart.
"Hail to the tale of Sabertooth the Brave, and the courage he displayed!' Toad sang as he danced around Sabertooth as the two walked away. "The was the young boy that he cheered! They stayed the best of friends for years and years and years…" Toad sang as he skipped around.
"Ah cripes." Sabertooth moaned. "I knew I should took ballet like mom said…" Sabertooth moaned.
********************
Back in reality
"And so Toad and Sabertooth became the best of friends, staying together for two years, until Sabertooth got fed up with Toad singing and tore him to pieces. The he had frog legs for supper for a week strait…" Xavier said as he closed his large book.
"I'm gonna be sick…" Toad moaned, looking greener than usual.
"YAY! Tell it again! Tell it again!" Wanda cheered.
"She's sick." Lance quipped.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Scott cried at Xavier.
"Nothing a healthy dose of Prozac won't fix." Logan muttered.
"Now, does anyone know the moral of today's story?" Xavier asked.
"Crap." Rogue whimpered as she looked around for a means of escape, she found none.
"Nobody?" Xavier asked. "Well then Rogue, why don't you spin the "Wheel of Morality" to find out the answer?" Xavier asked.
"DO I have to?" Rogue asked as she started to tiptoe away.
"SPIN THE GOD DAMN WHEEL!" Xavier shouted, turning red.
"Yikes!" Rogue squeaked as she ran over to the giant wheel and gave it a mighty spin. "Wheel of Morality, turn, turn, turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn." Rouge recited as the Wheel landed on the number 39. "Moral number Thirty-nine: If at first you don't succeed, sue." Rouge read aloud.
"Makes sense." Lance stated.
"Unlike everything else in this story." Blob muttered. "Oh well, only one thing left to do now."
"Happy Halloween everybody!" The entire gathered assemble of mutants shouted as they broke into a disco dance funk, Lance, Wolverine and Beast spouting Afro's out of nowhere.
********************
Ah, Another fic to be put on the shelf…. In my new room at this nice new building. Oh look, here come those nice men in white coats. Well, I gotta go. See you all later.
Descendent
P.s. Please review
Well, this is the last one of Xavier's twisted fables. Aesop has been haunting my dreams lately, which means I need to either double my medication or end this saga. I chose the latter because of my damn HMO. Basterds… But I digress. Hope you all enjoyed it.
********************
Xavier's
"How do we end up in these situation?" Blob asked as the Brotherhood stood, chained to the wall like the X-Men where. Except for Wanda, who sat cross-legged on the floor in front of Xavier, demanding another story.
"I really blame Kitty for this one." Scott muttered. "Her driving finally drove the Professor insane."
"ME! What about all the times he's caught you and Jean doing it in the library, the bathroom, Mr. Logan's study, or the Infirmary?" Kitty demanded.
"Way to go Summers." Lance cracked. "Never knew you had it in you. Petey, I owe you ten bucks, he isn't gay."
"Yes." Pietro crowed as he smiled.
"Hey, what about Evan? Huh. Him leaving really didn't help things out you know." Jean stated.
"Leave him out of this!" Kurt stated.
"Watch it fur ball. Remember all the times you've clogged the drain with that mop you call fur?" Kitty snapped.
"You know, I am really starting to enjoy this." Toad said to Blob, who nodded in agreement.
"All we need is some popcorn." Blob said as a thing of Popcorn magically appeared in front of him. "SCORE!" Blob shouted as he began too much. "I don't know what's in it, all I know is that I cant stop eating it."
"SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!!!!" Xavier demanded, his face turning a strange ruby color.
"He really needs a hefty dose of Prozac." Lance stated.
"He's already on it." Logan muttered.
"Now, I hope all you children had fun here in my special place for you all." Xavier said with a big smile.
"I knew it. He's a petafile." Toad quipped.
"Today will be the last story I tell you all, but fret not, because this is a story of how kindness can earn you friends…" Xavier said with a huge smile.
"Kill me." Nightcrawler muttered. "Please?"
"I would if I could. Believe you me." Toad muttered.
"This story takes place in a land, far, far away…" Xavier began as he opened his giant book.
"And here we go…" Lance quipped.
********************
"The Acolytes secret base
"IT HURTS!!!" Came the screams from Sabertooth's room.
"What's going on?" Pyro asked as Gambit walked by.
"He's watching the Stock exchange reports on C-Span again." Gambit said as he walked by.
"THE PAIN!!!"
"Oh." Pyro muttered as he made his way back to his room.
"I need to get out of here." Sabertooth cried as he emerged from his room. "I know! I'll go try and kill Logan, that'll cheer me up." Sabertooth shouted as he ran outside and hopped on his motorcycle and drove off.
"He does realize that he's driving towards a cliff, right?" Colossus asked.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" (THUMP)
"He does now." Gambit winced.
"My spine…" Sabertooth moaned.
********************
Xavier's
"My spine…" Sabertooth moaned as he limped away, a very sharp stick imbedded in his back.
"Come back when you learn how to fight." Wolverine laughed as he drank a beer.
"Damn strait." Logan's voice came from nowhere.
"SHUT UP AND ENJY THE DAMN STORY!" Xavier shouted at him from off screen.
"Damn…" Sabertooth muttered as he tried to pull the thorn like stick from his spine. "I can't reach it. Maybe those punks in the Brotherhood house can help." Sabertooth thought as he limped over to the 'Hood house ™. Getting run over by several cars in the process.
(Ding-Dong)
"I got it." Blob shouted as he opened the door to see Sabertooth standing there. He immediately slammed the door. "Lance! Its for you!"
"Kitty?" Lance asked as his head poked out of nowhere.
"Come back here lover." Taryen's voice stated as her hand pulled him back.
"YOU TWO TIMMING BASTERD!" Kitty's voice shouted.
"I never slept with Taryen!" Lance cried from off screen as his on screen version wiped lipstick off. "And you broke up with me, Remember!" Lance shouted as he jumped out of his room and pulled his pants on. "Damn Xavier, you are twisted." Lance muttered to himself.
"SHUT UP AND ANSWER THE DAMN DOOR!" Xavier's voice shouted.
"Fine." Lance said as he opened the door to see Sabertooth standing there. He slammed the door immediately. "Pietro! Its for you!" Lance shouted as he ran away as fast as he could.
"This is getting old." Sabertooth muttered as Pietro slammed the door in his face and called for Toad.
"What's up yo…" Toad began as he opened the door and saw Sabertooth. "Eep."
"I'm not gonna kill you!" Sabertooth shouted. "For now." He then added under his breath. "I just need some help with something."
"Eep." Toad stated.
"Do you think you can pull this out of my spine." Sabertooth said as he turned around to reveal a large spike coming from his back. "It really hurts."
"Eep." Toad replied as he grabbed the stick and yanked it out.
"Thanks. Now lets go drink some Liquor." Sabertooth said as he dragged Toad out of the house and towards the nearest bar.
"Eep." Was Toad's only reply.
"I don't like where this is going…" Toad's voice said from off screen.
"SHUT UP!" Xavier screamed.
LATER THAT WEEK
"You're dead Tolensky!" Duncan shouted a she picked up Toad, preparing to beat him.
"Spring forth, Burly protector!" Toad called out. "And come to your comrades aid!"
"Ah, cripes…" Sabertooth muttered as he came out of the bushes, rubbing his left arm. "Look I don't hangout with him normally." Sabertooth said sullenly before he ripped Duncan apart.
"Hail to the tale of Sabertooth the Brave, and the courage he displayed!' Toad sang as he danced around Sabertooth as the two walked away. "The was the young boy that he cheered! They stayed the best of friends for years and years and years…" Toad sang as he skipped around.
"Ah cripes." Sabertooth moaned. "I knew I should took ballet like mom said…" Sabertooth moaned.
********************
Back in reality
"And so Toad and Sabertooth became the best of friends, staying together for two years, until Sabertooth got fed up with Toad singing and tore him to pieces. The he had frog legs for supper for a week strait…" Xavier said as he closed his large book.
"I'm gonna be sick…" Toad moaned, looking greener than usual.
"YAY! Tell it again! Tell it again!" Wanda cheered.
"She's sick." Lance quipped.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Scott cried at Xavier.
"Nothing a healthy dose of Prozac won't fix." Logan muttered.
"Now, does anyone know the moral of today's story?" Xavier asked.
"Crap." Rogue whimpered as she looked around for a means of escape, she found none.
"Nobody?" Xavier asked. "Well then Rogue, why don't you spin the "Wheel of Morality" to find out the answer?" Xavier asked.
"DO I have to?" Rogue asked as she started to tiptoe away.
"SPIN THE GOD DAMN WHEEL!" Xavier shouted, turning red.
"Yikes!" Rogue squeaked as she ran over to the giant wheel and gave it a mighty spin. "Wheel of Morality, turn, turn, turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn." Rouge recited as the Wheel landed on the number 39. "Moral number Thirty-nine: If at first you don't succeed, sue." Rouge read aloud.
"Makes sense." Lance stated.
"Unlike everything else in this story." Blob muttered. "Oh well, only one thing left to do now."
"Happy Halloween everybody!" The entire gathered assemble of mutants shouted as they broke into a disco dance funk, Lance, Wolverine and Beast spouting Afro's out of nowhere.
********************
Ah, Another fic to be put on the shelf…. In my new room at this nice new building. Oh look, here come those nice men in white coats. Well, I gotta go. See you all later.
Descendent
P.s. Please review