Betaed by kateydidnt
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Chapter 5 - Book-worm
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"Are you here again?"
Harry lifted his head from the Charms book, which he was reading and Ares went on.
"Aren't you ready to call it quits?"
Harry yawned and looked at the boy standing next to HIS table in the library. He loved this desk, this place, hidden in the rear of the immense book-hall, a little, safe-looking, cosy nook, in the 'Arabic mysticism' section. Harry was convinced that nobody in the building was interested in either Arabic or mysticism, and he hadn't been wrong. He was sheltered here. There was even a window giving the correct amount of light for reading and writing. Harry stretched himself and glanced at his watch. It was almost dinner time. He cast a look out the window and saw that there was darkness outside - it wasn't strange considering the fact that it was the last week of September. He smiled lightly and closed the book with a determinate move.
"Yes, I think it's over for today."
Ares shook his head amusingly.
"Have you been studying here since the end of the last lesson?"
Harry began to put his parchments into his bag.
"Oh, no. First I went home to pick up my books..." he waved his hand dismissively. Ares smirked.
"Of course. It would have been very hard to study without them," he winked at Harry, then he sat down in front of him. "Were you always studying so much?"
Harry cast a thoughtful look at him.
"No. But now as I'm here and everybody is waiting for me to be worthy of my family's damned reputation I feel I have no other choice. And on the other hand... I don't know what to do in my free time," he confessed finally.
"Uh... you say that you weren't able to find something interesting except for studying?"
"Is it so unbelievable?"
"Quite."
Harry laughed a little bitterly. Some weeks ago he would have thought the same.
"Let's go then. I'm pretty bored here."
"Are you?" Ares seemed surprised.
"Of course. I'm not as keen on studying as I seem," Harry shook his head mimicking annoyance. "But, on the other hand, what would my father say if I were lurking round the school playing stupid pranks instead of being the best student of my year?"
"Well, that is the main reason I'm glad my father doesn't work here, in the school..."
Harry rolled his eyes in return. However, he wasn't really upset that Severus worked and lived in the same building as him. On the contrary.
And most of all after THOSE events...
Harry shuddered as he thought of that afternoon during the second week of school. He had been walking to the library to do the homework when Ron had stopped him in an empty hallway.
Harry hadn't been surprised. Severus had acted terribly in potions class and he had taken more than fifty points from the Gryffindor. Indeed, all of them from Ron. He had had a good reason to do it: Ron had sabotaged his own potion, turned Malfoy's cauldron over and, in the end he cast a Filibuster firework into Harry's, which had exploded sending Neville into the Infirmary for a few days. Harry had gotten away unharmed, because he had leaned over to pick up some fallen ingredients, but Neville... He looked awful.
Severus had been mad. His black eyes had been glittering with wrath as he had carefully removed the points. And then he had shocked both houses by escorting the petrified Neville to the Infirmary personally.
So, Ron had stopped him. Harry had suspected in that very moment, that nothing good would happen. He had been right. Ron had begun their conversation by calling Harry names (his favourite was 'Sly' or 'filthy Sly', sometimes 'greasy Sly', however, Harry's hair wasn't greasy unlike Severus' - well, he had never spent as much time with potions as him). In reality Harry couldn't understand his way of thinking and acting. He had never committed anything against him, on the contrary, he had been trying to earn his friendship - and after the first days his neutrality, Harry had never replied his insults and offences... Even then he first had tried to ignore him and his sharp and hurting remarks and to remain friendly nevertheless. His efforts had infuriated Ron more than anything. Finally he had become more brutal than ever. He had spat at Harry's face that he wasn't anything but a little filthy Slytherin, a future servant of the Dark Lord, a murderer, like his father - and at this point Harry couldn't help but punch him in face breaking his nose. He had regretted it in an instant - but it had been done.
Harry could handle everything except for hurting Severus. No. He didn't deserved to be hurt, called a murderer... So he had broken Ron's nose. The red-haired boy had been sitting on the floor holding his bleeding nose in his hand, a strange, stunned expression on his face - Harry had been just about to help him stand and go to the infirmary, but of course, at that moment McGonagall had appeared in the empty corridor.
Harry winced at the memory. McGonagall standing between them, turning her gaze from one to the other... She hadn't asked anything; just helped Ron to his feet sending him to Madam Pomfrey and then the stern professor had brought Harry to Dumbledore's office.
There hadn't been any witnesses to this event, just Ron's bleeding and broken nose had testified that Harry was a monster just like his father. Dumbledore then had sent McGonagall away and had questioned him about the quarrel. Harry, however, had refused to say a word, just had stood there in a stubborn silence, his eyes fixed to the floor, until Severus had come and had brought him home.
Harry hadn't wanted to tell him the story, but he had insisted and pressed him, so finally he had given up and despite the fact that he had been aware of the consequences of his eloquence, he had told Severus almost the whole story. Except for Ron's final remark about him as a murderer.
It had been a mistake.
The day after Severus had been so terrible towards Ron that even the Slytherins had been appalled by his fury. And, of course, the whole school had summarized that Harry and Severus were just the same - like father like son. Harry, the monster had broken his classmate's nose and his biased father had punished the victim instead of his responsible son.
Since then Harry had been more a loner than ever before. He was still angry with Severus, but he could totally understand his reaction. Severus hadn't been worse than him, when he had broken Ron's nose.
Since then his relationship with the Gryffindors had been pretty cold and mostly formal, even with Neville who didn't want to fight with his whole house for a Snape, and most of the teachers seemed to be disappointed in him too. McGonagall, Flitwick, Vector... Figg's hatred towards him had increased as well.
Then Harry had retreated to the library. His studies kept his mind away from the disturbing and painful memories and present events; they allowed him to enter another world, in which he could feel free, free of expectations, prejudices, hatred and nightmares.
After that fateful quarrel he hadn't even tried to sleep alone for days. He had felt ridiculous as he had climbed Severus' bed and had curled next to him, but he couldn't have helped it. He had needed his help, his presence. He had felt so awfully alone...
Everything seemed to turn out wrong and always worse than before.
"Hey, mate!" Ares' voice snapped him out of his dark thoughts. "What's the problem?"
Harry shrugged.
"The same as always."
"Stupid Gryffindors?"
Harry curved his lips to a mocked smile.
"It was Weasley, wasn't he? Does he have to poke his broken nose into everybody's business?"
"Let's go to have dinner," Harry changed the topic. "I'm dying of hunger."
And this was a flat out lie too. He and hunger! Ridiculous. Ares eyed him questioningly.
"Quietus, don't be stupid. You're never hungry. Is there something wrong?"
It was the tone of a worrying friend. Harry looked at him. He wanted to tell him everything, to open up to him, but no. He was Ares NOTT of people and his father was one of his tormenters two months ago, a Death Eater - so he wasn't allowed to befriend him.
He lowered his glance to the floor and gulped.
"Nothing."
Harry was sure it would take a little time and then even Ares would leave him. Harry's constant rejection of his worry and friendship would push him away surely.
"But... thanks for worrying about me," Harry added unable to push him away totally.
They faced the Great Hall.
"And what about your day?" Harry asked.
"Nothing interesting. A little fight with Malfoy, who was babbling something stupid about You-Know-Who's return and the Slytherins' duty," Ares shrugged. "The same as always. Stupid little prat. I'm a Slytherin, not a criminal!"
Harry gaped at him in shock. But his father... No. It couldn't be true. It seemed Ares really wasn't aware of his father's 'preferences'. Harry was about to open his mouth when a sudden movement from a corner caught his eyes. He waved to Ares and both went silent. Somebody was there. Harry's hand was searching for his wand in his belt...
But he didn't need it. It was Ron and Hermione. In a very... strange situation. Harry's eyes widened in surprise as he grabbed Ares' arm and dragged him away as fast as he could.
"Hey, did you know it?" Ares laughed just as they were out of earshot. "Gryffindor's little know-it-all dating the stupid Weasley?"
Harry forced a smile, but inside he felt... disillusioned. And more loneliness that even before. However, he didn't understand, why. He didn't want to date Hermione - and he was jealous nonetheless. Jealous of their relationship. And he was locked out now, so totally...
"Hey, Ares, I... I need to go home now," he said suddenly.
Ares cast a thoughtful look at him.
"Do you like the Granger girl?" he asked in sympathy.
Harry shook his head.
"No, just..." what should he say? "I want to go home," he said again and turning around left Ares behind. As he was far enough not to be seen he began to run frantically. He was very grateful that Severus was in the Great Hall having dinner with the rest of the school, and after he would have a meeting with the Headmaster. He wanted to be alone. To be left alone.
As he reached their quarters and got inside, threw his bag on the sofa and lay on the floor on his stomach on his favourite carpet just in front of the fireplace, leaned his head on his elbow and stared blankly at the flames. He didn't cry. Just lay there in pain. He was alone.
He would have been so happy with their relationship as Harry Potter! But as Quietus Snape he suddenly realized that the chance to befriend them again had passed away, perhaps forever.
From now on he had to live Quietus Snape's life instead of Harry Potter's.
But he didn't want it. He wanted his old life back. But no. It was over once and for all.
But... how could he live another life? He was the same, wasn't he? And why didn't anybody notice it?
Or... no. He wasn't the same. He was a silent, strange boy with phobias, which were pretty well known now to the majority of his classmates. And the prejudices did their wonderful work too. He was expected to be the mean Snape's son, so he was. Not in reality, just in their mind, but it was the same.
So?
Who was he? He covered his face with his palms.
His constant question since he had left Severus' quarters with his changed features one and a half months ago.
But now, he had to find the answer once and for all.
He sank in thought. Undeniably he was Quietus Snape. His father was Quietus Snape, his mother was Lily Evans, and his stepfather was James Potter. That was clear. He had been living Harry Potter's life for almost fifteen years. All his past was Harry Potter's past, his friends were Potter's friends - his feelings and memories were Potter's too. Even their common captivity with Severus was Potter's, not his. He, as Quietus had no past.
But in spite of Potter he had future. Everything was now in his hand. Everything to begin a new life - except for one thing: his feelings. He still felt like Harry. And that played a more important part in his life than he had ever suspected.
He still couldn't consider Quietus Snape his father, however, he respected the man characterised many times by Severus. He was all too distant. But Severus - he smiled as he thought of him. Severus had changed. He wasn't as mean and cruel as he used to be even in the lessons; however, it remained unnoticed by many students. And he was something like a father for him. Harry had never told him that he felt that way. He wasn't sure if Severus would be happy to hear it or not. Harry knew well how much he loved his brother. Perhaps he would become sad to hear that. Yes, Harry didn't think of him as a stepfather. He was about to become a real father in every sense of the word in Harry's mind.
But were his feelings towards Severus enough to begin a new life? Especially if it turned out that he wasn't his son, but his brother's... Then would he have to begin a new life again? Harry shuddered.
LIES!
He hated those lies!
Lies with words and lies with silence, like when he had broken Ron's nose. It was him, who hadn't said a word against Ron, however, his punishment would have been easier... He had spent two whole afternoons to clean up the owlery without magic.
And Ron had been laughing at him when he had found out.
Harry shuddered again.
Then he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Quiet?"
It was Severus.
"You have to be at the meeting," Harry said matter-of-factly.
"I excused myself when I saw that you weren't in the Hall."
Harry nodded, his face still covered by his hands.
"So you won't leave me alone again."
"Precisely."
"Wonderful."
Harry refused to look at him. He stared at the flames through the holes between his fingers. Severus lay next to him.
"So?"
"Nothing."
"Have you eaten anything at all?"
"For lunch. And some apples in the library."
"You are still too thin."
"I don't care."
"Was it Weasley?"
"No. And yes."
"Harassing?"
"Kissing."
"WHAT?"
Harry turned onto his back and laughed.
"Not me, oh, almighty Potions Master. He was kissing Hermione."
Severus was taken aback.
"And then?" he croaked finally.
"Nothing," Harry shrugged.
"But... is it enough reason not to have dinner?"
"Sometimes I wonder how could you be one of the best students in this school."
"Impertinent prat."
"Stupid adult."
Severus suddenly looked at him seriously.
"Do you like Hermione?"
Harry waved his hand, stood up and sat on the sofa. Severus sat on the chair face-to-face with him.
"Good god! You, guys are all the same!"
"What?"
"Ares asked me the same thing. But my answer is: no. I'm not in love with her. I just realized that I can never be their friend," Harry explained.
"Why?"
"Use your head, Severus!" Harry cried impatiently.
"I try. But I was teenager so long ago. I don't have exact memories of that period," Severus looked at him. "However, I'm quite sure that their relationship won't reduce your chance to befriend them again."
"Well, I'm quite sure that it will," Harry replied. "And I realized that I have to live my life."
"I don't understand."
"I have to live Quietus' life instead of Harry's. Is it clear?"
Severus sighed.
"Not at all."
"Well, then I will try to explain it. Look. I'm really Quietus Snape. Yes, I was really Harry too, but that period is over, perhaps forever. So I have to order my things in life that I will live my life as Quietus Snape. Anyway, I will never be THAT Harry Potter again. Indeed. I think I will never be a Potter again. Is it clear?"
The man nodded. Harry smiled slightly.
"Finally."
A quiet knocking interrupted the conversation.
"Come in!" Severus said.
"Good evening!" Dumbledore smiled them, but his eyes were serious. "I hope I'm not disturbing."
"No, Albus. Sit down, please. Tea?" When the old man nodded, Severus ordered tea with a short wave of his wand. "So?"
"The Ministry decided to take the first steps in the war."
Severus leaned forward.
"What do they want...?"
"Tomorrow a dozen of Aurors will come to examine the students. And they will repeat their examination monthly."
Severus almost collapsed back.
"Oh, no." His hands clinched into fists. "Bloody hell..."
Harry looked at him worried.
"What's the problem, Severus?"
But it wasn't Severus who answered his question.
"They will focus on Severus' house, and on you," Dumbledore's voice was silent and tired.
Harry got frightened.
"What?" he cried. "How will they examine me?"
"They will check your forearm and they will question you," the Headmaster said. "Please, roll up your sleeve, Harry."
"Quietus, sir," Harry corrected him quietly and rolled his sleeve up.
His forearm was free of any marks, but wasn't free of Avery's cuts. The smooth skin was criss-crossed by them. They began to fade with the time, but the deeper ones were still rose.
"If they see it, they will ask you what these are."
"I will say I had an accident," Harry shrugged. "A car crash, for example."
"Right. And if they want to know anything about your life before this summer, you should send them to Severus. You can tell them only the very basic parts of the story."
Harry nodded.
"And, Quiet, you have to get prepared that they won't handle you kindly," Severus said sadly. "They will ask you a lot of questions about me and your loyalties and they will consider you a dark wizard even if you state the opposite..."
"Because I'm your son, isn't it?"
It was Dumbledore, who answered the question.
"Yes and no, Quietus. All the Slytherins will be examined thoroughly and every child, who have er... let me say this way: suspicious family members."
"Do you mean the children of the Death Eaters?"
"Not only the children. Every family member is suspected..."
"Idiocy..." muttered Harry under his breath. "But they know of Severus that he isn't a Death Eater any more..."
None of the adults answered. When Harry looked at Severus, he cleared his throat in nervousness.
"I don't think so, Harry. If they believed me, they would have already declared Black innocent."
Harry's eyes widened in astonishment.
"But you said they questioned you with Veritaserum..." he mumbled confused.
Severus just waved his hand in resignation.
"Veritaserum... they don't believe their own serums either."
"But then... what if they won't believe me? My story? Will they bring me to the Ministry to..."
"No, Quietus. I won't let you be taken away from here," Dumbledore said calmingly. "But tomorrow you have to be very, very careful. They will throw a Revelo spell on you to examine your arm, and if they catch that famous scar of yours..."
Harry froze.
"Oh, no..." he mumbled and reached his hand to his forehead. His fingers trembled.
"And they will see the cuts on your neck too," Severus added quietly. "You have to wear your turtleneck sweater, if you didn't want them to be seen."
"Headmaster, did you say that they will come in every month?" Harry turned to the old man.
"Probably. I don't remember correctly. It was almost fifteen years ago the last time they came."
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Harry could feel as strong hands grabbed his shoulder and motioned him towards the entrance of the school.
"So, you were here all the time, Mr Potter," an Auror said, who was very similar to Moody, but was much younger, and crueller.
Harry uttered a cry of pain as the hands tightened their grip on him.
"Don't try to escape, you can't, believe me," the man was smiling at him with an ugly, evil smirk, and Harry felt panic raising in him.
"But... But I didn't do anything," he stuttered in fear. "I just..."
"You killed Cedric Diggory and tricked the Ministry with your death to continue your work for You-Know-Who with your filthy father's help... You aren't even Potter's son! What a shame! If the wizarding world will know the truth about their famous hero and his slut of a mother..."
"No... my mum..."
"And we heard about your little quarrel with Mr Weasley who suspected you, and your agressive reaction to his sincere questions."
"He didn't ask me questions! He called me names and hurt Severus..."
"And you tried to beat him, perhaps even kill him..."
"No, I..."
"It was lucky that professor McGonagall came and saved the boy's life from your attack!"
"No! That's not the true, he..."
"Silence, Mr Potter - or should I say Mr Snape?"
Harry felt tears of fear in his eyes as they reached the main entrance of the school. Soon, they would leave, to go to the Ministry's dungeons and he would be tortured again...
"No..."
He didn't want to leave the school. Why didn't Dumbledore come and save him?
"No..."
The big, brown doors opened. The man pushed Harry through them.
"NOOOO!" he cried as he fell to the floor, his eyes shut tightly.
"Harry, Harry, wake up..." he heard Severus' voice suddenly from above.
"Severus, don't let me be taken to the Ministry," he cried. "Call Dumbledore, please!"
"Harry, open your eyes. You are at home. Nobody wants to take you away," Harry could feel Severus' arms sneaking around him and holding him tightly. "Shh... you're safe. You're at home with me."
Harry relaxed slowly.
"What's the time?" he asked after he regained his composure.
"It's 5 a.m. You're a little early today," he smiled at Harry who nestled himself tightly into his chest.
"I don't want to be questioned. Can you be with me there?" Harry mumbled into Severus' nightshirt.
"No, Harry. You have to do it alone. And I will have to care for the other children too..."
"Your Slytherins?" Harry gulped as he asked it.
"Yes. I think they will need my support after it."
"I see," Harry said and tried to sat up. "Now can you let me go to the bathroom?" he asked in mock irritation. "You pamper me. If the others knew that the good old Potions Master is hugging and comforting Harry Potter every now and then, they would die from serious breathing problems."
"Let them die in peace. I won't let you go until you calm down."
"And what about my needs? I can't calm down if you don't let me go to the loo."
"Stupid Potter. Go then."
"I'm not a Potter, Snape. And I'm not even a Harry. I'm Quiet, your son, can't you remember, DAD?" It was so good to say this word even if it was just a game...
"Geh... MY son... well," Severus smirked. "You are more similar to me than Quietus..."
"Oh, no," Harry shook his head in panic. "I'm not like you!" he stuck his tongue at Severus and left running.
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Harry stared blankly at his Advanced Transfiguration book in his hand. He had read that page for the fifth time, but he still couldn't recall a word of it.
He sighed and put the book down to the table. It didn't work. He was still too worked up and nervous, but he knew that Severus had to deal with his students too, and he had to wait for the evening or pehaps for the night to share his experiences with him.
In reality the questioning hadn't been as bad as he had thought before, however, he had often reached to his forehead and smoothed his hair to the revealed scar. But no Auror had wanted to cast a look at his forehead, they had examined only his forearms, both of them, and while they had surely noticed the cuts they hadn't mentioned it.
The questions had been simple and quick about his loyalties and when Harry had told them that he had been raised by his muggle grandparents and his muggle mother they had let the topic fall and had sent him out in five minutes.
As soon as Harry had gotten out, he had pulled out his wand and had recast the glamouries on all his scars and cuts. Fortunately no one had seemed to watch him.
Harry couldn't understand their behaviour. Why had they been so easy on him, Severus Snape's, the ex-Death Eater's son? He dreaded the answer. Perhaps they had already had their proof against him to take him away whenever they wanted. This idea seemed a little bit paranoid, but Harry couldn't help. He WAS paranoid, wasn't he?
He forced his look again at the Transfiguration book and concentrated hard.
'In order to transfigure a magical creature into another magical one, we should know the exact way its - their - magic works. The transfiguration of one kind of magic into another is one of the most difficult parts of Transfiguration studies...'
And so on.
It was extremelly boring. And this was only the first page. Out of fifteen they had to read in two days. And there was the Potions essay on the use of hippogriffs' features in healing potions and another essay on the dark wizards in the 19th century for professor Binns for the next week. As the OWLs came closer every teacher became more meticulous and stern than ever. Even Severus and McGonagall were able to render their expectations stricter, however, Harry and his mates had never considered them to be loose.
He inhaled deeply and began to scribble the notes on the parchment when he heard somebody stopping at his desk. He lifted his head angrily. Ares came in the worst moment of all, when he finally managed to understand the blasted chapter!
But it was not Ares. It was Hermione, seemingly embarrassed.
"Hello, Quietus. Would you mind if I sit here? The other tables are occupied..."
Harry couldn't help but snap irritated.
"If my presence doesn't disturb you, you may stay here," he said and turned his glance to his notes again, but he was suddenly too nervous to pay attention. Damn it!
"Why did you say that?" Hermione asked after she sat down.
"What?" Harry barked angrily.
"That stupidity about your presence."
"I've broken your precious boyfriend's nose, don't you remember?" Harry leaned back and crossed his arms.
Hermione's face turned into a bright red colour.
"How do you know about that?" she asked hoarsely.
Harry shrugged.
"I've seen you kissing in a corridor," he stated.
The colour of her face deepened and she turned her attention to the books in her bag. Harry smiled in amusement and grabbed his quill again.
"I don't blame you, Quietus," he heard the girl's voice just as he began to write again. He lifted his head in surprise.
"What?"
"I don't blame you. I've heard what Ron was saying to you every day. Perhaps I would have done the same if I were you..."
"I... see," Harry gulped. "However, you seemed to agree with the other Gryffindors for weeks."
Hermione blushed again.
"Er... I think I was a little mad at you."
"Oh, you didn't like Ron's new face, did you?"
Hermione smiled and shrugged.
"Have you read the Transfiguration?" she suddenly changed topic.
Harry nodded.
"I began to take notes just now."
"You know I didn't understand one part of it..."
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The next weeks weren't eventful. Harry formed a working daily routine for himself. It contained a lot of sitting in the library, but at least he was sitting there with Hermione - and this was certainly a Ron-free place as well. The red-haired boy didn't seem to take the upcoming exams to his heart. Hermione had once confessed to Harry that she had been tutoring him every evening after dinner - he spent the afternoons at the quidditch field practising first for the tryouts, and after he had been chosen to be keeper of the Gryffindor team he had been practising with the others.
The new seeker of the Gryffindor house was Seamus, to Harry's great astonishment. He had never suspected the boy to be able fly after all... The first match of the season would be the Slytherin-Gryffindor match the day after Halloween, so Ron and the other players had decided to train themselves as hard as they could and Harry had even asked Severus to be a little less hard on them.
"Even Ron?" Severus asked curiously.
"Yeah," Harry muttered.
"But he doesn't deserve it!" Severus was appalled.
"I know, but, please, do it for my sake! After that match you can do anything you want with him."
Severus' eyes twinkled.
"Anything?"
"Well then: don't kill him. But until then leave him alone."
"So you want the Slytherins to lose the match." Severus folded his arms.
"You can be easier on them too." Harry shrugged
"No, I can't. I'm too easy now."
"Oh, so you are aware of it!"
"Of course I am!" Severus snored indignantly. "I am biased and I'm very well aware of it!"
After their little conversation Severus really had been easier on Ron, however, the boy still had harassed Harry whenever he could.
Harry did his best to avoid any meeting with him. He had other problems to resolve anyway.
These were: the potion for Lupin and defence lessons. After Severus had discovered his new obsession with sitting in the library he had appointed a task for him: he had to do research on werewolves. Severus had been struggling to find the appropriate potion for Lupin's illness, but he couldn't - so he had decided to share the work with Harry: Harry had to skim through books about werewolves while Severus searched in his own potions books.
After a week Harry sensed that he had got to knew more about werewolves than even Lupin himself, but he hadn't found any solution.
"What are you doing?" Hermione asked once when he was leafing through an immense tome.
"Research about werewolves. Seve... my father's orders," he added the second half as he saw Hermione's puzzled look.
"Why? Is it about professor Lupin?" she suddenly stopped. "Oh, you certainly don't know him..."
"Calm down, I know him," Harry interrupted. "And yes, father is searching for a potion for his illness."
"Yeah," Hermione mumbled quizzically. "But I thought..." she didn't continue,
"You thought that they hate each other, didn't you?" and when Hermione nodded in consent Harry added grinning. "Well, they dislike each other at the very most. But they made peace in the summer."
"You mean your father and professor Lupin?"
Harry leaned closer to her.
"Calm down, Hermione, not just father and Lupin, but even father and Sirius Black made peace."
Her pupils dilated in obvious shock.
"WHAT?"
"You heard me. And he is living at Snape Manor now." Harry leaned back.
"He believes Snape..." Hermione muttered in awe.
"Hey, Hermione," Harry's voice snapped her out of his daze. "I'm a Snape too..."
"Oh, sorry. It's just... too strange."
"Perhaps Ron is wrong," Harry added teasingly, but Hermione took it seriously.
"It's not perhaps. It's sure."
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"Defend yourself, Snape!" Mrs Figg's voice sounded impatiently. "Now!"
But as the curse shot from her wand Harry was unable to move or to speak. He was just staring at it with a blank mind, in a panic-like state.
As the curse hit him, he tottered back and fell onto the floor.
Laughter snapped out in the room. Harry blushed as he sat up, his head dizzy because of the unlucky fall. He shook his head as he stood up struggling to clear it before the next try.
It was the tenth occasion in a row that day, and Mrs Figg seemed not to notice that Harry's reaction became worse and worse after every try. For now he had totally lost his self-assurance, and he felt like he was in the Main Hall of Nightmare Manor after some rounds of torture. He lifted his wand to his face. It was his father's, but it didn't protect him without the proper words.
Harry could say the words; however, he couldn't use his mind in the proper way. He was petrified by the idea of being cursed and he felt impotent in front of his teacher.
"So, Mr Snape, if you are not able to conjure that shield, I teach you a painful lesson to do it. I warn you: I'm going to cast a short but painful curse on you and I expect you to shield it. If you won't, it will hurt."
Harry nodded dumbly. How beautiful! A little tormenting curse - just what he needed!
He lifted his wand again.
"Clipeus!" he cried desperately as the professor shouted "Tormento!" at the same time.
The curse took Harry off guard. In the moment he heard the name of the hated curse, his will went weak and he lowered his hand waiting for the pain as bravely as he could. When it hit him, he didn't open his mouth, he didn't shriek, he held it standing erect, his fingers turned white as he clenched his wand in pain. It seemed a lifetime when she finally removed the curse from him.
Harry could see the teacher's amazed look as she stared at him wordlessly. He bowed to her, took his bag and left the classroom without saying a word.
That was enough.
Tormenta. Cast on a student for pedagogical purposes.
No. Not any more.
He had never complained to Severus about her, but now he had felt enough.
He had held the tormenting curses for too long to support them even now.
But just as he arrived at their quarters and shut the door behind himself he collapsed onto the floor unconscious.
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Chapter 5 - Book-worm
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"Are you here again?"
Harry lifted his head from the Charms book, which he was reading and Ares went on.
"Aren't you ready to call it quits?"
Harry yawned and looked at the boy standing next to HIS table in the library. He loved this desk, this place, hidden in the rear of the immense book-hall, a little, safe-looking, cosy nook, in the 'Arabic mysticism' section. Harry was convinced that nobody in the building was interested in either Arabic or mysticism, and he hadn't been wrong. He was sheltered here. There was even a window giving the correct amount of light for reading and writing. Harry stretched himself and glanced at his watch. It was almost dinner time. He cast a look out the window and saw that there was darkness outside - it wasn't strange considering the fact that it was the last week of September. He smiled lightly and closed the book with a determinate move.
"Yes, I think it's over for today."
Ares shook his head amusingly.
"Have you been studying here since the end of the last lesson?"
Harry began to put his parchments into his bag.
"Oh, no. First I went home to pick up my books..." he waved his hand dismissively. Ares smirked.
"Of course. It would have been very hard to study without them," he winked at Harry, then he sat down in front of him. "Were you always studying so much?"
Harry cast a thoughtful look at him.
"No. But now as I'm here and everybody is waiting for me to be worthy of my family's damned reputation I feel I have no other choice. And on the other hand... I don't know what to do in my free time," he confessed finally.
"Uh... you say that you weren't able to find something interesting except for studying?"
"Is it so unbelievable?"
"Quite."
Harry laughed a little bitterly. Some weeks ago he would have thought the same.
"Let's go then. I'm pretty bored here."
"Are you?" Ares seemed surprised.
"Of course. I'm not as keen on studying as I seem," Harry shook his head mimicking annoyance. "But, on the other hand, what would my father say if I were lurking round the school playing stupid pranks instead of being the best student of my year?"
"Well, that is the main reason I'm glad my father doesn't work here, in the school..."
Harry rolled his eyes in return. However, he wasn't really upset that Severus worked and lived in the same building as him. On the contrary.
And most of all after THOSE events...
Harry shuddered as he thought of that afternoon during the second week of school. He had been walking to the library to do the homework when Ron had stopped him in an empty hallway.
Harry hadn't been surprised. Severus had acted terribly in potions class and he had taken more than fifty points from the Gryffindor. Indeed, all of them from Ron. He had had a good reason to do it: Ron had sabotaged his own potion, turned Malfoy's cauldron over and, in the end he cast a Filibuster firework into Harry's, which had exploded sending Neville into the Infirmary for a few days. Harry had gotten away unharmed, because he had leaned over to pick up some fallen ingredients, but Neville... He looked awful.
Severus had been mad. His black eyes had been glittering with wrath as he had carefully removed the points. And then he had shocked both houses by escorting the petrified Neville to the Infirmary personally.
So, Ron had stopped him. Harry had suspected in that very moment, that nothing good would happen. He had been right. Ron had begun their conversation by calling Harry names (his favourite was 'Sly' or 'filthy Sly', sometimes 'greasy Sly', however, Harry's hair wasn't greasy unlike Severus' - well, he had never spent as much time with potions as him). In reality Harry couldn't understand his way of thinking and acting. He had never committed anything against him, on the contrary, he had been trying to earn his friendship - and after the first days his neutrality, Harry had never replied his insults and offences... Even then he first had tried to ignore him and his sharp and hurting remarks and to remain friendly nevertheless. His efforts had infuriated Ron more than anything. Finally he had become more brutal than ever. He had spat at Harry's face that he wasn't anything but a little filthy Slytherin, a future servant of the Dark Lord, a murderer, like his father - and at this point Harry couldn't help but punch him in face breaking his nose. He had regretted it in an instant - but it had been done.
Harry could handle everything except for hurting Severus. No. He didn't deserved to be hurt, called a murderer... So he had broken Ron's nose. The red-haired boy had been sitting on the floor holding his bleeding nose in his hand, a strange, stunned expression on his face - Harry had been just about to help him stand and go to the infirmary, but of course, at that moment McGonagall had appeared in the empty corridor.
Harry winced at the memory. McGonagall standing between them, turning her gaze from one to the other... She hadn't asked anything; just helped Ron to his feet sending him to Madam Pomfrey and then the stern professor had brought Harry to Dumbledore's office.
There hadn't been any witnesses to this event, just Ron's bleeding and broken nose had testified that Harry was a monster just like his father. Dumbledore then had sent McGonagall away and had questioned him about the quarrel. Harry, however, had refused to say a word, just had stood there in a stubborn silence, his eyes fixed to the floor, until Severus had come and had brought him home.
Harry hadn't wanted to tell him the story, but he had insisted and pressed him, so finally he had given up and despite the fact that he had been aware of the consequences of his eloquence, he had told Severus almost the whole story. Except for Ron's final remark about him as a murderer.
It had been a mistake.
The day after Severus had been so terrible towards Ron that even the Slytherins had been appalled by his fury. And, of course, the whole school had summarized that Harry and Severus were just the same - like father like son. Harry, the monster had broken his classmate's nose and his biased father had punished the victim instead of his responsible son.
Since then Harry had been more a loner than ever before. He was still angry with Severus, but he could totally understand his reaction. Severus hadn't been worse than him, when he had broken Ron's nose.
Since then his relationship with the Gryffindors had been pretty cold and mostly formal, even with Neville who didn't want to fight with his whole house for a Snape, and most of the teachers seemed to be disappointed in him too. McGonagall, Flitwick, Vector... Figg's hatred towards him had increased as well.
Then Harry had retreated to the library. His studies kept his mind away from the disturbing and painful memories and present events; they allowed him to enter another world, in which he could feel free, free of expectations, prejudices, hatred and nightmares.
After that fateful quarrel he hadn't even tried to sleep alone for days. He had felt ridiculous as he had climbed Severus' bed and had curled next to him, but he couldn't have helped it. He had needed his help, his presence. He had felt so awfully alone...
Everything seemed to turn out wrong and always worse than before.
"Hey, mate!" Ares' voice snapped him out of his dark thoughts. "What's the problem?"
Harry shrugged.
"The same as always."
"Stupid Gryffindors?"
Harry curved his lips to a mocked smile.
"It was Weasley, wasn't he? Does he have to poke his broken nose into everybody's business?"
"Let's go to have dinner," Harry changed the topic. "I'm dying of hunger."
And this was a flat out lie too. He and hunger! Ridiculous. Ares eyed him questioningly.
"Quietus, don't be stupid. You're never hungry. Is there something wrong?"
It was the tone of a worrying friend. Harry looked at him. He wanted to tell him everything, to open up to him, but no. He was Ares NOTT of people and his father was one of his tormenters two months ago, a Death Eater - so he wasn't allowed to befriend him.
He lowered his glance to the floor and gulped.
"Nothing."
Harry was sure it would take a little time and then even Ares would leave him. Harry's constant rejection of his worry and friendship would push him away surely.
"But... thanks for worrying about me," Harry added unable to push him away totally.
They faced the Great Hall.
"And what about your day?" Harry asked.
"Nothing interesting. A little fight with Malfoy, who was babbling something stupid about You-Know-Who's return and the Slytherins' duty," Ares shrugged. "The same as always. Stupid little prat. I'm a Slytherin, not a criminal!"
Harry gaped at him in shock. But his father... No. It couldn't be true. It seemed Ares really wasn't aware of his father's 'preferences'. Harry was about to open his mouth when a sudden movement from a corner caught his eyes. He waved to Ares and both went silent. Somebody was there. Harry's hand was searching for his wand in his belt...
But he didn't need it. It was Ron and Hermione. In a very... strange situation. Harry's eyes widened in surprise as he grabbed Ares' arm and dragged him away as fast as he could.
"Hey, did you know it?" Ares laughed just as they were out of earshot. "Gryffindor's little know-it-all dating the stupid Weasley?"
Harry forced a smile, but inside he felt... disillusioned. And more loneliness that even before. However, he didn't understand, why. He didn't want to date Hermione - and he was jealous nonetheless. Jealous of their relationship. And he was locked out now, so totally...
"Hey, Ares, I... I need to go home now," he said suddenly.
Ares cast a thoughtful look at him.
"Do you like the Granger girl?" he asked in sympathy.
Harry shook his head.
"No, just..." what should he say? "I want to go home," he said again and turning around left Ares behind. As he was far enough not to be seen he began to run frantically. He was very grateful that Severus was in the Great Hall having dinner with the rest of the school, and after he would have a meeting with the Headmaster. He wanted to be alone. To be left alone.
As he reached their quarters and got inside, threw his bag on the sofa and lay on the floor on his stomach on his favourite carpet just in front of the fireplace, leaned his head on his elbow and stared blankly at the flames. He didn't cry. Just lay there in pain. He was alone.
He would have been so happy with their relationship as Harry Potter! But as Quietus Snape he suddenly realized that the chance to befriend them again had passed away, perhaps forever.
From now on he had to live Quietus Snape's life instead of Harry Potter's.
But he didn't want it. He wanted his old life back. But no. It was over once and for all.
But... how could he live another life? He was the same, wasn't he? And why didn't anybody notice it?
Or... no. He wasn't the same. He was a silent, strange boy with phobias, which were pretty well known now to the majority of his classmates. And the prejudices did their wonderful work too. He was expected to be the mean Snape's son, so he was. Not in reality, just in their mind, but it was the same.
So?
Who was he? He covered his face with his palms.
His constant question since he had left Severus' quarters with his changed features one and a half months ago.
But now, he had to find the answer once and for all.
He sank in thought. Undeniably he was Quietus Snape. His father was Quietus Snape, his mother was Lily Evans, and his stepfather was James Potter. That was clear. He had been living Harry Potter's life for almost fifteen years. All his past was Harry Potter's past, his friends were Potter's friends - his feelings and memories were Potter's too. Even their common captivity with Severus was Potter's, not his. He, as Quietus had no past.
But in spite of Potter he had future. Everything was now in his hand. Everything to begin a new life - except for one thing: his feelings. He still felt like Harry. And that played a more important part in his life than he had ever suspected.
He still couldn't consider Quietus Snape his father, however, he respected the man characterised many times by Severus. He was all too distant. But Severus - he smiled as he thought of him. Severus had changed. He wasn't as mean and cruel as he used to be even in the lessons; however, it remained unnoticed by many students. And he was something like a father for him. Harry had never told him that he felt that way. He wasn't sure if Severus would be happy to hear it or not. Harry knew well how much he loved his brother. Perhaps he would become sad to hear that. Yes, Harry didn't think of him as a stepfather. He was about to become a real father in every sense of the word in Harry's mind.
But were his feelings towards Severus enough to begin a new life? Especially if it turned out that he wasn't his son, but his brother's... Then would he have to begin a new life again? Harry shuddered.
LIES!
He hated those lies!
Lies with words and lies with silence, like when he had broken Ron's nose. It was him, who hadn't said a word against Ron, however, his punishment would have been easier... He had spent two whole afternoons to clean up the owlery without magic.
And Ron had been laughing at him when he had found out.
Harry shuddered again.
Then he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Quiet?"
It was Severus.
"You have to be at the meeting," Harry said matter-of-factly.
"I excused myself when I saw that you weren't in the Hall."
Harry nodded, his face still covered by his hands.
"So you won't leave me alone again."
"Precisely."
"Wonderful."
Harry refused to look at him. He stared at the flames through the holes between his fingers. Severus lay next to him.
"So?"
"Nothing."
"Have you eaten anything at all?"
"For lunch. And some apples in the library."
"You are still too thin."
"I don't care."
"Was it Weasley?"
"No. And yes."
"Harassing?"
"Kissing."
"WHAT?"
Harry turned onto his back and laughed.
"Not me, oh, almighty Potions Master. He was kissing Hermione."
Severus was taken aback.
"And then?" he croaked finally.
"Nothing," Harry shrugged.
"But... is it enough reason not to have dinner?"
"Sometimes I wonder how could you be one of the best students in this school."
"Impertinent prat."
"Stupid adult."
Severus suddenly looked at him seriously.
"Do you like Hermione?"
Harry waved his hand, stood up and sat on the sofa. Severus sat on the chair face-to-face with him.
"Good god! You, guys are all the same!"
"What?"
"Ares asked me the same thing. But my answer is: no. I'm not in love with her. I just realized that I can never be their friend," Harry explained.
"Why?"
"Use your head, Severus!" Harry cried impatiently.
"I try. But I was teenager so long ago. I don't have exact memories of that period," Severus looked at him. "However, I'm quite sure that their relationship won't reduce your chance to befriend them again."
"Well, I'm quite sure that it will," Harry replied. "And I realized that I have to live my life."
"I don't understand."
"I have to live Quietus' life instead of Harry's. Is it clear?"
Severus sighed.
"Not at all."
"Well, then I will try to explain it. Look. I'm really Quietus Snape. Yes, I was really Harry too, but that period is over, perhaps forever. So I have to order my things in life that I will live my life as Quietus Snape. Anyway, I will never be THAT Harry Potter again. Indeed. I think I will never be a Potter again. Is it clear?"
The man nodded. Harry smiled slightly.
"Finally."
A quiet knocking interrupted the conversation.
"Come in!" Severus said.
"Good evening!" Dumbledore smiled them, but his eyes were serious. "I hope I'm not disturbing."
"No, Albus. Sit down, please. Tea?" When the old man nodded, Severus ordered tea with a short wave of his wand. "So?"
"The Ministry decided to take the first steps in the war."
Severus leaned forward.
"What do they want...?"
"Tomorrow a dozen of Aurors will come to examine the students. And they will repeat their examination monthly."
Severus almost collapsed back.
"Oh, no." His hands clinched into fists. "Bloody hell..."
Harry looked at him worried.
"What's the problem, Severus?"
But it wasn't Severus who answered his question.
"They will focus on Severus' house, and on you," Dumbledore's voice was silent and tired.
Harry got frightened.
"What?" he cried. "How will they examine me?"
"They will check your forearm and they will question you," the Headmaster said. "Please, roll up your sleeve, Harry."
"Quietus, sir," Harry corrected him quietly and rolled his sleeve up.
His forearm was free of any marks, but wasn't free of Avery's cuts. The smooth skin was criss-crossed by them. They began to fade with the time, but the deeper ones were still rose.
"If they see it, they will ask you what these are."
"I will say I had an accident," Harry shrugged. "A car crash, for example."
"Right. And if they want to know anything about your life before this summer, you should send them to Severus. You can tell them only the very basic parts of the story."
Harry nodded.
"And, Quiet, you have to get prepared that they won't handle you kindly," Severus said sadly. "They will ask you a lot of questions about me and your loyalties and they will consider you a dark wizard even if you state the opposite..."
"Because I'm your son, isn't it?"
It was Dumbledore, who answered the question.
"Yes and no, Quietus. All the Slytherins will be examined thoroughly and every child, who have er... let me say this way: suspicious family members."
"Do you mean the children of the Death Eaters?"
"Not only the children. Every family member is suspected..."
"Idiocy..." muttered Harry under his breath. "But they know of Severus that he isn't a Death Eater any more..."
None of the adults answered. When Harry looked at Severus, he cleared his throat in nervousness.
"I don't think so, Harry. If they believed me, they would have already declared Black innocent."
Harry's eyes widened in astonishment.
"But you said they questioned you with Veritaserum..." he mumbled confused.
Severus just waved his hand in resignation.
"Veritaserum... they don't believe their own serums either."
"But then... what if they won't believe me? My story? Will they bring me to the Ministry to..."
"No, Quietus. I won't let you be taken away from here," Dumbledore said calmingly. "But tomorrow you have to be very, very careful. They will throw a Revelo spell on you to examine your arm, and if they catch that famous scar of yours..."
Harry froze.
"Oh, no..." he mumbled and reached his hand to his forehead. His fingers trembled.
"And they will see the cuts on your neck too," Severus added quietly. "You have to wear your turtleneck sweater, if you didn't want them to be seen."
"Headmaster, did you say that they will come in every month?" Harry turned to the old man.
"Probably. I don't remember correctly. It was almost fifteen years ago the last time they came."
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Harry could feel as strong hands grabbed his shoulder and motioned him towards the entrance of the school.
"So, you were here all the time, Mr Potter," an Auror said, who was very similar to Moody, but was much younger, and crueller.
Harry uttered a cry of pain as the hands tightened their grip on him.
"Don't try to escape, you can't, believe me," the man was smiling at him with an ugly, evil smirk, and Harry felt panic raising in him.
"But... But I didn't do anything," he stuttered in fear. "I just..."
"You killed Cedric Diggory and tricked the Ministry with your death to continue your work for You-Know-Who with your filthy father's help... You aren't even Potter's son! What a shame! If the wizarding world will know the truth about their famous hero and his slut of a mother..."
"No... my mum..."
"And we heard about your little quarrel with Mr Weasley who suspected you, and your agressive reaction to his sincere questions."
"He didn't ask me questions! He called me names and hurt Severus..."
"And you tried to beat him, perhaps even kill him..."
"No, I..."
"It was lucky that professor McGonagall came and saved the boy's life from your attack!"
"No! That's not the true, he..."
"Silence, Mr Potter - or should I say Mr Snape?"
Harry felt tears of fear in his eyes as they reached the main entrance of the school. Soon, they would leave, to go to the Ministry's dungeons and he would be tortured again...
"No..."
He didn't want to leave the school. Why didn't Dumbledore come and save him?
"No..."
The big, brown doors opened. The man pushed Harry through them.
"NOOOO!" he cried as he fell to the floor, his eyes shut tightly.
"Harry, Harry, wake up..." he heard Severus' voice suddenly from above.
"Severus, don't let me be taken to the Ministry," he cried. "Call Dumbledore, please!"
"Harry, open your eyes. You are at home. Nobody wants to take you away," Harry could feel Severus' arms sneaking around him and holding him tightly. "Shh... you're safe. You're at home with me."
Harry relaxed slowly.
"What's the time?" he asked after he regained his composure.
"It's 5 a.m. You're a little early today," he smiled at Harry who nestled himself tightly into his chest.
"I don't want to be questioned. Can you be with me there?" Harry mumbled into Severus' nightshirt.
"No, Harry. You have to do it alone. And I will have to care for the other children too..."
"Your Slytherins?" Harry gulped as he asked it.
"Yes. I think they will need my support after it."
"I see," Harry said and tried to sat up. "Now can you let me go to the bathroom?" he asked in mock irritation. "You pamper me. If the others knew that the good old Potions Master is hugging and comforting Harry Potter every now and then, they would die from serious breathing problems."
"Let them die in peace. I won't let you go until you calm down."
"And what about my needs? I can't calm down if you don't let me go to the loo."
"Stupid Potter. Go then."
"I'm not a Potter, Snape. And I'm not even a Harry. I'm Quiet, your son, can't you remember, DAD?" It was so good to say this word even if it was just a game...
"Geh... MY son... well," Severus smirked. "You are more similar to me than Quietus..."
"Oh, no," Harry shook his head in panic. "I'm not like you!" he stuck his tongue at Severus and left running.
***************************************************************************
Harry stared blankly at his Advanced Transfiguration book in his hand. He had read that page for the fifth time, but he still couldn't recall a word of it.
He sighed and put the book down to the table. It didn't work. He was still too worked up and nervous, but he knew that Severus had to deal with his students too, and he had to wait for the evening or pehaps for the night to share his experiences with him.
In reality the questioning hadn't been as bad as he had thought before, however, he had often reached to his forehead and smoothed his hair to the revealed scar. But no Auror had wanted to cast a look at his forehead, they had examined only his forearms, both of them, and while they had surely noticed the cuts they hadn't mentioned it.
The questions had been simple and quick about his loyalties and when Harry had told them that he had been raised by his muggle grandparents and his muggle mother they had let the topic fall and had sent him out in five minutes.
As soon as Harry had gotten out, he had pulled out his wand and had recast the glamouries on all his scars and cuts. Fortunately no one had seemed to watch him.
Harry couldn't understand their behaviour. Why had they been so easy on him, Severus Snape's, the ex-Death Eater's son? He dreaded the answer. Perhaps they had already had their proof against him to take him away whenever they wanted. This idea seemed a little bit paranoid, but Harry couldn't help. He WAS paranoid, wasn't he?
He forced his look again at the Transfiguration book and concentrated hard.
'In order to transfigure a magical creature into another magical one, we should know the exact way its - their - magic works. The transfiguration of one kind of magic into another is one of the most difficult parts of Transfiguration studies...'
And so on.
It was extremelly boring. And this was only the first page. Out of fifteen they had to read in two days. And there was the Potions essay on the use of hippogriffs' features in healing potions and another essay on the dark wizards in the 19th century for professor Binns for the next week. As the OWLs came closer every teacher became more meticulous and stern than ever. Even Severus and McGonagall were able to render their expectations stricter, however, Harry and his mates had never considered them to be loose.
He inhaled deeply and began to scribble the notes on the parchment when he heard somebody stopping at his desk. He lifted his head angrily. Ares came in the worst moment of all, when he finally managed to understand the blasted chapter!
But it was not Ares. It was Hermione, seemingly embarrassed.
"Hello, Quietus. Would you mind if I sit here? The other tables are occupied..."
Harry couldn't help but snap irritated.
"If my presence doesn't disturb you, you may stay here," he said and turned his glance to his notes again, but he was suddenly too nervous to pay attention. Damn it!
"Why did you say that?" Hermione asked after she sat down.
"What?" Harry barked angrily.
"That stupidity about your presence."
"I've broken your precious boyfriend's nose, don't you remember?" Harry leaned back and crossed his arms.
Hermione's face turned into a bright red colour.
"How do you know about that?" she asked hoarsely.
Harry shrugged.
"I've seen you kissing in a corridor," he stated.
The colour of her face deepened and she turned her attention to the books in her bag. Harry smiled in amusement and grabbed his quill again.
"I don't blame you, Quietus," he heard the girl's voice just as he began to write again. He lifted his head in surprise.
"What?"
"I don't blame you. I've heard what Ron was saying to you every day. Perhaps I would have done the same if I were you..."
"I... see," Harry gulped. "However, you seemed to agree with the other Gryffindors for weeks."
Hermione blushed again.
"Er... I think I was a little mad at you."
"Oh, you didn't like Ron's new face, did you?"
Hermione smiled and shrugged.
"Have you read the Transfiguration?" she suddenly changed topic.
Harry nodded.
"I began to take notes just now."
"You know I didn't understand one part of it..."
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The next weeks weren't eventful. Harry formed a working daily routine for himself. It contained a lot of sitting in the library, but at least he was sitting there with Hermione - and this was certainly a Ron-free place as well. The red-haired boy didn't seem to take the upcoming exams to his heart. Hermione had once confessed to Harry that she had been tutoring him every evening after dinner - he spent the afternoons at the quidditch field practising first for the tryouts, and after he had been chosen to be keeper of the Gryffindor team he had been practising with the others.
The new seeker of the Gryffindor house was Seamus, to Harry's great astonishment. He had never suspected the boy to be able fly after all... The first match of the season would be the Slytherin-Gryffindor match the day after Halloween, so Ron and the other players had decided to train themselves as hard as they could and Harry had even asked Severus to be a little less hard on them.
"Even Ron?" Severus asked curiously.
"Yeah," Harry muttered.
"But he doesn't deserve it!" Severus was appalled.
"I know, but, please, do it for my sake! After that match you can do anything you want with him."
Severus' eyes twinkled.
"Anything?"
"Well then: don't kill him. But until then leave him alone."
"So you want the Slytherins to lose the match." Severus folded his arms.
"You can be easier on them too." Harry shrugged
"No, I can't. I'm too easy now."
"Oh, so you are aware of it!"
"Of course I am!" Severus snored indignantly. "I am biased and I'm very well aware of it!"
After their little conversation Severus really had been easier on Ron, however, the boy still had harassed Harry whenever he could.
Harry did his best to avoid any meeting with him. He had other problems to resolve anyway.
These were: the potion for Lupin and defence lessons. After Severus had discovered his new obsession with sitting in the library he had appointed a task for him: he had to do research on werewolves. Severus had been struggling to find the appropriate potion for Lupin's illness, but he couldn't - so he had decided to share the work with Harry: Harry had to skim through books about werewolves while Severus searched in his own potions books.
After a week Harry sensed that he had got to knew more about werewolves than even Lupin himself, but he hadn't found any solution.
"What are you doing?" Hermione asked once when he was leafing through an immense tome.
"Research about werewolves. Seve... my father's orders," he added the second half as he saw Hermione's puzzled look.
"Why? Is it about professor Lupin?" she suddenly stopped. "Oh, you certainly don't know him..."
"Calm down, I know him," Harry interrupted. "And yes, father is searching for a potion for his illness."
"Yeah," Hermione mumbled quizzically. "But I thought..." she didn't continue,
"You thought that they hate each other, didn't you?" and when Hermione nodded in consent Harry added grinning. "Well, they dislike each other at the very most. But they made peace in the summer."
"You mean your father and professor Lupin?"
Harry leaned closer to her.
"Calm down, Hermione, not just father and Lupin, but even father and Sirius Black made peace."
Her pupils dilated in obvious shock.
"WHAT?"
"You heard me. And he is living at Snape Manor now." Harry leaned back.
"He believes Snape..." Hermione muttered in awe.
"Hey, Hermione," Harry's voice snapped her out of his daze. "I'm a Snape too..."
"Oh, sorry. It's just... too strange."
"Perhaps Ron is wrong," Harry added teasingly, but Hermione took it seriously.
"It's not perhaps. It's sure."
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"Defend yourself, Snape!" Mrs Figg's voice sounded impatiently. "Now!"
But as the curse shot from her wand Harry was unable to move or to speak. He was just staring at it with a blank mind, in a panic-like state.
As the curse hit him, he tottered back and fell onto the floor.
Laughter snapped out in the room. Harry blushed as he sat up, his head dizzy because of the unlucky fall. He shook his head as he stood up struggling to clear it before the next try.
It was the tenth occasion in a row that day, and Mrs Figg seemed not to notice that Harry's reaction became worse and worse after every try. For now he had totally lost his self-assurance, and he felt like he was in the Main Hall of Nightmare Manor after some rounds of torture. He lifted his wand to his face. It was his father's, but it didn't protect him without the proper words.
Harry could say the words; however, he couldn't use his mind in the proper way. He was petrified by the idea of being cursed and he felt impotent in front of his teacher.
"So, Mr Snape, if you are not able to conjure that shield, I teach you a painful lesson to do it. I warn you: I'm going to cast a short but painful curse on you and I expect you to shield it. If you won't, it will hurt."
Harry nodded dumbly. How beautiful! A little tormenting curse - just what he needed!
He lifted his wand again.
"Clipeus!" he cried desperately as the professor shouted "Tormento!" at the same time.
The curse took Harry off guard. In the moment he heard the name of the hated curse, his will went weak and he lowered his hand waiting for the pain as bravely as he could. When it hit him, he didn't open his mouth, he didn't shriek, he held it standing erect, his fingers turned white as he clenched his wand in pain. It seemed a lifetime when she finally removed the curse from him.
Harry could see the teacher's amazed look as she stared at him wordlessly. He bowed to her, took his bag and left the classroom without saying a word.
That was enough.
Tormenta. Cast on a student for pedagogical purposes.
No. Not any more.
He had never complained to Severus about her, but now he had felt enough.
He had held the tormenting curses for too long to support them even now.
But just as he arrived at their quarters and shut the door behind himself he collapsed onto the floor unconscious.