Scott
27th January
It's long after midnight but I don't seem any nearer to getting any sleep, so I thought I might as well write some more of this wretched diary. God, this is hard work. It's all right for that brother of mine, words come easily to him - five books to his name and he's only just turned thirty. It's taken me half an hour just to write four lines. Writing it doesn't seem to be helping one bit, either. All it's doing is making me realise how confused I am. Managed to talk to John this afternoon while Dad was giving Virgil a thrashing at tennis. (How come it's always John we all go to when we have girl trouble?) Was trying to explain to him how I felt about Elizabeth - not very easy, because I don't understand it myself. Anyway John came up with the idea that the reason I feel differently about Elizabeth to how I've felt about other girls is because she's got me on my weak spot. The type of girl I'm usually attracted to - the ones at college, or in the Air Force - were all very confident, self-assured people. He says after taking care of my kid brothers for more than twenty years now, I've got what he calls a very well developed protective reflex. His theory is that Elizabeth is arousing that response., which is why it feels so different. All I know is that I just can't stop thinking about her - when I'm not with her I'm either thinking about conversations we had on my last visit to the hospital or planning when I can slip away to see her again.
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27th January
It's long after midnight but I don't seem any nearer to getting any sleep, so I thought I might as well write some more of this wretched diary. God, this is hard work. It's all right for that brother of mine, words come easily to him - five books to his name and he's only just turned thirty. It's taken me half an hour just to write four lines. Writing it doesn't seem to be helping one bit, either. All it's doing is making me realise how confused I am. Managed to talk to John this afternoon while Dad was giving Virgil a thrashing at tennis. (How come it's always John we all go to when we have girl trouble?) Was trying to explain to him how I felt about Elizabeth - not very easy, because I don't understand it myself. Anyway John came up with the idea that the reason I feel differently about Elizabeth to how I've felt about other girls is because she's got me on my weak spot. The type of girl I'm usually attracted to - the ones at college, or in the Air Force - were all very confident, self-assured people. He says after taking care of my kid brothers for more than twenty years now, I've got what he calls a very well developed protective reflex. His theory is that Elizabeth is arousing that response., which is why it feels so different. All I know is that I just can't stop thinking about her - when I'm not with her I'm either thinking about conversations we had on my last visit to the hospital or planning when I can slip away to see her again.
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