Disclaimer: You know, sometimes I think that fanfic authors spend more time
trying to come up with creative ways of saying "I own nothing" and artfully
cussing out suit-seeking lawyers than they do on the entire rest of their
works. At any rate, I own nothing. J'ai rien. Tengo nada. [If that's
right.] You get the point, right.
A/N: This is why the Internet is a scary thing. It lets the rest of the world see the fruit of boredom. This, like the prior essay, is written from the perspective of a witch/wizard writing for the Daily Prophet or like. They are not necessarily the same person, but whatever. On with the pointlessness.
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The Marvelous Magic of Muggle-Borns
What I am about to write will probably shock and outrage about a third of the magical population and satisfy another third. The remaining third will merely be confused at such an unorthodox perspective. This essay is not for the rigidly traditional or the, how shall I say it, more violently radical. Be you so warned, continue at your own risk.
The greatest magic is found in Muggle-Borns.
I trust that if you are continuing to read that means that you have not yet died of shock. Perhaps you are nodding your head in silent agreement. Perhaps you are brainstorming on how best to dispose of me. Perhaps you have already alerted Mungo's closed ward. I don't particularly care. I'm an essayist, not a politician.
Let me, however, assure you of two things. Firstly, I am not a Muggle- Born, nor am I a half-blood. I am a pureblood for four generations. Secondly, I have proof to back up my slightly absurd claim. You will see this below.
Muggle-Borns, because they spend the first eleven years of their lives being told that there is no such thing as magic, must reevaluate their reality before entering the wizarding community. In short, they must learn to believe in the impossible.
Believing in the impossible is one of the greatest assets one can have, whether a wand spins magic for you or not. Those who have once been forced to accept unreality will never again truly feel that anything is a permanent obstacle. What is unattainable today might become mundane in a few short years as long as we work to make it attainable. Progress cannot be made without the crazy dreams of men.
This theory, you might say, is all very well, but where is the proof? The proof is in your own history. Who is the greatest wizard of all time? Which name stands out not only as greatness, but as a pinnacle that no one may ever hope to achieve again? I hope that the name that reaches your mind is Merlin.
Merlin, you must remember, was raised by his mortal, read "Muggle," mother in the wilderness of the ancient forests of the world. He was not taught magic until later in his life, although the shrewdest of you will be quick to point out that, at that point, the Confederation of Wizarding Secrecy had not yet come into effect so he knew of it all his life. However, I hastened to add, he was not aware that he was a wizard, and so therefore he had his own reality to rewrite.
I think that the rest of his life is well-enough known to warrant the bypassing of further words. Moving on, we come to our next subject. Again, I ask those of you who are rather attached to orthodoxy to bear with me.
Voldemort may well be counted as a Muggle-Born for the sake of this essay.
I hope, once again, that everyone has started to breathe once more, whether you stopped at the sight of the "horrid" name on paper or at the "incredible insult" to your master's character. Let me explain myself, once more.
Voldemort, a.k.a. Tom Riddle, spent his first eleven years in a Muggle orphanage. Therefore, the letter from Hogwarts, being borne by an owl which, the majority of us would agree, should have been shot on sight, came as a complete surprise and introduced him to the wizarding world.
Again, the past, and hopefully neither the present nor future, speaks for itself.
I am the first to admit that two cases does not a theorem make, but, for the sake of the length of this column, I will merely list a few other instances.
Harry James Potter, for all intents and purposes a Muggle-Born, will hopefully become an even greater wizard than his past exploits have already showed him to be (archived articles by this paper nullified).
Lily Evans Potter, Muggle-Born, was, obviously, mother of the aforementioned. Not only did her prowess give her a formidable reputation during her life, but she invoked old magic at her death to save her son, and therefore the world.
Hermione Granger, a Muggle-Born, is a name you are probably not familiar with, but you will be. Just look up her O.W.L. scores. According to some of her examiners, "O" was not nearly enough. Incidentally, she is one of Harry Potter's best friends, and Witch Weekly's article about her was complete libel.
Alice Longbottom, Muggle-Born, deserved the title great. You are familiar with her name.
I believe that, even if this does not sway you, it will have to suffice. My editor is poised over me with a red pen to cross out half of these paragraphs, and I do not look forward to the slaughter of my work.
One last point I give you. Naturally, Albus Dumbledore is both the greatest wizard of our time and a pureblood.
Sometimes, dreams of crazy men work just as well. Dumbledore has certainly proven this beyond a shadow of a doubt. I hereby grant him honorary Muggle-Born status.
The sooner we realize that Muggle-Borns have the possibility to show us paths through stone, the sooner we rid our world of Dark Lords. This pointless prejudice results in death on all sides.
Perhaps, though, it will take a Muggle-Born to bring it about. After all, to some, it seems impossible.
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A/N: I know it's stupid, but I am so bored. All the other kids are back in school, and I still have like two weeks and There. Is. Nothing. To. Do. So, if you want to appraise my insanity or stupidity, please review. Actually, review anyway!
A/N: This is why the Internet is a scary thing. It lets the rest of the world see the fruit of boredom. This, like the prior essay, is written from the perspective of a witch/wizard writing for the Daily Prophet or like. They are not necessarily the same person, but whatever. On with the pointlessness.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
The Marvelous Magic of Muggle-Borns
What I am about to write will probably shock and outrage about a third of the magical population and satisfy another third. The remaining third will merely be confused at such an unorthodox perspective. This essay is not for the rigidly traditional or the, how shall I say it, more violently radical. Be you so warned, continue at your own risk.
The greatest magic is found in Muggle-Borns.
I trust that if you are continuing to read that means that you have not yet died of shock. Perhaps you are nodding your head in silent agreement. Perhaps you are brainstorming on how best to dispose of me. Perhaps you have already alerted Mungo's closed ward. I don't particularly care. I'm an essayist, not a politician.
Let me, however, assure you of two things. Firstly, I am not a Muggle- Born, nor am I a half-blood. I am a pureblood for four generations. Secondly, I have proof to back up my slightly absurd claim. You will see this below.
Muggle-Borns, because they spend the first eleven years of their lives being told that there is no such thing as magic, must reevaluate their reality before entering the wizarding community. In short, they must learn to believe in the impossible.
Believing in the impossible is one of the greatest assets one can have, whether a wand spins magic for you or not. Those who have once been forced to accept unreality will never again truly feel that anything is a permanent obstacle. What is unattainable today might become mundane in a few short years as long as we work to make it attainable. Progress cannot be made without the crazy dreams of men.
This theory, you might say, is all very well, but where is the proof? The proof is in your own history. Who is the greatest wizard of all time? Which name stands out not only as greatness, but as a pinnacle that no one may ever hope to achieve again? I hope that the name that reaches your mind is Merlin.
Merlin, you must remember, was raised by his mortal, read "Muggle," mother in the wilderness of the ancient forests of the world. He was not taught magic until later in his life, although the shrewdest of you will be quick to point out that, at that point, the Confederation of Wizarding Secrecy had not yet come into effect so he knew of it all his life. However, I hastened to add, he was not aware that he was a wizard, and so therefore he had his own reality to rewrite.
I think that the rest of his life is well-enough known to warrant the bypassing of further words. Moving on, we come to our next subject. Again, I ask those of you who are rather attached to orthodoxy to bear with me.
Voldemort may well be counted as a Muggle-Born for the sake of this essay.
I hope, once again, that everyone has started to breathe once more, whether you stopped at the sight of the "horrid" name on paper or at the "incredible insult" to your master's character. Let me explain myself, once more.
Voldemort, a.k.a. Tom Riddle, spent his first eleven years in a Muggle orphanage. Therefore, the letter from Hogwarts, being borne by an owl which, the majority of us would agree, should have been shot on sight, came as a complete surprise and introduced him to the wizarding world.
Again, the past, and hopefully neither the present nor future, speaks for itself.
I am the first to admit that two cases does not a theorem make, but, for the sake of the length of this column, I will merely list a few other instances.
Harry James Potter, for all intents and purposes a Muggle-Born, will hopefully become an even greater wizard than his past exploits have already showed him to be (archived articles by this paper nullified).
Lily Evans Potter, Muggle-Born, was, obviously, mother of the aforementioned. Not only did her prowess give her a formidable reputation during her life, but she invoked old magic at her death to save her son, and therefore the world.
Hermione Granger, a Muggle-Born, is a name you are probably not familiar with, but you will be. Just look up her O.W.L. scores. According to some of her examiners, "O" was not nearly enough. Incidentally, she is one of Harry Potter's best friends, and Witch Weekly's article about her was complete libel.
Alice Longbottom, Muggle-Born, deserved the title great. You are familiar with her name.
I believe that, even if this does not sway you, it will have to suffice. My editor is poised over me with a red pen to cross out half of these paragraphs, and I do not look forward to the slaughter of my work.
One last point I give you. Naturally, Albus Dumbledore is both the greatest wizard of our time and a pureblood.
Sometimes, dreams of crazy men work just as well. Dumbledore has certainly proven this beyond a shadow of a doubt. I hereby grant him honorary Muggle-Born status.
The sooner we realize that Muggle-Borns have the possibility to show us paths through stone, the sooner we rid our world of Dark Lords. This pointless prejudice results in death on all sides.
Perhaps, though, it will take a Muggle-Born to bring it about. After all, to some, it seems impossible.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
A/N: I know it's stupid, but I am so bored. All the other kids are back in school, and I still have like two weeks and There. Is. Nothing. To. Do. So, if you want to appraise my insanity or stupidity, please review. Actually, review anyway!