JERRY SPRINGER KINGDOM HEARTS STYLE!
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN JERRY SPRINGER, OR A RAZOR FOR SHAVING, ALCOHOL, And A BOUNCER NAMED DAVID Griesemer.
Warning: any unauthorized copying of this script will result in us hunting you down and taking your left shoe!
Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
Jerry jumps out of a box in the audience wearing a nacho hat and drooling like a werewolf. He searches around for a victim. He jumps into the first row of the audience and grabs an innocent human being wearing an orange jacket. He shakes him viciously and he dies.
Kyle: OH MY GOD YOU KILLED KENNY! YOU (Censored)
Cartmen: oh mister snack man can I have some cheesy poufs?
Stan: Lets get him!
The audience all jump out of their seats and rampage jerry. Cartman jumps on his shoulders and starts to eat his hat. A young girl named Holly jumps onto a person who she thought was jerry and cuts him with her razor. She jumps off him realizing it's not Jerry but A BIG-BOUNCER-GUY-NAMED- DAVID.... Griesemer.
Holly: UH OH . IS this the time to run?
The audience and the talking camera: YIP
Holly (runs away the bouncer following her): I'll be back!
*****************5 minutes later*******************
Half the audience is gone but jerry goes to the stage. He straightens what little nacho hat he has left.
Jerry: Okay today we are here to find out who this fifteen-year-old's parent really is. We took local characters out of the game kingdom hearts that have the same color hair he has. You'll find out soon enough. But first we will review our interview with Maleificent. Here it is. *Everyone applauds*
Maleificent: Oh I hope that it's Ansem. I'm basically *AM* Riku's true mother. And one time me and Ansem went out and you know it turned out kind of kinky- oh you want me to read the cue card? Oh okay. Ummm (puts on reading glasses) Why should any of those (censored) be his father? They don't deserve him! I deserve him. He's like a son to me; I only want the best for him.
Riku (in the background): I highly doubt that
~End of clip~
Jerry: WHAT A (censored). Erm, I mean-
Talking camera (edging away from Cartman): *SWEAT DROP* Help me
Jerry: HAHAHA SHUT UP TALKING CAMERA
T.C: YOU'RE ALL BIG MEANIE HEADS! (Rolls away)
Jerry: Anyways lets bring out our guest. Let's give a big round of sound for. RIKU *he.doesn't.have.a.last.name.how.weird *
Fan girls (holding a big Riku sign saying "Take off you're shirt"): TAKE OFF YOU'RE SHIRT!
Jerry: Let's bring out his guardian MALEIFICENT!
Maleificent (comes out wearing prostitute clothing smoking a cigarette on one of those long cigarette holders): You little mongrels! PUT DOWN THOSE SIGNS! (She waves her hand and.)
Fan girls: O__________________O * ..::Explode::..*
Jerry: HAHA thank-you
Maleificent (has scratchy frog throat): No problem, babe (blows a kiss to him and he shudders)
Jerry: We have two very special guests that have-nothing-to-do-with-todays- show-only-the-author-is-doing-this-to-get-some-laughs. CLOUD AND TIFA! So cloud you're going out with Tifa? What happened to Aeries?
Cloud (wearing baggy gangster clothes and a upside down, backwards visor): Hey yo I hate that biatch!
Tifa: Yeah Cloud loves me and that biatch ain't got anything on her torso!
Cloud: Tifa I think that we should waste these two.....
Tifa: Cloud if we do that we would go to jail wouldn't we??? Wait a minute we're gangsters we don't care just like I don't care that Aries is dead.....I think its funny don't you, cloud? *Tifa starts laughing very hard*
Cloud: I used to love her, Tifa *thinks back to when they dated and gets tears in eyes* But then I started dating you and Aries is nothing compared to you.... Anyway back to wasting these people....
Cloud: Who should be wasted first Riku or Mila???
Tifa: I choose Riku....*gets taken down by bouncer*
Cloud: AAAAAHHHHH.....*Also taken down by bouncer*
Jerry: O-kay anyways. Our two people who we have chosen to be compatible for being Riku's fathers are: ANSEM! The almighty darkness lecturer that secretly likes Barbies and his hair is naturally white!
Ansem comes and sits down next to Maleificent, puts an arm around her and starts frenching her. The audience moans in disgust and one audience member throws up in the top of Jerry's nacho hat where the nacho dip is. Jerry starts laughing, braking off a bit of his hat and sticking it in the barf/nacho dip and he eats it.
Jerry (ponders): mm, tastes like vegetable soup. Anyways here is the torture- er, I mean verbal test we gave to Ansem to see if he's Riku's father.
END!!!!!!!!!!!
What ya people think? Review to let me know. Flames will be fed to the crazy killer monkey in my closet. Hey! I got to feed him something.. Next chapter will have the terks YEAH! REVIEW PLEAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSEEEE!!! I'll give you nacho dip. Don't worry it doesn't have throw-up in it. Oh yeah credits also go to my friend David for helping me with this ficcie.
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN JERRY SPRINGER, OR A RAZOR FOR SHAVING, ALCOHOL, And A BOUNCER NAMED DAVID Griesemer.
Warning: any unauthorized copying of this script will result in us hunting you down and taking your left shoe!
Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
Jerry jumps out of a box in the audience wearing a nacho hat and drooling like a werewolf. He searches around for a victim. He jumps into the first row of the audience and grabs an innocent human being wearing an orange jacket. He shakes him viciously and he dies.
Kyle: OH MY GOD YOU KILLED KENNY! YOU (Censored)
Cartmen: oh mister snack man can I have some cheesy poufs?
Stan: Lets get him!
The audience all jump out of their seats and rampage jerry. Cartman jumps on his shoulders and starts to eat his hat. A young girl named Holly jumps onto a person who she thought was jerry and cuts him with her razor. She jumps off him realizing it's not Jerry but A BIG-BOUNCER-GUY-NAMED- DAVID.... Griesemer.
Holly: UH OH . IS this the time to run?
The audience and the talking camera: YIP
Holly (runs away the bouncer following her): I'll be back!
*****************5 minutes later*******************
Half the audience is gone but jerry goes to the stage. He straightens what little nacho hat he has left.
Jerry: Okay today we are here to find out who this fifteen-year-old's parent really is. We took local characters out of the game kingdom hearts that have the same color hair he has. You'll find out soon enough. But first we will review our interview with Maleificent. Here it is. *Everyone applauds*
Maleificent: Oh I hope that it's Ansem. I'm basically *AM* Riku's true mother. And one time me and Ansem went out and you know it turned out kind of kinky- oh you want me to read the cue card? Oh okay. Ummm (puts on reading glasses) Why should any of those (censored) be his father? They don't deserve him! I deserve him. He's like a son to me; I only want the best for him.
Riku (in the background): I highly doubt that
~End of clip~
Jerry: WHAT A (censored). Erm, I mean-
Talking camera (edging away from Cartman): *SWEAT DROP* Help me
Jerry: HAHAHA SHUT UP TALKING CAMERA
T.C: YOU'RE ALL BIG MEANIE HEADS! (Rolls away)
Jerry: Anyways lets bring out our guest. Let's give a big round of sound for. RIKU *he.doesn't.have.a.last.name.how.weird *
Fan girls (holding a big Riku sign saying "Take off you're shirt"): TAKE OFF YOU'RE SHIRT!
Jerry: Let's bring out his guardian MALEIFICENT!
Maleificent (comes out wearing prostitute clothing smoking a cigarette on one of those long cigarette holders): You little mongrels! PUT DOWN THOSE SIGNS! (She waves her hand and.)
Fan girls: O__________________O * ..::Explode::..*
Jerry: HAHA thank-you
Maleificent (has scratchy frog throat): No problem, babe (blows a kiss to him and he shudders)
Jerry: We have two very special guests that have-nothing-to-do-with-todays- show-only-the-author-is-doing-this-to-get-some-laughs. CLOUD AND TIFA! So cloud you're going out with Tifa? What happened to Aeries?
Cloud (wearing baggy gangster clothes and a upside down, backwards visor): Hey yo I hate that biatch!
Tifa: Yeah Cloud loves me and that biatch ain't got anything on her torso!
Cloud: Tifa I think that we should waste these two.....
Tifa: Cloud if we do that we would go to jail wouldn't we??? Wait a minute we're gangsters we don't care just like I don't care that Aries is dead.....I think its funny don't you, cloud? *Tifa starts laughing very hard*
Cloud: I used to love her, Tifa *thinks back to when they dated and gets tears in eyes* But then I started dating you and Aries is nothing compared to you.... Anyway back to wasting these people....
Cloud: Who should be wasted first Riku or Mila???
Tifa: I choose Riku....*gets taken down by bouncer*
Cloud: AAAAAHHHHH.....*Also taken down by bouncer*
Jerry: O-kay anyways. Our two people who we have chosen to be compatible for being Riku's fathers are: ANSEM! The almighty darkness lecturer that secretly likes Barbies and his hair is naturally white!
Ansem comes and sits down next to Maleificent, puts an arm around her and starts frenching her. The audience moans in disgust and one audience member throws up in the top of Jerry's nacho hat where the nacho dip is. Jerry starts laughing, braking off a bit of his hat and sticking it in the barf/nacho dip and he eats it.
Jerry (ponders): mm, tastes like vegetable soup. Anyways here is the torture- er, I mean verbal test we gave to Ansem to see if he's Riku's father.
END!!!!!!!!!!!
What ya people think? Review to let me know. Flames will be fed to the crazy killer monkey in my closet. Hey! I got to feed him something.. Next chapter will have the terks YEAH! REVIEW PLEAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSEEEE!!! I'll give you nacho dip. Don't worry it doesn't have throw-up in it. Oh yeah credits also go to my friend David for helping me with this ficcie.