~JERRY SPRINGER KINGDOM HEARTS STYLE~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Really really useless infomercial~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Narrator: have you ever wanted to listen to music while combing your hair??? Not wanting to take cords along with you???? Well then do we have a deal for, you. Get this cool comb with built in radio and c.d. player for 4 easy payments of 8,572 dollars. But wait there's more. Turn to the genre you want and the comb automatically does your hair... country... Messy braids. Punk...messy spikes.........rap short and normal...boyish bands...little pigtails?
Lady with messy hair reading of cue cards: Well before I got the auto comb -354352345 my hair was smooth and sleek and pretty. BUT NOW! It's exciting. I lost my friends and joined the geek club my life just hasn't the same. THANK YOU auto comb -354352345!
Narrator: To get your Auto comb-354352345 just call this number (says really fast) 1-800-1-34134-2151235-23654316-1461361-614431564-1346-6-comb again that number is 1-800-1-34134-2151235-23654316-1461361-614431564- 1346-6-comb. Call now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End of useless infomercial~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jerry (wearing yodeling clothes): yodel, yodel, yodel lay he who! And we're back. We were with Tifa and Cloud but David took care of them (nods in David's direction) David (he nods back). Anyways here is Ansem's Test..
~Test with the Terks~ (Elena, Reno, Tseng)
Elena: ok Ansem, why should you be the father of Riku??
Ansem: well, I'm totally evil. And I did take over the boy once
Elena: Now ansem why did you take him over?
Ansem: Well I'm totally evil so I do have the right and I did take over the boy, Because he wasn't afraid of darkness just like I wasn't when I was a little fifteen-year-old-weirdo. And, and oh, oh he has my hair. But that (censored) Jerry told everyone it is naturally white. But remember I dated maleificent and she's like his mother.
Elena: OOKKKK then....
~Meanwhile~
David: Now Cloud what do you have to say for your self???
Cloud: Well, can I just tell you that it wasn't my fault, if Aries wouldn't have ran off and gotten killed by Sephiroth then me and Tifa wouldn't have hooked up and I'd never have become a gangster.
Tifa: you (censored)! I thought you hated her! You told me that you did! I thought we had something special going on here! *Stands up* you "said you loved me!" *Starts crying and slaps cloud*.
Riku *starts laughing*
Cloud: Well, I lied! *Stands up but is rushed to the ground by the bouncer**cloud now yelling* you biatch! you aren't supposed to even be alive! I told Barret and Cid to kill you and your gangster wannabe ass!
Jerry: Well, now we have a show within a show folks. Who is my real father just because the author and me think Riku is Ansem's and or Sephiroth's their son because they have the same hair color? (Takes deep breath) a--------nd Gangster wannabe's are being like mobs?
Audience: YAY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
Jerry*laughs then takes another part off of his hat and dips it into barf/nacho dip*: Mm. now back to Elena and the terks with Ansem.
Elena: Why are you so mad about Riku's hair?
Ansem: I don't see why we even have to do this. Everyone knows that I'm going to be picked to be the boy's father not some loser like Sephiroth-
Elena: *bring* *bring* Hold that thought. (She took out her cell phone and it was the 17-year-old Selphie) Oh my god he didn't? He did? *Screams* What? Oh yeah I always thought Tidus was you know kind of cute *starts playing with Ansem's hair * Hold on a sec.. Yeah like Ansem?
Ansem: WHAT?!
Elena: How'd you get these weird spikes? Did a cow lick your head or something?
Ansem: NO!
Elena: Oh my god shut up. You're lying. He asked you. Oh my god. like oh my god- Hey give me my cell phone back!
Ansem: Yeah whoever this is? YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER AND THIS BLONDE (censored) HATES YOU! *Crushes phone*
Elena: Hey that phone only had one more payment on it! I could've bought Auto comb-354352345 with the money left over but now I have to pay the whole amount you Jack(censored)
Ansem: heh-heh-heh yes let the darkness of hatred consume your heart.
Elena: hey you know you like are a loser I heard before you beat that little kid up that you said darkness 17 times in like five minutes *puts her finger and her thumb to her forehead in the shape on and L * LOSER! *Does it with her other hand * LONER! Want to be a wo-man don't have the looks so talk to the hand.
Ansem: FINISH THE TEST. (Takes her hand, squeezes it and brings it to his mouth) NOW! (Let's go) ((A/N: okay, okay I don't own Terminator 3 either. I just had to do that))
Elena: owie! How Rude!
Rude *appears with a gun pointing at her*: WHO SAID MY NAME?! WHO?!
Elena *rolls her eyes*: yeah like whatever! Take a chill pill baldy I used it in an expression I didn't say your name. Yeesh
Rude: oh leaves
Elena: Reno and Tseng will be back to tort- err like test you and some junk so like you know whatever ((a/n: I did it again I'm sorry I don't own the Simpson's either)) (She leaves)
Reno and Tseng come in and Reno shocks him with his tazer thingy he laughs retardedly and holds it there.
Tseng: That'll do Reno.. I SAID THAT'LL DO! . STOP! *Smacks Reno*
Reno (gets out of trance): Oh sorry.. Heh-heh
Tseng: So. Ansem .
Ansem temple twitching and hair is on fire: Y-yes?
Tseng (takes a sip of coffee): So-o.
Ansem: Y-es?
Tseng (says really fast): WHERE-WERE-YOU-FORTH-OF-JULY-LAST-YEAR?
Ansem: BLAH?
Reno (tazers him): ANSWER!
Ansem: Okay, okay I was in the mini golf court in the windmill making out with *gulp* URSELA!
Reno: Oh.My.God! *Gags*
Tseng: AND! Why do you think your Riku's father?
Ansem: BECAUSE I HAVE HIS-
Tseng: HAIR WELL SO DOES SEPHIROTH
Ansem: BUT SEPHIROTH DOES'NT HAVE A HOO- I MEAN GIRLFRIEND!
Tseng: But just like you it can be a prostitute. Like mmm, let's see. MALIEFICENT!
Reno: DUDE! *Gags *
Tseng: HOJO?
The man with the big spectacles and long black hair with a white lab coat comes in holding a very large empty needle: IS IT TIME?
Tseng: YES
Hojo (laughs like egore): Heeehhhee *points needle at Ansem's arm*
Ansem: MOMMY! (The camera goes blank and you hear sobs, yells, screams, swears, curses of the word darkness, and the annoying saying "submit"
~End~
Jerry Springer: Oh great now we got a show within a show within a show: Who is Riku's true father just because the author and me think Riku is Ansem's and or Sephiroth's their son because they have the same hair color? (Takes another deep breath) a--------nd Gangster wannabe's are being like mobs?? And my darkness silver haired lecturer lover cheated on me with the sea-monster Ursula? *Gasp * Oh great now I have to get more nacho hat and a sombrero, and a tango hat yeash. Anyways join us tomorrow when we get blood test results and we interview Sephiroth.
Riku: can I ask a question?
Jerry Springer: *laughs * No-
Riku: how did I get he-
Jerry Springer: I SAID NO!
~END~
Author: YAY ONE REVIEW IN ONE DAY! YAY! To my reviewer clouds darkyasha hmm thanks for the review very, very nice tee-hee anyways yes okay I'll do what you want with Tifa and I will read your fan fiction once it gets shown up oh and I'll review it. Thanks for your review. No food for the crazy killer monkey today. Reviews are appreciated thanks even flames because the monkey needs food and I'm tired of feeding him brains so I'll feed him flames if I get any. He likes flames so he'll appreciate it. C- Y'ALL LATER! REMEMBER TO ORDER YOUR AUTO COMB-354352345 AND OH YEAH. *sends nacho dip to clouds darkyasha * thanks again for your review appreciate it
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Really really useless infomercial~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Narrator: have you ever wanted to listen to music while combing your hair??? Not wanting to take cords along with you???? Well then do we have a deal for, you. Get this cool comb with built in radio and c.d. player for 4 easy payments of 8,572 dollars. But wait there's more. Turn to the genre you want and the comb automatically does your hair... country... Messy braids. Punk...messy spikes.........rap short and normal...boyish bands...little pigtails?
Lady with messy hair reading of cue cards: Well before I got the auto comb -354352345 my hair was smooth and sleek and pretty. BUT NOW! It's exciting. I lost my friends and joined the geek club my life just hasn't the same. THANK YOU auto comb -354352345!
Narrator: To get your Auto comb-354352345 just call this number (says really fast) 1-800-1-34134-2151235-23654316-1461361-614431564-1346-6-comb again that number is 1-800-1-34134-2151235-23654316-1461361-614431564- 1346-6-comb. Call now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End of useless infomercial~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jerry (wearing yodeling clothes): yodel, yodel, yodel lay he who! And we're back. We were with Tifa and Cloud but David took care of them (nods in David's direction) David (he nods back). Anyways here is Ansem's Test..
~Test with the Terks~ (Elena, Reno, Tseng)
Elena: ok Ansem, why should you be the father of Riku??
Ansem: well, I'm totally evil. And I did take over the boy once
Elena: Now ansem why did you take him over?
Ansem: Well I'm totally evil so I do have the right and I did take over the boy, Because he wasn't afraid of darkness just like I wasn't when I was a little fifteen-year-old-weirdo. And, and oh, oh he has my hair. But that (censored) Jerry told everyone it is naturally white. But remember I dated maleificent and she's like his mother.
Elena: OOKKKK then....
~Meanwhile~
David: Now Cloud what do you have to say for your self???
Cloud: Well, can I just tell you that it wasn't my fault, if Aries wouldn't have ran off and gotten killed by Sephiroth then me and Tifa wouldn't have hooked up and I'd never have become a gangster.
Tifa: you (censored)! I thought you hated her! You told me that you did! I thought we had something special going on here! *Stands up* you "said you loved me!" *Starts crying and slaps cloud*.
Riku *starts laughing*
Cloud: Well, I lied! *Stands up but is rushed to the ground by the bouncer**cloud now yelling* you biatch! you aren't supposed to even be alive! I told Barret and Cid to kill you and your gangster wannabe ass!
Jerry: Well, now we have a show within a show folks. Who is my real father just because the author and me think Riku is Ansem's and or Sephiroth's their son because they have the same hair color? (Takes deep breath) a--------nd Gangster wannabe's are being like mobs?
Audience: YAY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
Jerry*laughs then takes another part off of his hat and dips it into barf/nacho dip*: Mm. now back to Elena and the terks with Ansem.
Elena: Why are you so mad about Riku's hair?
Ansem: I don't see why we even have to do this. Everyone knows that I'm going to be picked to be the boy's father not some loser like Sephiroth-
Elena: *bring* *bring* Hold that thought. (She took out her cell phone and it was the 17-year-old Selphie) Oh my god he didn't? He did? *Screams* What? Oh yeah I always thought Tidus was you know kind of cute *starts playing with Ansem's hair * Hold on a sec.. Yeah like Ansem?
Ansem: WHAT?!
Elena: How'd you get these weird spikes? Did a cow lick your head or something?
Ansem: NO!
Elena: Oh my god shut up. You're lying. He asked you. Oh my god. like oh my god- Hey give me my cell phone back!
Ansem: Yeah whoever this is? YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER AND THIS BLONDE (censored) HATES YOU! *Crushes phone*
Elena: Hey that phone only had one more payment on it! I could've bought Auto comb-354352345 with the money left over but now I have to pay the whole amount you Jack(censored)
Ansem: heh-heh-heh yes let the darkness of hatred consume your heart.
Elena: hey you know you like are a loser I heard before you beat that little kid up that you said darkness 17 times in like five minutes *puts her finger and her thumb to her forehead in the shape on and L * LOSER! *Does it with her other hand * LONER! Want to be a wo-man don't have the looks so talk to the hand.
Ansem: FINISH THE TEST. (Takes her hand, squeezes it and brings it to his mouth) NOW! (Let's go) ((A/N: okay, okay I don't own Terminator 3 either. I just had to do that))
Elena: owie! How Rude!
Rude *appears with a gun pointing at her*: WHO SAID MY NAME?! WHO?!
Elena *rolls her eyes*: yeah like whatever! Take a chill pill baldy I used it in an expression I didn't say your name. Yeesh
Rude: oh leaves
Elena: Reno and Tseng will be back to tort- err like test you and some junk so like you know whatever ((a/n: I did it again I'm sorry I don't own the Simpson's either)) (She leaves)
Reno and Tseng come in and Reno shocks him with his tazer thingy he laughs retardedly and holds it there.
Tseng: That'll do Reno.. I SAID THAT'LL DO! . STOP! *Smacks Reno*
Reno (gets out of trance): Oh sorry.. Heh-heh
Tseng: So. Ansem .
Ansem temple twitching and hair is on fire: Y-yes?
Tseng (takes a sip of coffee): So-o.
Ansem: Y-es?
Tseng (says really fast): WHERE-WERE-YOU-FORTH-OF-JULY-LAST-YEAR?
Ansem: BLAH?
Reno (tazers him): ANSWER!
Ansem: Okay, okay I was in the mini golf court in the windmill making out with *gulp* URSELA!
Reno: Oh.My.God! *Gags*
Tseng: AND! Why do you think your Riku's father?
Ansem: BECAUSE I HAVE HIS-
Tseng: HAIR WELL SO DOES SEPHIROTH
Ansem: BUT SEPHIROTH DOES'NT HAVE A HOO- I MEAN GIRLFRIEND!
Tseng: But just like you it can be a prostitute. Like mmm, let's see. MALIEFICENT!
Reno: DUDE! *Gags *
Tseng: HOJO?
The man with the big spectacles and long black hair with a white lab coat comes in holding a very large empty needle: IS IT TIME?
Tseng: YES
Hojo (laughs like egore): Heeehhhee *points needle at Ansem's arm*
Ansem: MOMMY! (The camera goes blank and you hear sobs, yells, screams, swears, curses of the word darkness, and the annoying saying "submit"
~End~
Jerry Springer: Oh great now we got a show within a show within a show: Who is Riku's true father just because the author and me think Riku is Ansem's and or Sephiroth's their son because they have the same hair color? (Takes another deep breath) a--------nd Gangster wannabe's are being like mobs?? And my darkness silver haired lecturer lover cheated on me with the sea-monster Ursula? *Gasp * Oh great now I have to get more nacho hat and a sombrero, and a tango hat yeash. Anyways join us tomorrow when we get blood test results and we interview Sephiroth.
Riku: can I ask a question?
Jerry Springer: *laughs * No-
Riku: how did I get he-
Jerry Springer: I SAID NO!
~END~
Author: YAY ONE REVIEW IN ONE DAY! YAY! To my reviewer clouds darkyasha hmm thanks for the review very, very nice tee-hee anyways yes okay I'll do what you want with Tifa and I will read your fan fiction once it gets shown up oh and I'll review it. Thanks for your review. No food for the crazy killer monkey today. Reviews are appreciated thanks even flames because the monkey needs food and I'm tired of feeding him brains so I'll feed him flames if I get any. He likes flames so he'll appreciate it. C- Y'ALL LATER! REMEMBER TO ORDER YOUR AUTO COMB-354352345 AND OH YEAH. *sends nacho dip to clouds darkyasha * thanks again for your review appreciate it