~Jerry Springer: kingdom hearts style~
~CHAPTER 67! ERM I MEAN CHAPTER *counts on fingers * 3! ~
Person: OH MY GOD! 4 auto combs -354352345 sold in 4 weeks what a record! Time to celebrate! *Opens bottle of wine and the cork goes into someone's eye*
Person named someone: OUCH MY EYE! *Goes on a rampage and kills the 4 buyers of auto comb -354352345*
Person: aw *puts back bottle of wine* well at least we got a new record for the fastest people dieing because of me hitting people in the eye with a cork. Oh well *starts eating out of Homer Simpson's trash. You know the guy that taught them how to save money and they went to the 33cent store then went to Japan? Yeah that's who the person is. *
~Outside in a back alley behind the Jerry Springer studio~
Riku: OH my god it's so stupid!
Sora: what is?
Riku (smacks Sora's head): THIS SHOW YOU IDIOT!
Sora: Show?
Riku: JERRY SPRINGER!
Sora: JERRY SPRINGER! --- Oh --- MY EARS MY POOR, POOR EARS!
Riku: isn't it virgin ears?
Sora (shifty eyes): Yeah virgin . That's the one
Riku (eyes him): okay
Riku: Well anyways as I said this is stupid
Sora: l____l what is?
Riku: ...............Don't tell me you forgot
Sora: forgot what?
Riku (smacks his forehead): The Jerry Springer Show I'm on you know the " a show within a show within a show?
Sora: l____l ???
Riku (bangs head on wall then rubs his face, facing Sora): You know "Who is Riku's true father just because the author and me think Riku is Ansem's and or Sephiroth's their son because they have the same hair color? (Takes a deep breath just like Jerry) a--------nd Gangster wannabe's are being like mobs?? And my darkness silver haired lecturer lover cheated on me with the sea-monster Ursula?"
Sora: OOOOOH THAT ONE! (Laughs) YOU LOOK SO FUNNY UP THERE WITH MALIEFICENT ALWAYS HUGGING YOU AND JUNK!
Riku (crosses arms): SHUT UP! And it's stupid because it's so obvious that my father is- (notices camera men and makes them go away by doing things) That's better what was I saying?
Sora: I don't know. why are you out here?
Riku: I'm waiting for maleficent to finish her job and I'm hiding from fan girls and Holly
Sora: Why Holly? She hates your guts
Riku: oh you're just jealous because she likes you- wait how does that work? Anyway I'm running from her because that's just it she hates me so much she wants me dead
Sora: oh (begins laughing)
Riku: what's so funny?
Sora: because everyone likes you and hates me- wait how does that work?
Riku: I don't know hmmm.
The rest of the fan girls (that didn't get killed by maleificent ran passed and stopped in front of the alley)
Fan girl #1: OH MY GOD LIKE THERE HE IS!
Holly: LET'S GET HIM! (Has a whip and cracks it you know like you whip it and it makes a cracking noise)
Fan girl #37: CAN I HAVE YOUR A-
Sora: Autograph? (Laughs)
Fan girl #36 (looks at Sora confused): Yeah like that girly looking midget that I hate so much said
Riku (becomes nervous): .::Sweat drop::. Uh sure (begins signing)
Maleificent (walks by and has a scratchy frog voice): OH HUNNY BUNNY! - Hey I thought I killed you all
Riku (mouthed): Help me mommy!
Maleificent (turns into a dragon and pukes the fiery green stuff on them all Turing the Fan girls to ash besides Holly she ran away crying cause Maleifiecent took her job away)
~Backstage where Tifa and Cloud are fighting~ (this part isn't censored)
Tifa: *slowly getting up from Cloud's punch* what is this???? Why cloud??? WWWWWHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?????
*Shots being fired* A fan that looks like Tifa falls to the ground covered with holes
Tifa: What the fuck! Someone is trying to wack me!!!! *Barret emerges*
Barret: Fuahahahahaha...I've done it!!!!! I've killed that gangster wannabe...
Rude: WHO KILLED WHO?! IT'S MY JOB TO KILL THE PUNKS! Oh huh? OH HI! BYE! *RUNS AWAY *
Tifa: Why you little.... I mean big I mean whatever*runs and kicks Barret in undisclosed area but I think we all know where* Take that!
Barret: *tears in eyes* why...how???? I killed you.How is this possible??? *Begins crying and runs out yelling for his mommy*
*Hiding in a secret location (sitting in a chair behind Tifa) cid laughs*
Cid: Buhahahahahaha...*stands up and taps Tifa on shoulder* Hey, missed me?
Tifa: huh *turns and kicks him in the same place she kicked Barret*
Cid: Buhahahahaha...stupid bitchy girl I wore a fucking cup...*thinking to himself.... see Barret I told you that you should have worn one too but nnnoooo I'm too good for that he says I'll wack her and leave he says* humph...stupid Barret
Tifa: *Sees harpoons in Cid's hands* what do you expect to do with that???? *Tifa pulls 9mm* Hahahahah no match!
Cid: This *throws harpoons at Tifa and laughs a lot* Buahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahaha
Tifa: humph you missed...*feels weird and looks down* nnnooooooo...I'm melting...You hit me in the hills on my chest! My weak spot...I'mmm mmmmmmeeeellllllltttttttinnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg
Cid: see what I did.Now your gonna go and see Aeries and I hope she kicks your fucking stupid bitch ass!
Cloud (laughs): That's our Cid!
Cid: Shut the Fucking hell up Blondie
Cloud: meep
~Back alley~
Maleificent (sticks her fang into Riku's arm and take some blood): heh
Riku (pulls his arm away): WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? ARE YOU DRUNK!?
Maleificent (sucks on her tongue): AB+. Okay time to go inform Jerry. Good- bye Sora dear
Sora: l___l So-ra? Who's Sora?...uh I like pie (Runs off)
~Studio~
Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
Jerry Springer (glides down from the ceiling wearing all black hanging from a rope. He unclips himself and he falls on the ground): oomph (Gets up) Good news everyone we only have a show within a show folks TIFA DIED!
The Audience (boos): Awwwwwww (but one person yells yay)
clouds darkyasha: YAY! VICTORY IS MINE! BUT MY FLOOR IS DIRTY! OH WELL! THE BITCH IS DEAD! *Starts singing wizard of oz* DING DONG THE WITCH IT DEAD!
Cloud (high-pitched voice): Which o' Witch?
Cid: The Fu(censored) Wicked witch
clouds darkyasha: DING DOND THE FU(censored) WHICKED WITCH IS DEAD! HIGH HO THAT'S WHAT SHE IS ERM I MEAN HIGH HO THE DAIRY OH SING IT HIGH SING IT LOW. DING DONG THE WHICKED WITCH IS DEAD! HIGH HO THE DAIRY OH SING IT HIGH A DOCEY DOW! (Stops singing) huh? Hehe .::sweat drop::.. HI EVERYBODY!
Audience (claps and laughs): HI DOCTOR darkyasha! (Sits back down)
Jerry: Any who we just got the blood test results from Ansem and Riku but we won't tell you till the end of the story. Hey Author?
Author: YEAH?
Jerry: HOW MANY CHAPTERS ARE THERE GOING TO BE?
Author: I DON'T KNOW AS MUCH AS IT TAKES. IT DEPENDS ON HOW MANY HATS YOU HAVE. HOW MUCH MY CRAZY KILLER MONKEY CAN LIVE OFF BRAINS.HOW MANY FAN GIRLS MALEIFICENT KILLS! By the way thank ya for doing that.. HOW MANY SHOWS WITHIN A SHOW YOU GET. Need I say more?
Jerry: NO, no we're cool we're cool
Author: All right then
Jerry: Okay here is Sephiroth come on out!
Sephiroth (comes out and Cloud and him start fighting): YEAH WELL YOU'RE A MAN WHORE!
Cloud: Yeah well you're a child molester! You and your sin harvest
Sephiroth: I'm not the one that keeps going "hiya, hiya" and running after a kid really fast! YOU CHICKEN LICKER!
Audience: *GASP *
Steve the Bouncer (comes out and shoves them back into their own seats): SETTLE DOWN!
David (comes out too): WHO THE (censored) ARE YOU!? I'LL KILL YOU!
Steve: LIKE HELL YOU WILL!
David: WATCH ME! I'LL GIVE YOU THE BROKEN FACE! (He punched him hard in the head a lot of times and he dies) ha-ha-ha one for David zero for Steve the bouncer.. La de da!
Jerry Springer: since this took a while to type we'll show you Sephiroth's interview tomorrow. Good night Folks! (Leaves)
Audience member 67: WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT!
Audience member 45: HMMM, the censoring guy must have left. he-he-he FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! A DUCK SCREW A KANGAROO FINGER ARANGAPANGATANG SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL ZOO!
Cid: Oh my god you, you are my new friend. come with me my son (leaves with audience member 45)
~END~
Author: yeah I think that's long anyways I got really lazy so I didn't put Sephiroth's interview. But Yes Clouds darkyasha I killed Tifa. hope it was random enough laugh out loud. Thanks for you're reviews. like your stories tis they are phoony
~CHAPTER 67! ERM I MEAN CHAPTER *counts on fingers * 3! ~
Person: OH MY GOD! 4 auto combs -354352345 sold in 4 weeks what a record! Time to celebrate! *Opens bottle of wine and the cork goes into someone's eye*
Person named someone: OUCH MY EYE! *Goes on a rampage and kills the 4 buyers of auto comb -354352345*
Person: aw *puts back bottle of wine* well at least we got a new record for the fastest people dieing because of me hitting people in the eye with a cork. Oh well *starts eating out of Homer Simpson's trash. You know the guy that taught them how to save money and they went to the 33cent store then went to Japan? Yeah that's who the person is. *
~Outside in a back alley behind the Jerry Springer studio~
Riku: OH my god it's so stupid!
Sora: what is?
Riku (smacks Sora's head): THIS SHOW YOU IDIOT!
Sora: Show?
Riku: JERRY SPRINGER!
Sora: JERRY SPRINGER! --- Oh --- MY EARS MY POOR, POOR EARS!
Riku: isn't it virgin ears?
Sora (shifty eyes): Yeah virgin . That's the one
Riku (eyes him): okay
Riku: Well anyways as I said this is stupid
Sora: l____l what is?
Riku: ...............Don't tell me you forgot
Sora: forgot what?
Riku (smacks his forehead): The Jerry Springer Show I'm on you know the " a show within a show within a show?
Sora: l____l ???
Riku (bangs head on wall then rubs his face, facing Sora): You know "Who is Riku's true father just because the author and me think Riku is Ansem's and or Sephiroth's their son because they have the same hair color? (Takes a deep breath just like Jerry) a--------nd Gangster wannabe's are being like mobs?? And my darkness silver haired lecturer lover cheated on me with the sea-monster Ursula?"
Sora: OOOOOH THAT ONE! (Laughs) YOU LOOK SO FUNNY UP THERE WITH MALIEFICENT ALWAYS HUGGING YOU AND JUNK!
Riku (crosses arms): SHUT UP! And it's stupid because it's so obvious that my father is- (notices camera men and makes them go away by doing things) That's better what was I saying?
Sora: I don't know. why are you out here?
Riku: I'm waiting for maleficent to finish her job and I'm hiding from fan girls and Holly
Sora: Why Holly? She hates your guts
Riku: oh you're just jealous because she likes you- wait how does that work? Anyway I'm running from her because that's just it she hates me so much she wants me dead
Sora: oh (begins laughing)
Riku: what's so funny?
Sora: because everyone likes you and hates me- wait how does that work?
Riku: I don't know hmmm.
The rest of the fan girls (that didn't get killed by maleificent ran passed and stopped in front of the alley)
Fan girl #1: OH MY GOD LIKE THERE HE IS!
Holly: LET'S GET HIM! (Has a whip and cracks it you know like you whip it and it makes a cracking noise)
Fan girl #37: CAN I HAVE YOUR A-
Sora: Autograph? (Laughs)
Fan girl #36 (looks at Sora confused): Yeah like that girly looking midget that I hate so much said
Riku (becomes nervous): .::Sweat drop::. Uh sure (begins signing)
Maleificent (walks by and has a scratchy frog voice): OH HUNNY BUNNY! - Hey I thought I killed you all
Riku (mouthed): Help me mommy!
Maleificent (turns into a dragon and pukes the fiery green stuff on them all Turing the Fan girls to ash besides Holly she ran away crying cause Maleifiecent took her job away)
~Backstage where Tifa and Cloud are fighting~ (this part isn't censored)
Tifa: *slowly getting up from Cloud's punch* what is this???? Why cloud??? WWWWWHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?????
*Shots being fired* A fan that looks like Tifa falls to the ground covered with holes
Tifa: What the fuck! Someone is trying to wack me!!!! *Barret emerges*
Barret: Fuahahahahaha...I've done it!!!!! I've killed that gangster wannabe...
Rude: WHO KILLED WHO?! IT'S MY JOB TO KILL THE PUNKS! Oh huh? OH HI! BYE! *RUNS AWAY *
Tifa: Why you little.... I mean big I mean whatever*runs and kicks Barret in undisclosed area but I think we all know where* Take that!
Barret: *tears in eyes* why...how???? I killed you.How is this possible??? *Begins crying and runs out yelling for his mommy*
*Hiding in a secret location (sitting in a chair behind Tifa) cid laughs*
Cid: Buhahahahahaha...*stands up and taps Tifa on shoulder* Hey, missed me?
Tifa: huh *turns and kicks him in the same place she kicked Barret*
Cid: Buhahahahaha...stupid bitchy girl I wore a fucking cup...*thinking to himself.... see Barret I told you that you should have worn one too but nnnoooo I'm too good for that he says I'll wack her and leave he says* humph...stupid Barret
Tifa: *Sees harpoons in Cid's hands* what do you expect to do with that???? *Tifa pulls 9mm* Hahahahah no match!
Cid: This *throws harpoons at Tifa and laughs a lot* Buahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahaha
Tifa: humph you missed...*feels weird and looks down* nnnooooooo...I'm melting...You hit me in the hills on my chest! My weak spot...I'mmm mmmmmmeeeellllllltttttttinnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg
Cid: see what I did.Now your gonna go and see Aeries and I hope she kicks your fucking stupid bitch ass!
Cloud (laughs): That's our Cid!
Cid: Shut the Fucking hell up Blondie
Cloud: meep
~Back alley~
Maleificent (sticks her fang into Riku's arm and take some blood): heh
Riku (pulls his arm away): WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? ARE YOU DRUNK!?
Maleificent (sucks on her tongue): AB+. Okay time to go inform Jerry. Good- bye Sora dear
Sora: l___l So-ra? Who's Sora?...uh I like pie (Runs off)
~Studio~
Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
Jerry Springer (glides down from the ceiling wearing all black hanging from a rope. He unclips himself and he falls on the ground): oomph (Gets up) Good news everyone we only have a show within a show folks TIFA DIED!
The Audience (boos): Awwwwwww (but one person yells yay)
clouds darkyasha: YAY! VICTORY IS MINE! BUT MY FLOOR IS DIRTY! OH WELL! THE BITCH IS DEAD! *Starts singing wizard of oz* DING DONG THE WITCH IT DEAD!
Cloud (high-pitched voice): Which o' Witch?
Cid: The Fu(censored) Wicked witch
clouds darkyasha: DING DOND THE FU(censored) WHICKED WITCH IS DEAD! HIGH HO THAT'S WHAT SHE IS ERM I MEAN HIGH HO THE DAIRY OH SING IT HIGH SING IT LOW. DING DONG THE WHICKED WITCH IS DEAD! HIGH HO THE DAIRY OH SING IT HIGH A DOCEY DOW! (Stops singing) huh? Hehe .::sweat drop::.. HI EVERYBODY!
Audience (claps and laughs): HI DOCTOR darkyasha! (Sits back down)
Jerry: Any who we just got the blood test results from Ansem and Riku but we won't tell you till the end of the story. Hey Author?
Author: YEAH?
Jerry: HOW MANY CHAPTERS ARE THERE GOING TO BE?
Author: I DON'T KNOW AS MUCH AS IT TAKES. IT DEPENDS ON HOW MANY HATS YOU HAVE. HOW MUCH MY CRAZY KILLER MONKEY CAN LIVE OFF BRAINS.HOW MANY FAN GIRLS MALEIFICENT KILLS! By the way thank ya for doing that.. HOW MANY SHOWS WITHIN A SHOW YOU GET. Need I say more?
Jerry: NO, no we're cool we're cool
Author: All right then
Jerry: Okay here is Sephiroth come on out!
Sephiroth (comes out and Cloud and him start fighting): YEAH WELL YOU'RE A MAN WHORE!
Cloud: Yeah well you're a child molester! You and your sin harvest
Sephiroth: I'm not the one that keeps going "hiya, hiya" and running after a kid really fast! YOU CHICKEN LICKER!
Audience: *GASP *
Steve the Bouncer (comes out and shoves them back into their own seats): SETTLE DOWN!
David (comes out too): WHO THE (censored) ARE YOU!? I'LL KILL YOU!
Steve: LIKE HELL YOU WILL!
David: WATCH ME! I'LL GIVE YOU THE BROKEN FACE! (He punched him hard in the head a lot of times and he dies) ha-ha-ha one for David zero for Steve the bouncer.. La de da!
Jerry Springer: since this took a while to type we'll show you Sephiroth's interview tomorrow. Good night Folks! (Leaves)
Audience member 67: WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT!
Audience member 45: HMMM, the censoring guy must have left. he-he-he FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! A DUCK SCREW A KANGAROO FINGER ARANGAPANGATANG SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL ZOO!
Cid: Oh my god you, you are my new friend. come with me my son (leaves with audience member 45)
~END~
Author: yeah I think that's long anyways I got really lazy so I didn't put Sephiroth's interview. But Yes Clouds darkyasha I killed Tifa. hope it was random enough laugh out loud. Thanks for you're reviews. like your stories tis they are phoony