Chapter 11
Crichton was marched along endless corridors and thrown into a cell. The door was slammed shut. He looked around
"Usual surroundings; lumpy, uncomfortable bed with no covers, state of the art in basic latrine facilities in the corner, heavy duty surveillance for the voyeurs in the ceiling. Here's something new though," he said as he spied a metal grill in the wall. It was at head height and was perhaps two foot square
"John, is that you?"
"Aeryn?"
Her fingers appeared through the grill. He grabbed them and kissed them
"Oh, babe, thank God you're OK. Have they hurt you? Is the baby alright?"
"We're both fine John. What about you?"
"Well, apart from the fact that I just had a session with the bitch from hell I'm just peachy."
"What did she want?"
"Oh the usual; I either build them a wormhole weapon or they'll kill you and junior"
"What about the others?"
"Red told me they were already dead. Not sure whether to believe her, but from what Scorpy said she showed no mercy in dealing with Grayza so we do have to consider the possibility that she's telling the truth"
"She has offered me a promotion to lieutenant in the intelligence service and a full pardon if I persuade you to help. She says they will even let me have the baby"
"She didn't mention the DNA thing?"
"No, Scorpius must have told her. He was with her when I arrived"
"Then it's a no-brainer babe"
"You can't mean it John! You know you can't give it them. She's a Peacekeeper and a very senior one at that. I think we've learned enough of them by now not to trust anything they say"
"I know, but I can just go along with their plan for the time being. She wants me to go to some research base within Peacekeeper space. There should be plenty of opportunity to escape either on the journey or at the base. Hell, I might even get the chance to destroy another PK facility"
"You know that's not sound thinking, John. We've always been able to get out of these situations before because we work with D'Argo and the others as a team. It's likely that you'll be on your own on this base, so what chance have you of either escape or resisting when they try to force the knowledge out of you? We have to face the possibility that this is it; our luck has finally run out."
"You think we've been lucky with all the shit that's been thrown at us up to now?"
"We're still alive and together aren't we? What I mean is, what if this woman is really serious and not just testing you?
"They're not gonna kill you Aeryn. She knows you and the baby are my Achilles heel; she's not gonna loose that advantage"
"For all we know she may be more than happy to be rid of a Peacekeeper defector. You know what will happen if you give them the technology; it can only lead to a catastrophic war. I will not be the means by which millions, perhaps billions, of people die. What would we have if you give in? Do you think either of us could really live with ourselves? Let's face it, the odds of us surviving to old age are pretty slim. If I'm going to die let my death mean something, John. So many of us have already died protecting this knowledge. I would be just one more."
"Two, Aeryn, two more"
They were both silent for a moment thinking over all the ramifications of their current predicament. She sighed and hung her head
"It's just like my mother all over again. The peacekeepers are making me choose between my child and the man I love. If I make you give them the knowledge to keep my child alive I will probably never see you again; if I choose to die then my child dies with me" he reached to caress her face with the tips of his fingers
"No, you can have both of us"
"You don't imagine that they're going to let us stay together do you? Once you've made their wormhole weapon you are no longer useful, John and it would be dangerous to keep you alive. I am to return to the ranks and our son would be raised as a Peacekeeper. I would rather die now than let that happen"
"Something will come up, babe, it always does"
"You're deluding yourself if you think Listrac is kidding"
"I know, but I have to hope, Aeryn. It's what I do; blind optimism and hope in the face of insurmountable odds"
He rested his head on the grill and she let her fingers run through his hair in a gesture of comfort.
"You know this conversation is probably being monitored"
"I don't care, let 'em listen. I can't believe this is happening," he banged his fist against the wall in frustration. "After all we've been through to have finally got some happiness together and this happens. I thought we had reached a level of understanding with the Peacekeepers. How many times do we have to get out of these god awful situations?
"There's still Scorpius"
"I'm not sure he has any sway with this woman"
"If she's not bluffing, you know that this is my choice, don't you? I would rather die than let them have the wormhole technology, and I would rather our son was never born than have him raised the way I was when I know he can have so much more, be so much more. I don't want you to feel guilty in anyway; your love will give me the strength to go through with it. The last four cycles of my life have taught me things I never expected and that's all down to you. I wouldn't have missed them for ten promotions and flying Prowlers till I'm ninety. If I could have the time over again I wouldn't change anything, except perhaps not to have been so frightened of loving you so we could have been together sooner"
"You sound like you're giving up, Aeryn"
"No, I'm just being practical and realistic. It's what I do in the face of your blind optimism! Being prepared to die to keep the wormhole knowledge safe is not giving up"
"I'm convinced that it's not gonna come to that, babe, but if it does, I, I'm just not sure that I have the strength to let you go again"
"You must John, for all our sakes. You now that if you don't give them what they want you will soon follow me, don't you?"
"Yeah, but I'm not afraid of death. At least that is one way I can have some peace at last"
The three arns seemed to pass very quickly. They talked in whispers, sharing feelings that they might not get a chance to share again. Crichton remained hopeful that Listrac would not carry out her threat or that Scorpius would pull off a rescue, but as the microts ticked on the tension became tangible and they fell into silence, just touching fingers through the grill. Suddenly the doors opened. Crichton turned to see Commissioner Listrac enter his cell with two guards. At the same time half a dozen guards entered Aeryn's cell
"Well Crichton, I have come for your answer"
"Be strong John, remember what we agreed" John just sat on the bed with his head in his hands muttering "I can't do it, I can't do it." Now, in the moment of truth he knew that if Listrac really was serious these would be the most difficult moments of his life.
"That will be enough Officer Sun. Well, Crichton?"
"Frell off you bitch"
"I take it that is your final answer? So be it. Guards!" The guards grabbed Crichton and pinned him against the wall so that his face was pressed against the grill. He could see Aeryn being shackled to the far wall of her cell, directly in his line of vision
"I will give you one last chance to save them Crichton"
"Please babe, I can't do this. I have to give it to them" he stared at her imploringly
"No John, you know my life is not worth it"
"It is to me"
"You have to be strong, John."
He tried desperately to pull the metal out of the grill but it wouldn't move. "No, no this is cruel. Please don't make me watch" he sobbed.
"You can still stop this, Crichton" the relentless voice sounded in his ear
"No I can't. I must be strong for Aeryn. You won't win you know. Do you really think killing Aeryn and our baby is going to make me give you what you want?"
"What would you have to live for with them gone? Besides I always have the physical torture option" she moved around to his other side to continue the attack "You can't really love her if you're prepared to let her die"
"It's because I love her that I'm letting it happen" his gaze didn't waiver from Aeryn's as he tried to convey his feelings to her. She smiled sadly at him, letting him know she understood.
"Then you've had your last chance, Crichton" The guards raised their weapons as Listrac turned to address Aeryn
"I'm surprised at you Officer Sun. I gave you an opportunity for advancement in the service you were bred to"
"I'm not my mother"
"No, obviously not. Still, this way is so much simpler than bringing you back into Peacekeeper service and I'll still get what I want in the end" Aeryn ignored her and smiled bravely at John.
"I always loved you John, you know that don't you? Even when I tried not to I loved you, and I always will. I'll be waiting for you" A single tear ran down each of Aeryn's cheeks. John let out a great sob as tears began to pour down his face. At a signal from Listrac the guards fired. Aeryn held his gaze for a moment then slumped forward. One of the guards stepped forward to feel her pulse.
"She's gone, Sir." A strangled animal cry broke from John as he fell to the floor.
Author's note: How was that for you? I've only just put the tissues away, especially as I've finally found the full lyrics to what I think is probably the ultimate Crichton and Aeryn song – Joy Division – Love will tear us apart (had to play it very loudly after completing this chapter):
When routine bites hard, and ambitions are low
And resentment rides high, but emotions won't grow
And we're changing our ways, taking different roads
Then love, love will tear us apart again --
Why is the bedroom so cold? You've turned away on your side
Is my timing that flawed - our respect run so dry?
Yet there's still this appeal that we've kept through our lives
Love, love will tear us apart again --
You cry out in your sleep - all my failings exposed
There's a taste in my mouth, as desperation takes hold
Just that something so good just can't function no more
When love, love will tear us apart again --