Grace stood outside of the classroom and stared at the car in front
of her, waiting for the image to blur into the sight of someone else's car
with someone other than Mr. Dimitri sitting inside, as it often had. But
when he got out of his car and started walking toward her, she began to
panic. And when he ran his fingers through his hair, she couldn't deny it
was him and started walking backwards, almost involuntarily, until she hit
her head against the wall and grimaced in pain.
He laughed nervously as he approached her. "Are you okay?" he asked, holding his hand to her. She refused it and looked away from him, nodding dizzily and trying to relax the muscles in her face from a look of horror into one of cool nonchalance; she had a feeling that it wasn't working. She felt his gaze on her face, and her cheek began to burn from force of habit, as if all of the chemical reactions her body had experienced in the time she'd known him had remained waiting just beneath her skin and could be instantly unleashed by a single glance.
"So what are you doing here?" she asked in a small voice, trying to sound like she couldn't care less. He held out the envelope to her and tilted his head toward her face to try to read the look in her eyes. She flinched as a piece of his hair nearly touched her ear. She finally turned to face him when he pushed the envelope into her arms. He was smiling gently at her, like a Zen teacher who never said more than he needed to, just waited for her to react to his presence. "What is it?" she asked, the sweat on her palms moistening the paper. "You'll see," he said, "It's just something I found when I was cleaning out my old papers from school."
"Oh," she said softly, closing her eyes for a moment to soften the familiar feeling of disappointment that flooded her every time he gave her something and she discovered it wasn't enough. He put a hand on her arm, just beneath her elbow as if he could see the pain he was causing her, and wanted to physically shield her from it.
"I should have given it to you before I left but.I.I didn't.there was just so much that was happening." He grew silent and stared down at the ground, his hand dropping from her arm. A pale spider crawled past them in the space that divided their feet. Grace watched it too, feeling her heart lighten as he stumbled over his words. She suddenly felt sorry for him, as if realizing for the first time that she wasn't the only one who'd suffered over the loss of their friendship. She looked up at his face and waited for him to finish what he was saying, but he didn't say anything.
In the sunlight she could clearly see the lines at the corners of his (beautiful) mouth, between his pale eyebrows. He looked older than she remembered, and the details of his face that she'd forgotten made her want so badly to touch him that she felt the center of her body fill with a heavy pain. She inhaled sharply and leaned against the wall of the classroom to keep from falling down. The sound of her breathing broke Dimitri's trance and he looked around the parking lot to make sure no one was watching them. "Are you.waiting for someone?" he asked, carefully searching the few nearby cars for Lily's SUV. Luckily it was still too early for the afternoon rush that took place after the final bell had rung. Grace shook her head.
"No, my mom has a meeting today and Jessie's going to her mom's so I was just going to, um, I was just going to walk." She looked away from him as her voice grew smaller, remembering with humiliation the way she'd practically thrown herself into his car the day he'd first offered to drive her home. He smiled at her and turned toward the parking lot. Well, if you want, I can give you a ride." Grace's eyes widened. "Are you sure?" she asked, searching his face to see if he was serious. He laughed. "Do you mistrust my driving skills?" he asked in a mocking tone. She smiled and opened her backpack to stick the envelope inside. "No," she said, slinging the bag over her shoulder, "I trust you."
He laughed nervously as he approached her. "Are you okay?" he asked, holding his hand to her. She refused it and looked away from him, nodding dizzily and trying to relax the muscles in her face from a look of horror into one of cool nonchalance; she had a feeling that it wasn't working. She felt his gaze on her face, and her cheek began to burn from force of habit, as if all of the chemical reactions her body had experienced in the time she'd known him had remained waiting just beneath her skin and could be instantly unleashed by a single glance.
"So what are you doing here?" she asked in a small voice, trying to sound like she couldn't care less. He held out the envelope to her and tilted his head toward her face to try to read the look in her eyes. She flinched as a piece of his hair nearly touched her ear. She finally turned to face him when he pushed the envelope into her arms. He was smiling gently at her, like a Zen teacher who never said more than he needed to, just waited for her to react to his presence. "What is it?" she asked, the sweat on her palms moistening the paper. "You'll see," he said, "It's just something I found when I was cleaning out my old papers from school."
"Oh," she said softly, closing her eyes for a moment to soften the familiar feeling of disappointment that flooded her every time he gave her something and she discovered it wasn't enough. He put a hand on her arm, just beneath her elbow as if he could see the pain he was causing her, and wanted to physically shield her from it.
"I should have given it to you before I left but.I.I didn't.there was just so much that was happening." He grew silent and stared down at the ground, his hand dropping from her arm. A pale spider crawled past them in the space that divided their feet. Grace watched it too, feeling her heart lighten as he stumbled over his words. She suddenly felt sorry for him, as if realizing for the first time that she wasn't the only one who'd suffered over the loss of their friendship. She looked up at his face and waited for him to finish what he was saying, but he didn't say anything.
In the sunlight she could clearly see the lines at the corners of his (beautiful) mouth, between his pale eyebrows. He looked older than she remembered, and the details of his face that she'd forgotten made her want so badly to touch him that she felt the center of her body fill with a heavy pain. She inhaled sharply and leaned against the wall of the classroom to keep from falling down. The sound of her breathing broke Dimitri's trance and he looked around the parking lot to make sure no one was watching them. "Are you.waiting for someone?" he asked, carefully searching the few nearby cars for Lily's SUV. Luckily it was still too early for the afternoon rush that took place after the final bell had rung. Grace shook her head.
"No, my mom has a meeting today and Jessie's going to her mom's so I was just going to, um, I was just going to walk." She looked away from him as her voice grew smaller, remembering with humiliation the way she'd practically thrown herself into his car the day he'd first offered to drive her home. He smiled at her and turned toward the parking lot. Well, if you want, I can give you a ride." Grace's eyes widened. "Are you sure?" she asked, searching his face to see if he was serious. He laughed. "Do you mistrust my driving skills?" he asked in a mocking tone. She smiled and opened her backpack to stick the envelope inside. "No," she said, slinging the bag over her shoulder, "I trust you."