Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and company. I don't even own an
action figure of Harry Potter and company. So don't sue me or I'll have to
set my dog on you.
Chapter 3: Purified
Besides Fred and George's horrible housekeeping skills, they also had no aptitude in cooking. It seemed downright hilarious that they could whip up complicated potions with no sweat and yet it was a daily trial to make toast and eggs. They told Jeanette that they usually ate out on the weekdays which took a big chunk out of their profits (together it seemed that they could eat more than a full grown giant) and they visited their parent's home on weekends. At least once a week their mother would bring something and check up on them.
Jeanette, who thought a slight messiness was cozy, was horrified by the sight of the kitchen, the twin's rooms, and the shop after a good look. It had never occurred to the twins to use a mop. They'd used a cleaning spell every once in a while, but never a good scrub. Therefore, the kitchen floor was forever sticky and smelled like old cheese. There were several scorch marks on the table, acid burns on the floor, and a whole chunk of the wall had been taken out (from one of the more flamboyant experiments George had said.) The whole place was also cluttered with cauldrons, trash, takeout boxes, and to make things worse they were breeding some sort of maggot in the trashcans. The area around the trashcan was molding and there was a disgusting crust on some parts of the floor. There was nothing but butterbeer and potions in the fridge.
When Jeanette asked how in the world did their mother put up with this mess, they replied that they had never actually let her see anything beyond the shop and the sitting room where they had enough sense to clean every night.
Their rooms were worse. The drapes drawn low, bedding all over the place, it reeked like old coffee and ink. Empty and almost empty bottles of the Muggle invention called coke and Starbucks littered the floor. The desks were covered with parchment. There were spills and stains all over the place. There were mushrooms growing out of the carpet and they squeaked when she nudged one with her foot!!!!!
The store had no organization whatsoever though Fred and George seemed to know where everything was. The floor was cleanest, because their mother saw it. Since Jeanette had arrived on a Friday, George thought she might as well start on Monday and get settled in. "Girls," he said, "took a notoriously long time to get settled in."
The two also made it clear that under no circumstances was she to pick up the disgusting practice of cleaning and bossing them around about their eating habits. However, while Fred and George were busy talking to Bill and his girlfriend, Fleur Delacore, at dinner at the Leaky Cauldron's, Jeanette got a location of a particularly good store that stocked powerful cleaning potions and of a weekly open air market from the witch sitting close to them.
Early Saturday morning, Jeanette got out of bed long before the twins and set off for the open air market with a basket and a dolly. After getting a nice selection of produce, milk, eggs, and meat, she went to Suds 'R Us and bought a crate of cleaning supplies. She loaded it on the dolly and charmed the thing to follow her to Madame Malkins for a bolt of semi- transparent blue material that would make nice curtains. She charged the bolt of cloth and the new fridge on Weasley's account. They wouldn't find out until next month.
"What are you going to do?" Madame Malkins questioned, looking curiously at the crate.
"Preparing for war." Jeanette replied.
"Against the Dark Lord?" Madame Malkin said incredulously.
"No, the dust bunnies."
"Oh," said the shop owner and generously donated an armful of rags for the cause.
It was ten thirty when she got back to the shop and the twins were still fast asleep. She hid the cleaning supplies in her room, put back the dolly, and cooked four egg omelets for each of the boys. She felt a bit sorry for them. Just imagine almost three months of eating at the Leaky Cauldron two meals a day and six days a week. Didn't they get tired of it?
She began to deep clean her own room. She enchanted a couple of rags to rhythmically scrub the windows. All of her bedding boiled in her cauldron. She had used a few squirts of her Beach Day Bubble Bath and a capful detergent. She used an entire jar of her Euphoric foot scrub (with built in cheering charm) to scour the tiled bathroom.
Borrowing two of Fred and George's cauldrons she made a big batch of lemon scented body scrub and Strawberry Milkshake Moisturizer. While the moisturizer and scrub cooked, she stole a can of shaving cream and made a list of things she had to buy (and would partially charge on the twins' account.)
An automatic washboard and tub. (How in the world did they keep clean before? She cringed at the thought.)
Lots of glass jars (that was for the leftover scrub and moisturizer. She hoped there would still be some left.)
More salt for scrubs
Some pots and pans. (they only had one frying pan)
Paper towels
Plates, forks, cups, and other eating utensils (Barbarians, thought Jeanette.)
Happy Camper anywhere anytime water hose with five settings. (she had a feeling that kitchen crust wasn't going to get off the floor without a fight.)
Lots and lots of boxes (for packing things)
Lots and lots of scrub brushes (to scrub the crust off the kitchen floor. Gross!)
Lots and lots of shaving cream
Fred and George barely caught sight of Jeanette all day. She was either in her room, shopping, or going up and down the stairs. The entire hallway reeked of pleasant smelling substances. She declined both lunch and dinner. They were a bit worried but stayed as far as possible from the vile hallway. If they only knew that she had two pounds of blueberries in her room, they would not have been half as sympathetic. They never expected anything.
At ten the next morning, the twins apparated to their parent's home. They told her that they would be back around 10 at night. As soon as they left, she changed into a military uniform (which she had transfigured from some of the cloth she bought yesterday) and launched her first attack. She had cleaned all ten of their cauldrons the night before while they had been at dinner. The sitting room was also clean and repaired. She stowed them all in the basement now with the three new washing boards (one couldn't be enough) and a new fridge. Five cauldrons were immediately occupied with cleaning dirty clothes from the twins rooms and bedding. Another two cauldrons were boiling all the glass bottles she found in their rooms. It amazed her that they chose to use the kitchen as a lab instead of the basement. Boys, she sighed.
Next, she moved all the potions from the fridge in the kitchen to the fridge in the basement. She stocked the kitchen fridge with real food which she had charged on the Weasely's account. How they stayed so lean and trim on junk food was beyond her and she was slightly jealous. She levitated the trashcan with the maggots surround it with an inescapable charm and also stowed it in the basement. She boxed all the twins papers, books, and anything else that wasn't trash. George had a quite an impressive collection of magical creature droppings and hair clippings. His dragon dropping was about the size of a tire. She charmed all the stores boxes, cans, bottles, and jars to hop into boxes.
After she moved all the boxes to the basement which was getting very crowded. The boxes had also been charged to the Weasley account. She dumped the clothes into the washtubs and air dried the bottles. Then she had lunch (ham sandwich and strawberries.) She set up a few clothes lines and dried the clothes.
Now it was time for phase two. She sealed her room and the basement, opened all the windows and doors, hooked up the hose, and had a grand time flooding the apartment and shop. The water drained out the front the door. She used about a quarter of the cauldron of body scrub (self-scrubbing of course) on the bathrooms, half on the kitchen, the rest on the store floor (the bad boys had used illusion charms and the floor was a lot dirtier then she had previously thought.) She had to use the rest of her Euphoric foot scrub (also self scrubbing) on the floor too. She shut the front door. People were gazing curiously in through the front door. She saturated the carpet with Stain Be Gone and her entire supply of wonderful little cornmeal and baking soda Bath Biscuits were skating in the bathtubs and sinks. Her Peach Passion exfoliating wipes were break dancing with the furniture, counters, and other wooden surfaces. The rags busied themselves with windows and mirrors. Conveniently, blocking the view from inquisitive onlookers.
Using rain boots, she journeyed to the basement and conjured a small whirlwind to dry the clothes. Then she got them to fold themselves and jump inside the now dry cauldrons.
It was fourteen and a half hundred hours by the time she was ready for the third phase. She hooked up the hose again and washed away most of the dirt. She hosed down the carpets and watched the mossy muddy looking water run down the wood stairs and out the door. She hosed the kitchen and watched the reddish brown river run down the stairs. She hosed the scrub in the bathroom down the toilet. The twins' water bill would go through the roof this month. She hosed until the store floor was clean.
But now it was the time for the deep cleaning and purging. Phase four started at fifteen and a quarter hundred hours. She conjured two whirlwinds in the twins bedrooms and warded the doors. She dumped all the detergents into her cauldron and set loose her army of (three boxes) a hundred and fifty scrub brushes. She had only charged two boxes on the Weasleys.
Marching in a four files, they dunked themselves into the cleaning solution and separated into divisions of twenty-five. One was split between the bathrooms. One division began to scrub the stairs. Two worked on the kitchen. (including the ceiling and walls which were still filthy. Jeanette had been afraid to use scrub for fear of taking off paint.) The last two took the floor.
Using three parts shaving cream and one part Strawberry Milkshake moisturizer, she used her loofah gloves to give kitchen furniture and banister full body massages. She warded the carpeted hallway and set a whirlwind lose in it. She then went down and stood on the store counter like Mickey Mouse in her favorite Muggle movie Fantasia except she didn't fall asleep. She made curtains instead (with her wand of course.)
At sixteen hundred hours, she stopped the whirlwinds and sent the clothes filled cauldrons floating up the stairs and into their respective rooms. One of the scrub brushes got carried away and tried to attack one of the cauldrons. She reassigned it to the floor. Then she sent some of packed things and glass bottles up too.
At sixteen and a half hundred hours, she covered the hallways carpet with a water repelling charm and hosed the kitchen, stairs, and store floor one last time. The brushes washed themselves with the water and also the cauldron before retreating with the cauldron and most of the gloves to her room. She rinsed out the bathrooms.
She locked herself in George's bedroom while she set a whirlwind in the house. She put away his clothes in his closet, put his very few books on his desk, organized his dung collection on the walls, put up some curtains, and made his bed. When she was finally finished and having the loofah gloves massage the shaving cream and strawberry lotion into the bed and desk. She thought she heard soft whimpering under the bed. She found a terrified but very clean niffler hiding under his bed. It wouldn't come out.
She left the box of papers on his desk for George to sort out. At eighteen hundred hours hours, Jeanette was exhausted but there was more to do. She dissolved the whirlwind and mournfully unbottled the last of her lotion on the floor and all of the twin's shaving cream (they could always use her scented shower gel tomorrow morning) and had nine out of her ten gloves massage it into the wooden floor. The tenth pair of gloves carried two handfuls of the mixture to rub into Fred's bed and desk.
Boxes and boxes stacked themselves on the store counter. She would organize it later. She staggered into the clean kitchen, the tiles were white instead of the beige before the scrubbing. A few boxes followed her and sat themselves down on the table. She opened the boxes and dishes, cups, and silverware shot out and began putting themselves into the cabinets. Wary of the flying saucers, she carefully grabbed a few apples for the niffler and herself.
When she passed Fred's room, she thought she heard a low humming sound. She glanced inside. A long thin pink snake seemed to be coming from out of the closet and trying to eat the makeshift varnish on the bed frame. One of the gloves was furiously trying to slap the snake away, but it was adamant.
Putting the apples in her pockets, she went to investigate. The pink snake was wet and slimy when she touched it. It seemed to be as repulsed as she was, because it pulled deeper into the closet and disappeared. Cautiously, she stuck her hand out in the area it had disappeared and felt cloth. She pulled it off and uncovered a cage with a very fluffy Puffskein in it. Using her wand to slice an apple into quarters, she pushed the pieces into the cage. She hung up the invisibility cloak. Then she picked up the cage and put it in George's room.
She rolled an apple under the bed and she was surprised when it rolled back out. The niffler had an attitude. She smirked. The Puffskein began to hum again and a snout emerged from under the bed sniffing. A small, black furry creature soon crept out and ignoring Jeanette, went to greet the Puffskein who hummed louder. She let the Puffskein out of the cage and it began to roll around in the room.
Jeanette decided to leave the friends together and closed the door behind her. Puffskein seemed mischievous. She went back to Fred's room. It seemed that the Puffskein had eaten most of the lotion, so she opened a bottle of Cocoa Crème and poured some into one of the gloves. She opened the cauldron and sent the clothes into the closet, she made the bed, put up the curtains, put the box of paper and books on the desk, and went downstairs.
It was now nineteen hundred and a half hours. She had to organize the store. She opened the door to let the strawberry scented room to air out, but covered the door with an opaque charm. Then she opened the boxes. Like a conductor, she began to wave her wand. The cans, bottles, little boxes, and containers began to organize themselves into little groups. Pranks to the right, things you did to yourself on the left. She ate her apple while she watched.
She charmed the side wall to produce a line of hooks to hang the invisibility hats on. She then sent the products onto the shelves by alphabetical order. Canary cremes toward the front and puking pastilles toward the back. Finally, she transfigured the boxes into signs that labeled each shelf. For instance the first row on the right said "Angel Food (the victim sprouted wings, a halo, was levitated six feet above the ground, and was forced to sing hymns) --Dinosorpor" (It was a tasteless powder. Put it in drinks and your friend and he'll hallucinate that's he's being chased by terrible lizards.)
She closed the front door and put a curtain over the glass. Then she went down to the basement. She noticed the cauldrons were still in the rooms and she called them down. Soon the gleaming cauldrons were against the wall and so were the washboards. The basement was the only dusty place in the whole house, but she was too tired to clean it now. Besides the boys needed some dirty refuge.
The kitchen was clean and neat except the boxes piled on the table and the hole in the wall. She fixed the hole and transfigured the boxes into small baskets and put them next to the sink. She'd put soap and lotion in them later. Around seventy empty glass bottles were lying on her floor. Some had been beer butter glasses and others had been filled with lotion and scrubs. Using a scouring charm, she cleaned the dirty ones, put them all in her cauldron and shoved it into her closet. She took out one scrub brush and sent the rest into her closet. The gloves were piled on her bed. She sent all but three pairs into her chest. She was going to have a nice warm bath, but first she had to check on the animals.
When she opened the door, she wanted to cry. George's carpet had dirt tracked everywhere. The animals were asleep on the bed, the coverlet was dirty. Where had the dirt come from? She peeked under the bed, a flap of carpet had been pulled back revealing a magical tunnel. She decided she hated nifflers. In fact, she hated George who put the tunnel in the first place.
She hit the cage with an engorging charm, grabbed the sleeping niffler by the tail (the charming fellow tried to nip her), stuffed it into the cage and locked it. The wonderfully trained Puffskein had an accident on the carpet. She put the puffskein in a bubble charm so it couldn't use its tongue. It hummed stupidly. Then she scoured the carpet. It took three tries to get the dirt out, but not the smell. She threw out the apple cores.
"If you were mine," she told the animals. "I would have spanked you silly." No wonder her father had never let her have a pet. They were infuriating. She encased the niffler in a bubble charm and levitated it. "I hate you." She told it. "Now, I am going to have my much needed bath. "YOU," she addressed the Puffskein who was still humming idiotically, "shut up." She kicked it to her bathroom.
She drew a relaxing lavender bath, washed the gloves. Once clean they immediately began to give her a massage. She thought she'd pass out right there. She finally noticed the Puffskein when it tried to roll out the door and kept bonking against the doorframe. It really was quite dim. She picked it up and adhered it the bathtub. Turning on some relaxing Mozart, she removed the sweaty, sticky, and grimy military uniform. She would have to conjure a laundry basket later. She got into the warm tub and leaned against the Puffskein. It made a wonderful pillow. The gloves rubbed her feet. Another pair wet her hair, while yet another brought over a small amphora of rose scented shampoo. After returning the amphora back to the cabinet. The third pair of began to work it into her hair while the second pair rubbed her sore shoulders and arms.
She must have fallen asleep at some time, because when she woke up she was wrinkly from the water and the gloves were shaking her. She drained the tub and took a refreshing cold shower. Then she remembered the Puffskein. Wickedly, she undid the bubble charm and sprayed it with the cold water. The silence charm kept it quiet and it also kept its tongue in check. It rolled around trying to avoid the water and she hosed it. Finally, it began to cry big purple tears and she felt guilty. She took off the silence charm. She got the gloves to pat it dry. Then she charmed them into cleaning the bathroom. They didn't do a very orderly job, but she was tired.
It was nine twenty. She had only slept about forty five minutes. She put on a pair of pajamas. She thought they were cute. She had transfigured them two days ago. They were made pale blue cotton cloth. It was a spaghetti strap top with fist sized picture of what looked like a fat red baby chicken sleeping on a cloud and matching pants with pastel purple clouds on them. The bird was supposed to be a phoenix, but Jeanette was never really the artistic type. She brushed her teeth, and put another bubble charm on the Puffskein. She put the pets in their owner's rooms. She adhered the Puffskein to the bed. Though she had forgiven it and that horrible, stupid, clumsy, filthy niffler. Okay, so maybe she hadn't quite forgiven the niffler, but she didn't want the Puffskein rolling around and knocking something over. She transfigured a few boxes into laundry baskets and put them in the bathrooms. She left her military uniform on the floor. Too tired, she thought, she could always put it away later. She still had about five boxes left in her closet. She'd figure out something. She walked around, everything seemed orderly. She peeked into all the rooms. Nice and clean. She was too tired to eat or sleep. So went back to Fred's room and got the Puffskein.
She lay her bed and threw it up and down. It hummed. Suddenly, it began to hum excitedly. The door downstairs opened. The twins were home.
(Author's Note: The Niffler and Puffskein can both be found in Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander. "A Niffler is (I'm copying straight of the book) a British beast. Fluffy, black, and long-snouted, this burrowing creature has a predilection for anything glittery. Nifflers are often kept by goblins to burrow deep into the earth for treasure. Though the Niffler is gentle and even affectionate, it can be destructive to belongings and should never be kept in a house. Nifflers live in lairs up to twenty feet below the surface and produce six to eight young in a litter." (page 30)
Guess no one ever told George a niffler is a bad pet. It's sure giving Jeanette heartache.even with the magical tunnel.
"A Puffskein is found worldwide. Spherical in shape and covered in soft, custard-colored fur, it is a docile creature that has no objection tobeing cuddled or thrown about. Easy to care for, it emits a low humming noise when contented. From time to time a very long, thin, pink tongue will emerge from the thedephs of the Puffskein and snake through the house searching for food." There's a bit more about the Puffskein's eating habits (it likes eating boogers.) I took the liberty to give the Puffskein eyes. Hope you purists aren't upset.
Please R & R.)
Chapter 3: Purified
Besides Fred and George's horrible housekeeping skills, they also had no aptitude in cooking. It seemed downright hilarious that they could whip up complicated potions with no sweat and yet it was a daily trial to make toast and eggs. They told Jeanette that they usually ate out on the weekdays which took a big chunk out of their profits (together it seemed that they could eat more than a full grown giant) and they visited their parent's home on weekends. At least once a week their mother would bring something and check up on them.
Jeanette, who thought a slight messiness was cozy, was horrified by the sight of the kitchen, the twin's rooms, and the shop after a good look. It had never occurred to the twins to use a mop. They'd used a cleaning spell every once in a while, but never a good scrub. Therefore, the kitchen floor was forever sticky and smelled like old cheese. There were several scorch marks on the table, acid burns on the floor, and a whole chunk of the wall had been taken out (from one of the more flamboyant experiments George had said.) The whole place was also cluttered with cauldrons, trash, takeout boxes, and to make things worse they were breeding some sort of maggot in the trashcans. The area around the trashcan was molding and there was a disgusting crust on some parts of the floor. There was nothing but butterbeer and potions in the fridge.
When Jeanette asked how in the world did their mother put up with this mess, they replied that they had never actually let her see anything beyond the shop and the sitting room where they had enough sense to clean every night.
Their rooms were worse. The drapes drawn low, bedding all over the place, it reeked like old coffee and ink. Empty and almost empty bottles of the Muggle invention called coke and Starbucks littered the floor. The desks were covered with parchment. There were spills and stains all over the place. There were mushrooms growing out of the carpet and they squeaked when she nudged one with her foot!!!!!
The store had no organization whatsoever though Fred and George seemed to know where everything was. The floor was cleanest, because their mother saw it. Since Jeanette had arrived on a Friday, George thought she might as well start on Monday and get settled in. "Girls," he said, "took a notoriously long time to get settled in."
The two also made it clear that under no circumstances was she to pick up the disgusting practice of cleaning and bossing them around about their eating habits. However, while Fred and George were busy talking to Bill and his girlfriend, Fleur Delacore, at dinner at the Leaky Cauldron's, Jeanette got a location of a particularly good store that stocked powerful cleaning potions and of a weekly open air market from the witch sitting close to them.
Early Saturday morning, Jeanette got out of bed long before the twins and set off for the open air market with a basket and a dolly. After getting a nice selection of produce, milk, eggs, and meat, she went to Suds 'R Us and bought a crate of cleaning supplies. She loaded it on the dolly and charmed the thing to follow her to Madame Malkins for a bolt of semi- transparent blue material that would make nice curtains. She charged the bolt of cloth and the new fridge on Weasley's account. They wouldn't find out until next month.
"What are you going to do?" Madame Malkins questioned, looking curiously at the crate.
"Preparing for war." Jeanette replied.
"Against the Dark Lord?" Madame Malkin said incredulously.
"No, the dust bunnies."
"Oh," said the shop owner and generously donated an armful of rags for the cause.
It was ten thirty when she got back to the shop and the twins were still fast asleep. She hid the cleaning supplies in her room, put back the dolly, and cooked four egg omelets for each of the boys. She felt a bit sorry for them. Just imagine almost three months of eating at the Leaky Cauldron two meals a day and six days a week. Didn't they get tired of it?
She began to deep clean her own room. She enchanted a couple of rags to rhythmically scrub the windows. All of her bedding boiled in her cauldron. She had used a few squirts of her Beach Day Bubble Bath and a capful detergent. She used an entire jar of her Euphoric foot scrub (with built in cheering charm) to scour the tiled bathroom.
Borrowing two of Fred and George's cauldrons she made a big batch of lemon scented body scrub and Strawberry Milkshake Moisturizer. While the moisturizer and scrub cooked, she stole a can of shaving cream and made a list of things she had to buy (and would partially charge on the twins' account.)
An automatic washboard and tub. (How in the world did they keep clean before? She cringed at the thought.)
Lots of glass jars (that was for the leftover scrub and moisturizer. She hoped there would still be some left.)
More salt for scrubs
Some pots and pans. (they only had one frying pan)
Paper towels
Plates, forks, cups, and other eating utensils (Barbarians, thought Jeanette.)
Happy Camper anywhere anytime water hose with five settings. (she had a feeling that kitchen crust wasn't going to get off the floor without a fight.)
Lots and lots of boxes (for packing things)
Lots and lots of scrub brushes (to scrub the crust off the kitchen floor. Gross!)
Lots and lots of shaving cream
Fred and George barely caught sight of Jeanette all day. She was either in her room, shopping, or going up and down the stairs. The entire hallway reeked of pleasant smelling substances. She declined both lunch and dinner. They were a bit worried but stayed as far as possible from the vile hallway. If they only knew that she had two pounds of blueberries in her room, they would not have been half as sympathetic. They never expected anything.
At ten the next morning, the twins apparated to their parent's home. They told her that they would be back around 10 at night. As soon as they left, she changed into a military uniform (which she had transfigured from some of the cloth she bought yesterday) and launched her first attack. She had cleaned all ten of their cauldrons the night before while they had been at dinner. The sitting room was also clean and repaired. She stowed them all in the basement now with the three new washing boards (one couldn't be enough) and a new fridge. Five cauldrons were immediately occupied with cleaning dirty clothes from the twins rooms and bedding. Another two cauldrons were boiling all the glass bottles she found in their rooms. It amazed her that they chose to use the kitchen as a lab instead of the basement. Boys, she sighed.
Next, she moved all the potions from the fridge in the kitchen to the fridge in the basement. She stocked the kitchen fridge with real food which she had charged on the Weasely's account. How they stayed so lean and trim on junk food was beyond her and she was slightly jealous. She levitated the trashcan with the maggots surround it with an inescapable charm and also stowed it in the basement. She boxed all the twins papers, books, and anything else that wasn't trash. George had a quite an impressive collection of magical creature droppings and hair clippings. His dragon dropping was about the size of a tire. She charmed all the stores boxes, cans, bottles, and jars to hop into boxes.
After she moved all the boxes to the basement which was getting very crowded. The boxes had also been charged to the Weasley account. She dumped the clothes into the washtubs and air dried the bottles. Then she had lunch (ham sandwich and strawberries.) She set up a few clothes lines and dried the clothes.
Now it was time for phase two. She sealed her room and the basement, opened all the windows and doors, hooked up the hose, and had a grand time flooding the apartment and shop. The water drained out the front the door. She used about a quarter of the cauldron of body scrub (self-scrubbing of course) on the bathrooms, half on the kitchen, the rest on the store floor (the bad boys had used illusion charms and the floor was a lot dirtier then she had previously thought.) She had to use the rest of her Euphoric foot scrub (also self scrubbing) on the floor too. She shut the front door. People were gazing curiously in through the front door. She saturated the carpet with Stain Be Gone and her entire supply of wonderful little cornmeal and baking soda Bath Biscuits were skating in the bathtubs and sinks. Her Peach Passion exfoliating wipes were break dancing with the furniture, counters, and other wooden surfaces. The rags busied themselves with windows and mirrors. Conveniently, blocking the view from inquisitive onlookers.
Using rain boots, she journeyed to the basement and conjured a small whirlwind to dry the clothes. Then she got them to fold themselves and jump inside the now dry cauldrons.
It was fourteen and a half hundred hours by the time she was ready for the third phase. She hooked up the hose again and washed away most of the dirt. She hosed down the carpets and watched the mossy muddy looking water run down the wood stairs and out the door. She hosed the kitchen and watched the reddish brown river run down the stairs. She hosed the scrub in the bathroom down the toilet. The twins' water bill would go through the roof this month. She hosed until the store floor was clean.
But now it was the time for the deep cleaning and purging. Phase four started at fifteen and a quarter hundred hours. She conjured two whirlwinds in the twins bedrooms and warded the doors. She dumped all the detergents into her cauldron and set loose her army of (three boxes) a hundred and fifty scrub brushes. She had only charged two boxes on the Weasleys.
Marching in a four files, they dunked themselves into the cleaning solution and separated into divisions of twenty-five. One was split between the bathrooms. One division began to scrub the stairs. Two worked on the kitchen. (including the ceiling and walls which were still filthy. Jeanette had been afraid to use scrub for fear of taking off paint.) The last two took the floor.
Using three parts shaving cream and one part Strawberry Milkshake moisturizer, she used her loofah gloves to give kitchen furniture and banister full body massages. She warded the carpeted hallway and set a whirlwind lose in it. She then went down and stood on the store counter like Mickey Mouse in her favorite Muggle movie Fantasia except she didn't fall asleep. She made curtains instead (with her wand of course.)
At sixteen hundred hours, she stopped the whirlwinds and sent the clothes filled cauldrons floating up the stairs and into their respective rooms. One of the scrub brushes got carried away and tried to attack one of the cauldrons. She reassigned it to the floor. Then she sent some of packed things and glass bottles up too.
At sixteen and a half hundred hours, she covered the hallways carpet with a water repelling charm and hosed the kitchen, stairs, and store floor one last time. The brushes washed themselves with the water and also the cauldron before retreating with the cauldron and most of the gloves to her room. She rinsed out the bathrooms.
She locked herself in George's bedroom while she set a whirlwind in the house. She put away his clothes in his closet, put his very few books on his desk, organized his dung collection on the walls, put up some curtains, and made his bed. When she was finally finished and having the loofah gloves massage the shaving cream and strawberry lotion into the bed and desk. She thought she heard soft whimpering under the bed. She found a terrified but very clean niffler hiding under his bed. It wouldn't come out.
She left the box of papers on his desk for George to sort out. At eighteen hundred hours hours, Jeanette was exhausted but there was more to do. She dissolved the whirlwind and mournfully unbottled the last of her lotion on the floor and all of the twin's shaving cream (they could always use her scented shower gel tomorrow morning) and had nine out of her ten gloves massage it into the wooden floor. The tenth pair of gloves carried two handfuls of the mixture to rub into Fred's bed and desk.
Boxes and boxes stacked themselves on the store counter. She would organize it later. She staggered into the clean kitchen, the tiles were white instead of the beige before the scrubbing. A few boxes followed her and sat themselves down on the table. She opened the boxes and dishes, cups, and silverware shot out and began putting themselves into the cabinets. Wary of the flying saucers, she carefully grabbed a few apples for the niffler and herself.
When she passed Fred's room, she thought she heard a low humming sound. She glanced inside. A long thin pink snake seemed to be coming from out of the closet and trying to eat the makeshift varnish on the bed frame. One of the gloves was furiously trying to slap the snake away, but it was adamant.
Putting the apples in her pockets, she went to investigate. The pink snake was wet and slimy when she touched it. It seemed to be as repulsed as she was, because it pulled deeper into the closet and disappeared. Cautiously, she stuck her hand out in the area it had disappeared and felt cloth. She pulled it off and uncovered a cage with a very fluffy Puffskein in it. Using her wand to slice an apple into quarters, she pushed the pieces into the cage. She hung up the invisibility cloak. Then she picked up the cage and put it in George's room.
She rolled an apple under the bed and she was surprised when it rolled back out. The niffler had an attitude. She smirked. The Puffskein began to hum again and a snout emerged from under the bed sniffing. A small, black furry creature soon crept out and ignoring Jeanette, went to greet the Puffskein who hummed louder. She let the Puffskein out of the cage and it began to roll around in the room.
Jeanette decided to leave the friends together and closed the door behind her. Puffskein seemed mischievous. She went back to Fred's room. It seemed that the Puffskein had eaten most of the lotion, so she opened a bottle of Cocoa Crème and poured some into one of the gloves. She opened the cauldron and sent the clothes into the closet, she made the bed, put up the curtains, put the box of paper and books on the desk, and went downstairs.
It was now nineteen hundred and a half hours. She had to organize the store. She opened the door to let the strawberry scented room to air out, but covered the door with an opaque charm. Then she opened the boxes. Like a conductor, she began to wave her wand. The cans, bottles, little boxes, and containers began to organize themselves into little groups. Pranks to the right, things you did to yourself on the left. She ate her apple while she watched.
She charmed the side wall to produce a line of hooks to hang the invisibility hats on. She then sent the products onto the shelves by alphabetical order. Canary cremes toward the front and puking pastilles toward the back. Finally, she transfigured the boxes into signs that labeled each shelf. For instance the first row on the right said "Angel Food (the victim sprouted wings, a halo, was levitated six feet above the ground, and was forced to sing hymns) --Dinosorpor" (It was a tasteless powder. Put it in drinks and your friend and he'll hallucinate that's he's being chased by terrible lizards.)
She closed the front door and put a curtain over the glass. Then she went down to the basement. She noticed the cauldrons were still in the rooms and she called them down. Soon the gleaming cauldrons were against the wall and so were the washboards. The basement was the only dusty place in the whole house, but she was too tired to clean it now. Besides the boys needed some dirty refuge.
The kitchen was clean and neat except the boxes piled on the table and the hole in the wall. She fixed the hole and transfigured the boxes into small baskets and put them next to the sink. She'd put soap and lotion in them later. Around seventy empty glass bottles were lying on her floor. Some had been beer butter glasses and others had been filled with lotion and scrubs. Using a scouring charm, she cleaned the dirty ones, put them all in her cauldron and shoved it into her closet. She took out one scrub brush and sent the rest into her closet. The gloves were piled on her bed. She sent all but three pairs into her chest. She was going to have a nice warm bath, but first she had to check on the animals.
When she opened the door, she wanted to cry. George's carpet had dirt tracked everywhere. The animals were asleep on the bed, the coverlet was dirty. Where had the dirt come from? She peeked under the bed, a flap of carpet had been pulled back revealing a magical tunnel. She decided she hated nifflers. In fact, she hated George who put the tunnel in the first place.
She hit the cage with an engorging charm, grabbed the sleeping niffler by the tail (the charming fellow tried to nip her), stuffed it into the cage and locked it. The wonderfully trained Puffskein had an accident on the carpet. She put the puffskein in a bubble charm so it couldn't use its tongue. It hummed stupidly. Then she scoured the carpet. It took three tries to get the dirt out, but not the smell. She threw out the apple cores.
"If you were mine," she told the animals. "I would have spanked you silly." No wonder her father had never let her have a pet. They were infuriating. She encased the niffler in a bubble charm and levitated it. "I hate you." She told it. "Now, I am going to have my much needed bath. "YOU," she addressed the Puffskein who was still humming idiotically, "shut up." She kicked it to her bathroom.
She drew a relaxing lavender bath, washed the gloves. Once clean they immediately began to give her a massage. She thought she'd pass out right there. She finally noticed the Puffskein when it tried to roll out the door and kept bonking against the doorframe. It really was quite dim. She picked it up and adhered it the bathtub. Turning on some relaxing Mozart, she removed the sweaty, sticky, and grimy military uniform. She would have to conjure a laundry basket later. She got into the warm tub and leaned against the Puffskein. It made a wonderful pillow. The gloves rubbed her feet. Another pair wet her hair, while yet another brought over a small amphora of rose scented shampoo. After returning the amphora back to the cabinet. The third pair of began to work it into her hair while the second pair rubbed her sore shoulders and arms.
She must have fallen asleep at some time, because when she woke up she was wrinkly from the water and the gloves were shaking her. She drained the tub and took a refreshing cold shower. Then she remembered the Puffskein. Wickedly, she undid the bubble charm and sprayed it with the cold water. The silence charm kept it quiet and it also kept its tongue in check. It rolled around trying to avoid the water and she hosed it. Finally, it began to cry big purple tears and she felt guilty. She took off the silence charm. She got the gloves to pat it dry. Then she charmed them into cleaning the bathroom. They didn't do a very orderly job, but she was tired.
It was nine twenty. She had only slept about forty five minutes. She put on a pair of pajamas. She thought they were cute. She had transfigured them two days ago. They were made pale blue cotton cloth. It was a spaghetti strap top with fist sized picture of what looked like a fat red baby chicken sleeping on a cloud and matching pants with pastel purple clouds on them. The bird was supposed to be a phoenix, but Jeanette was never really the artistic type. She brushed her teeth, and put another bubble charm on the Puffskein. She put the pets in their owner's rooms. She adhered the Puffskein to the bed. Though she had forgiven it and that horrible, stupid, clumsy, filthy niffler. Okay, so maybe she hadn't quite forgiven the niffler, but she didn't want the Puffskein rolling around and knocking something over. She transfigured a few boxes into laundry baskets and put them in the bathrooms. She left her military uniform on the floor. Too tired, she thought, she could always put it away later. She still had about five boxes left in her closet. She'd figure out something. She walked around, everything seemed orderly. She peeked into all the rooms. Nice and clean. She was too tired to eat or sleep. So went back to Fred's room and got the Puffskein.
She lay her bed and threw it up and down. It hummed. Suddenly, it began to hum excitedly. The door downstairs opened. The twins were home.
(Author's Note: The Niffler and Puffskein can both be found in Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander. "A Niffler is (I'm copying straight of the book) a British beast. Fluffy, black, and long-snouted, this burrowing creature has a predilection for anything glittery. Nifflers are often kept by goblins to burrow deep into the earth for treasure. Though the Niffler is gentle and even affectionate, it can be destructive to belongings and should never be kept in a house. Nifflers live in lairs up to twenty feet below the surface and produce six to eight young in a litter." (page 30)
Guess no one ever told George a niffler is a bad pet. It's sure giving Jeanette heartache.even with the magical tunnel.
"A Puffskein is found worldwide. Spherical in shape and covered in soft, custard-colored fur, it is a docile creature that has no objection tobeing cuddled or thrown about. Easy to care for, it emits a low humming noise when contented. From time to time a very long, thin, pink tongue will emerge from the thedephs of the Puffskein and snake through the house searching for food." There's a bit more about the Puffskein's eating habits (it likes eating boogers.) I took the liberty to give the Puffskein eyes. Hope you purists aren't upset.
Please R & R.)