Ch 3. CHICKEN POT PIE (and soup)
I know all you Kurama fans are all upset about chapter 2 but don't worry chapter 4, KURAMA'S REVENGE is on its way. Oh and just to warn you I was really, really mad and violent when I wrote most of this fic. BEWARE!
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Brainwashed Hiei: YAY! Entertainment!
Everyone: STUPID! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TELL HIM OUR PLAN!
Kymara: Oh well, I guess that now that he knows were gonna have to kill him.
*Saya takes out a gallon of gas and a lighter*
Kymara: NO! No gas! You don't want to but poison in our food.
*Saya tosses the gas and takes out olive oil*
Koenma: FOOD!?! You're going to eat me? *everyone nods* But-but I taste bad.
Botan: Sure. that's what they ALL say! I know you're lying! You taste real good.
(A/N: Ewww. *chill* *chill* Bad thoughts, bad thoughts)
Koenma: Botan, shush! You're gonna get me eaten!
Botan: DUH! When you go to cannibalistic ceremonies "people" get eaten!
Koenma: Why am I gonna get eaten, can't you eat Kurama?
Botan: No. We can't do that, he's plotting revenge. See.
*Everyone looks toward the far corner where Kurama's busy plotting revenge*
Kurama (too busy plotting revenge to notice everyone staring at him): .I'll trick her into doing this and then I'll corner her over here and then I'll do this and I'LL RIP OUT HER HEART! MUWAHAHAHA! .wait. she's a vampire, she doesn't have a heart.
Saya: I'm a half vampire, stupid!
Kurama: Does that mean you have half a heart?
Saya: No.
Kurama: Damn you! *mumbles* stupid vampires.
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Koemna: Oookay. that was weird.
Botan: Now do you see why we can't eat Kurama?
Koemna: No, but if you say so.
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Poo: Poo, poo, pooo, poo!
Saya: Are you sure master? It is a hard dish to make without chicken. And plus, who ever heard of eating that at a birthday party?
Poo: POO, POO!
Saya: Um. *she says quickly* I'm so sorry master. I didn't mean to question your orders!
*Saya starts her search for chicken. She spots Koemna*
Hehe, Hehe.
*she unties Koemna off his roasty thingy*
Koemna: Why thank you Saya. If you hadn't untied me I would have soon become today's late night special. Um. Saya, why are we going to the kitchen? Um. Um. Ogre! HELP!
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=Meanwhile at the spirit world=
Ogre: Hum. *he scratches his head* did I hear something? *he shrugs and gets back to work*
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=back to Kurama's house=
Koemna (while being dragged): HELP! HELP! HELLLLP!
WHAM! *the kitchen door hits him on the head and knocks him unconscious*
Saya: Thank god! I thought he was never gonna shut up! Hum. What knife should I use? Hum. ALL OF THEM!
Slice, slice, slice!
Chop, chop, chop!
Stab, stab!
Yusuke: for some weird reason I don't want to go into the kitchen.
Saya (in the kitchen): now all I need now is some thing to add some flavor.
PUSH! *Yusuke gets pushed in* OPF! SPLATTER!
Yusuke: Ewww! Gross! You could have at least tried to be clean when you chopped up pacifier breath. Wow, who would have known so much blood was in such a little guy? I could swim in this. Cool, I'm swimming. YAY!
Saya: SHUT UP! You act like you haven't killed anyone in your life.
Yusuke: Well umm. you see that's the thing. well, how do I say this. I get PAYED by these Japanese producers to "act" like I'm killing people and then the rest is just ketchup.
Saya: ohh. okay, in that case I'll kill you cuz I like killing people rather then "act" like I kill. *cough (and also cuz I ran out of chicken)* so ummm. DIE!
SPLATTER!
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=after a while=
Saya (calls out to Kurama): Hey, Kurama! I hope you don't mind if I borrow your stove and your easy back oven!
Kurama: a matter a fact I DO!
Saya: too bad then I already used them! *Saya opens the kitchen door, everyone who was listening through the door fall in*
Saya: get up everyone you can lye on the floor later cuz right nows dinner time! Oh and Botan.
Botan: yeah.
Saya: could you make Yusuke's and Koemna's ride back to the spirit world a bumpy one.
Botan: as long as you save me some chicken! *Botan grabs her oar and soars out the window*
Saya: yeah right. Like I'm gonna save her some chicken.
*Saya takes out a huge pot of chicken soup and a chicken pot pie*
Saya: Kurama, the pie is for you; it's a way of me saying I'm sorry for eating part of you.
Kurama: Why thank you Saya. And all this time I thought you were~ OWW! YOU BITCH! YOU DROPPED THE SPOON ON MY TOE! I'VE HAD IT WITH! YOU HAVE TO DIE NOW!
Saya: oh how are you going to that if I'm HALF VAMPIRE!
Kurama: WITH THIS! *takes something out of his pocket*
*everyone gasps*
Saya: AHHHH!
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A/N: Cliffy! Muwahahahahahahaha! I told you this chapter was a little more violent than my other chapters. You Kurama fans must be happy that Kurama's gonna get his revenge. Hehe, Hehe, bi Saya!
~Kymara
I know all you Kurama fans are all upset about chapter 2 but don't worry chapter 4, KURAMA'S REVENGE is on its way. Oh and just to warn you I was really, really mad and violent when I wrote most of this fic. BEWARE!
-------------------------------------------------
Brainwashed Hiei: YAY! Entertainment!
Everyone: STUPID! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TELL HIM OUR PLAN!
Kymara: Oh well, I guess that now that he knows were gonna have to kill him.
*Saya takes out a gallon of gas and a lighter*
Kymara: NO! No gas! You don't want to but poison in our food.
*Saya tosses the gas and takes out olive oil*
Koenma: FOOD!?! You're going to eat me? *everyone nods* But-but I taste bad.
Botan: Sure. that's what they ALL say! I know you're lying! You taste real good.
(A/N: Ewww. *chill* *chill* Bad thoughts, bad thoughts)
Koenma: Botan, shush! You're gonna get me eaten!
Botan: DUH! When you go to cannibalistic ceremonies "people" get eaten!
Koenma: Why am I gonna get eaten, can't you eat Kurama?
Botan: No. We can't do that, he's plotting revenge. See.
*Everyone looks toward the far corner where Kurama's busy plotting revenge*
Kurama (too busy plotting revenge to notice everyone staring at him): .I'll trick her into doing this and then I'll corner her over here and then I'll do this and I'LL RIP OUT HER HEART! MUWAHAHAHA! .wait. she's a vampire, she doesn't have a heart.
Saya: I'm a half vampire, stupid!
Kurama: Does that mean you have half a heart?
Saya: No.
Kurama: Damn you! *mumbles* stupid vampires.
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Koemna: Oookay. that was weird.
Botan: Now do you see why we can't eat Kurama?
Koemna: No, but if you say so.
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Poo: Poo, poo, pooo, poo!
Saya: Are you sure master? It is a hard dish to make without chicken. And plus, who ever heard of eating that at a birthday party?
Poo: POO, POO!
Saya: Um. *she says quickly* I'm so sorry master. I didn't mean to question your orders!
*Saya starts her search for chicken. She spots Koemna*
Hehe, Hehe.
*she unties Koemna off his roasty thingy*
Koemna: Why thank you Saya. If you hadn't untied me I would have soon become today's late night special. Um. Saya, why are we going to the kitchen? Um. Um. Ogre! HELP!
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=Meanwhile at the spirit world=
Ogre: Hum. *he scratches his head* did I hear something? *he shrugs and gets back to work*
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=back to Kurama's house=
Koemna (while being dragged): HELP! HELP! HELLLLP!
WHAM! *the kitchen door hits him on the head and knocks him unconscious*
Saya: Thank god! I thought he was never gonna shut up! Hum. What knife should I use? Hum. ALL OF THEM!
Slice, slice, slice!
Chop, chop, chop!
Stab, stab!
Yusuke: for some weird reason I don't want to go into the kitchen.
Saya (in the kitchen): now all I need now is some thing to add some flavor.
PUSH! *Yusuke gets pushed in* OPF! SPLATTER!
Yusuke: Ewww! Gross! You could have at least tried to be clean when you chopped up pacifier breath. Wow, who would have known so much blood was in such a little guy? I could swim in this. Cool, I'm swimming. YAY!
Saya: SHUT UP! You act like you haven't killed anyone in your life.
Yusuke: Well umm. you see that's the thing. well, how do I say this. I get PAYED by these Japanese producers to "act" like I'm killing people and then the rest is just ketchup.
Saya: ohh. okay, in that case I'll kill you cuz I like killing people rather then "act" like I kill. *cough (and also cuz I ran out of chicken)* so ummm. DIE!
SPLATTER!
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=after a while=
Saya (calls out to Kurama): Hey, Kurama! I hope you don't mind if I borrow your stove and your easy back oven!
Kurama: a matter a fact I DO!
Saya: too bad then I already used them! *Saya opens the kitchen door, everyone who was listening through the door fall in*
Saya: get up everyone you can lye on the floor later cuz right nows dinner time! Oh and Botan.
Botan: yeah.
Saya: could you make Yusuke's and Koemna's ride back to the spirit world a bumpy one.
Botan: as long as you save me some chicken! *Botan grabs her oar and soars out the window*
Saya: yeah right. Like I'm gonna save her some chicken.
*Saya takes out a huge pot of chicken soup and a chicken pot pie*
Saya: Kurama, the pie is for you; it's a way of me saying I'm sorry for eating part of you.
Kurama: Why thank you Saya. And all this time I thought you were~ OWW! YOU BITCH! YOU DROPPED THE SPOON ON MY TOE! I'VE HAD IT WITH! YOU HAVE TO DIE NOW!
Saya: oh how are you going to that if I'm HALF VAMPIRE!
Kurama: WITH THIS! *takes something out of his pocket*
*everyone gasps*
Saya: AHHHH!
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A/N: Cliffy! Muwahahahahahahaha! I told you this chapter was a little more violent than my other chapters. You Kurama fans must be happy that Kurama's gonna get his revenge. Hehe, Hehe, bi Saya!
~Kymara