Title: Your Smile
Author : Leona
Warning :Shonen ai, AU, OOC. If you don't like it, don't read it.
Disclaimer : Gundam boys not mine. *snift*
Pairings : 1x2
I've been watching you awhile
Since you walked into my life
Monday morning, when I first heard you speak to me
I was too shy to let you know
Much too scared to let my feelings show
But you shielded me and that was the beginning
Heero knelt beside the hospital bed which Duo laid.
His amethyst eyes closed and his face was calm like nothing happened, nothing to be suffered, so different from his wake form. Heero touched Duo's cheek lightly.
"Please Duo...wake up...don't leave me now. I'll make it up to you. I promise...just wake up...please..." he pleaded but the braided boy still closed his eyes.
Heero held back his tears. Everything had seemed alright until yesterday…
~Three years ago (Heero's POV)~
I packed my things to the duffel bag while my eyes glanced to the unusually quiet boy. Duo was sitting quietly on the edge of the bed, looking at me. He seemed to worry about something.
"What?" I asked.
He snaps out from whatever he was thinking and lowered his head. "Nothing..." he answered.
"Hn." I shrugged. "Whatever." I murmured before I resumed packing again. After a moment or two I can feel his gaze at me again. Then he lowered his head again…then looked at me before he lowered his head again. He'd been doing that for sometime now but I ignored him.
"Heero..." At last he SAID something.
"What?"
"What will you do from now on?" he asked me.
"Hn. I don't know. Maybe I'll join The Preventers."
He quiet for a moment. "…can I go with you?" he asked quietly. His eyes open wide, looking at me hopefully. A nervous look marked his beautiful face. /Wait a minute...beautiful?? He's my friend, no more than that!/ I shook my head at the thought but Duo seemed to take it the wrong way. His face fell as he lowered his gaze to the floor again.
"As long as you didn't do anything stupid" I said quickly. I didn't know why but I didn't like that _expression on his face.
His face lit up and he had a huge grin on his face. "Hai!" he exclaimed happily as he bouncing around the room. I turned my back to him and smiled.
Now at least we can talk
In another way
And though I try, I love you
Is just so hard to say
If only I could be strong
And say the words I feel
~Three months later (still flashback)~
Duo lay on the couch, watching the television while I typed at the table as usual. "Come on Hee-chan watch the TV with me!" he said that for the seventh time this night.
"I said NO, Duo" I replied.
"But Hee~ro.." he whined.
"No!" Why did he like the TV so much?? I never see anything interesting and except for the news, all the shows on the TV were trash!
"Fine!" Duo pouted. "See if I ever ask you again!" Folding his arms to his chest, he turned back to the TV and continued to watch by himself.
I watch the lonely figure at the couch and felt guilty. He just wanted me to relax once for awhile and I had snapped at him. I could see his reflection from the monitor of my laptop. Suddenly he looked so small and lonely in my eyes. I looked at the screen then Duo. Sighing, I saved my work and close the laptop. My work can wait. I walked quietly over to the couch and sat beside him.
Duo widened his eyes as he saw me. His face was priceless. It was mix of shock and happiness. I tried my best to suppress my smirk as I leaned back onto the cushion. He grinned and it made my heart warm to know that I was the one who made him happy. "I guess I can use some entertainment for a little awhile." I said answering his unasked question.
I was wrong about the television. Actually it's quite entertaining although I'd never admit it. "Hn. I've had enough" I said as I stood up. I was about to walk back to my abandoned laptop when Duo held my hand and looked up at me.
"Please stay with me a little longer" he said.
Looking at the almost teary eyes, I sighed and sat back down. "Ten minutes" I mumbled.
He smiled and rest his head to my shoulder while his arms circling my waist. I've been used to this position for awhile now. He liked to do that. Not that I minded. Don't get me wrong, it's just because he's my…friend. But somehow it felt so right. Lost in my feelings, I closed my eyes and kissed his hair softly. His hair felt like a silk!
He looked up at me and looking adorably confused. I had never done that before and before I could think clearly, I pulled him closer and kissed his lips. He didn't respond at first, (he was shocked I think) but then he relaxed and began to kiss me back. I trailed my lips down his neck, making him moan a little. I scooped him into my arms and brought him to my bedroom, my lips never leaving his. I put him on the bed with me on top him. When I tried to unbuttoned his priest shirt, he pushed me away.
My bleeding heart begins to race
When I turn to see your face
I remember that sweet dream which you told me
I just wanted to be with you
So we could make the dream come true
And you smiled at me and that was the beginning
"I-I'm sorry." He said "I never done this before..." he blushed and for the first time I noticed his fear.
Cursing myself, I get off of him and stood up. "Sorry" I said as I started to leave, but he captured my right hand for the second time this night.
"Don't go…" he whispered before he pulled me back so I fell on top him. "It's okay." He whispered again. "If it makes you happy…I don't mind…just…just do it." He said and closed his eyes.
"Are you sure? We don't have to do this" I said as I brushed away his bangs from his closed eyes.
He opened his eyes and smiled. "It's okay Heero. I want you" with that he pulled me down and kissed me gain. I gave up and let my emotion take over.
Duo snuggled closer to me after we made love. No…I don't even know if I could call it making love. I still didn't understand my feelings. While I was thinking, Duo draped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer. "I love you" he whispered.
I froze at his statement. He loved me? I knew I should be surprised when my best friend confessed his love to me but somehow I always knew that he loved me. The way he looked at me when he thought I didn't see him and the way he always panicked when I got hurt, even if it was just a small cut. Okay…he loves me but what about me? Sure I care about him but…
Gently he turned my head to him and smiled. "It's alright. You don't have to say it back. I love you. That's all that matters." He kissed my lips softly. "I know you'll meet your soul mate and leave someday. But until then please stay with me" he pleaded. "I won't asked for anything"
He looked at me with those big violet eyes. I had to admit that he looked beautiful. Well, if he won't asked for anything I guess I could try it. Instead of answering, I pulled him closer and I could feel him smiled against my chest.
Now at last we can talk
In another way
And though I try, I love you
Is just so hard to say
If only I could be strong
And say the words I feel
~Two months later (still flashback)~
I sighed as I sat down on the couch of The Preventer's office. "Rough day?" Wufei asked from his seat.
"Hn." It's true. The mission was more complicated than I thought. Fortunately, I could accomplish it with minor damage. I leaned back on the couch and looked up the clock. My eyes widen as I saw the clock. Shit, it's 11.00 P.M already. I promised Duo that I'll go home early. I grabbed my jacket and stumbled to my car quickly.
As I entered the apartment we lived currently, I was greeted by the sound of television and the sight of Duo curled up on the couch. Obviously he fell asleep while waiting for me. Gently, I picked him up and brought him to the bedroom. I undressed my work clothes and was about to sleep next to Duo when some noise disturbed me. Then I remember that I forgot to turn off the television.
Sighing, I began to walk but was stopped as Duo held my hand. "You're late" he murmured sleepily.
"Aa. Gomen." That surprised me, I had never apologized before. But I didn't regret it, when I saw Duo speechless. I kneeled beside our bed and kissed his forehead. "Sleep" I commanded, then I got up again and tried to move Duo's hand but he wont let me go.
"Stay" he insisted, pouting slightly, looking so incredibly cute. I leaned forward and captured his lips with mine for a steamy kiss. He pulled me on top of him and soon the television was forgotten.
~One year later (still flashback)~
At Quatre's house
I stood on the balcony alone. The air on Earth always felt so fresh. I should come here more often. I was enjoying the view when the sound of laughter distracted me. Duo and Quatre were joking under the tree. I could see them clearly from my place. I used to think that those two were together. They were awfully close.
"Yuy" Someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around in an instant. Wufei stood right before me. Shit, when did he get close to me?
"Wufei" I said calmly as usual. At the time like this I'm glad that Dr. J had trained me to hide my emotions.
"You're getting careless, Yuy." he commented. Even though Wufei and I worked together as Preventers, we hardly talked.
"Hn" I growled and moved past him but instead I bumped into him, making him fall, landing on his butt with a loud thump.
"Sorry, are you okay?" I helped him to stand up.
Wufei winced a bit. "Uh-huh…I'm okay..." he smiled. "You have changed, Yuy"
"Hn" I snorted.
"It's true you know. You're getting softer-" his words struck me and I left immediately before he finished his sentence. "-for good…" Wufei finished to no one.
I walked back to my room and closed the door tightly. Wufei's right. I have changed. It's not good. Not for me. I couldn't let my guard down. War could be repeated any time and I didn't need this 'softer' thing getting in my way. It could kill me. I have to leave Duo. It would be the best for both of us. Yes…That's the best solution.
**
"I'll leave" I said as soon as I packed my things. To my surprise, Duo didn't say anything. He just looked at me with his sad but understanding _expression, like he had expected all of this for a long time. Then he smiled at me. "So I guess this is it then." He said.
"You didn't mind?" I asked and he shook his head lightly.
" Iie…I told you that night. I won't ask you for anything." He said, lowering his gaze. "…hold me please? Just this once" he asked softly.
I wrapped my arms around his slim waist and hug him tightly. I could feel his small frame shiver slightly. Slowly, I raised his chin to kiss him for the last time but he pushed me away.
"Don't" he said with a trembling voice. "Just-just leave, please"
I nodded as I pick my bag and leave. I have done the right thing, haven't I? Then why do I feel so empty?
Tell me what you're thinking of
Tell me if you love me not
I have so much I long to ask you
But now the chance has gone
~Present (Two months after Heero leaving Duo)~
Heero wished that he never left that day. He had regretted it as soon as he left Duo. But his pride wouldn't permit him to go back to Duo and now he was paying for it.
/Please wake up Duo/ he would do anything to make Duo wake from his slumber. He would even quit being a Preventer. Duo had always asked him to find another job that wasn't so dangerous. /Just give me one more chance./ He looked down at Duo as he recalled the day Quatre called him.
~Flashback~
"Heero?" Quatre's pale face greeted him in front of my door. His eyes red and he looked serious.
"Quatre" I nodded at him and gestured him to enter my apartment, but he just stood there. "What's wrong?" I asked.
"Duo…he's…" his voice trembling.
"Duo? What about him?" I asked quickly. I hadn't seen him since that day. I never had the courage to meet him personally. I was afraid that if I meet him, I would lose my control and kiss him. God, I miss him so much.
"He- last night we went to a bar and he got drunk and when I came over to his apartment this morning…he…he…"he trailed off and sobbed a little.
"Just tell me what's wrong with him!" I yelled in fear and frustration.
"He tried to kill himself." Tears were flowing down from the blonde's eyes.
Gasping, I leaned back at the wall and tried to control myself. No…he couldn't… "Is-is he?" even my voice were shaking along with my body.
"No. I found him right at the time. He's at the Wing Hospital now." As he said the place, I found myself running past Quatre. My mind was completely blank. All I knew was that I had to see Duo immediately.
"Heero!" I could hear Quatre yelled behind me. "Room number 149!"
-end of flashback-
I clasped Duo's hand tightly and leaned down to kiss his lips lightly. They still felt so soft against, my. I sighed. I couldn't do anything right now. I couldn't turn back the time. But I'll be waiting for him 'till he opens his eyes. No matter how long it takes because I believe in him. Duo is strong.
Suddenly I felt a movement form my hand. Duo's hand was moving a little. I looked up at his face and saw he opened his eyes inch by inch. "Duo?" I called him hopefully.
Slowly, he opened he turned his face to me. He widen his eyes as he saw me as if he never expected it then he grinned at me. "Hey, Heero" he greeted.
I ignored his greeting and carefully lift his left wrist. "Why Duo?"
Looking at his bandaged wrist, he shrugged and closed his eyes again. "I don't know…I guess I drank too much and did something stupid." He chuckled.
I was surprised by his answer. "Don't talk like your life doesn't mean anything!" I snapped at him after a few seconds. "Because it does! Please don't do this again." I kissed his bandaged wrist gently.
He sighed softly. "O-okay. If that what you want…"
"Good, because I won't let you do that again"
"Wha-" I shut him by kissing him on the lips. I smiled as he melted against me.
He looked confused when I broke the kiss. "I love you. I'm sorry that I never told you before."
"No-no. You DON'T love me" he shook his head stubbornly.
"It's true" I said but he kept shaking his head.
"No, you don't. Nobody loves me…no one wants a street rat like me…especially not you" he whispered.
Suddenly it became clear to me. He never asked me for anything because he thought that no one would love him, that I would never love him back. Duo no baka. How could he think that no one would love, especially someone as beautiful as him.
"Duo…" I began but he looked away from me. I cupped his cheeks and turned his face to me. "Duo look at me. Don't you trust me?" I asked.
He just looked at me for a few minutes before his face broke into a smile. Not the usual grin or a false smile but a genuine smile. Then I realized that I had never truly seen him smile.
"Really?" he asked shyly.
"Aa…I love you" He smiled that smile again. I love his smile and I intended to keep that smile forever on the braided boy. "Now go to sleep. You need a rest" I said. He yawned and closed his eyes.
I brushed away his chestnut bangs and for the first time in my life I felt peace.
When your picture fades each day
In my heart the memory stays
Though we rant, you're always smiling
And I will hold it long
~owari~
The song is not mine. It's Xenosaga's lyric.
So how's the story? I hope you like it. Anyway please review *big puppy eyes*