Kenneth Irons was trying to be patient as he waited for the car to reach
it's destination, but was failing miserably. He had tried drinking wine
earlier, but had ended up spilling most of it onto the Dinning room table.
As he sat in his limo, he had to hold himself down to keep from bouncing in
his seat. He pressed the intercom next to him. "Driver, can you not hurry
up?!"
"I am trying to get you there as fast as possible, sir." He answered.
His attorney, Anthony Cruise, Re-adjusted his tie nervously for the umpteenth time. "Mr. Irons, I can not see why you are joyed to make this trip. It will surely not be pleasurable." He told him as he spotted the building coming up and grabbed his brief case.
"Oh, it will." He told him.
"Sir, we have arrived." The driver told them.
As he began to break, he heard Irons frantically trying to open the door, which he was unable to open due to the child lock security that Ian had made sure the driver put on.
"Let me out! Let me out! Let me out!" He screamed.
"Patience is a virtue, Kenneth." Anthony reminded him.
"Screw patience, let me at her!" Kenneth whined. The driver went over and pressed the button on the key chain and unlocked the door. He reached to open the door for his employer.
SMACK!
Irons jumped out of the limo, smashing the driver with the door as it flew open. "Kenneth!" Anthony called after him as he scrambled out of the limo and helped the driver to his feet and quickly tried to convince him to not sue.
Irons ran past the receptionist, barging into the room to the side. She tried pulling on his coat to stop him, but he just let her pull it off and continued running as she tripped to the ground.
He saw a set of tall doors at the end of the hall. 'Okay, me being the smarty pants that I am, knows very well that she awaits me beyond those doors. And being the genius that I am, I know that the doors are locked. I must rush at them to gain entrance. Okay, tapping into assassin/stalker strength that my ward was trained in. A one, two, three...'
"Whoopee dee!" With his war cry shouted, he ran full speed ahead toward the doors and crashed into them, allowing him entrance into the room.
Dazed, Irons took the bucket that had fallen on his head off and looked around. "Curses." He murmured as he slowly rose, hitting his head on a shelf as he did. He stumbled out of the janitor's closet and into the hallway.
"Dude, are you okay?"
His eyes went wide as his goddess of pop music stood before him in a pair of leather pants and a baby tank that showed off her midriff.
"BRITTNEY!!!!!!" He cried out happily as he tried to walk towards her for a hug. He tripped over a mop and ended up a mess at her feet, but that didn't stop him. He hugged her ankles and kissed her sandals.
"Ewl, ewl, get off me rich, old man!" She whined in her annoying high pitch squeak of a voice. He refused and she pouted. "Honey, there's a billionaire playboy trying to worship me at my feet again!" She called out over her shoulder.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Irons felt a swift kick to his stomach as he flew up against the wall. He looked around furiously for the man who had kicked him. He stood up straight just as he felt a kick to his shin. "Ow!" He shouted as he looked down to see a little man 1/8 of his size dressed in grey go over and stand next to Brittney, crossing his arms angrily.
Brittney smiled. "Thanks, sweetie." She said cheerfully as she blew a kiss down to him. The little bald man smiled and hugged her leg. Irons glared down at him and the little man smirked evilly as he began to frantically hump her leg. "Oh, sweetie, not out here. No, wait till we're alone." When he ignored her, she took out a small spray can and squirted him with water. "No, bad Mini me. Save it for later." She told him with a wink.
Just then, Anthony came upon them. "Ah, there you are. I guess you have all ready been introduced to me client, Ms. Speares. Shall we go into the conference room so that we may have some privacy?" She nodded and all of them went into the conference room to the left.
Irons sat down at the edge of the table and motioned for Brittney to sit next to him, smiling pleasantly. She looked at him and mouthed 'freak' and sat down across from him, Mini-me sitting on her lap.
Anthony took the seat meant for Brittney and set down his briefcase. "Now, Ms. Speares, do you wish to tell me why you have called us here today?"
"Well, after recently seeing Mr. Lead's-"
"Irons', actually." Kenneth corrected as he sat gazing at her dreamily.
She scowled. "Whatever. I saw his little home video of my work and I am suing his ass for slander." She said coldly.
Anthony sighed. "Ms. Speares, you allowed TRL to show such videos of your fans and that is the media that the tape was sent to. So, you have no right to sue my client."
"Excuse me, his little video made my popularity, which was like at .0010% go down to .0009%! I am insulted!"
"You're popularity will always be 100% with me, Brittney." Irons told her admiringly.
"Shut up, dude!" She snapped at him. "Oh, and I am also filing a restraining order." She informed them as she slid a piece of paper across the table over to him.
Anthony looked at her curiously as she pulled out a sucker and started licking it. "Do you have a reason for this action against my client?"
She withdrew her lolly pop and glared at him. "Your client erased all my e- mail and filled my box with over a thousand e-mails, and I have all ready changed my screen name a dozen times. He did the same to all my fan clubs as well."
"You have no proof."
"I have the guy he used to hack my computer, a Gabriel Bowman. I let him off scotch free because he mentioned that this man," She pointed at Irons. "Held his best friend, a Sylvestor Marcus, hostage."
Irons frowned, slightly. 'I knew I should have had Ian kill him this lifetime too. He better not put this into the comic!'
"And, I also have one of his employees who had follow me around with a camera to gather pictures of me while I was undecent." She added.
"Indecent." The lawyer corrected."
"Shut up, Cruise. Whatever she says is right!" Shouted at his lawyer as he stared at Brittney.
"Anyway, he gave me the pictures. Here are some." She slid a few pictures of her in a lady's room.
Irons saw them and scowled even more. 'Damn you, Ian. I knew there would be a side effect to not letting him get any!'
Anthony gulped uneasily. "Oh, dear. Kenneth, you did not inform me of this." He said lightly as he passed a picture to Irons. "Did you have someone take these pictures for you?" He asked him, almost scoldingly like a parent. He didn't answer. "Kenneth..."
Kenneth started to pout and tear up. "Yes, I did." He moaned out as he began to cry. "I just wanted some pictures!"
Brittney frowned. "He's friggin' insane! Look at him! He's crying like my kid sister when Aaron Carter cheated on her with Justin!" She shouted. "He is beyond obsessive!"
Anthony rose. "Ms. Speares, my client is not obsessed." He said calmly.
"Oh no?" She asked him. She turned toward Irons and spat on the table. Immediately, he jumped up and licked it up into his mouth. The remainder he could not suck up was wiped up with his handkerchief and put next to his heart. "Brittney's very own spit! This will go well in the collection!" He said cheerfully.
Brittney looked at Anthony and motioned at Irons, exasperated. "No, not obsessive at all!" She said sarcastically.
Anthony sighed. "All right. My client will obey the restraining order. I will discuss the matter of you suing him with your lawyers privately sometime next week. Good day, Ms. Speares." He said quietly.
She and Mini-me rose up. "Stay the hell away from me!" She shouted at Irons before she turned to Anthony and smiled pleasantly. "Good day!" She said cheerfully.
"EEEEEEEEEEEE!" Mini-Me squealed as he and Brittney left, his small hand on her butt.
Irons tried to go after her, but was stopped by his attorney. "Let her go, Kenneth."
He started crying. "But I want to worship her!!!!!" He moaned out as he tried to get to the door. "Brittney, Wait for me, darling!"
"No Kenneth!" Anthony said as he tried to restrain him once again. He failed, and Kenneth ran after the pop star and caught up to her. He hugged her from behind.
"Brittney, I just need to tell you:
I'm a slave for you
I cannot hold it, I cannot control it
I'm a slave for you
I won't deny it, I'm not trying to hide it."
She and Mini-me pushed him off, but he would not stop. He took off his fancy jacket and smiled.
"Baby, don't you wanna dance up on me
To another time and place
Oh, baby, don't you wanna dance up on me
Leaving behind my name and age
Like that. You like that?
Yeah. Now watch me."
He danced mock seductively, knowing all her moves from the music video by heart. He ripped off his shirt and began to shake his ass.
"Get it, get it, get it, get it
Get it, get it, get it, get it
Get it, get it, get it, get it
I really wanna dance tonight with you
I really wanna do what you want me to
I really wanna dance tonight with you
I really wanna do what you want me to."
"EEEEEEEEEE!" Mini-me screamed as he covered his ears. Brittney was too horrified to think to close her eyes. (As if she had that thought capacity anyway.) She watched, terrified, as he turned in cricles madly, touching himself in all the wrong places.
"Baby, don't you wanna dance up on me
To another time and place
Oh, baby, don't you wanna dance up on me
Leaving behind my name and age
I'm a slave for you
I cannot hold it, I cannot control it
I'm a slave for you
I won't deny it, I'm not trying to hide it."
Just as he ripped off his pants, revealing his thong with her picture on it, Brittney screamed as loud as she could, and that made him stop.
"What's wrong, m'love?" He asked her anxiously.
"You!" She replied. "I think you've blinded me! Mini-me!!!!"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" He screamed as he socked Irons straight where the sun don't shine. He then escorted the blinded Brittney out side.
"Kenneth, are you okay?" Anthony asked him as he helped him up to his feet and handed him his jacket.
Kenneth pouted and shook his head. "I just wanted her to hear my song! It's our song!" She weeped out as he hugged his lawyer.
Anthony cautiously patted Irons' back. "Well, she did hear it. Why don't we go back to your mansion and I'll have Nottingham put on those CD's he refers to as your happy music." He said soothingly.
Kenneth's lip quivered. "But Brittney sings all my happy music!!!" He moaned out. "Boo hoo hoo!"
"Get hold of yourself, Kenneth! You have your business to run!" He reminded him as he tried to escape the older man's embrace.
"No, don't wanna!" He whined out. "I did it all for my goddess and she doesn't like me anymore!"
"Well, why don't we find you a new goddess? How about that nice Pezzini woman you have Nottingham stalking all the time?" He mentioned.
Kenneth shook his head. "She don't like me, either! Besides, she's a meanie!"
Anthony sighed. "Well, what about that Christina girl that your servants are so fond of. I've seen them watch her on the staff room television."
Kenneth stop moaning. "Well, she is very pretty. And she can sing." He looked down at himself. "And I bet she'll like my dancing and won't care if I put her face on my happy thong!"
"See, Kenneth. All ready she sounds more promising." He said happily.
He stood up straight. "You are quite right. For now on, I praise Christina! Thank-you, Cruise. Now, I must go!" He said as he started walking toward his limo.
"Go where?" He asked, confused.
"To my mansion to do research. I must learn her moves to impress her with when we meet." He looked forward and started toward the door, mumbling to himself. "Christina, I'm coming for you, darling!"
The End
"I am trying to get you there as fast as possible, sir." He answered.
His attorney, Anthony Cruise, Re-adjusted his tie nervously for the umpteenth time. "Mr. Irons, I can not see why you are joyed to make this trip. It will surely not be pleasurable." He told him as he spotted the building coming up and grabbed his brief case.
"Oh, it will." He told him.
"Sir, we have arrived." The driver told them.
As he began to break, he heard Irons frantically trying to open the door, which he was unable to open due to the child lock security that Ian had made sure the driver put on.
"Let me out! Let me out! Let me out!" He screamed.
"Patience is a virtue, Kenneth." Anthony reminded him.
"Screw patience, let me at her!" Kenneth whined. The driver went over and pressed the button on the key chain and unlocked the door. He reached to open the door for his employer.
SMACK!
Irons jumped out of the limo, smashing the driver with the door as it flew open. "Kenneth!" Anthony called after him as he scrambled out of the limo and helped the driver to his feet and quickly tried to convince him to not sue.
Irons ran past the receptionist, barging into the room to the side. She tried pulling on his coat to stop him, but he just let her pull it off and continued running as she tripped to the ground.
He saw a set of tall doors at the end of the hall. 'Okay, me being the smarty pants that I am, knows very well that she awaits me beyond those doors. And being the genius that I am, I know that the doors are locked. I must rush at them to gain entrance. Okay, tapping into assassin/stalker strength that my ward was trained in. A one, two, three...'
"Whoopee dee!" With his war cry shouted, he ran full speed ahead toward the doors and crashed into them, allowing him entrance into the room.
Dazed, Irons took the bucket that had fallen on his head off and looked around. "Curses." He murmured as he slowly rose, hitting his head on a shelf as he did. He stumbled out of the janitor's closet and into the hallway.
"Dude, are you okay?"
His eyes went wide as his goddess of pop music stood before him in a pair of leather pants and a baby tank that showed off her midriff.
"BRITTNEY!!!!!!" He cried out happily as he tried to walk towards her for a hug. He tripped over a mop and ended up a mess at her feet, but that didn't stop him. He hugged her ankles and kissed her sandals.
"Ewl, ewl, get off me rich, old man!" She whined in her annoying high pitch squeak of a voice. He refused and she pouted. "Honey, there's a billionaire playboy trying to worship me at my feet again!" She called out over her shoulder.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Irons felt a swift kick to his stomach as he flew up against the wall. He looked around furiously for the man who had kicked him. He stood up straight just as he felt a kick to his shin. "Ow!" He shouted as he looked down to see a little man 1/8 of his size dressed in grey go over and stand next to Brittney, crossing his arms angrily.
Brittney smiled. "Thanks, sweetie." She said cheerfully as she blew a kiss down to him. The little bald man smiled and hugged her leg. Irons glared down at him and the little man smirked evilly as he began to frantically hump her leg. "Oh, sweetie, not out here. No, wait till we're alone." When he ignored her, she took out a small spray can and squirted him with water. "No, bad Mini me. Save it for later." She told him with a wink.
Just then, Anthony came upon them. "Ah, there you are. I guess you have all ready been introduced to me client, Ms. Speares. Shall we go into the conference room so that we may have some privacy?" She nodded and all of them went into the conference room to the left.
Irons sat down at the edge of the table and motioned for Brittney to sit next to him, smiling pleasantly. She looked at him and mouthed 'freak' and sat down across from him, Mini-me sitting on her lap.
Anthony took the seat meant for Brittney and set down his briefcase. "Now, Ms. Speares, do you wish to tell me why you have called us here today?"
"Well, after recently seeing Mr. Lead's-"
"Irons', actually." Kenneth corrected as he sat gazing at her dreamily.
She scowled. "Whatever. I saw his little home video of my work and I am suing his ass for slander." She said coldly.
Anthony sighed. "Ms. Speares, you allowed TRL to show such videos of your fans and that is the media that the tape was sent to. So, you have no right to sue my client."
"Excuse me, his little video made my popularity, which was like at .0010% go down to .0009%! I am insulted!"
"You're popularity will always be 100% with me, Brittney." Irons told her admiringly.
"Shut up, dude!" She snapped at him. "Oh, and I am also filing a restraining order." She informed them as she slid a piece of paper across the table over to him.
Anthony looked at her curiously as she pulled out a sucker and started licking it. "Do you have a reason for this action against my client?"
She withdrew her lolly pop and glared at him. "Your client erased all my e- mail and filled my box with over a thousand e-mails, and I have all ready changed my screen name a dozen times. He did the same to all my fan clubs as well."
"You have no proof."
"I have the guy he used to hack my computer, a Gabriel Bowman. I let him off scotch free because he mentioned that this man," She pointed at Irons. "Held his best friend, a Sylvestor Marcus, hostage."
Irons frowned, slightly. 'I knew I should have had Ian kill him this lifetime too. He better not put this into the comic!'
"And, I also have one of his employees who had follow me around with a camera to gather pictures of me while I was undecent." She added.
"Indecent." The lawyer corrected."
"Shut up, Cruise. Whatever she says is right!" Shouted at his lawyer as he stared at Brittney.
"Anyway, he gave me the pictures. Here are some." She slid a few pictures of her in a lady's room.
Irons saw them and scowled even more. 'Damn you, Ian. I knew there would be a side effect to not letting him get any!'
Anthony gulped uneasily. "Oh, dear. Kenneth, you did not inform me of this." He said lightly as he passed a picture to Irons. "Did you have someone take these pictures for you?" He asked him, almost scoldingly like a parent. He didn't answer. "Kenneth..."
Kenneth started to pout and tear up. "Yes, I did." He moaned out as he began to cry. "I just wanted some pictures!"
Brittney frowned. "He's friggin' insane! Look at him! He's crying like my kid sister when Aaron Carter cheated on her with Justin!" She shouted. "He is beyond obsessive!"
Anthony rose. "Ms. Speares, my client is not obsessed." He said calmly.
"Oh no?" She asked him. She turned toward Irons and spat on the table. Immediately, he jumped up and licked it up into his mouth. The remainder he could not suck up was wiped up with his handkerchief and put next to his heart. "Brittney's very own spit! This will go well in the collection!" He said cheerfully.
Brittney looked at Anthony and motioned at Irons, exasperated. "No, not obsessive at all!" She said sarcastically.
Anthony sighed. "All right. My client will obey the restraining order. I will discuss the matter of you suing him with your lawyers privately sometime next week. Good day, Ms. Speares." He said quietly.
She and Mini-me rose up. "Stay the hell away from me!" She shouted at Irons before she turned to Anthony and smiled pleasantly. "Good day!" She said cheerfully.
"EEEEEEEEEEEE!" Mini-Me squealed as he and Brittney left, his small hand on her butt.
Irons tried to go after her, but was stopped by his attorney. "Let her go, Kenneth."
He started crying. "But I want to worship her!!!!!" He moaned out as he tried to get to the door. "Brittney, Wait for me, darling!"
"No Kenneth!" Anthony said as he tried to restrain him once again. He failed, and Kenneth ran after the pop star and caught up to her. He hugged her from behind.
"Brittney, I just need to tell you:
I'm a slave for you
I cannot hold it, I cannot control it
I'm a slave for you
I won't deny it, I'm not trying to hide it."
She and Mini-me pushed him off, but he would not stop. He took off his fancy jacket and smiled.
"Baby, don't you wanna dance up on me
To another time and place
Oh, baby, don't you wanna dance up on me
Leaving behind my name and age
Like that. You like that?
Yeah. Now watch me."
He danced mock seductively, knowing all her moves from the music video by heart. He ripped off his shirt and began to shake his ass.
"Get it, get it, get it, get it
Get it, get it, get it, get it
Get it, get it, get it, get it
I really wanna dance tonight with you
I really wanna do what you want me to
I really wanna dance tonight with you
I really wanna do what you want me to."
"EEEEEEEEEE!" Mini-me screamed as he covered his ears. Brittney was too horrified to think to close her eyes. (As if she had that thought capacity anyway.) She watched, terrified, as he turned in cricles madly, touching himself in all the wrong places.
"Baby, don't you wanna dance up on me
To another time and place
Oh, baby, don't you wanna dance up on me
Leaving behind my name and age
I'm a slave for you
I cannot hold it, I cannot control it
I'm a slave for you
I won't deny it, I'm not trying to hide it."
Just as he ripped off his pants, revealing his thong with her picture on it, Brittney screamed as loud as she could, and that made him stop.
"What's wrong, m'love?" He asked her anxiously.
"You!" She replied. "I think you've blinded me! Mini-me!!!!"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" He screamed as he socked Irons straight where the sun don't shine. He then escorted the blinded Brittney out side.
"Kenneth, are you okay?" Anthony asked him as he helped him up to his feet and handed him his jacket.
Kenneth pouted and shook his head. "I just wanted her to hear my song! It's our song!" She weeped out as he hugged his lawyer.
Anthony cautiously patted Irons' back. "Well, she did hear it. Why don't we go back to your mansion and I'll have Nottingham put on those CD's he refers to as your happy music." He said soothingly.
Kenneth's lip quivered. "But Brittney sings all my happy music!!!" He moaned out. "Boo hoo hoo!"
"Get hold of yourself, Kenneth! You have your business to run!" He reminded him as he tried to escape the older man's embrace.
"No, don't wanna!" He whined out. "I did it all for my goddess and she doesn't like me anymore!"
"Well, why don't we find you a new goddess? How about that nice Pezzini woman you have Nottingham stalking all the time?" He mentioned.
Kenneth shook his head. "She don't like me, either! Besides, she's a meanie!"
Anthony sighed. "Well, what about that Christina girl that your servants are so fond of. I've seen them watch her on the staff room television."
Kenneth stop moaning. "Well, she is very pretty. And she can sing." He looked down at himself. "And I bet she'll like my dancing and won't care if I put her face on my happy thong!"
"See, Kenneth. All ready she sounds more promising." He said happily.
He stood up straight. "You are quite right. For now on, I praise Christina! Thank-you, Cruise. Now, I must go!" He said as he started walking toward his limo.
"Go where?" He asked, confused.
"To my mansion to do research. I must learn her moves to impress her with when we meet." He looked forward and started toward the door, mumbling to himself. "Christina, I'm coming for you, darling!"
The End