Disclaimer: Not mine.
Pairing: H/S
Sequel: Birthday Blues
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Revenge
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With a great sense of déjà vu, Horatio Caine stepped into the hospital and chuckled when his nurse clicked her tongue at him.
It seemed his birthday tradition was finding its way to another victim, passing itself off like an infectious virus that everyone feared. And he thought it a bit appropriate.
"Horatio!" Jenna, one of the various doctors he'd come to know well, waved him over and grinned idiotically, before pointing to a door, "He's in two-twenty-six."
The redhead nodded, mirroring her smile, "I think it's safe to say that my revenge has been exacted."
She moved out from behind the desk, "I'll say." The blonde hair whipped around her neck as she opened the door to single occupant room – the occupant whining like a small child, "I think I'll have to up this one's dosage. He's supposed to be believing that he's Barney…" She lifted the chart from the end of the bed and began to flip through the pages.
"You know this just gets funnier and funnier." Calleigh's cheery personality joined the trio.
"No, it doesn't. And I wouldn't make jokes about this either because you could be next." H chastised. He knew how spending a birthday in the hospital was anything but enjoyable.
"Oh, but Horatio, you should love this! Someone else is laid up, instead of you." Adele Sevilla materialized out of thin air.
The person in the bed moaned, "I will never, *ever* tease you again about this."
Causing the eldest to laugh, "Different when you're on the other side of the fence, eh, Speed?"
Timothy Speedle had, unlike his boss on *his* birthday, decided to go to work. He had requested no party, and that he be allowed to spend the day in the air-conditioned trace lab.
Which came back to bite him in the ass.
"How the *hell* was I supposed to know that Eric was conducting an experiment in the middle of the fucking lab?"
"I would hope one would've noticed the huge puddle on the floor!" The southern girl couldn't help but point out.
A mass spec test result had send Tim looking for one of his coworkers to get a second opinion on his theory. And got him the most comical injury to date: He'd gone sliding across the liquid, tripped, rolled head over heels, and slammed into the staircase. All while he cursed the names of everyone he could think of, from Laura to Horatio.
A broken ankle, sprained wrist, and mild concussion later, he was at the mercy of his colleagues, his boss.
"I agree that you probably should have noticed." The redhead nodded, then watched as the doctor medicated Speed, "What are you giving him?"
"Same thing I gave you, Mr. Giggles." Jenna's former grin turned evil. She left, handing off the discharge papers to H. She did not hear the collective groan issued forth from the remaining law enforcement officials' mouths.
"I guess since he took care of you, you're going to be taking him home?" Calleigh asked, completely unaware of the implications of leaving the two men by themselves in the vicinity of a bed.
The now-doped brunet laughed. And giggled. And launched into bone-wracking hysterics.
Everyone backed away slowly.
"Uh. I think I've gotta go. Eric's probably getting overrun by the techs. Bye." With a flourish of blonde hair, Duquesne made her posthaste exit, followed closely by the Latina detective who uttered a quick excuse.
With some luck, the boss managed to get the younger in a wheelchair that had appeared in the room, then down to the CSI hummer. More finagling and they were both in the front seats, belted, and were off.
"Did you know that there are only two species that have sex for pleasure? Humans and dolphins." Tim announced half-way to the Miami Beach home of Caine.
"No. I didn't." The driver rubbed his forehead with one hand, but kept his eyes on the road before him.
"It was on a Snapple bottle cap." The casted one continued, "And whale sperm…only ten percent actually goes in its mate."
Oh, thank god. The driveway was near, just a few yards away and it was good thing too, because now Horatio wasn't sure he could stand being in the car much longer.
They made it into the driveway, through the front door, up the stairs. Into the bedroom and atop the covers temporarily while the elder tried to mentally work out how the hell he would manage to get Tim into the bathroom for a shower.
"You know in New York, the penalty for jumping off a building is death. And in Liverpool in England, women can't go topless unless they work in a tropical fish store."
`Only I would have a boyfriend who knows more aimless knowledge than information about his own job.' The redhead began fishing around his dresser for clean clothes, deciding that the morning would be a better time for bathing.
Babbling on about nuclear devices and Chico, California, Speedle submitted to being stripped and re-dressed, only mildly annoyed when H pulled the blue lounge pants up to the other's waist, "No."
"Don't fight with me, Tim. Now is not the time." There was barely contained giddiness eddying beneath the surface. Why, he wasn't sure.
"You know. You're supposed to keep people with concussions awake." Said as the brunet found his way under the covers and snuggled close to Horatio.
"Not the way you're thinking though."
"Spoilsport."
The elder smiled to himself, "Doth my revenge be exacted."
There was an annoyed grunt, before there were soft snores.
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*v* Cassie Jamie *v*
csimiami@cassie-jamie.com