Disclaimer: I don't own this stuff. I don't own Legolas (boohoo), Frodo
(boy am I glad), Boromir (who'd want some stinkin' dead guy?), Elrond (Aah!
A Drow), Sam (what an idiot), Gimli (yuck), Merry (waaaahhh!), or Pippin
(waaaahhh! Boohoo!). Or any of the other characters. But I do own Elanor.
You can't have her! She's mine, I found her, she came to me! She's mine, my
own, my precious!
"Well, it's like this," Aragorn said. "Sauron didn't really make the Ring. He paid one of his soldiers to make the Ring and then he turned that soldier into the Witch King, the leader of the Nazgul."
"Oh," said Frodo. "So my trip to Mordor was for nothing. Right?"
"Right," agreed Aragorn. "You'd have been better off using the Ring yourself."
"So why didn't Gandy know all this?" Elrond asked.
Gandalf appeared suddenly. "GANDY??!!" he yelled. He bonked Elrond on the head, knocking him out. Then he disappeared.
"Well, he was right," Frodo said. "Why didn't Gandalf know about this?"
"Oh, he knew about it. Why do you think he sent you on a useless journey? He and Sauron were best friends until Sauron turned evil. Gandalf would rather die than turn his back on a friend."
"Then why did he turn his back on Saruman?" asked Sam.
"Because Saruman and Gandalf always hated each other. See, Saruman stole Gandalf's girlfriend many ages ago, so Gandalf got really mad at Saruman and vowed to get revenge," Aragorn explained.
"Ah," said Elrond, who had awoken. "So now, let's kill Elanor."
"No," said Arwen. "Don't you dare kill the cute kitty, Father."
"And why not? I am the oldest Elf on Middle Earth now that Galadriel's gone."
"Galadriel's gone?" Gimli said. "GRRR!"
"Gimli!" Legolas said warningly.
"Sorry."
"Anyway, what about Celeborn?" Legolas added. "He's older than you."
"He doesn't count."
"Why not?" asked Pippin.
"You fool of a Took!" Gandalf appeared and bonked him on the head, knocking him out.
"I'll tell you why not, on one condition. I get Elanor."
"Done!" said Legolas. "Why doesn't your father-in-law count?"
"Oh, he's my father-in-law? I forgot. Maybe he does count," Elrond said quickly.
"You're right about that!" Celeborn said. He bonked Elrond on the head, knocking him out.
I'm not going to ask any questions that I'll have to answer in the next chapter. That gets old. So, anyway, this episode is brought to you by our Elven hair products, perfectly formatted to bring that shiny look to your hair. And when you're done, mix what's left in with your drinks! Nice, soapy flavor (or gel-flavored, or conditioner-flavored, or, or, anyway ()! Yummy!
"Well, it's like this," Aragorn said. "Sauron didn't really make the Ring. He paid one of his soldiers to make the Ring and then he turned that soldier into the Witch King, the leader of the Nazgul."
"Oh," said Frodo. "So my trip to Mordor was for nothing. Right?"
"Right," agreed Aragorn. "You'd have been better off using the Ring yourself."
"So why didn't Gandy know all this?" Elrond asked.
Gandalf appeared suddenly. "GANDY??!!" he yelled. He bonked Elrond on the head, knocking him out. Then he disappeared.
"Well, he was right," Frodo said. "Why didn't Gandalf know about this?"
"Oh, he knew about it. Why do you think he sent you on a useless journey? He and Sauron were best friends until Sauron turned evil. Gandalf would rather die than turn his back on a friend."
"Then why did he turn his back on Saruman?" asked Sam.
"Because Saruman and Gandalf always hated each other. See, Saruman stole Gandalf's girlfriend many ages ago, so Gandalf got really mad at Saruman and vowed to get revenge," Aragorn explained.
"Ah," said Elrond, who had awoken. "So now, let's kill Elanor."
"No," said Arwen. "Don't you dare kill the cute kitty, Father."
"And why not? I am the oldest Elf on Middle Earth now that Galadriel's gone."
"Galadriel's gone?" Gimli said. "GRRR!"
"Gimli!" Legolas said warningly.
"Sorry."
"Anyway, what about Celeborn?" Legolas added. "He's older than you."
"He doesn't count."
"Why not?" asked Pippin.
"You fool of a Took!" Gandalf appeared and bonked him on the head, knocking him out.
"I'll tell you why not, on one condition. I get Elanor."
"Done!" said Legolas. "Why doesn't your father-in-law count?"
"Oh, he's my father-in-law? I forgot. Maybe he does count," Elrond said quickly.
"You're right about that!" Celeborn said. He bonked Elrond on the head, knocking him out.
I'm not going to ask any questions that I'll have to answer in the next chapter. That gets old. So, anyway, this episode is brought to you by our Elven hair products, perfectly formatted to bring that shiny look to your hair. And when you're done, mix what's left in with your drinks! Nice, soapy flavor (or gel-flavored, or conditioner-flavored, or, or, anyway ()! Yummy!