Disclaimer: I don't own this stuff. I don't own Legolas (boohoo), Frodo
(boy am I glad), Boromir (who'd want some stinkin' dead guy?), Elrond (Aah!
A Drow), Sam (what an idiot), Gimli (yuck), Merry (waaaahhh!), or Pippin
(waaaahhh! Boohoo!). Or any of the other characters. Or any of the FF8
characters. But I do own Elanor. You can't have her! She's mine, I found
her, she came to me! She's mine, my own, my precious!
"Grandpa, you meanie!" Arwen shouted. "Why did you hit Father?"
"He wants to kill your kitty," Celeborn said.
"Oh, okay," Arwen replied, hitting Elrond over the head with Glorfindel's sword.
Legolas glared at her. "Elanor has to go. Elrond and I had a deal."
"Well, since I'm his son," Elrohir said, "I'll take the cat."
"Okay," said Legolas, and gave Elrohir Elanor.
Elrohir promptly gave the kitty to Arwen.
"HEY!" Legolas cried. "I didn't want HER to have the cat!"
"She's my sister, and I'll stand up for her before my father," Elrohir said.
"You evil Elf! I raised you different than that!" Elrond yelled.
"You're no Elf!" Elrohir replied. "We're only half Elves. You're a Drow! You're the evil Elf!"
"Whatever," Squall said.
"Hey, who are you?" Celeborn asked.
"Wrong line, old man," Pippin said.
"You mean old Elf," Merry corrected him.
"Right," Pippin agreed.
"Okay, eight that are here yet nine there were set out from Rivendell, tell me where is Gandalf for I much desire to speak with him?"
Galadriel appeared. "He has fallen into shadow, hey who are you?" she asked.
"Whatever," Squall said.
"Oh, hi, Mr. Ever," Galadriel said. "Strange name that, but whatever you say. Haha, that's a pun, Celeborn."
"Umm, Mrs. Really Really Old Elf, what's a pun?" asked Gimli.
"Hmm, well, maybe you should wait and find out next chapter," she said.
"Okay."
"Now, about that cat," Galadriel said. "The cat will go with me to Valinor. She will be happy there, and safe from the likes of him," she pointed at Elrond. "By the time he gets there, his desire to kill cats will be gone."
"Promise?" asked Arwen. "Grandma?"
"I promise, O daughter of Cele-, uh, Celeborn, what's our daughter's name again? You know, the dead one?"
"Oh, I don't know. Who cares?"
"Well, anyway, I promise, O grand-daughter of Galadriel, last living Elf to sail from Valinor."
"Good," Arwen said, laughing. "YYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!"
She jumped up and down happily. Galadriel smiled. "Now, Celeborn, the two of us are going to Valinor, and we're taking that cat with us."
"Wait," said Squall. "What about Sauron?"
"He's dead," said Aragorn.
"How do you know?"
"Cause, I cut off his head," Aragorn said. "MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
"AAAHHH!!!" Elrond said. "Arwen, he's evil, stay away from him!"
"Don't worry, Father. I'm going to Valinor with Elanor. Hey that rhymes! Elanor, Valinor, Elanor, Valinor," she continued to chant.
"SHUT UP!!!" yelled Squall.
Everyone looked at him. "You shut up!" Arwen said, crying.
"Whatever," he muttered angrily.
Why is Squall, a character from Final Fantasy VIII, in a story about LotR? Does anyone really care? Will the author answer these questions in the next chapter? Will there be a next chapter?
To find out the answers to these questions, and more, tune in next time on the Adventures of Elanor! And if there isn't a next time? Well, that's what your brain is for! This episode brought to you by our Elven hair products, perfectly formatted to bring that shiny look to your hair. And when you're done, mix what's left in with your drinks! Nice, soapy flavor (or gel-flavored, or conditioner-flavored, or, or, anyway ()! Yummy!
"Grandpa, you meanie!" Arwen shouted. "Why did you hit Father?"
"He wants to kill your kitty," Celeborn said.
"Oh, okay," Arwen replied, hitting Elrond over the head with Glorfindel's sword.
Legolas glared at her. "Elanor has to go. Elrond and I had a deal."
"Well, since I'm his son," Elrohir said, "I'll take the cat."
"Okay," said Legolas, and gave Elrohir Elanor.
Elrohir promptly gave the kitty to Arwen.
"HEY!" Legolas cried. "I didn't want HER to have the cat!"
"She's my sister, and I'll stand up for her before my father," Elrohir said.
"You evil Elf! I raised you different than that!" Elrond yelled.
"You're no Elf!" Elrohir replied. "We're only half Elves. You're a Drow! You're the evil Elf!"
"Whatever," Squall said.
"Hey, who are you?" Celeborn asked.
"Wrong line, old man," Pippin said.
"You mean old Elf," Merry corrected him.
"Right," Pippin agreed.
"Okay, eight that are here yet nine there were set out from Rivendell, tell me where is Gandalf for I much desire to speak with him?"
Galadriel appeared. "He has fallen into shadow, hey who are you?" she asked.
"Whatever," Squall said.
"Oh, hi, Mr. Ever," Galadriel said. "Strange name that, but whatever you say. Haha, that's a pun, Celeborn."
"Umm, Mrs. Really Really Old Elf, what's a pun?" asked Gimli.
"Hmm, well, maybe you should wait and find out next chapter," she said.
"Okay."
"Now, about that cat," Galadriel said. "The cat will go with me to Valinor. She will be happy there, and safe from the likes of him," she pointed at Elrond. "By the time he gets there, his desire to kill cats will be gone."
"Promise?" asked Arwen. "Grandma?"
"I promise, O daughter of Cele-, uh, Celeborn, what's our daughter's name again? You know, the dead one?"
"Oh, I don't know. Who cares?"
"Well, anyway, I promise, O grand-daughter of Galadriel, last living Elf to sail from Valinor."
"Good," Arwen said, laughing. "YYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!"
She jumped up and down happily. Galadriel smiled. "Now, Celeborn, the two of us are going to Valinor, and we're taking that cat with us."
"Wait," said Squall. "What about Sauron?"
"He's dead," said Aragorn.
"How do you know?"
"Cause, I cut off his head," Aragorn said. "MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
"AAAHHH!!!" Elrond said. "Arwen, he's evil, stay away from him!"
"Don't worry, Father. I'm going to Valinor with Elanor. Hey that rhymes! Elanor, Valinor, Elanor, Valinor," she continued to chant.
"SHUT UP!!!" yelled Squall.
Everyone looked at him. "You shut up!" Arwen said, crying.
"Whatever," he muttered angrily.
Why is Squall, a character from Final Fantasy VIII, in a story about LotR? Does anyone really care? Will the author answer these questions in the next chapter? Will there be a next chapter?
To find out the answers to these questions, and more, tune in next time on the Adventures of Elanor! And if there isn't a next time? Well, that's what your brain is for! This episode brought to you by our Elven hair products, perfectly formatted to bring that shiny look to your hair. And when you're done, mix what's left in with your drinks! Nice, soapy flavor (or gel-flavored, or conditioner-flavored, or, or, anyway ()! Yummy!