Chapter 10: The Real Problem Begins
3 hrs after collapsing in the kitchen, Gambit woke up in one of the recovery rooms at the Xavier Institute.
"Ow," Remy sat up rubbing his head, "De hell happened?"
"How do you feel?" asked Henri who had been waiting for Gambit to wake up.
"Dizzy an' lightheaded," said Remy swallowing hard.
"What's you expect?! You 'aven't eaten in fo' days!" exclaimed Henri.
"Really?" asked Gambit, "Remy t'ought he 'adn't eaten in a year!"
"How 'bout dis?" asked Henri slyly, "I go make you de san'wich an' you go fin' Rogue."
"I don' know," said Remy hesitantly.
"What's ta know?" asked Henri, "You go in dere, talk tings out fo' five minutes, den spend the tree hours 'avin' make up sex!"
"Henri, it don' work like dat wid Rogue-she different. Besides even if we did get it together it still wouldn't matta-" Remy trailed off.
"Porquoi (Why)?" asked Henri.
Remy leaned back against the headboard of the bed, "Fuzzy and de Smerfette (Logan and Mystique)."
POW!
Henri gave his little brother a dead arm.
"OW!" yelped Remy, "De fuck was dat fo'?!"
"Fo'getting' where you come from!" yelled Remy's older brother.
"Henri, you feelin' ok?" asked Remy raising an eyebrow as he rubbed his now soar arm.
"I feel fin'-you de one Henri be worried about!-Since when does anyone from either de T'ieves o' de Assassin's back down from a challenge?! An' to ad insult to injury you de son of de leader o' de Guild-You, Sir, are an embarrassment!" said Henri overacting by crossing his arms and looking away.
"Bro, what are you on?!" asked Remy rather confused and worried about his brother's mental stability.
"I have no brother!" declared Henri.
Remy rolled his red and black eyes, threw the covers off and managed to stand up, but still really dizzy, "Are you getting' all dramatic again?! *sigh* Fin' if it'll shut you and get me somet'ing ta eat in de process I'll go talk to her!" Gambit seceded, "Happy, NOW?!"
"Very." said Henri smugly "-Yo' legs painted on?-Move you ass!"
What Remy neglected to notice was the little illuminated red light on the intercom. You have just witnessed Henri's modified master plan.
-------------
When Henri walked into the kitchen he received a mild round of applause from all those who were waiting for him, which included Belle, Mads, Storm, Piotr, Kitty, Storm, Mystique, Kurt, the Prof. and Magneto.
"Overact much?" asked Belle sarcastically.
"Got de job done, didn't it?" said Henri smirking.
"That's beyond the point," said Magneto.
"Precisely," agreed Xavier, "now that we know what drove them apart," he said looking pointedly at Mystique.
"Now vat?" asked Kurt.
"We sit them down and talk it out," said Xavier.
"Are you kidding?!" asked Mystique, "I admit I don't like seeing Rogue destroy herself, but you have to admit it was nice having life down to a dull roar without having to constantly wonder about Gambit's whereabouts."
"Still," said Magneto, "I would rather worry about Gambit's 'whereabouts' than his funeral preparations on a Friday night (he he)."
-------------
In the meantime Gambit had wandered down the hall of the medical wing to a large set of metal doors in search of his sultry Southern belle.
"Chere?" he called into the silence, but to no avail.
Next time he was going to ask for the sandwich in advance. Remy started feeling woozy and staggered against the wall for balance. In the process his hand hit the button to open the large set of metal door-a.k.a the Danger Room!
"Mon Diu!" exclaimed Gambit as he saw lazars shooting out from the walls.
"Mission. Completed.-Congratulations. Logan," said the computer in a programmed female voice.
"Thanks, Darlin'," said Wolverine walking over to a towel.
"You're. Soooo. Strong." The computer cooed.
"Ya, well-(Sniff~Sniff)," Wolverine smelled the air with disdain as he lifted his water bottle, "hold that thought," he said walking over the threshold of the room, "Loose somethin', Gumbo?" Wolverine growled.
"Oui, mon fili! (Yes, my woman!)" said Gambit crossing his arms.
"Look, Bub, she said she didn't wanna see ya again that means she's not yers. And incase ya were wonderin' she never was!" growled Wolverine.
"Non, mon ami all Cher said was to 'cool it fo' a while'. Gambit can only guess you be de reason why," said Remy narrowing his demonic eyes.
"Look, Gumbo-'Cher' has a name and since yer from the bayou I'll let you in on a little secret-"
"An' what would dat be?" asked Gambit in a dangerous tone.
"Yer walkin' on thin ice, Bub!" warned Wolverine-
SKNIT!
"Whoa-" said Remy putting up his hands in defense, "Gambit be de lover, not de fighter an' a damn good one at dat!-Take it easy, homme-"
"Accessing. Escape. From. Home." said the computer.
Instantly the metallic room was converted into the main hall. Ever since Mystique had trapped the rookies in the mansion while she posed as Professor Xavier, Forge had created a simulation in which all the X-Men had to escape before the mansion went into Defcon 4. It was by far one of the more challenging courses to run and of course with Gambit's luck that was the one the computer accessed.
Logan was barely able to move Gambit out of the way before a circular saw blade took a hunk out of the door frame. Remy's equilibrium still wasn't quite up to par-long story short he wound up at Wolverine's feet.
"The hell's the matter with you, kid?!" asked Wolverine.
"Not'in' Gambit be fine," insisted Remy who was still on the floor.
"Can you stand?" asked Wolverine deflecting flying projectiles with his adamantium claws.
"Not widout fallin' back on ma ass, mon ami," admitted Gambit as he shifted uncomfortably on the metallic floor.
"Great," growled Wolverine.
Just then robotic duplicates of the Acolytes filed into the simulation- armed and ready for battle.
Gambit was aghast, "No fuckin' way!"
"Whadya think we do on the weekends?" asked Wolverine shooting Gambit a superior look, "Sit around watching cartoons?"
"Well, dat was only one of de t'eories," said Remy.
"Theories?!" asked Wolverine.
"Oui," said Gambit looking up at Logan from the floor, "my favorite is de wild ogree (don't know if that's spelled right) one."
"WHAT?!" roared Wolverine.
POW!
Logan was broad sided by a flaming ceiling beam, thrown into a wall and temporarily stunned.
Meanwhile Gambit had had enough he didn't care what happened anymore. He somehow managed to painstakingly rise to his feet, only to come face to face with-himself?!
Well the robotic version anyway.
"Damn-Gambit be a sexy bitch!" commented Remy giving his robotic-self a once over as he walked around it, "Whoa!-Hold de phone!-Dere be no way Gambit's ass dat big!"
BAM!-Robot Gambit sucker punched real Gambit.
"OW!" yelped a now winded Gambit, "Dat's not cool!-Gambit has never taken a cheap shot," he paused, "'cept dat time when Henri pants me at dat pep rally."
"This thief is about to kick your ass," said robot Remy.
"Are you kiddin'?! Remy don' talk like dat!" said Gambit wrinkling his nose in disgust.
"Prepare for pain," said robot Remy as he unleashed a deck of cards form his coat pocket.
Fifty-two pickup was the name of the game as robot Gambit's playing cards went flying in all directions-they were doused in both real Remy and Wolverine's blood.
It wasn't long before Gambit blacked out.
-------------
Remy woke up about 15 minutes later in his least favorite place in the world-the ER of the Xavier Institute. Not only was he greeted by the always unwelcome of sight of Hank holding a syringe, but Henri trying to hold him down, while Magneto was trying to stop the gashes on his arms and chest from bleeding with towels. Storm and Mystique were running around the lab grabbing various sterilizing substances and bandages, while Professor Xavier was giving Logan a once over even though it really wasn't necessary.
"MERDE!" yelled Remy as Hank stuck him with the syringe.
"Goddamn it, Rem, would you jus' stay still until dey stop de bleedin'?!" pleaded Henri as he attempted to stabilize his brother's legs.
But of course Remy being Remy continued to try and shake Henri and get off that God forsaken table.
"Christ, we should just let him bleed to death!" groaned Mystique.
"Fer once we agree on somethin'," said Wolverine, "he's more trouble than he's worth."
"Hey, at least Gambit wasn't making time wid the computer!" Remy shot back.
"I was not 'making time' with the computer!" growled Wolverine, "Forge programmed it to say that stuff."
"An' pigs be flyin',' said Remy smugly.
"It's on!" yelled Wolverine.
"Logan, please," pleaded the Professor.
"Fine," grumbled Logan, "I'll chalk that one up to the pain killer."
"That would just solve all your problems wouldn't it?!" asked an exasperated Storm, "With Gambit out of the picture everything would just go back to normal, wouldn't it Raven?!" accused Storm.
"Ya, pretty much," Mystique shrugged.
Storm gasped, "That's awful! And what about Rogue?!"
"What about Rogue?" Mystique shrugged, "She's young she'll get over it."
"Oh ya, dis is great fo' Gambit's self-esteem," said Remy continuing to squirm.
"Damn it, hold still," ordered Magneto.
"I can't believe you just said that and still call yourself Rogue's mother!" yelled Storm.
"Why, you wanna make something of it?!" challenged Mystique.
"Yes, as a matter of fact I do!" shouted Storm, "I was just curious what you were going to do when Rogue brings a human home like Kurt?!"
"WHAT?!" yelled Mystique, "Kurt's dating a human?!-Not while I'm alive! Where is he?!" She stomped off to find her son.
"Nice," said Wolverine sarcastically, "as if it wasn't bad enough with her interferin' in Rogue's life, now Kurt!"
"Where de hell you tink you goin' wid dat?!" asked Remy as Hank came at him with a stethoscope.
"And just one last question," said Hank putting the stethoscope down.
"Quoi?!" groaned Remy.
"How many helmets do you see?" asked Hank pointing to Magneto's helmet which was sitting on a table nearby.
"T'ree?" asked Remy unsure of his answer.
All the adults exchanged concerned glances.
"Close enough," said Magneto helping Gambit off of the examination table.
Just when you thought things couldn't get worse-
"What the hell is goin' on in heah? Yer makin' enough noise ta wake the dead!" exclaimed Rogue as she walked into the room.
"Non, wait!" yelled Mads running to catch her.
"Not in dere!" shouted Belle bringing up the rear.
The two sisters were supposed to be distracting her while the adults patched Remy up and to avoid a scene, such as this.
"Oh mah Gawd-LOGAN, YOU JACKASS!" yelled Rogue at the sight of Gambit's torso and upper arms completely wrapped.
Needless to say Rogue decided to kick a field goal into the area just below Logan's belt.
-------------
MWAHAHAHA!-Sorry for the wait, shit came up. Anyway thanks for your patients and as always your reviews. I enjoy them immensely.
3 hrs after collapsing in the kitchen, Gambit woke up in one of the recovery rooms at the Xavier Institute.
"Ow," Remy sat up rubbing his head, "De hell happened?"
"How do you feel?" asked Henri who had been waiting for Gambit to wake up.
"Dizzy an' lightheaded," said Remy swallowing hard.
"What's you expect?! You 'aven't eaten in fo' days!" exclaimed Henri.
"Really?" asked Gambit, "Remy t'ought he 'adn't eaten in a year!"
"How 'bout dis?" asked Henri slyly, "I go make you de san'wich an' you go fin' Rogue."
"I don' know," said Remy hesitantly.
"What's ta know?" asked Henri, "You go in dere, talk tings out fo' five minutes, den spend the tree hours 'avin' make up sex!"
"Henri, it don' work like dat wid Rogue-she different. Besides even if we did get it together it still wouldn't matta-" Remy trailed off.
"Porquoi (Why)?" asked Henri.
Remy leaned back against the headboard of the bed, "Fuzzy and de Smerfette (Logan and Mystique)."
POW!
Henri gave his little brother a dead arm.
"OW!" yelped Remy, "De fuck was dat fo'?!"
"Fo'getting' where you come from!" yelled Remy's older brother.
"Henri, you feelin' ok?" asked Remy raising an eyebrow as he rubbed his now soar arm.
"I feel fin'-you de one Henri be worried about!-Since when does anyone from either de T'ieves o' de Assassin's back down from a challenge?! An' to ad insult to injury you de son of de leader o' de Guild-You, Sir, are an embarrassment!" said Henri overacting by crossing his arms and looking away.
"Bro, what are you on?!" asked Remy rather confused and worried about his brother's mental stability.
"I have no brother!" declared Henri.
Remy rolled his red and black eyes, threw the covers off and managed to stand up, but still really dizzy, "Are you getting' all dramatic again?! *sigh* Fin' if it'll shut you and get me somet'ing ta eat in de process I'll go talk to her!" Gambit seceded, "Happy, NOW?!"
"Very." said Henri smugly "-Yo' legs painted on?-Move you ass!"
What Remy neglected to notice was the little illuminated red light on the intercom. You have just witnessed Henri's modified master plan.
-------------
When Henri walked into the kitchen he received a mild round of applause from all those who were waiting for him, which included Belle, Mads, Storm, Piotr, Kitty, Storm, Mystique, Kurt, the Prof. and Magneto.
"Overact much?" asked Belle sarcastically.
"Got de job done, didn't it?" said Henri smirking.
"That's beyond the point," said Magneto.
"Precisely," agreed Xavier, "now that we know what drove them apart," he said looking pointedly at Mystique.
"Now vat?" asked Kurt.
"We sit them down and talk it out," said Xavier.
"Are you kidding?!" asked Mystique, "I admit I don't like seeing Rogue destroy herself, but you have to admit it was nice having life down to a dull roar without having to constantly wonder about Gambit's whereabouts."
"Still," said Magneto, "I would rather worry about Gambit's 'whereabouts' than his funeral preparations on a Friday night (he he)."
-------------
In the meantime Gambit had wandered down the hall of the medical wing to a large set of metal doors in search of his sultry Southern belle.
"Chere?" he called into the silence, but to no avail.
Next time he was going to ask for the sandwich in advance. Remy started feeling woozy and staggered against the wall for balance. In the process his hand hit the button to open the large set of metal door-a.k.a the Danger Room!
"Mon Diu!" exclaimed Gambit as he saw lazars shooting out from the walls.
"Mission. Completed.-Congratulations. Logan," said the computer in a programmed female voice.
"Thanks, Darlin'," said Wolverine walking over to a towel.
"You're. Soooo. Strong." The computer cooed.
"Ya, well-(Sniff~Sniff)," Wolverine smelled the air with disdain as he lifted his water bottle, "hold that thought," he said walking over the threshold of the room, "Loose somethin', Gumbo?" Wolverine growled.
"Oui, mon fili! (Yes, my woman!)" said Gambit crossing his arms.
"Look, Bub, she said she didn't wanna see ya again that means she's not yers. And incase ya were wonderin' she never was!" growled Wolverine.
"Non, mon ami all Cher said was to 'cool it fo' a while'. Gambit can only guess you be de reason why," said Remy narrowing his demonic eyes.
"Look, Gumbo-'Cher' has a name and since yer from the bayou I'll let you in on a little secret-"
"An' what would dat be?" asked Gambit in a dangerous tone.
"Yer walkin' on thin ice, Bub!" warned Wolverine-
SKNIT!
"Whoa-" said Remy putting up his hands in defense, "Gambit be de lover, not de fighter an' a damn good one at dat!-Take it easy, homme-"
"Accessing. Escape. From. Home." said the computer.
Instantly the metallic room was converted into the main hall. Ever since Mystique had trapped the rookies in the mansion while she posed as Professor Xavier, Forge had created a simulation in which all the X-Men had to escape before the mansion went into Defcon 4. It was by far one of the more challenging courses to run and of course with Gambit's luck that was the one the computer accessed.
Logan was barely able to move Gambit out of the way before a circular saw blade took a hunk out of the door frame. Remy's equilibrium still wasn't quite up to par-long story short he wound up at Wolverine's feet.
"The hell's the matter with you, kid?!" asked Wolverine.
"Not'in' Gambit be fine," insisted Remy who was still on the floor.
"Can you stand?" asked Wolverine deflecting flying projectiles with his adamantium claws.
"Not widout fallin' back on ma ass, mon ami," admitted Gambit as he shifted uncomfortably on the metallic floor.
"Great," growled Wolverine.
Just then robotic duplicates of the Acolytes filed into the simulation- armed and ready for battle.
Gambit was aghast, "No fuckin' way!"
"Whadya think we do on the weekends?" asked Wolverine shooting Gambit a superior look, "Sit around watching cartoons?"
"Well, dat was only one of de t'eories," said Remy.
"Theories?!" asked Wolverine.
"Oui," said Gambit looking up at Logan from the floor, "my favorite is de wild ogree (don't know if that's spelled right) one."
"WHAT?!" roared Wolverine.
POW!
Logan was broad sided by a flaming ceiling beam, thrown into a wall and temporarily stunned.
Meanwhile Gambit had had enough he didn't care what happened anymore. He somehow managed to painstakingly rise to his feet, only to come face to face with-himself?!
Well the robotic version anyway.
"Damn-Gambit be a sexy bitch!" commented Remy giving his robotic-self a once over as he walked around it, "Whoa!-Hold de phone!-Dere be no way Gambit's ass dat big!"
BAM!-Robot Gambit sucker punched real Gambit.
"OW!" yelped a now winded Gambit, "Dat's not cool!-Gambit has never taken a cheap shot," he paused, "'cept dat time when Henri pants me at dat pep rally."
"This thief is about to kick your ass," said robot Remy.
"Are you kiddin'?! Remy don' talk like dat!" said Gambit wrinkling his nose in disgust.
"Prepare for pain," said robot Remy as he unleashed a deck of cards form his coat pocket.
Fifty-two pickup was the name of the game as robot Gambit's playing cards went flying in all directions-they were doused in both real Remy and Wolverine's blood.
It wasn't long before Gambit blacked out.
-------------
Remy woke up about 15 minutes later in his least favorite place in the world-the ER of the Xavier Institute. Not only was he greeted by the always unwelcome of sight of Hank holding a syringe, but Henri trying to hold him down, while Magneto was trying to stop the gashes on his arms and chest from bleeding with towels. Storm and Mystique were running around the lab grabbing various sterilizing substances and bandages, while Professor Xavier was giving Logan a once over even though it really wasn't necessary.
"MERDE!" yelled Remy as Hank stuck him with the syringe.
"Goddamn it, Rem, would you jus' stay still until dey stop de bleedin'?!" pleaded Henri as he attempted to stabilize his brother's legs.
But of course Remy being Remy continued to try and shake Henri and get off that God forsaken table.
"Christ, we should just let him bleed to death!" groaned Mystique.
"Fer once we agree on somethin'," said Wolverine, "he's more trouble than he's worth."
"Hey, at least Gambit wasn't making time wid the computer!" Remy shot back.
"I was not 'making time' with the computer!" growled Wolverine, "Forge programmed it to say that stuff."
"An' pigs be flyin',' said Remy smugly.
"It's on!" yelled Wolverine.
"Logan, please," pleaded the Professor.
"Fine," grumbled Logan, "I'll chalk that one up to the pain killer."
"That would just solve all your problems wouldn't it?!" asked an exasperated Storm, "With Gambit out of the picture everything would just go back to normal, wouldn't it Raven?!" accused Storm.
"Ya, pretty much," Mystique shrugged.
Storm gasped, "That's awful! And what about Rogue?!"
"What about Rogue?" Mystique shrugged, "She's young she'll get over it."
"Oh ya, dis is great fo' Gambit's self-esteem," said Remy continuing to squirm.
"Damn it, hold still," ordered Magneto.
"I can't believe you just said that and still call yourself Rogue's mother!" yelled Storm.
"Why, you wanna make something of it?!" challenged Mystique.
"Yes, as a matter of fact I do!" shouted Storm, "I was just curious what you were going to do when Rogue brings a human home like Kurt?!"
"WHAT?!" yelled Mystique, "Kurt's dating a human?!-Not while I'm alive! Where is he?!" She stomped off to find her son.
"Nice," said Wolverine sarcastically, "as if it wasn't bad enough with her interferin' in Rogue's life, now Kurt!"
"Where de hell you tink you goin' wid dat?!" asked Remy as Hank came at him with a stethoscope.
"And just one last question," said Hank putting the stethoscope down.
"Quoi?!" groaned Remy.
"How many helmets do you see?" asked Hank pointing to Magneto's helmet which was sitting on a table nearby.
"T'ree?" asked Remy unsure of his answer.
All the adults exchanged concerned glances.
"Close enough," said Magneto helping Gambit off of the examination table.
Just when you thought things couldn't get worse-
"What the hell is goin' on in heah? Yer makin' enough noise ta wake the dead!" exclaimed Rogue as she walked into the room.
"Non, wait!" yelled Mads running to catch her.
"Not in dere!" shouted Belle bringing up the rear.
The two sisters were supposed to be distracting her while the adults patched Remy up and to avoid a scene, such as this.
"Oh mah Gawd-LOGAN, YOU JACKASS!" yelled Rogue at the sight of Gambit's torso and upper arms completely wrapped.
Needless to say Rogue decided to kick a field goal into the area just below Logan's belt.
-------------
MWAHAHAHA!-Sorry for the wait, shit came up. Anyway thanks for your patients and as always your reviews. I enjoy them immensely.