Farther
By Reanne080
Rated R
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wow. I can't believe I have gotten so many reviews in just one day! And they all were nice, too. Heh heh. Thanks everyone. I hope I can keep you all happy with my story. This next chapter will mainly be in Snape's POV. Thanks again.
^^^^^ = Separations in story and flashbacks
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. This goes for the last chapter, too, but since I posted it right before I went to bed, I forgot to add it in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I want to thank the people who reviewed.
Jliles
Kateri
Lei Dumbldore
Katy999
Enahma- ::chucklels:: Thanks. I know Snape was a little OOC,
but I will be explaining that in this chapter. I hope you like the
rest of this story.
Momma-dar
Stephanie
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you
And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means
And it's been awhile
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile
Since I can say I love myself as well
And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you
And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again
Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day!
And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candle lights your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste
And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem to be I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me
And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
It's Been A While ~ Staind
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Snape's POV* Earlier that day:
Severus was sitting behind his desk, making up a potions schedule that he thought that the students could handle. He was glad for the summer break because he did not have to act anymore. He could be himself with out the little spies reporting his every move to their parents. Now this does not mean that he was all sunshine and happiness, but he was not quite as moody or mean as he had to pretend to be. Damm the little monsters anyway.
He sighed as he realized that he was not even paying attention to want he was doing. He finally decided to go back to his rooms, since he knew he had plenty of time and was not in a rush. As he walked into his room, he was surprised to see an envelope sitting on his table. The paper was yellowed with age and the ink, a beautiful emerald green, was not as vivid as it should have been. He picked it up and turned it over. As he saw whose seal it was, he dropped it. His heart started to race as memories started to flood into his mind. He dropped into the leather sofa in front of the table. He could not believe what was going through his head.
It was Lily's personal crest, cast in emerald green wax. He leaned over and picked up the letter with shaking hands. He held it in his hands, still not able to read what was written. He let his mind wonder to the past.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Severus, a scared, scrawny little boy, with long, dark hair, was sitting in an empty compartment on the Hogwarts train. He was on his was to his first year there. He did not want to be here. He knew he was not going to make any friends and that he wasn't good enough to make his father proud of him. He just knew that he would not get into Slytherin and his father was going to kill him. Just was he was about to throw up, a little red headed girl opened the compartment and smiled at him. He stared blankly at her. She was very pretty, with her sun kissed skin, dashed with charming freckles on the bridge of her nose. Her Emerald eyes flashed with an inner fire that no eleven year old should have. Her eyes were too wise, like they could look into your soul to judge your worthiness to even breathe the same air as her. Severus's breath caught in his throat.
"May I sit in here with you? All the other's are full and you also seem to be my age." The little girl stated calmly and quietly. Severus just nodded his head, too mesmerized to speak. "My name is Lily Evans, what's yours?" She asked.
"Severus. Severus Snape," he said in a very quite but friendly voice. The little girl smiled and held out her hand to him.
"Oh, I like that name. Want to be friends? I don't know anything and I could really use one." The little boy smiled and shook her hand. They chit-chatted till they got to where they were to get off the train. They rode on the same boat and were both shocked speechless at the grand splendor of the castle. They giggled as they got off the boat and walked sedately to the castle. They both stood together all the way to the sorting hat. They held hands till one of their names were called.
"Evans, Lily"
She walked up, very bravely and sat on the stool and did not cringe when the hat was placed on her head. The hat seemed to take its sweet time with her. After about five minutes, the hat yelled out "Gryffindor" She smiled a little sadly at Severus and walked over to her table and sat down.
Severus was very disappointed, but he knew that she would not be pit into Slytherin, since she was muggle-born and that was never done. He waited, even more tense, since his friend was not there to keep up his moral. After a lot more names were read off, th moment he was dreading came.
"Snape, Severus"
He walked with as much pride as he could muster and sat on the stool. He waited til the hat was put on his head.
'Hmmm, very interesting. Very hard to place. I see a lot in your head. I see that you could go into any house. You are very brave, whether or not you believe yourself to be. You are also very intelligent. You are loyal to those who have proven to be worthy of it and you are very driven. Hmmm. Where would you like to go, young Severus?' said the hat.
'You mean, I get to choose? Well, I would love to be with Lily, but I know that that is not an option. Please in Slytherin. That is the only place I can go' Severus thought sadly.
'Are you sure? You could make a lot of friends in Gryffindor, be happier too, in the long run.'
'No, I better go with Slytherin. I cannot disappoint my father.' Snape thought.
"Ok, if you are sure, better be' "Slytherin". Severus stood up and took off the hat. He did not have any expression on his face and walk to his table. As he passed the Gryffindor table, his eyes caught on Lily and he smiled sadly at her and sat down at his table.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
A few years later, Severus and Lily were still friends, but it was a hidden friendship. Both of their houses would shun them for their friendship. They met at the library and often studied together. All that time studying paid off and they became head boy and girl. That year, Severus and Lily got a lot closer to each other. They started to secretly date. However, Severus had to also spend a lot of time with Lucius Malfoy. Boy did he hate that boy. Oh the things one did to please their father.
Around the end of their last year, Severus had to do something that he regretted and had never wanted to do. He had to get the Dark Mark or get disowned from his father. He decided to do the only thing he could think of the make the situation any better. He went to Albus Dumbledore and told him that he would be a spy for the light. He knew that he was going to have to keep up a reputation for being an evil bastard and it pained him to do so. He hated the lie that he lived. But there was nothing that he could do. Lily knew what had happened and agreed with him that this would have to be done. No one else knew but the three of them. Not even Lily's friends, who Severus hated with a passion, knew.
They both graduated at the top of their class and right after, were married by Albus Dumbledore. Everything was great in their relationship till Lily's friends found out that Severus was a death eater. They hounded Lily day and night, but she still refused to give up Severus's secret. Then, around that November, five months later, when Severus returned home from a meeting, Lily was at home, waiting for him. She was gone. On her pillow was a letter.
Severus,
How could you? It has only been five months since we were married. Wasn't I enough for you? Or are you starting to believe that crap that Voldemort is shoving down your throat. Well, screw you. I am through. Do not try and find me. You will not be able to. I am dead to you.
Lily
When Severus read the note, his heart broke in two. He sat there and cried for hours. He couldn't eat or sleep. He just kept waiting for her to come back. After a few moredays, he received a letter telling him that Lily had filled for Divorce. He was too heart broken to do anything about it. Then a month later, Lucuis brought to his attention an article in the Newspaper that James Potter and Lily Evens were married. At this, Severus, walked off. After that, he never let himself love another person in his life. He did not want the pain. He numbed himself to everyone. It got worse when he heard that Lily had had a son and that he looked just like that Potter. Damm then All! Then, he heard that Lily had been killed and that Voldemort had been defeated. He had cried for months after that.
After a while, the act that he had done in school became his true attitude in life. He was cold and mean to everyone. He snapped and snarled at everyone. He kept everyone away fromhim with his surly attitude. He never wanted to care for anyone again.
He kept that vow for the next ten years. Then someone came along who he couldn't ignore. Harry Potter. Damm that boy for having his mother's eyes. He had to look at that boy everyday. Every time that those same emerald eyes looked at him, his heart broke into. He knew he was being unfair to the boy. He didn't have anything to do with his parents, but then, when your heart is hurting, what part does logic take in your thinking. Severushated him for the boy's father for taking his Lily away and hatred for his mother, who left him to be miserable for the rest of his life. It was all he could do to keep himself from throttling him whenever he opened his mouth.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
As the thoughts came to an end, Severus carefully opened the letter. He was scared to death to see what was written there.
Dear Severus,
If you are reading this letter, then I am dead. I am sorry for what has happened to us. Someone lied to me. They sent me a letter, saying that you had cheated on me and being in the emotional state I was in, I believed them. Then, when I went to my friends, theyconvinced me that what was in the letter was the truth. I let them sway me to divorce you.
I should have known that you would never do that to me, but by the time I realized that, it was too late. We were divorced and I was married to James. We were nothing more then friends, but no one else knew that. We never consummated out marriage vows.The reason I married him was that I found out that I was pregnant. No, it was not James', but yours. That is right. Harry, that is what I named him, is yours. He does not look like it now, but when he was born, James and I put a charm on him to look like James. We both decided to put the charms on, to protect Harry. i thought that you were really a Death Eater, that you had switched sides. I didn't want that for our son, so I hid his true parentage. It will start to wear off when he turns 15 because I will not be around to renuew them.
I hope that you can forgive me, but I am hoping that by the time that this letter reaches you, that Voldemort will have been destroyed and that you can raise him as your son. If you don't believe me, ask Dumbledore for a way to prove that he is your son. He will know what to do. No one knew that he was your son, except James and I. Please Forgive me, my Love.
Love forever and always, even in the beyond,
Lily
He stared in shock at the letter and reread it many times over. He had a big grin on his face. Then, it was wiped off. What if this was a joke. What if this was Lily's last revenge on him? He had to get to Dumbledore to confirm what was written. He lept up off thecouch, the letter clutched into his hand and stalked off down the halls to Dumbledore's office.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, that is the next chapter. Man, I can't believe I have posted two day's in a row. I have never done this, but the reviews I got were so encouraging and I had the time and inclination to do it. Yah me! ::smiles:: Well, I hope this pleases everyone. Thanks for reading. Now, please review. Have a nice day.
By Reanne080
Rated R
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wow. I can't believe I have gotten so many reviews in just one day! And they all were nice, too. Heh heh. Thanks everyone. I hope I can keep you all happy with my story. This next chapter will mainly be in Snape's POV. Thanks again.
^^^^^ = Separations in story and flashbacks
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. This goes for the last chapter, too, but since I posted it right before I went to bed, I forgot to add it in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I want to thank the people who reviewed.
Jliles
Kateri
Lei Dumbldore
Katy999
Enahma- ::chucklels:: Thanks. I know Snape was a little OOC,
but I will be explaining that in this chapter. I hope you like the
rest of this story.
Momma-dar
Stephanie
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you
And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means
And it's been awhile
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile
Since I can say I love myself as well
And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you
And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again
Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day!
And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candle lights your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste
And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem to be I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me
And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
It's Been A While ~ Staind
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Snape's POV* Earlier that day:
Severus was sitting behind his desk, making up a potions schedule that he thought that the students could handle. He was glad for the summer break because he did not have to act anymore. He could be himself with out the little spies reporting his every move to their parents. Now this does not mean that he was all sunshine and happiness, but he was not quite as moody or mean as he had to pretend to be. Damm the little monsters anyway.
He sighed as he realized that he was not even paying attention to want he was doing. He finally decided to go back to his rooms, since he knew he had plenty of time and was not in a rush. As he walked into his room, he was surprised to see an envelope sitting on his table. The paper was yellowed with age and the ink, a beautiful emerald green, was not as vivid as it should have been. He picked it up and turned it over. As he saw whose seal it was, he dropped it. His heart started to race as memories started to flood into his mind. He dropped into the leather sofa in front of the table. He could not believe what was going through his head.
It was Lily's personal crest, cast in emerald green wax. He leaned over and picked up the letter with shaking hands. He held it in his hands, still not able to read what was written. He let his mind wonder to the past.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Severus, a scared, scrawny little boy, with long, dark hair, was sitting in an empty compartment on the Hogwarts train. He was on his was to his first year there. He did not want to be here. He knew he was not going to make any friends and that he wasn't good enough to make his father proud of him. He just knew that he would not get into Slytherin and his father was going to kill him. Just was he was about to throw up, a little red headed girl opened the compartment and smiled at him. He stared blankly at her. She was very pretty, with her sun kissed skin, dashed with charming freckles on the bridge of her nose. Her Emerald eyes flashed with an inner fire that no eleven year old should have. Her eyes were too wise, like they could look into your soul to judge your worthiness to even breathe the same air as her. Severus's breath caught in his throat.
"May I sit in here with you? All the other's are full and you also seem to be my age." The little girl stated calmly and quietly. Severus just nodded his head, too mesmerized to speak. "My name is Lily Evans, what's yours?" She asked.
"Severus. Severus Snape," he said in a very quite but friendly voice. The little girl smiled and held out her hand to him.
"Oh, I like that name. Want to be friends? I don't know anything and I could really use one." The little boy smiled and shook her hand. They chit-chatted till they got to where they were to get off the train. They rode on the same boat and were both shocked speechless at the grand splendor of the castle. They giggled as they got off the boat and walked sedately to the castle. They both stood together all the way to the sorting hat. They held hands till one of their names were called.
"Evans, Lily"
She walked up, very bravely and sat on the stool and did not cringe when the hat was placed on her head. The hat seemed to take its sweet time with her. After about five minutes, the hat yelled out "Gryffindor" She smiled a little sadly at Severus and walked over to her table and sat down.
Severus was very disappointed, but he knew that she would not be pit into Slytherin, since she was muggle-born and that was never done. He waited, even more tense, since his friend was not there to keep up his moral. After a lot more names were read off, th moment he was dreading came.
"Snape, Severus"
He walked with as much pride as he could muster and sat on the stool. He waited til the hat was put on his head.
'Hmmm, very interesting. Very hard to place. I see a lot in your head. I see that you could go into any house. You are very brave, whether or not you believe yourself to be. You are also very intelligent. You are loyal to those who have proven to be worthy of it and you are very driven. Hmmm. Where would you like to go, young Severus?' said the hat.
'You mean, I get to choose? Well, I would love to be with Lily, but I know that that is not an option. Please in Slytherin. That is the only place I can go' Severus thought sadly.
'Are you sure? You could make a lot of friends in Gryffindor, be happier too, in the long run.'
'No, I better go with Slytherin. I cannot disappoint my father.' Snape thought.
"Ok, if you are sure, better be' "Slytherin". Severus stood up and took off the hat. He did not have any expression on his face and walk to his table. As he passed the Gryffindor table, his eyes caught on Lily and he smiled sadly at her and sat down at his table.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
A few years later, Severus and Lily were still friends, but it was a hidden friendship. Both of their houses would shun them for their friendship. They met at the library and often studied together. All that time studying paid off and they became head boy and girl. That year, Severus and Lily got a lot closer to each other. They started to secretly date. However, Severus had to also spend a lot of time with Lucius Malfoy. Boy did he hate that boy. Oh the things one did to please their father.
Around the end of their last year, Severus had to do something that he regretted and had never wanted to do. He had to get the Dark Mark or get disowned from his father. He decided to do the only thing he could think of the make the situation any better. He went to Albus Dumbledore and told him that he would be a spy for the light. He knew that he was going to have to keep up a reputation for being an evil bastard and it pained him to do so. He hated the lie that he lived. But there was nothing that he could do. Lily knew what had happened and agreed with him that this would have to be done. No one else knew but the three of them. Not even Lily's friends, who Severus hated with a passion, knew.
They both graduated at the top of their class and right after, were married by Albus Dumbledore. Everything was great in their relationship till Lily's friends found out that Severus was a death eater. They hounded Lily day and night, but she still refused to give up Severus's secret. Then, around that November, five months later, when Severus returned home from a meeting, Lily was at home, waiting for him. She was gone. On her pillow was a letter.
Severus,
How could you? It has only been five months since we were married. Wasn't I enough for you? Or are you starting to believe that crap that Voldemort is shoving down your throat. Well, screw you. I am through. Do not try and find me. You will not be able to. I am dead to you.
Lily
When Severus read the note, his heart broke in two. He sat there and cried for hours. He couldn't eat or sleep. He just kept waiting for her to come back. After a few moredays, he received a letter telling him that Lily had filled for Divorce. He was too heart broken to do anything about it. Then a month later, Lucuis brought to his attention an article in the Newspaper that James Potter and Lily Evens were married. At this, Severus, walked off. After that, he never let himself love another person in his life. He did not want the pain. He numbed himself to everyone. It got worse when he heard that Lily had had a son and that he looked just like that Potter. Damm then All! Then, he heard that Lily had been killed and that Voldemort had been defeated. He had cried for months after that.
After a while, the act that he had done in school became his true attitude in life. He was cold and mean to everyone. He snapped and snarled at everyone. He kept everyone away fromhim with his surly attitude. He never wanted to care for anyone again.
He kept that vow for the next ten years. Then someone came along who he couldn't ignore. Harry Potter. Damm that boy for having his mother's eyes. He had to look at that boy everyday. Every time that those same emerald eyes looked at him, his heart broke into. He knew he was being unfair to the boy. He didn't have anything to do with his parents, but then, when your heart is hurting, what part does logic take in your thinking. Severushated him for the boy's father for taking his Lily away and hatred for his mother, who left him to be miserable for the rest of his life. It was all he could do to keep himself from throttling him whenever he opened his mouth.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
As the thoughts came to an end, Severus carefully opened the letter. He was scared to death to see what was written there.
Dear Severus,
If you are reading this letter, then I am dead. I am sorry for what has happened to us. Someone lied to me. They sent me a letter, saying that you had cheated on me and being in the emotional state I was in, I believed them. Then, when I went to my friends, theyconvinced me that what was in the letter was the truth. I let them sway me to divorce you.
I should have known that you would never do that to me, but by the time I realized that, it was too late. We were divorced and I was married to James. We were nothing more then friends, but no one else knew that. We never consummated out marriage vows.The reason I married him was that I found out that I was pregnant. No, it was not James', but yours. That is right. Harry, that is what I named him, is yours. He does not look like it now, but when he was born, James and I put a charm on him to look like James. We both decided to put the charms on, to protect Harry. i thought that you were really a Death Eater, that you had switched sides. I didn't want that for our son, so I hid his true parentage. It will start to wear off when he turns 15 because I will not be around to renuew them.
I hope that you can forgive me, but I am hoping that by the time that this letter reaches you, that Voldemort will have been destroyed and that you can raise him as your son. If you don't believe me, ask Dumbledore for a way to prove that he is your son. He will know what to do. No one knew that he was your son, except James and I. Please Forgive me, my Love.
Love forever and always, even in the beyond,
Lily
He stared in shock at the letter and reread it many times over. He had a big grin on his face. Then, it was wiped off. What if this was a joke. What if this was Lily's last revenge on him? He had to get to Dumbledore to confirm what was written. He lept up off thecouch, the letter clutched into his hand and stalked off down the halls to Dumbledore's office.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, that is the next chapter. Man, I can't believe I have posted two day's in a row. I have never done this, but the reviews I got were so encouraging and I had the time and inclination to do it. Yah me! ::smiles:: Well, I hope this pleases everyone. Thanks for reading. Now, please review. Have a nice day.